Chapter 09: The Joys and Mysteries of the Night!!
Written by: Dreamer of Clouds

***

Author's Note:

Hello, my darlings!!

Glad you guys are back for the next chapter of Jacked UP!! It really does mean a lot to me that you guys are enjoying my writing, and I just wanted to say I really appreciate it. Also, just wanted to let you know, after posting my question up about whether or not I should write a lemon, I got an overwhelming number of votes for yes.

So, it looks like I will be writing one; but, I doubt it will be any time soon. In addition to that, several readers did request for a warning/notice so that they may skip over the part if they chose to - and I intend to honor that request. 

I will let you guys know when I post it.

Again, like I've said, if you have any questions, comments, or concern about my writing or anything about the lemon chapter, I would be more than glad to answer. If not, then I guess we're all set here.

And now, without further adieu, let's continue on with the chapter! :D

***

"Is he nice?"

"Yes, very sweet."

"Does he take care of you?"

"Always looks out for me, so don't worry."

"What's his job like?"

"In the same line as mine," I said. "He can protect me and kick anyone else's ass who tries to murder him. Or, at the very least, give him a hard time." I gave Grandpa a significant look. He held his hands up in surrender and smiled.

It had been about half an hour or so since Netero and I sat down in the Great Hall and began catching up with each other. So far, we've covered the usual topics of 'I've missed you', 'how have you been' and 'what are you doing nowadays?'

All seemed fine and well, until he asked about my boyfriend – to which I told him that Illumi and I are currently engaged.

He freaked out.

Wouldn't let the topic go since we first talked about it, and that was 25 minutes ago. Sighing, I leaned back in my seat and massaged my throbbing forehead.

"You can be so over-protective, you know?" I said. "Don't get me wrong. I love it, but sometimes – a little too much."

"Oh, sorry, sorry," he apologized, though I could tell he was clearly enjoying this. "You're just growing up so fast, and I'm not around as often. It's hard not to ask questions."

"Which is fine," I explained. "But don't be over-bearing about it."

"Understood," Netero said. Propping his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers and getting down to business, he looked me in the eye. "So, when will I be a great-grandfather?"

"Uuugghhh," Groaning, I smacked my forehead down on the table. It hurt, but I did it again anyways.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

...

...

...

And again.

The old man couldn't help but laugh at my pain. "It seems that you've matured into a nice, young lady."

"Stop lying."

"Stop hurting yourself."

"Then stop – giving – me – a reason – to!" I responded, emphasizing each word with a smack on the table. "Why are you so....ughhh!"

I stuck my tongue out at him.

Netero laughed yet again.

As much as I love my old man and his quirky, sadistic humor, it was hard to get him to shut up with his jokes sometimes.

I swear to God, I thought. I'll be Tonpa's level of dumb after this conversation.

Thankfully, Netero finally showed mercy and moved on from the topic of marriage, babies and changing diapers. "So," he began yet again. "How about his family?"

Oh shit...

Okay, so not a great topic to switch into.

"Tell me about them," Netero continued, completely oblivious to my horror. "What are they like? What do they do? Are they kind to you?"

He patiently waited for me while I tried to figure out how to tell him about my fiancé's screwed up household. Do I start with the psycho mother or the bat-shit, super insane servants?

"I'm waiting," he said.

"Well," I began, not really sure of what to say. "Illumi comes from a family of ten – with one great-grandparent, two grandparents, two parents, four siblings and himself."

"So, he's a family guy then?" he asked.

"Erm," I said, laughing nervously. "You could say that."

"Really?" The stupid 'I-know-what-you're-doing-and-I'm-on-to-you' grin on his face was spread so far, he looked like the Joker. "Do explain – in very great detail. I would love to hear more about him."

"Um..."

"I'm waiting," he repeated.

"You know how family guys are," I said, trying to wean him from the conversation. "They like – you know, family. And are very helpful in family matters. And doing family stuff."

"Such as?"

"Killing people." The words literally slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. "With laughter, I mean."

"So, they're jokers?" he asked.

"Big family of jokers," I lied. "They love happiness and stuff."

"What are their best jokes?"

"Knock-knock jokes."

"Tell me one."

"I can't remember any."

"Not even a small one?"

"Nope."

"I'm sure you do."

"Not really."

"That's too bad."

"Yup."

"You're making this up as you go, aren't you?"

"Very much so," I nodded. "Can't you just drop the topic – just this once?"

"I'm afraid I can't," Netero said grimly. "As your grandfather, it is my responsibility to look after you and make sure you are living well."

"I am living well," I argued.

"Then tell me about his family," he pressed on.

"Ughhhh," I smacked my forehead down on the table and whined again. Like a little kid who's not getting what she wanted. Then again, I am a little kid who's not getting what she wanted.

Don't get me wrong, though.

I had no issues with letting Netero into my life and telling him details of whatever he wanted to know about. I just had issues with not knowing how he would react when he finds out about Illumi's family.

He could either: completely disapprove of the marriage and get involved; or, he could treat me like he treats my dad and never talk to me again.

Which would be bad, considering I barely had a relationship with my grandfather already.

"Just tell me about them," Netero said, though this time a little more gently. "I just want to know if they're a good family for you. What do you think of them?"

Slowly, I turned my head up and peered at him from behind my long black bangs. The look on his face was of such pure care and concern that I was rendered helpless against the old man.

