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This is me saying sorry for not updating for a very long time. I'm not proud of it and I'm deeply sorry.
These next chapters are dedicated to my amazing readers who are still here with me.
I love you guys a whole lot.
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"So how are you doing?" Hadassah asked starting a conversation.

"I'm fine", Derin answered as her eyes were fixed on a small ball on the table.

" You are not yourself", Derin smirked at Hadassah's words. Reached for the ball and starting playing with it, as though to distract herself.

Hadassah took a sip of her drink as she watched Derin closely. Only if she could open up to her. Only if she could let it out and save herself of whatever hurt was kept inside that lean body.

"When my husband came home with a daughter that wasn't mine. I was outraged, angry, upset. I felt my world was ending. I felt so betrayed", Hadassah found herself telling Derin her life story. That was all she could think of.

" We had not been able to have children. But he had one child, outside the house. I felt so betrayed and heartbroken. No one was there to help me. All their advice was that I should leave him. That he wasn't worth my faithfulness". Hadassah said. Slowly, Derin listened to this story. A story she already knew the end.

"I was about to leave the house. But that faithful day. As I was troubled in my heart, that was the day I set to leave the house. Since Joseph wasn't home. I was about standing from the chair I was seated".

" Your face and radiance were what attracted me to watch the Tv closely. You were so beautiful and I had to see you well. Your words and eloquence got me back to my seat. But although all I wanted was to see how beautiful and amazing you looked. The words started finding their place in my heart".

Derin's head dropped. Indeed she had been a blessing to many. And many of the testimonies about her ministrations were similar to Hadassah's. People admired her beauty and eloquence. That made them want to hear more.

"You were talking about the life of Abigail. The wife of David. And her first husband. Nabal.
Hmm, that day. It seemed like you were talking directly to me. Our husbands mess up all the time. They do unforgivable things. But we have to do what is right no matter what."

"Stand for our husbands even when they do not deserve it. Even when they make the most foolish decisions. We are to stand in the gap for them. Those words Mummy. Those were the words I held to. I gave my life to Jesus and stayed with him. And soon enough God gave me my child. God used you for me. Mummy Jemima, you can also forgive", Hadassah said. Although she couldn't explain how those words came out of her mouth.

Tears rushed to Derin's eyes. How can she forgive? This was unforgivable. Hadassah didn't know what she was saying. She didn't know how her husband had claimed to love both her and his mistress. She didn't know how she had been in pains ever since she knew about this. She didn't know that her last daughter had to leave home because of this drama. She didn't know the nights she spent all alone in that big house. And of course, she didn't know that Pastor Oladele had gotten another woman pregnant.

" Just forgive", Hadassah said again.

Derin laughed, the opposite of what her eyes were doing. She was crying and laughing at the same time. "Forgive? Forgive you say?" Derin asked with a smirk. "You don't know what you are saying", she blurted. " How can I forgive someone who after 30 good years of marriage. Decided to betray me this bad. How can I forgive all the embarrassment he made me go through? He is a wicked person. Killing me daily..."

"We did worse to Jesus. And he still forgave us!" Hadassah gave an immediate come back. Causing Derin to retreat a little. But not for long.

"His infidelity, His hypocrisy. That's too much Hadassah. He wounded me and pour salt on my wound. He dragged me on the floor and made me feel worthless. He is a cheat, a liar, deceiver, and a hypocrite" Derin said.

"You know Joseph was justified to call Mary all those words you just called him. A cheat, a lie, a hypocrite, and a pretender. And many more. Mary who he had thought was a virgin coming to him with a pregnancy " by a spirit". How do you think Joseph felt? "Hadassah said. Derin remained silent as she couldn't say anything more.

" You can give a second chance Mummy. Please, you can!" Hadassah pleaded.

" That's even if he wants a second chance! Goodbye!". Derin stood up and rushed out of the restaurant. Leaving Hadassah clear about the situation but with a heavy heart.

       ••••••

My mind was at rest ever since the call I got. And I was able to bounce back spiritually. I had forgiven my father and all he did to me and every one of us. It was hard but God helped me.

The person who called. Stephanie.

Stephanie was a big sister to me. She was one of those who helped me when I gave my life to Christ. Amazing was an understatement when it comes to Stephanie. She was a strong believer in Christ and her spiritual life had always challenged me to be better. Besides that, she was very intelligent and she was presently studying medicine at a university in the UK. The reason why she had a foreign number. We had lost contact earlier that year and receiving her call was divinely orchestrated.

Stephanie was one person I could tell everything. Even things I didn't tell my parents. She knew a whole lot about me.

"Hello Jemima!", The familiar voice had said that day. Although I still doubted I wished it was her and yes it was. "It's me. Stephanie!" She had said.

My mind was blown away at the realization of who was speaking. I sat up and cleaned my teary face.

"Stephanie? Is that really you?" I had asked just to be sure.

"Yes dear. It's me. I'm so sorry for not calling you all this while, I've been so busy with school work".

" Oh my God it's really you!", it was definitely her. My heart dance as I knew I could talk to her about how I was feeling.

"Yes, darling. How have you been", Stephanie asked with a giggle?

" F-fine... At least after hearing your voice", I said.

"Wait. Is everything okay? And what's wrong with your voice", Stephanie asked. " Have you been crying?".

"Maybe... I really missed you Stephanie. You don't know how much. And how much your presence could have changed a lot of things".

" Oh my God. I hope all is well. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so far away".

"It's okay Stephanie", I said.

" Alright. How's the family? Daddy and Mummy. Your brothers and Anne".

Stephanie was not one I could lie too. And I was sure she knew something was wrong. That was just her, probably the gift God gave her.

So I remained silent.

"Jemima. Is anything wrong at home?" Stephanie asked.

Tears rolled down from my eyes as I discovered how desperate I was to talk to someone. Someone I could trust and someone I could be honest with.

"I know you want to talk. I know you want to say something. I'm here", she said softly.

Stephanie knew me too well. And even after months of being away from each other. She still knew how to get me to talk.

" Everything is wrong Stephanie", I blurted.

"Hmm", she sighed.

" Do you want to talk about it?", she said softly.

A moment of silence passed as I wasn't sure if she would take it normally. Or if she would think I was a hypocrite like my parents too.

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to. But you have to let it out. Probably to your journal or something". Stephanie said.

" My parents are getting a divorce ", I said in a teary voice.

" Hmm", Stephanie said. "I knew something was wrong when your name-dropped in my heart during my quiet time"

I sniveled as I listened to her talk.

"And have you prayed? Have you told God you don't want it?" She asked. But I had not prayed, I was still confused about what to do.

"No, I haven't. My Dad did terribly. I don't think my mum can ever forgive him. I don't have an opinion", I said.

" But you do! Through your prayers. You can reject it!" Stephanie said as I held on to those words. "Or do you want them to separate?" She asked me.

What child would want her parents to get separated? Although my dad had been a terrible one. I didn't want anything to happen to them. And I desired things to go back to before.

"No, I don't. But my Dad did a terrible thing. He sinned against God and man!", I said.

" And who made you Judge?"

Her question cause my heart to rend. Who made me judge? Who was I to judge my father? Yes, he had done terrible things, but who was I to determine his judgment.

"We commit sins every day and God forgives us. How do you know if your father has not asked for mercy? ".

" I do not think he even wants to be forgiving. Because he justifies every action he takes".

"Then pray for him!" Stephanie said. "That's what God wants from you. To stand in the gap. You might be hurt. Talk to God about your hurt and how you feel. Tell him how much you feel betrayed by your father's actions. And tell him to help you forgive him".

A.N
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