May 12th, 2016

It had been a while since I visited my sister Jamie out of town, so I decided to tag along with my parents when they offered the chance. There is never much to do over at her house, except play with my nephew Robbie for a few hours before he gets annoying. Her cable TV only has a few select channels, and it's her last resort just to flick through the news or cooking programmes. She's a computer person, like most of us these days.

Her husband, Daniel is kinda boring too. He tells the driest jokes. I remember when I was younger and they had just met, how unimpressed I would be at his attempts to make me laugh. It came to the point where Jamie told me I need to loosen up – that it was not right for a man to be intimidated by a six-year-old.

I was happy to know that he was out for the day when we arrived, and it was just Jamie and Robbie alone, keeping each other company. I entered the front door before my parents, scooping up an excited Robbie whilst Jamie stood behind the door. She hugged Mom and Dad before turning to me. "How are you doing, Buttercup?"

"I'd rather you didn't call me that," I sighed. It's a habit she can't let go of. I find it so patronising, and she likes to use that against me. I know she's only joking - it's her instinct to mother me, or treat me like a kid. Sometimes it's like she's the mother, and my parents are like MeMaw and Pops.

"I can't believe you're gonna be in senior year this Fall! You're growing so fast!" She continued with the patronising.

"Not fast enough," I replied. As we edged into the living room, Robbie tugged at my earring in curiosity. I bet he was wondering how it got there, and how it could get out. I put him down before his fourth tug became a yank, and I plopped myself on the couch beside me.

"Do you already have ideas of what you're going to study at college? You've got a year now, practically. I think you told me before, actually; it just left my memory." She said.

"History." I responded.

"Oh yeah! Damn, I was telling all my colleagues it was Geography. I'm useless." She shook her head, smiling.

"Nice to know how much you remember about me." I muttered a bit too snidely.

"I'm sorry. It's just been a while since we talked."

"Well," My father changed the conversation, sitting on the couch adjacent to me. "She has plans to study History. She's always had good results in that subject. It only made sense to continue her studies further. You could go far in that."

I shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"And if that doesn't work, you still always have tennis, right? Let's have some more optimism."

"Let's have some more realism." I countered. All of our conversations ended up bitter now.

"Listen to Dad," Jamie told me. "He's telling the truth. You've got to work your butt off once you get into college. I graduated many moons ago but I'll never forget the workload. You've got to work with the belief that it means something."

"Yeah. Let's get Senior year over with first." I muttered. Robbie was now inspecting my shoes. I've never known someone to be so curious over the most mundane things.

Later, as Mom and Dad were out in the garden watching Robbie mess around on the lawn, I leaned over the island counter as Jamie cut up some vegetables for dinner. I felt like this was the right time to ask, when there was no way that they would hear me.

"Do you remember Bret?"

Jamie stopped cutting mid-way, looking up at me. "Bret Wade?" She narrowed her eyes.

"Uh-huh."

"Of course. Rose's friend. I remember Sofia too, his partner." Jamie is always so formal – she wouldn't say girlfriend. Ever since she got a job as an executive, it's like she can't afford to use colloquial vocabulary anymore. Before I know it she'll be nothing but a briefcase with an encyclopaedia in it.

"How much do you remember about him?"

"I haven't seen him in years, Anne."

"Don't you wonder where he is now?"

"No. Why do you care? You don't even know him." She frowned.

"I was just wondering. Rose's life seems interesting to me. I wish I got to know the people she knew."

"You have your own life. Live it."

"Oh, I know that," I said defensively. "I just said I was wondering."

She shook her head, sighing. She chopped the rest of the vegetables with quick hands. "...He was... from what I know... Bret was a nice kid. He was a bit of a wild one, though. He was a bit of a tornado. A fickle thing. Rumours went around, stories were made up, and he made himself known for the things he did. I didn't like Rose hanging around him that much."

"So you don't ever think about where Rose's other friends ended up?"

"No, Anne."

"Hhmm," I tilted my head to the side, thinking to myself. Jennifer One's life is forgotten by us. People have to move on, I get it. It would be wrong for any of our family to reach out to the past – not while I exist. It's just funny how nobody cares anymore. Her belongings were covered in dust in the attic. God knows where they'll end up in the end. Maybe they'll get burned up, or I'll set up a garage sale when there's no point in them anymore. What else can you do with the past? Bury it? Hang it up on the wall? The least you could do is remember it.

I'm the only reason that there's no need to.

Jamie narrowed her eyes after a while. She was giving me that look of suspicion, when she feels like I might be onto something.

"Why are you asking these questions?"

"No reason. I told you, I was curious."

"Have you found Rose's diaries?" I stared at her blankly. "Rose's stuff; have you found them?"

Lie. Lie, just lie. "Rose has diaries?" I brightened up my eyes. "Where?"

She shook her head. "God. It doesn't matter. Forget it."

"Where are they?"

"I said forget it."