Rising from my depressed stage, I propped my elbow on the table and rest my chin on my hand. "They're pretty cool."

Netero tilted his head. "Pretty cool?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Illumi comes from a family of assassins. The Zoldycks. You know, the ones who live on Kukuroo Mountain in the Republic of Padokia?"

"The Zoldyck family," he nodded thoughtfully. "They're a powerful and influential group. Scary, some might even say."

"Not really," I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "They're more dysfunctional and chaotic, than scary."

"Is that so?" he asked.

I nodded. "Most of the people in the family are dorks."

"You just said they were cool."

"They are," I nodded. "But in a dorky way."

The look of confusion on his face couldn't have been more apparent. So, sighing, I looked out of the window and continue my explanation.

"Most of them try to kill me," I began.

At the memory of my first encounters of the Zoldyck children, I felt a small anime stress mark throbbing at the corner of my forehead.

"When I first met Illumi's family, the youngest child, Kalluto, tried to cut me up into little pieces and serve me to his dog."

"What a charming person," Netero joked.

"Sure, if you like getting paper cuts on your privates," I muttered unhappily. "Just be careful not to call him a girl."

"Is that what you did?" he asked.

"..."

Netero snickered.

"Hey, don't laugh!" I said, smacking the grown man on his bald head. "In my defense, it was hard to tell his gender. Their mother lets them wear female kimonos and grow out their hair."

"Oh my," Netero stroked his beard as he contemplated the thought of a cross-dressing Zoldyck spawn. "What about the rest of the children? You said your fiancé had three more siblings, didn't you?"

"I did," I nodded and continued to tell him about my impressions on the remaining family members.

I told Netero about the second youngest child, Alluka. The little boy tried to kill me too, but this time, it was by accident. So, I couldn't say I hated the kid; though, at the same time, I couldn't say I was very fond of him either. He was very dangerous to be around, which was why I didn't fancy spending time with Alluka.

Otherwise, I would've loved playing with the little kid in his room of toys and dolls and whatnots.

Next up was Milluki.

I hated that stupid bastard.

He was a fat-ass who didn't know the difference between his head and his rectum, and did nothing but wasted his days in his room where he probably fapped to unrealistic, unwilling cute anime girls, who – if they got to know him – would die from disgust.

Netero laughed at that.

Finally, I told my grandpa about the middle child Killua.

The little brat I'm babysitting.

Out of all the Zoldyck children, he was the most normal. Killua liked kid things, hanging out and playing in the playground. His favorite food was Choco-Robots and whatever random sweets he could get his hands on. He was also very energetic and loved sparring with me whenever I came over to the Zoldyck manor.

Despite his attitude problem, Killua was a real darling sometimes.

"I'm surprised," my old man giggled. "That's a side of you I've never seen before. Caring for little children."

"Only him, though," I pointed out, before narrowing my eyes. "You tell anyone and I'll kill you."

"My lips are sealed," Netero made a small X-mark over his heart.

"Good," I said. "Now, are we done with this conversation?"

"Almost," he said. "What about the parents?"

Damn it.

So close to getting away from the topic too.

"Netero, you little son of a –" I sighed exasperatedly. At this point, I'm done with trying to evade his questions and giving into his persistent nagging.

"You know," Netero said. "For a young person, there's so much hatred, violence and anger pent up in you."

"You should see how I act with Illumi's mother," I muttered, blood pressure rising at the thought of Kikyo Zoldyck. "I completely despise that bitch."

"What's wrong with the mother?"

"A lot of things," I responded instantaneously. "The main one being an insane psychopath who obsesses way too much over her children's kill-streaks."

"And what about the father?"

"He's cool," I admitted. "Love that man. He's the only one who can control his yandere wife while remaining sane. He's also sparred with me a couple of times and taught me some tricks."

"That's good to hear," Netero smiled. "What about the grandfather?"

"That old geezer?" I scoffed. "A complete loner. Doesn't even talk to me that much and, the few times he does, he's done nothing but brood like a sour apple."

I still remembered the look of disappointment on Zeno Zoldyck's face – for whatever reason – when I left the family manor with Illumi the other day. Wrinkly, dry and smelled like soap and prune juice.

"He's starting to look like a sour apple, too," I muttered.

Netero burst out laughing.

"Wow, you're very straightforward," he said. "I'll be sure to pass the message on to Zeno, when I get a chance."

...

...

...

Wait, what?

"Pass the–" I stared at him, completely baffled. "What d'you mean 'pass the message on?!'"

"Oh, did I forget to mention?" Netero stuck his tongue out, very mischievously. "Zeno is an old acquaintance of mine. We keep in touch from time to time."

"You mean you–?!"

"Knew everything from the beginning?" He dropped the 'I'm-an-innocent-old-man' act and smirked. "Yes, I did."

I threw my Jack at him.

Or, at least, I'd meant to.

Netero ducked, which caused my Jack to sail over to the door, which Beans happened to open at the moment; but, because he was such a shortie, it sailed harmlessly over him as well, and hit Leorio, who was coincidentally walking with Kurapika in the hallway at that moment.

The blunt end of my Jack crushed his nose for the second time today, causing him to fall into unconsciousness, also for the second time today.

Of all the ridiculous and impossible things that could have happened, this had to be one of them?

"Ah, shit," I cursed, scratching the back of my head. "What the hell do I do now?"

"Don't let your guard down," Netero replied.

