'I really, really, really don't want to go to that party, I hope you're aware' you sighed and glared at Y/BF/N. 

You were outside of her boyfriend's, Ethan's apartment. She practically forced you to go to the boy's birthday party with her. She said she wouldn't know any of his friends and Ethan would be over the Moon if you could come. You were sure she just made that part up. 

You had no interest in going, not even the slightest but somehow, she managed to convince you. And here you were. She was your best friend after all, you couldn't say no to her. Plus, Ethan is the greatest guy she has ever dated, so you decided to get to know him a little better as well. 

'I'm so glad you could make it too, Y/N!' the brown haired boy opened the door after a few seconds. He pulled you in a hug, which surprised you a little but you reciprocated it. He hinted a small kiss on your best friends lips. 'I still have a couple things to do around here but make yourself at home, get a drink, Y/BF/N will show you the way' he smiled and went to get more cups. 

It wasn't a big party, it was just Ethan and his close friends and their plus ones. Approximately fifteen people were present in his flat. You were glad, to say the least. You really weren't in the mood for a bigger get-together. 

'So, would you like a drink?' Y/BF/N asked. She didn't wait for you to answer her question, she made her way towards the kitchen. You shook your head and playfully rolled your eyes but followed her. 

'Let's see what this fella has' she stated and started to examine the bottles. 'How about I make you my speciality?'

'I didn't know you have one' you giggled. 

'Well, I do. It hurts that you are underestimating my bartender skills.'

'My apologies' you laughed. 'What would be your speciality?' 

'I like to call it 'Killer Queen'. It has vodka, gin and tequila in it with a little bit of lime and tonic.'

'I understand the name now, that sounds disgusting. Make it a double.'

'That's the spirit!' your best friend laughed and started mixing the ingredients together. It took her like a minute or so.

'Here you go, let's hear what you think!' she handed you a red cup and without thinking, you took a sip of her cocktail. 

'As I said, it's disgusting' you grimaced but took another big sip anyways. 

'Just don't think about it. Trust me, after this, you won't need another drink to let loose.'

'Sounds correct' you nodded your head, already feeling the drink and its effects on you.

'I think this is the first time I'm seeing you drinking alcohol' you heard a voice coming from behind. A voice that you could recognize anywhere. Jenna. 

You spun around and your eyes met hers. She was just as beautiful as the day you first met her in 10th grade. She switched schools in the middle of the year and happened to sit next to you in math class. The rest was history. 

'Seriously, what happened to that innocent, young girl who used to freak out when I drank cider?' she giggled and took a few steps closer to you. 

'Jenna!' you laughed. 'What are you doing here?'

'Ethan is my tutor in college, we're great friend' the brunette smiled at you.

'Oh my God, I can't believe it. I haven't seen you since...' you didn't finish it. 

You haven't seen her since the two of you broke up. It happened three years ago, right after you graduated high school. It wasn't because you fell out of love, it wasn't anything dramatic either. It simply just wasn't the right time for you two. 

'Yeah, I know' she nodded. 'You've changed' she smiled sweetly at you. 

'I don't really know if it's a good thing or..'

'It is a good thing. You look gorgeous, Y/N!' you couldn't help but blush at her compliment. A part of you hated that she still had this effect on you and the other part... the other part couldn't be happier. 

'I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but hi!' Y/BF/N waved a little. 'It's nice to see you again, Jenna!' 

'Y/BF/N! Hey! I'm so sorry, I was too charmed with the beauty in front of me. How are you?' Jenna giggled and pulled Y/BF/N in a hug. 

It did hurt your feelings. She didn't even try to hug you. But you understood. She had a reason not to. 

You weren't listening to their conversation anymore. You were way too deep in your thoughts. Jenna was your first real love. Of course, you had crushes on a lot of people as a teenager but she was the first one who reciprocated your feelings. She was your first kiss, your first time and unfortunately, she was the first real heartbreak of yours, too. 

You loved being together with her. She was always so sweet and considerate. She never made you feel uncomfortable, she was patient with you. She knew she was your first girlfriend and didn't want to rush anything. 

She was caring, she made sure to pay attention to everything you've ever said to her. She remembered the smallest things that made you happy. 

