She forced herself to stand, ignoring the now-familiar prickling heat that spread across her skin before washing over her with a wave of icy chills. It was a bizarre sensation, like being caught between a scorching desert and a freezing tundra. Taking a deep breath, she forced her leaden legs towards the door. Every second spent in this room felt like an eternity, the silence pressing down on her like a physical weight.

She found her father and Ammi seated comfortably in the living room on the second floor. Sunlight streamed through the expansive windows, casting a warm glow on the plush couches and intricately patterned rug. Despite the seemingly relaxed atmosphere, Jadwa couldn't shake the knot of tension coiling in her gut.

As she entered the room and offered her salaam, a smile, unexpected and wide, stretched across her father's face. It was a sight that sent a jolt through her. The last time she'd seen such a carefree expression on his face was before the incident with Abdulhakeem.

"Jadu, how are you?" Her father boomed, his voice filled with an unnerving cheer.

"I am good, Baba," she managed, forcing a smile that felt strained in comparison.

Ammi and Jadwa exchanged a brief glance before rising from their seats, seemingly giving them space to talk.

"Jadu, as your father, I've thought long and hard about this," he began, his voice softening slightly. "I've been praying for a way to resolve all these problems we've been having, on both Hajiya's side and yours. I'm not going to point fingers, but what I need you to understand is that no matter what, you are my child, and I will always want what's best for you. You must remember, they are our family, and we can't always reject their proposals, especially when things have gotten this bad," he spoke earnestly, his gaze fixed on her. Jadwa listened intently, her heart pounding a frantic rhythm against her ribs, silently praying he wouldn't bring up Adam again.

"I spoke to Muhammad," he said, clearing his throat and straightening his posture. It took Jadwa a beat to realize he was referring to Imran. "He's a good man, a very responsible young man who, in my opinion, would take excellent care of you, my daughter," he continued, his words making her stomach clench.

"As your father, if you trust my judgment and accept my decision, I would like to bring our family together with Muhammad's family for an introduction to possibly arrange a marriage between the two of you," he finished, his voice firm but laced with a hint of hope. Jadwa's mind reeled, the weight of his words settling on her shoulders like a heavy stone.

Silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating. A minute bled into two, then three, then five. Jadwa struggled to form a response. Did her father truly want to get rid of her so quickly? What was the rush? Why was he so insistent on marrying her off, whether it be to Adam, a man of her own choosing, or now, Ya Imran?

Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision.  Her father reached out, his touch gentle as he tapped her on the head, a gesture that usually brought warmth to her chest. But this time, it felt heavy, a physical manifestation of the burden he was placing on her shoulders. 

Numbly, she remained sitting, unable to meet his gaze before he left the living room. Ammi walked in almost immediately sensing her distress, sat beside her like a comforting shadow. Jadwa didn't speak, but with a small, defeated sigh, she leaned into Ammi's embrace, seeking solace in her familiar scent. Ammi wrapped her arms around Jadwa tightly, a silent understanding passing between them.

"Jadu, I know things might seem overwhelming right now," Ammi murmured soothingly. "Don't be angry at your father. In his own way, he's trying to protect you."

Jadwa let out a choked sob. "Ammi, it feels like he just wants to get rid of me. Baba wasn't like this before. Why is he so eager all of a sudden? At least he could give me some time," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. 

"Jadu," Ammi replied gently, "anything I say might not change your mind right now, but trust me, you'll understand with time. Your father loves you, no matter what." Her voice softened further. "But right now, the truth is, we don't have the luxury of time. You don't have the luxury of time."

Jadwa peeked up at Ammi,  "So you also want me and Ya Imran together?"

Ammi chuckled softly. "Jadu, if I had even an inkling that Muhammad Imran was interested in you, we wouldn't be in this situation," she admitted honestly. "As your mother, I'll always want what's best for you, and I genuinely believe Muhammad is a good man."

"But I don't think I love him, Ammi," Jadwa confessed, her voice barely a whisper.

"Marriage isn't always about love, Jadwa," Ammi explained patiently. "It's about respect, trust, commitment, and building a life together. Love can grow over time, I promise. You will learn to love him"

Ammi squeezed Jadwa's hand gently. "Look, I won't force you into anything. But I know you well, my child. I see it in your eyes, the way you react when his name is mentioned, how you act around your sisters and their teasings." A knowing smile played on Ammi's lips.

"Ammi!" Jadwa protested playfully.

"I even overheard from Ameerah that you were getting all dolled up the day you thought he was coming," Ammi teased, a glint of amusement in her eyes.

"Ya Ahmad told me to! Plus, it was a Friday " Jadwa countered defensively.

"Sure, and it takes a whole village to convince you to dress up on Fridays, even I gave up on that battle years ago," Ammi chuckled, the tension easing slightly.

Jadwa couldn't help but laugh along, the sound breaking the heavy silence. "Ammi, a little crush is different from loving someone. Are you getting old already?" she teased back.