Fully taking advantage of the confusion, Netero appeared behind me, pushed me down on the ground and sat his pointy-butt down on my back. It hurt like hell.

I growled. "GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, OLD MAN!"

"Hey now," he chuckled. "I'm not that old."

"Arie?!"

Looking up, I saw the stupidest scene ever: the dinner cart tossed aside with delicious food and drinks spilling onto the carpet; Beans hiding behind the door, as if it were some Kadan-safeguard; Leorio passed out and cuddling with my Jack while his ass was wiggling up in the air, back and forth; and Kurapika – poor, poor Kurapika – completely confounded at the sight he was watching.

Crossing his legs so that he could put his full weight on me, Netero waved to Kurapika and held up a peace sign. "Yo!" he greeted.

"Um..." Kurapika's eye twitched.

"Was there something you needed, young man?" Netero continued, disregarding the unconscious applicant nose-bleeding on the ground. "I'm sure my assistant, Beans, can help you."

"Ano..." Kurapika, was at a complete loss of words, turned his attention to me in hopes that I would help him make sense of the situation. "What's going –?"

I smacked my face into the carpet.

Though I couldn't see it, I was pretty sure Kurapika was sweat-dropping. Completely, utterly confused. "–On?"

Netero chuckled and patted my head.

"Don't worry about her," my grandpa assured him. "She's just a little annoyed at the moment, is all."

Smack.

I had tried to wrestle out of myself and change positions so I could take Netero's head and face-plant him. Instead, the old man – who's obviously had more experience than I have – somehow maneuvered himself out of my grasp, lurched back in within range, and kept my head down.

"Okay," Netero laughed. "Maybe more than a little annoyed."

"Um..."

Still speechless.

"Kurapika..." I looked up from the ground and growled. "Say a word to Leorio about this, and you're dead."

"What?"

"In other words, I will kill you if you tell anyone." I narrowed my eyes and gave him my most hateful look. "Got it?!"

"Erm...yeah..."

"Good," I said. "Now go."

He nodded.

Not that the kid had much of a choice, anyway. I would've somehow found a way to get out from under my old man and scared the hell out of the Kurta.

Quietly, Kurapika bent down to pick Leorio up by the legs and began dragging the unconscious body down the hallway, leaving a thin trail of blood on the carpet.

I sighed.

There's no way Kurapika's letting this go, I thought, somewhat annoyed. He's got way too many questions, and not enough answers...

"Chairman Netero," Beans squeaked from behind the door, and eyed me nervously. "Is Miss Kadan...?"

"Mentally stable enough that she won't attack?"

Beans nodded.

"Yup!" Netero smiled and held his thumb and pointer-finger together, in order to make an 'O.K.' sign. "She won't hurt you, so don't worry!"

It's not him you should worry about, I grumbled.

Hopping off like some happy-go-lucky frog, Netero got off of me and helped me up to my feet. After taking his hand, I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"You're lucky Beans is here as a witness," I said. "Otherwise, I really would have let you have it. Would have hidden your body somewhere no one could find. Like a janitor's closet."

"Oh-ho-ho," Netero laughed. "Now, that's somewhere I would have never thought about looking."

"Sarcasm will get you nowhere," I said.

"I could say the same for you."

"Um, Miss Kadan?" Beans tugged on the hem of my shirt. "I believe you – erm, dropped this."

Looking down, I saw Netero's tiny assistant hand me back my Jack, unscathed and perfect condition. You know, minus the small speck of blood that oozed out of Leorio's nose.

Taking the Jack from him, I shrunk it down to travel-size and stowed away my weapon in my back pocket.

"Thanks, Beans," I rubbed the little man's head adorably. "I really appreciate it.

"It's no trouble at all," he waved off.

Though, I could tell he was still a bit nervous around me.

While Beans may have been Netero's assistant for years – and years to come – I was pretty sure I was the scariest person he's ever met. What with my short temper and spontaneity to attack. Plus, I knew for a fact that Beans had no idea that I was Netero's granddaughter and we normally acted this way.

"Also, Chairman Netero," Beans turned his attention to the old man beside me, grinning. "I do apologize for the inconvenience."

Netero raised his eyebrow. "What inconvenience?"

"Originally, I had planned to give you your dinner first before the Proctor Meeting with Miss Menchi, Mister Buhara and Mister Satotz; however, as you can see –" Beans gestured to the upturned dinner cart, "I had a little accident."

"Ah," I scratched the back of my head and smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that."

"It's no trouble," Netero said. "You didn't mean to. Right?"

"Yeah," I said, a little quietly. But it's such a waste...

I peered over to the mess I had unintentionally and indirectly created. The dishes scattered, the silverware splayed, the bowl of mashed potatoes half-scooped out.

But worst of all was the halibut.

The beautiful piece of fish – which was dressed in sheer butter sauce that hid its voluptuous and meaty curves, its delectable texture, and its salty flavor – had been thrown across the room and split into five uneven pieces. Not too far away from it was the chopped parsley topping, completely disregarded, as if it were some underwear a one-night-stander had accidentally forgotten.

In the back of my head, I heard a little voice crying out, calling to me, asking, "How could you do such a thing? I thought you loved me, Arie-chan..."

It made me very sad.

"With that being said," Beans continued on, ignorant to my internal struggle. "It will be a while, though, before I can get the chefs to cook you something. So, why don't you head over to the Meeting, and I will serve you your food after? Or, if you prefer, as soon as it has finished cooking?"

