Moral of this entry: If you are going to be a paranormal dick to someone, you are going to get your butt busted. Ghostbusted.

Can somebody please explain why "ghosting" is a thing? It exists. I have no idea as to why, but it does.

Why!

What plausible function does it serve?

Why would anyone ghost someone instead of simply calling it quits? Telling a person that they are barking up the wrong tree? Not interested? Moved on to greener pastures? Is already in a committed relationship? Joined the Peace Core and is being shipped out in twenty-four hours.

Or what about sending a single text message? It doesn't have to be an essay. You are not Shakespeare, you don't have to write a soliloquy about your decision. A tweet would even work.

Why?!?!?!

It's called common courtesy. Communication. Respect. 

VERBALIZE THAT SHIT!

The only context in which the term "ghosting" should exist is when there are actual ghosts involved. And I'm not even talking about the Patrick Swayze variety. Forget the pottery. Think haunted mansion.

That place has 999 ghosts but you ain't one!

I think that is pretty clear.

Now could someone be a ghost?

That can happen. All the time by the number of reported hauntings worldwide. So, it is a fair given.

Maybe someone is not sure that they are an actual ghost?

If you think you may have shaken off the mortal coil and are stuck between the world of the living and the hereafter, here are three easy steps you can use to make sure that you are in fact no longer part of the breathing populace.

Step One: Check for a pulse.

If you have one you are not dead. Congratulations! If not, proceed to step two.

Step Two: Check to make sure that the laws of gravity still apply to you.

Do you have your feet planted on the floor? Can you pick things up? Do they fall to the ground if you drop them? If you can answer yes to any of those, you are still in the mortal realm. Good for you! If not, proceed to the next step.

Step Three: Are you corporeal?

To discover this move toward the nearest doorway. If there are no doors use a solid object like a wall or a very large tree. Take a deep breath. Release it. Now try to walk through a solid door. If you cannot do this that is a for sure sign that your body is still intact and functioning on this plane of existence.

If you have passed through the door without any issue, you may want to start looking for a bright light or flashing sign pointing upward or toward the closest funeral home.

That wasn't so hard now was it? See, painless and easy.

So why not tell someone outright that you are not interested in spending time with them instead of leading them on for weeks or months? Afraid of rejection? Don't be. Just say it outright, plain and simple, so that everyone is on the same page.

It's about how to be respectful and honest. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

Because that is what a non ass-hat Anne Rice wannabe Hot Topic reject ghoul with an inferiority complex and no backbone would do.

You don't want to be labeled as one of those now would you?

(Bearded Wonder Bro wisely hangs back, eyeing the situation carefully before turning to look at the reader)

Bearded Wonder Bro: The guy she was talking to all summer finally agreed to meet up for coffee last night. He pulled a no-show and has now gone off grid. She is not happy about this.

Me: (muttering darkly) He better be in the ground or out of town because if he's not, he's gonna be.

Bearded Wonder Bro: Okay maybe "not happy" is a bit of an understatement. Don't worry...I happen to know some ghosts that are looking for a new haunt. I think I've found the perfect place. (cracks knuckles)