"Iyyeeeee!" Ammi exclaimed, feigning offense, her hand flying to cover her mouth. "Shameless girl, so it's true you do like him," she said, her eyes twinkling with delight.

Jadwa shook her head furiously. "I don't," she mumbled, but the lack of conviction in her voice betrayed her.

"Maybe not now," Ammi conceded. "But I do advise you to give him a chance, Jadwa. And pray about it," she added sincerely.

Jadwa nodded slowly. "Alright, Ammi, I will. InshaAllah, it will be for the best," she said, a flicker of hope rekindled in her eyes. 

Ammi leaned in and kissed Jadwa's cheek. In that moment, peace settled over Jadwa.  She didn't know if accepting Ya Imran was the right decision, but she was willing to give it a try. After all, what did she have to lose?

***

The following hours were a blur. Images of Baba's hopeful expression, Ammi's comforting words, and her sister's taunts swirled in her mind. Why did everyone seem to think Ya Imran was such a great catch?

Curiosity gnawed at her. If he was truly a good man, as everyone seemed to believe, why would he be interested in someone like her, someone with a reputation that preceded her? Unable to resist the urge any longer, she reached for her phone and switched it on remembering that he said he tried to reach her.

Two missed calls from the same number on different days greeted her. A pang of familiarity shot through her. So that's his number? She bit her lip, a mix of apprehension and a strange fluttering in her stomach washing over her. Before she could overthink it, she opened her social media app.

The first thing that grabbed her attention was a notification about a new post. With a deep breath, she clicked on it. Her heart plummeted to her stomach as the image loaded on her shattered screen. It was a wedding invitation card.  Her eyes scanned the bold text, landing on the names: "Safiya Joda weds Abdulhakeem Joda."

So, it was Sofie after all.  The "coworker" who called him incessantly.  A bitter laugh escaped her lips, devoid of any moisture.  The anger that had simmered beneath the surface for weeks now erupted into a fiery wave.  How dare he use her? How dare he lead her on?  Shame burned in her chest, hot and raw.

Despite the anger, a strange sense of emptiness washed over her. There were no tears, no desperate pleas.  It was as if her emotional well had run dry.  With a newfound resolve, she blocked Abdulhakeem on every platform and shut her phone off with a finality that surprised even her.

She went to the bathroom and stood in the shower but it wasn't for showering this time. It was a sanctuary, a place to be alone with the storm raging inside her.  Tears welled up, hot and angry, but this time, they were for herself.  She allowed them to fall freely, a cleansing release of pent-up emotions.  For a long time, she stood there, letting it all out.  This wasn't just about Abdulhakeem... it was about the hurt, the judgment, what she had to go through, all that was never her fault.

Finally, the tears subsided, leaving behind a raw vulnerability and amidst the pain, a seed of acceptance bloomed.  She had to move on, even if it meant taking a leap of faith with someone new, someone she maybe, just maybe, already harbored a secret affection for.

Ishe performed her ablution, the cool water a soothing balm on her burning skin.  As she put her head in the last sujood, the dam finally broke.  Tears streamed down her face, hot and cleansing.  She cried until her body shook, until her sobs subsided into hiccups, and until her weary arms could no longer hold her weight.
This wasn't just about Abdulhakeem. It was about the loss of her time, the betrayal of trust, and the sting of rejection.

She had cried, she had mourned, and now, it was time to move on. A strange sense of calm settled over her. And that, right there was her closure.

****

She changed her tear-stained jilbab, the damp fabric clinging uncomfortably to her skin. On her way to Ammi's room, she bumped into her brother Ahmad, his tall frame filling the doorway. Relief washed over her

"Ya Ahmad," she began, her voice catching slightly. "It's good I'm seeing you now."

He frowned, concern etching lines on his forehead. "What happened? Why are your eyes like that?"

"I am having allergies" she lied and he skeptically nodded.

"Ya Ahmad, really. But I need your help with something."

A small pout formed on her lips, a silent plea for his understanding. "I feel so shy, I can't even look at Ammi or talk to Baba." She fidgeted with her fingers, the gold bands on her ring catching the light. Her brother's confusion deepened with each passing moment.

"Jadu," he said, his voice laced with exasperation, "what is it?"

Jadwa squeezed her eyes shut, willing the jumbled thoughts in her head to form a coherent sentence. "Tell Baba," she blurted out, "tell him I trust his decision." Relief flickered across her features, a fleeting spark before the next words tumbled out. "And Ammi... tell her I'm giving Ya Imran a chance."

But the weight of the situation settled back on her shoulders. "There's more," she mumbled, fiddling with the edge of her jilbab. "My phone... it's broken. Ya Imran called a few times, I need to get it fixed."

Her voice dropped to a whisper. "And... I need to text back Anaya. And maybe call Ya Imran back too."

Ahmad stared at her, his wide eyes taking in the emotions swirling on her face. He found peace and relief instead of the sadness he head searching for.

"Shh," he said softly, a calming hand settling on her shoulder. "One thing at a time, okay?

Jadwa Laughed and he laughed along still uncertain about Jadwa's decision, he decided to let go and do as just as she said.

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