"Bah," Netero waved his assistant's concern away. "You can give it to me whenever. It's not like it was specially prepared or anything."

"Actually," Beans added, picking up the dinner cart and setting it straight. "When Miss Menchi heard that Miss Kadan was having dinner with the Chairman, she went out of her way to prepare one of her best dishes for both of you."

Netero's face instantly paled.

"I don't believe I have ever seen Miss Menchi so motivated before," Beans paused thoughtfully, as if remembering the female proctor's effort. "It's such a shame that all of this went to waste."

"Yes, it is," Netero said. "Say, Beans?"

"Yes, sir?" Beans then continued to pick up the plates, eating utensils, and most of the mashed potatoes from the floor. "What is it?"

"Do you mind keeping this little incident between the three of us?" At this point, the old man was exuding buckets and buckets of sweat and body odor. "I'm sure there's no need for Menchi to find out about this."

"Oh, but there is," Beans replied. "She told me to report back to her and tell her your impressions of the dish, as soon as possible."

"Is that so?" Netero laughed, his voice a little too high. "In that case, go on then."

"You know, sir," Beans said, flashing my grandfather a reassuring smile. "You shouldn't worry about it. Miss Menchi is a very kind person and I'm sure that, after telling her the details of what happened, she will understand and forgive you."

I rolled my eyes. Not likely...

In the very short time that I've known and talked to Menchi, the spunky-ass girl didn't strike me as the easy-to-forgive type of person. Especially not about food.

If anything, she would do what I do when someone made a fool out of her effort: beat the crap out of them.

Beans finally cleaned up the rest of the food and covered the disaster on the dinner cart. Pulling said disastrous cart out, he looked at us and smiled reassuringly again.

"I'll be back soon, sir," he said. "Please continue to the Meeting Room."

"Ah, right," Netero made another 'O.K.' sign. "I will be right there."

"See you then, sir."

Beans closed the door.

...

...

...

"Well," Netero chirped. "I'm off!"

"But wait, aren't you–?"

"See you next time!" he turned on his heel and began walking towards the window, which he opened shortly and tried to shove his body out of. Which had got to be the most insane thing anyone's ever done.

Yet, here he was.

Running my hand through my hair, I sighed and shook my head. Quickly walking over to my loony nut-bag of a relative, I grabbed his ankle and yanked him back in.

Surprisingly, it was easy to do.

Netero tilted his head in confusion.

"Was there something you needed?" he asked. "My life is sort of on the line here, sweetheart."

"You know, Menchi's going to find you anyway, right?" I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow at him. "There's not many places you can hide on this airship."

"It doesn't hurt to try," Netero said positively. "Well, I'll see you–"

"Wait," I said, pulling him back again.

"Yes?" He asked.

"...You better stay alive," I muttered, losing the nerve to say what I wanted. "If you die, I'll kill you. Understand?"

"Of course," he gave me a close-eyed smile. "If that's all, then I'll see you later. Hopefully, at the end of the exam?"

"Yeah," I lowered my gaze. "Guess I'll see you then, old man."

"Hey," Netero raised my head and rubbed my chin. "I won't be gone long. I promise. So, don't get too down. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay."

"In that case," Netero stuck his tongue out and gave a small salute. "I'll see you!"

"See you."

He leapt out of the window and vanished into the dark, dark night without a single trace. No sign of Nen whatsoever to help me figure out where the heck he was going.

Which wasn't all that surprising.

I mean, Isaac Netero was the Chairman of the Hunter Association. Of course, he would be an expert in disappearing and evading his enemies.

But still...

It sort of sucked.

Spending time with my Grandpa after not seeing him for several years, and all of a sudden he was leaving?

I already missed the stupid arguments that I had with him.

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the wall and gazed out of the window. Hoping for Netero to come back and say something senseless.

He didn't.

It was just me.

"You know, Gramps," I muttered his name under my breath, hoping the wind would carry my voice and he would somehow hear my words. "You should come by the Mansion sometime. It's almost Mom's birthday."

No response.

"She'll want you to be there," I said. "And so do I."

***

I glanced at the hallway clock to check the time.

It was 10:45 pm.

About an hour or so since Netero and I parted ways. Also, about an hour since I began my quest to find someone who would keep me entertained.

So far, no luck.

Gon and Killua were off doing whatever it is young boys do in their Bro-time. Kurapika was too busy tending to Leorio's wounds. And Leorio was, obviously, still knocked out from my Jack's impalement.

The closest luck I had was with Menchi and – as expected – she couldn't spend much time with me because she was on a warpath.

She roamed the halls, looking for Netero, as she waved her oversized deba-bocho with one hand in the air like some insane maniac, and choked the living daylights out of Beans in the other.

I felt bad for the little guy.

Beans was the one who delivered the unfortunate news to Menchi and, as such, he received the punishment that was meant for my old man.

I sighed. Is there no one out there that can keep me entertained until I fall asleep?

At this point, I'll just go to sleep.

Find somewhere comfy to snuggle up with a fluffy pillow and pretend it's Illumi. I haven't seen my fiancé in a few hours and – frankly – I was starting to miss him.

I wonder if he misses me too, I asked myself.

Then I shook the question out of my head.

Of course, Illumi misses me.

He just doesn't have the time to tell me 'cause he's too busy hiding his identity and dealing in some weird-ass business with Psycho Clown.

