| h e a r t a c h e  a n d  s h i v e r s |

ⓣ 

      THE TRAIN REACHED a stop, and once Thadeus had waited for others to leave, he too begun to make his way out. His mind was still a mess from the morning. What the hell had Madame Ai had meant by 'rogues'? It sounded like a foreign word, something distasteful, and heinous.

      Thadeus felt nothing but unsettled at hearing the word. It left a wrong taste in his mouth.

      He pushed back the tumbling thoughts to the back of his mind, biting his lip, he knew he came here for a reason. Thadeus couldn't afford to think about anything but the main aspect of this trip. But, sometimes, distractions felt needed and quite possibly comforting.

      Hopping into a taxi, his nerves were a mess. Heart beating feverishly, Thadeus began to feel nervous again. He was human after all, and it had been a few months since he last visited. He wondered if she still remembered him. After last time, Thadeus wasn't so sure.

      Reaching the Elderly Peoples Home, Thadeus paid the cab a wad of cash and began to make his way to the door. Hesitantly opening the door, he walked in and nodded to the receptionist. He used to be a frequent visiter. Key words; use to be.

        Thadeus entered the room that had pale blue walls with sunflowers hand-painted. An elderly woman who had her back to him was rocking slowly in a chair, a dreamy smile on her wrinkled, aged face.

      Touching her shoulder lightly, Thadeus crouched down to eye level as the woman turned around.

      "Oh! What a handsome young man!" she gasped, eyes wide with surprise. A wave of hurt washed over Thadeus, there was no recognition in her eyes.

       "Hey, Gramma," he said quietly.

       "What is your name, young man?" she asked, interest in her eyes and a small smile playing at her lips. Her wisdom seemed to have faded away, as the disease that ate at her fed on it. 

       "Thadeus," he whispered, strings tugging at his heart. He couldn't bear it. Every single fucking time she didn't remember him. Was it so bad that Thadeus wanted her to remember him? Even for one, single moment?

       Was it such a sin to want his own grand-mother to recognize the grandchild she cherished not too long ago? His heart ached, and ached. Thadeus felt hollow and beaten. Feeling as though he had been hit, Thadeus raised his hand to put it over her hand.

       "Thadeus, what a lovely name," her smile seemed to glow, a haze in her eyes appearing. "I wonder who named that," she tilted her head at him, eyes oblivious to the fact she was the very reason his name was that.

       Oblivious to the fact she was his only immediate family member alive. Oblivious to the fact that she was his will to live. Clenching his jaw, he forced a smile, and eyes burning with frustration, he leaned in to give her a hug.

         "Oh! Such a handsome, handsome young man, who are you?" and just like that, the vicious cycle began.

○ ○ ○ 

     Leaving the Elderly Peoples Home was like leaving his heart out in the desert, allowing the vulture to have their way with ripping it to ribbons. It pained to be forgotten, more so by the one he cherished the most.

       Shaking his head, Thadeus tried to lighten his mood by calling up his uncle as he walked to a near grocery store. The line rung before it ended at a voicemail.

      "Hey, Vincent, I'm back in town for a day, or two, so if you need anything, I'm at your service..... I - I met Gramma, she doesn't seem to be getting any better. In fact, worse, but we can only hope, right? Anyways, I'll..... I'll see you soon, for dinner maybe?"

       Ending the call, Thadeus looked up to bump into someone. A very bony shoulder that hit Thadeus' chest.

      "Jesus, what the hell is your chest? A brick wall?" hissed the pale man with high cheekbones. Wearing a somewhat formal outfit, the tall brooding man looked like a cosplayer.

      "Dude, I don't think Comic-con is for another month? And what video game has a Vampire?" snorted Thadeus, rolling his eyes. "Super cool, though, I like it."

       "What?" eyes narrowed at Thadeus, the man may have been fuming.

      "I don't know, maybe you're a furry? I mean if you're a furry, it's alright, just, why? I - I don't know, it's your choice man," raising his hands up in defense, Thadeus' mind seemed to tangle into itself more. These past few days left him prone to ramble.

      And Thadeus never rambled.

      The impossibly fair man simply shook his head in confusion, his dark hair remaining in place, and left. Sighing, Thadeus took a deep breath. He wasn't acting like himself. Not at all. Feeling his pocket vibrate, he answered the phone, walking through the open market.

      "Thase! It's been too long! Why didn't you come visit sooner?" rushed a voice that seemed out of breath. 

      "I had things I had to do," biting his lip, Thadeus ran his fingers through his hair.

      "Cut the b.s, boy. I know you're upset about your Mary-Jane. She'll get better, okay?"

      Thadeus simply snorted. There was no cure. Only medication that made his sweet old lady throw up, and feel sick in general. It was a miracle she was smiling today.

       "Don't give me that attitude," huffed Vincent, but Thadeus knew he was being affectionate.

       "There was another... accident, this time on Dawson."

       "Another murder?" surprise and worry was clear as day in Vincent's voice. Nodding his head, Thadeus forgot he was on the phone.

       "Mhm, yeah. They've enforced some dumb curfew," chewing the inside of his cheek, Thadeus proceeded to purchase a burnt amber jewel encrusted in a bracelet. It looked beautiful.

      "And I bet you already broke that. Not that that's good, but I'm pretty sure you did. How did Madame Ai respond to that?" laughed Vincent, but there was an edge to his tone. Thadeus knew the man was just worried about his nephew.

       His nephew was just careless.

       "Ai was quite pissed, but she loves me."

       "It's Madame Ai, dumbass."

      "Jesus Christ, you're like Mei and her!"

      "Anyways, how does 8 sound to you?"

      "Perfect. See you then, Vince."

      "Take care, boy."

      Thadeus had time to kill, and he knew the perfect way. There was someone he needed to talk to before dinner. Someone who could help with the crimes. But Thadeus had yet to find someone to help with the whole 'rogue' word thing. Or even with helping with why his dreams lately were so dark.

      Or how they made him wake up in a sweat, fearing for his life. Thadeus was never one to be scared easily, yet recently, it seemed quite the opposite. Shaking his head, he made his way out of the crowded, bustling with life market, and reached to the edge of the street. Hailing a cab, he hopped in.

     "Where to, boss?"

      "The police station, sir."