Dear Misters Padfoot and Moony,

  I, James YesIHaveAMiddleNameButIWillNeverTell Potter, am OVERLY FUCKING DONE with your PDA. (Public Display of Affection.) (yes Sirius I know you love your "liwwle bby boi who wuvs cuddles and coco owo" but it's annoying)

BEFORE YOU GET MAD OR UPSET MY CHILDREN

read.

Please.

Yes, Sirius, i know that's a hard thing to do but you can manage

It has come to my, and every other fucking person in this fine castle, that you two make love and googly eyes at each other, never stop touching, and alway kiss, and, as much as I love seeing you two together (because I'm your biggest shipper), it's too much! Honestly you both look like youre going to jump each other's bones every five seconds.

So, from this day forward, I ask for mine and everyone else's sanity, that you turn it down a tad.

(YES THIS INCLUDES AT MY HOUSE SIRIUS, YOU LITTLE FUCK) (I still can get the stain out 😤😤)

No one is saying you have to stop completely, just turn it down a bit. It is overbearing and a bit annoying. I hope you understand.

I know I'm annoying but geez (yes Sirius, I am more annoying when it comes to Lily, but I'm speaking on behalf of the people and not just myself!)

NOW!

On to the next point in this wonderful letter from the bestestestest (yes this is a word Remus) friend.

I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF HANGING OUT WITH FIRST YEARS BECAUSE PETER HAS NEW FRIENDS (BABY COME HOME TO MEEEE!) AND YOU TWO ARE OFF DOING MERLIN KNOWS WHAT WITH EACH OTHER'S BODIES!

YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE WITH THOSE ADORABLY CUTE CHILDREN! (Fuck off Sirius. I know where you sleep.)

YOU TWO HAVE LEFT ME!

PETER HAS LEFT ME!

MY NEST IT EMPTY!

COME HOME! IM BEGGING ON MY KNEES

(Yes I am going to write to Peter about this!)

I MISS MY LITTLE BABIES!

Now! Onto the third and final thing.
(Yes Remus I am making a third thing. I'm feeling particularly picky today.)

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING

STOP

FUCKING

IN

MY

BED

That is all.

Sincerely,

Mister Prongs

•-•

This is for ughhlifeeUwU