Plus, it's not like I don't know he loves me.

The last time he said that was...

Well...

I still know he does.

Besides, Illumi was the type to show his appreciation with actions, not words. Even if he hasn't said "I love you" in a while, he shows that he still cares by patting me on the head, cuddling with me and all that.

So, I'm good.

Perfectly.

Good.

But I miss him!!! I whined, running my hands through my hair and messing it up. At this point, I was ready to pull my hair out, too. I want to see him soon!

Sighing, I resigned myself from useless whining and crossed my arms. There was nothing else to do, anyway. Maybe I should just go to the guest rooms and sleep.

It was getting pretty late and I needed to save my energy for tomorrow. Knowing Netero's sense of humor and screwed up personality, he probably picked someone who loved to play tricks and beat you senseless with a mental-bat.

Oh, god.

That's going to be a pain in the ass.

Reaching for my back pocket, I took out a small key that Grandpa handed me earlier. It was small, about three inches long, with the Hunter Association emblem imprinted on it.

I stared at it for a long time, while recalling the conversation we had earlier. Apparently, Netero had prepared a room for me as soon as he heard that I was participating in the exam.

Something about not wanting me to get molested while I slept.

Or something like that.

Well, I decided after finally thinking about it. Since he went through the trouble of setting it up, it would be a waste if I didn't.

Returning the key to my back pocket, I headed down the hallway, until I came across the row labelled 400-450 and 460-490.

I think Netero said my room was 480, I thought, taking a right turn ahead.

Or, I'd meant to take a right turn ahead.

Instead, I walked straight into the arms of Hisoka – tall, ugly, badly-dressed Hisoka. With really big, muscly, hard-as-steel arms. With his dumb grin, terrible make-up and lack of fashion sense, the 27-year-old psycho pervert looked at me curiously.

"My, my," Hisoka grinned. "What do we have here?"

Instantaneously, my face flared bright red.

"Ew," I scoffed. "Get the hell off me."

"Can't do that," he said, voice lilting. "You're the one who crashed into me, you're the one who has to get off of me."

"Then let me go," I snarled.

Flashing me a close-eyed smile, Hisoka held his hands up to show that he had no hold on me whatsoever and that gravity was just being a little turd for unintentionally helping me put my weight on his chest.

His very chiseled, very rock-hard –

Shut up, Arie, I told myself. Shut up.

As I was mentally cursing myself, Hisoka looked over to the side and redirected his attention elsewhere.

"It looks like your little rabbit likes to play," he teased, gesturing to me. "Isn't that sweet, Illumi?"

Eyes wide, I looked in the direction Hisoka was staring at.

For the first time since the Biska Forest pig stampede, I saw Illumi – or rather, Gittarackur – standing next to me, within arm's reach. His dark-blue Mohawk bristling upwards, his off-tan skin tone somewhat mellowing in the dimly-lit hallway, his needles protruding from every imaginable angle possible, Gittarackur looked every bit mortifying from when I first saw him.

Ignoring the fact that Hisoka had used his real name instead of his alias, Illumi stared at me unfeelingly.

For some reason, I felt really awkward and uneasy under his gaze.

Then I realized it was because I had my cha-chas pressing up against Psycho Clown's solid, broad chest.

"Ah!" I yelped.

Panicking, I slapped my hands on Hisoka's bulky arms and violently shoved him away. However, because Hisoka held his ground better than I did, he ended up not moving at all and I, sadly, fell on my ass like an idiot.

Great move, Arie.

Great.

Frickin.

Move.

At this point, I did the only thing that would have saved me from humiliation: I got up, crossed my arms, glared at Hisoka and acted like nothing stupid had ever happened. Illumi didn't say anything and went along with it.

Hisoka, on the other hand, merely smiled – a mocking, overly-confident, narcissistic smile that made me want to punch him until he's blue in the face.

"I hate you," I muttered, loud enough for Hisoka to hear. "I really, truly, sincerely – with the passion and intensity of a thousand suns – freakin' hate you."

He smirked. "Of course you do."

I felt a vein in my forehead about to burst. First the incident with Netero, and now this...?

I could just die happy now.

Not.

Trying my best to ignore the psycho pervert, I focused on Illumi. There was no response from him.

He simply watched me.

Ever since we got in the elevator for the Hunter Exam this morning, he has kept his distance and made no advances towards me whatsoever. Again, he had his reasons and I totally understood; but, at the same time, I'm really lonely...

Whatever, I shrugged. Illumi was probably talking about something super important with his so-called special friend, and I ruined it by ramming my dairy pillows in Hisoka's face...

Okay – so, not in his face, but it might as well have been.

Either way, it was awkward and weird and I should probably say sorry for interrupting them. Running a hand through my hair, I bowed my head apologetically to Illumi.

"Sorry for the intrusion," I said. "I'll take my leave so you guys can go back to...whatever the hell you were talking about."

I turned on my heel and began walking away.

But, with my crappy luck, Hisoka had somehow appeared behind me, draped his arms over my shoulders and forced me to stay. His lips practically pressing up against my ear, Hisoka leaned in close.

So close, I could feel his breath brush against my bare skin and send shivers down my spine.

Creepy shivers.

"Now, where do you think you're going?" He whispered quiet mischievously. "It's rude for you to avoid your fiancé and his friend so blatantly, don't – you – think, Arie~chan~??"