She was close with your friends and family too. Everyone loved her. Your parents were devastated when you told them about the breakup. 

'I see, you still get lost in your thoughts, just like you used to when we were together. I was talking to you' Jenna carefully touched your shoulder and giggled a little. 

'I'm sorry, what were you saying?' you looked in her mesmerizing brown orbs. 'Where's Y/BF/N?' 

'She said she's gonna give us some private time to catch up on things' Jenna quietly said. 'And I was saying that we should go outside.'

'Oh, okay. Yeah, for sure' you agreed and the two of you headed out of the apartment. 

'So, how have you been?' you asked Jenna when the two of you were sitting outside, in front of the building. 

'Ohm, I've been doing okay, I guess' she gave you a half smile and started looking for something in her pocket. 

A few seconds later she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. 

'I guess some things never change' you smiled a little to yourself. 

'Do you mind?' 

'Go for it.'

When you were together, you hated when she smoked. You couldn't understand why it brings her so much joy. Smoking was the only thing you didn't like about Jenna but now, three years later, in a weird way, you found it extremely hot. 

'How's life treating you?' you asked another boring question. You hated it. You used to talk about  everything with her, even the strangest, most irrational things in the world and now, you talk about nothing. You hated small talks in general but it was somehow worse that you had to do it with Jenna. 

'Good, really great' she smiled at you, taking a puff of her cigarette. 

'I'm glad to hear.'

Silence. You two were just sitting next to each other in dead silence. It was killing you inside but you didn't know what else to say after all these years. 

'What were you thinking about? You seemed deep in your thoughts back there' she asked. You could tell just by the tone of her voice that she knew exactly. 

'You. Us. And how did we messed up such a beautiful thing.'

'I'm asking the same question every single day ever since our breakup, to be honest' she sighed. 'I've never loved anyone as much as I loved you.'

'I've never loved anyone else' you shrugged as embarrassment rushed over you. 

'What do you mean?' she raised her eyebrows.

'I haven't dated anyone after we broke up.' 

'What?' she clearly was surprised at your confession. 

'I couldn't. It's not like I haven't tried but they just weren't you. I guess I was not ready. I looked for you in everyone, hoping I'll find you in someone. I never did' you looked down at your feet, not daring to face Jenna. 'And if I wanna be fully honest with you, I don't think I could date again, at least not now. I need more time to forget about you' you whispered. 

'It's been three years, Y/N' she moved closer to you. You could smell her perfume mixed with the awful smell of smoke. 

'Pathetic, huh?' you giggled a little. 

'It's cute' she gently touched your face, making you look at her. 

She didn't say anything else. She didn't need to. You knew exactly what she was about to do. You knew her all too well. But you didn't stopped her. You didn't want to. 

She slowly leaned in and after three long years, you finally felt her lips on yours again. You could taste the smoke and the strawberry flavored gum. It was a romantic, slow kiss. Just like you remembered. Well, not exactly. It was so much better than the kisses you've shared in the past. 

'I remember why I hated when you smoked' you giggled a little when you pulled away, resting your head on her shoulder. 

'I'll quit.' 

'Oh Lord, how many times have I heard that sentence leaving your mouth' you rolled your eyes. 

'I'm not a dumb teenager anymore. I smoked cigarettes because it reminded me of you. But now that I have you, I don't need this reminder anymore.'

'So we shared one kiss and you think you have me?' you raised an eyebrow at her. 

'Oh..ohm..I-uh..I thought you wanted to try again but I guess I misread the signs... I'm so sorry, I don't want to force you into anything I just th...' you kissed her again, you just couldn't help it. 

'Of course I wanna try again, I was just messing with you' you tucked a single hair behind her ear. 

'We should go back, I don't want to miss the cake' Jenna whispered after a few minutes.

She was just hugging you, caressing your cheeks with her thumb while you played with her fingers. 

'Yeah, let's go!' you intertwined your hands and started heading back inside when something on the street caught your attention.

'Jenna' you looked at the trashcan a few meters away from you. 

You didn't need to say anything else. She let go of your hand, walked to the bin and tossed her cigarettes in it. 

You just smiled to yourself.