I scowled. "Don't call me Arie-chan."

"But it's so fitting," he teased.

"No, it's not."

"How so?"

"It's downright creepy."

"Now, that's just mean."

"Hisoka..." Illumi interrupted, catching both Hisoka's and my attention. Looking over, Hisoka locked gazes with Illumi and smiled.

Though they weren't saying anything, it was clear there was some hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo, mental showdown going on.

About what, I don't know.

And who the heck was winning, I couldn't tell.

But, I hoped Hisoka's getting his ass whooped by my fiancé.

Which, I guess, was what happened because Hisoka let out a small "heh" before pushing himself off of me.

"Oh, I see," Hisoka said in an all-knowing, devious tone that practically drove me insane. "So, that's how it's going to be..."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's how what's going to be...?"

"In that case," Hisoka, without bothering to answer my oh-so-obvious question, gave me an overly-flirtatious wink and waved goodbye. "I'll be going, then. I'll see you, Arie~chan~!"

"Would you–?!" I stamped my foot, irritated. "Don't call me Arie-chan!!"

"No can do, Arie~chan~!"

"Ugh!"

At that point, Psycho Clown had already left and disappeared off to the lands of sexual harassment normality. Huffing, I crossed my arms and simmered in pure frustration. He can be so friggin' annoying!!

"Arie..." Illumi said, his voice cold and monotonous. "We need to talk."

"Huh?" I blinked, momentarily forgetting about my passionate dislike for a certain Psycho Clown. "Talk about what, Illumi?"

"Follow me," He turned and walked away.

Somewhat confused, I shrugged and fell in-step behind Illumi as he led me to Heavens knows where.

***

Illumi and I were in a room, all alone, sitting on a bed, and doing absolutely nothing sexual whatsoever. First time unaccompanied with my darling fiancé today and no cuddles, no kisses, no nothing.

It made me want to cry a bit.

I sighed. I wanna snuggle with Illumi...

Taking out his needles, Illumi had reverted back into his usual self: long, flowing black hair; pearly-white, flawless skin; and adorably-wide cat eyes. Slipping his needles back into his pockets, Illumi looked over to me and nodded.

"So," he said.

"So," I smiled. "It's been a while. I missed you lots."

"Huh?" Illumi tilted his head in that cluelessly–cute way. "But it's only been a few hours. I fail to see how that qualifies as 'being a while.'"

"We've barely talked at all today," I whined. "Anything more than an hour away from you qualifies as far too long."

"You could have waited," Illumi pointed out cleverly. "The last time I checked, you were fairly capable of waiting."

"But I didn't want to."

"But you could have."

"Doesn't mean I wanted to."

"...But you could have."

"You've got to be..." Mentally, I face-palmed myself. Of course, he's going to respond like that. What was I expecting?

It's not like I was hoping for him to spontaneously rip his clothes off like a beautiful butterfly and do the sexy–wexy with me.

Okay.

So, maybe I was hoping; but, you can't exactly blame me. Dirty thoughts are a natural and healthy part of a relationship and I'm not getting it from him.

Guess it's time to use...THAT...

Determined, I put on my best flirtatious smile and began scooching over to my dearly beloved future husband.

All while Illumi was contemplating my inability to wait like a regular person.

"So, Illumi," I giggled, leaning on him and wrapping my arms around his. Using my index finger, I traced circles around his chest playfully. "What do you want to do now?"

"Oh, right," he nodded. "How's Killua doing?"

...

Wow.

There's no bigger buzz-kill to one's personal ego than bringing up your lover's siblings. Such a shutdown.

Sighing, I finally hung my head in depression and gave up trying. Pulling away, I took my legs off of Illumi's and straightened myself up.

"Killua's doing fine," I said, forgetting my personal matter and focusing on the topic at hand. "If anything, he's doing a lot better compared to when he left the Zoldyck manor."

"Oh?" Illumi blinked, interested. "How so?"

"Well, for starters," I began, crossing my arms thoughtfully. "Killua's not being a brat. He's actually being very friendly and cooperative and, from what I've seen, he's smiling a lot more than he ever has in his life."

And come to think of it, I thought. This is the very first time he's been allowed to act like a kid. No training, no responsibilities, no evil b!tch mother breathing down his neck...

It's almost as if he were...normal.

That mere thought of that made me smile. Not because I wanted Killua to be less than extraordinary; but, because I knew that's all Killua had ever wanted.

Just to be normal.

"You know," I added. "The best part is he's made a couple of friends, too."

"Friends?" The confused tone in his voice couldn't have surprised me more. "What does Killua need friends for?"

"They're important," I said. "Friends can give you vital life skills – from sharpening your mind, inspiring you to reach your goals, and getting to know yourself better."

"I fail to see how that's relevant to his life," Illumi continued, tilting his head. "In what way will getting to know himself better make Killua a more potent assassin?"

Oh geez...

I guess I'm going to have to spell it out for him.

"Think about it this way," I said, searching for a new angle of explanation. "True friends, who know you well, are able to see things that you can't and aren't afraid to share their dose of reality with you. They keep you in check and let you know your limits so that you don't overstep any boundaries, or overestimate your abilities. "

"Okay," Illumi nodded, though still not completely convinced. "While that may be true, Killua doesn't needs friends. He has his family and servants to help him with his skill improvements and assassination techniques."

He gave me a meaningful look.

"He also has you, Arie," he said. "Shouldn't that be enough?"

"Not necessarily," I shook my head. "Killua doesn't have anyone the same age and gender as him around the Zoldyck household –"

"What about Kalluto and Milluki?" Illumi asked. "They're the same age and gender as him."

"But they're family," I pointed out. "And family tends to be biased when it comes to their own. So, that doesn't really help much."

A moment of silence.

And then...

"...That's depressing," Illumi muttered, folding his arms and contemplating my input. "I thought for sure that Killua only needed us."

Judging from the look on his face, Illumi really wanted to be the only who Killua relied on. It was both heart-warming and heart-breaking, watching my fiancé trying so hard to support and please his little brat of a sibling.

The lost puppy-dog look in his eyes was so adorable, it actually made me want to wrap my arms around his neck and comfort him.

"You know, Killua making friends isn't a bad thing," I said, trying to cheer him up. "In a way, it's kind of like your relationship with Hisoka."

Whatever the hell that was like, I thought.

"Just like Hisoka?" The 24-year-old Zoldyck mumbled considerately. "If that's the case, then I suppose it makes sense."

"See?" I nudged his ribs with my elbow. "Not a bad thing."

"But compared to Hisoka, though, they all seem dangerous and immature. Especially the boy in green."

"You mean Gon?" I couldn't help but laugh. "Trust me, the kid doesn't have a dangerous bone in his body whatsoever. Plus, he's the most mature person I could ever think of."

If anything, he was the best influence on Killua.

Still, even as I said this, Illumi still didn't respond. It was as if he were fixated on something. It's been a while since I saw him like this.

Last time he was this quiet or contemplative about a family member was when I asked him about his thoughts on Alluka being locked away. And even then, I didn't get an answer.

Looks like I won't get any from him on this topic either, I thought.

Then, I remembered something Hisoka had mentioned earlier. I already knew Illumi wasn't going to tell me; but, it didn't hurt to try.

"By the way," I said, interrupting his train of thoughts. "What's your relationship with Psycho Clown? How come I've never heard of him before?"

"Ah?" Illumi blinked several times before he made eye contact with me. "You don't need to worry about it."

I figured...

But still, there was that nagging feeling in the back of my head. It's probably not a big deal or anything, nothing I need to concern myself about, like Illumi said.

Abruptly, Illumi stood up.

"In any case," he said. "It's getting pretty late. I should probably take my leave."

"Already?" I asked. But you just got here...

"Yes," he nodded. "We still have the Hunter Exam to finish tomorrow, so we need all the rest we can get."

Reaching into his pockets, Illumi took out the yellow needles he usually used for his transformations and looked at me. "See you tomorrow."

Just as he was about to insert his long-ass needles in his skull and change his adorable expressionless cat-face into Gittarackur's scary one, I grabbed his wrist.

"Wait," I said. "Can I ask you for something?"

Illumi tilted his head. "What is it?"

"Can I get a kiss?"

"A kiss?"

"Goodnight kiss, I mean," I added quickly, a warm blush working its way across my cheeks. "Normally I don't ask for cheesy things like this, but I really did miss you and I don't know when I'll be able to see you next. So, I guess this is just me –"

Placing his hand on my shoulder, Illumi softly pressed his lips against my forehead, then pulled away.

The sweet sensation lasted mere seconds; but, with the sudden shock and happiness that I felt, the moment felt like it lasted hours.

Confused, and a little high from euphoria, I looked up at my fiancé.

He stared at me with the same blank eyes, but I knew, behind all of that, he was doing his best to show his love for me. "Is that okay?" he asked.

It took me a while before I snapped out of my admiration and slowly nodded. "Y-yeah," I said, my face still reddening a bit. "That's, um... yeah, that's fine."

"In that case," Illumi blinked. "Can I go?"

"Can I get a second one?" The words literally slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I mean, you know what? Forget it. Forget I even asked that."

Ashamed, I lowered my head so that my long bangs covered my face and hid away my embarrassment.

Maybe I shouldn't have asked, I thought, mentally smacking myself. I've probably ruined his good mood or something stupid like that...

While Illumi may be my future husband, Illumi was still Illumi. Anti-social, hesitant, needed to take baby-steps in a relationship.

Asking him for a kiss – much less a second one – was probably the most romance he could muster in one day.

I sighed. There was no way he would...

Illumi lifted his long, slender fingers and brushed my hair behind my shoulder. His skin barely touching mine, he caressed my shoulder, traced the edges and veins of my neck, grazed my jaw from back to front, and then pinched my chin with his soft, but very firm hands.

With a gentle nudge, he applied a small amount of pressure upwards, motioning for me to follow and meet his gaze.

Our eyes met.

"I-Illumi?" I stammered.

He kissed me.

Not on the forehead, not on the cheek, but right next to the lips.

His warm breath, which smelled like cool air and evergreen, tickled me pink and set my senses alight. His skin, soft and smooth like an innocent child, made all the hair on my body stand on end. And his gentle breathing, light and sweet, reminded me that this moment – this special moment – was real.

And just like the first kiss, quick as it happened, it was over.

Pulling away, Illumi removed his hand from my chin and patted my head.

"There," he said, completely oblivious to the fact that my mind had exploded and oozed out of my ears. "How was that?"

"That was, um...it was – uh..."

Yeah, brain is still putty.

Help me.

Discombobulating all together, my legs turned into Jell–O, my insides splurged out, and my heart fan-girl-ed so hard, I couldn't get up. I was just a joyous lump that had puddled on to the ground and experienced the greatest happiness I could have ever imagined.

Illumi, quite confused, stooped over and poked me with his foot.

"Ne, Arie," he said. "Are you alive?"

"Yeeaahhhh," I mewed in blissful joy. "I'm very, very alive."

For a moment, I could have sworn I heard a chuckle, but again – that could be from over-active, lovey-dovey imagination. Smiling the biggest smile I could manage, I giggled.

"Goodnight, Illumi!" I said.

"Goodnight, Arie."

***

Okay.

So, I couldn't sleep.

In fact, sleep was the last thing on my mind. With all the adrenaline and endorphins coursing through my veins, I was surprised that I wasn't bouncing off the walls like some Energizer Bunny on steroids.

"Ah, screw it!" I growled.

Smacking a hand on top of the pillow that covered my face, I pulled it off, pushed myself up and slipped on my shoes. I'm going for a walk...

Reaching over to the bed stand, I grabbed the small backpack Beans had filled with medical supplies, snacks and random shit I pocketed from other applicants and slipped my arms through the straps.

Pocketing the room key away in my back pocket, I left the small dorm and took a late night stroll.

It was 2:20AM.

Most of the applicants had fallen asleep; but, there were still a handful of individuals who were roaming around the halls and doing their own business.

One of them was Tonpa, that son of a bitch.

The stupid ball of fat was creeping around, like some wanted pedophile, and watching my friends sleep. I nearly rotisseried him on the spot.

But lucky enough for him, I kept my cool when he saw that I saw that he was planning something and Tonpa skedaddled away.

Good grief, I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Why are there so many annoying people in this place?

And speaking of annoying, I saw Killua walking down the hall, towards me. He was shirtless and sweaty, fresh indications that he had been doing some kinds of workout. His head lowered, his bangs covering his eyes, he emitted scary killing power that would have a normal person pee their pants.

I jogged up to meet him.

"Hey, squirt," I said, shoving my hands in my pockets and walking alongside. "What have you been up to?"

"Leave me alone," he muttered.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why are you in such a bad mood?"

"It's not of your freakin' business, okay?!" He snapped, stopping in his tracks and glaring at me. "Look, why don't you go crawl in a hole and eat your junk food until you're fat like Milluki? Give yourself something to do instead of worrying about me."

"Hey now," I pouted, puffing my cheeks. "I can't get that fat. It's impossible."

"Oh yeah?" he scoffed. "Then what's up with your big, fat head?"

"I'm smart," I replied.

"You're so..." Killua released a very frustrated, much suppressed sigh before raking his hand through his hair. "Whatever. I don't need this."

Jamming his fists back into his pockets, Killua began walking away from me. To where, I don't know; but, I probably shouldn't leave him alone.

Not when he's this pissed.

Who knows what will happen if I do?

Quietly, I fell into step behind the 12-year-old Zoldyck and watched him carefully. Even though I was at a distance, I could hear him growling and cursing under his breath. This went on for about 10 minutes.

Talk about grumpy, I though as I watched him go out of his way to kick over a trashcan in the opposite direction of where he was headed. Whoever annoyed him must have been someone noteworthy...

It wasn't every day that I saw the little kid angry – as in sincerely angry. Not the angry that Killua and I use to joke around; but, the kind that scared the Devil shitless.

Killua had accidentally bumped someone.

I sucked in my breath. Ah, damn. That's not good...

I rushed past the tall, casually-dressed man and his generic-faced partner, and caught up with Killua. At this point, I could practically touch the Bloodlust and play with it like Play-Doh.

"Killua," I whispered. "Calm down..."

"Shut up," he hissed.

"Hey!" the tall, casually-dressed man numbered 309 shouted. "Wait up, kid!"

I snapped my head back, over my shoulder, and glared at them. It was the only warning I would ever give: "Leave him alone."

They didn't seem to pay any attention to me and kept harassing Killua. The generic-faced man, numbered 391, balled his hands into fists.

"Tch," he snarled. "You bump into us and then ignore us?"

"Bastard!!"

They charged at him.

I closed my eyes – not because I was scared, but because I didn't want to see it.

By vigilante law, any murders I saw that were unjustly carried out had to be amended. So, if I had no visual proof that Killua had killed two stuck-up guys and was merciless about it because he had a bad day – I won't do anything.

Splat...

By the time I had opened my eyes, I saw two decapitated bodies lying limp on the floor, by our feet. Not too far away were the heads of the former, 390 and 391, rolling down the halls. Blood sputtered out of several severed major arteries, the droplets propelled out of the vessels.

With the heart using the last bit of its energy to keep the blood pressure up, new patterns painted the carpet, walls and windows a streaky red.

I sighed. "Killua..."

"I know, I know," the 12-year-old Zoldyck muttered irritably. "Just clean it up."

"...Fine," I said, kneeling down next to the bodies so I could better determine how to dispose of them. "But don't do it again."

"Whatever," he scowled.

Without another word, Killua turned and began walking away. Although he seemed a little calmer compared to a few seconds ago, the air around him still remained tense.

And lonely.

In the back of my head, I heard Illumi's voice calling to me: "Killua doesn't need friends..."

Oh Killua, I thought sadly, as I watched him walk further down the hall. This is exactly why you need friends...

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