Chapter 08: Plunging into the Big, Smelly Crack! Long Time No See, Old Man!!

Written by: Dreamer of Clouds

***

Author's Note:

Okay, so... I sorta just wrote this 'cause I really wanted to. Plus, for some reason, I was really motivated to publish another chapter soon, so here it is!

Oh, and by the way, I need your guys' opinions.

So, with the way this story is going - or, at least, as far as I've planned it - I feel like there will be a lemon scene in the future. Not anytime soon, but still. I just wanted your guys' opinions on whether or not I should write a lemon or just censor it out/skip over it. Please let me know.

Message me on wattpad or leave a comment. I am open to comments/criticisms/suggestions on the topic that you may have.

Without further adieu, onwards to the chapter!! I hope you guys enjoy it!

***

So...

Everyone failed.

Including myself, which made me really sad. And pissed. And lonely. And so freakin' bipolar. I hated it, dammit!

Sorry.

Anyway, the reason Menchi had failed me was because my spices weren't "exotic" enough.

I tried to argue with her that my use of her spices of salt, pepper, soy sauce and red pepper flakes - the ones she and her partner had SPECIFICALLY picked out for our stations - represented flavors from distant lands that many people haven't encountered yet; but, she said that those flavors were more common than I thought and that I wasn't "thinking outside the box."

I mean, what kind of crap reasoning was that?!

Plus, she recommended that I use something different, something exciting - like Big Horn Bear Moss. I mean, what the hell was Big Horn Bear Moss and where the friggin' heck do you find that, anyway?!

(Me: Shout out to the 1999 version of HunterxHunter! W00t!! XD Arie: You're a dork. Me: Yeah, but I'm your dork. Arie: You're adopted... Me: ?!)

The least she could do was pass me 'cause I actually did a reasonable amount of work and preparation compared to those other dumbasses (and non-dumbass Gon). I even made the skin extra crispy so Menchi and Buhara could really get into it, too.

That alone should qualify me for the next stage!

But no.

Guess Menchi's too worried about her waistline to enjoy true cooking, I sighed irritably. That total hypocritical fatty!

"It's okay, Arie!" Leorio smacked me on the back, grinning widely. "Killua, Gon and I failed too! And by the looks of it, so did Kurapika!"

Just like Leorio said, a disgruntled and very depressed-looking Kurapika made his way over to our group.

"She said I was no better than 403..." he muttered, like a demented old lady, petting her cat. "She said I was no better than 403..."

"Ha, ha!" Leorio laughed. "Too bad for you, kid!"

"Really?" I asked him, rolling my eyes. "This, coming from the guy who just gave the judges a kiddy meal?"

"Hey now," his smile fell and he began to pout. "Don't be like that, Arie."

I rolled my eyes again, to express my irritation, and crossed my arms. "Whatever," I muttered.

Crossing my arms, I rolled my eyes again and continued to sulk. Copying my gesture, Leorio crossed his arms too and bent down slightly, so he could study my face. A couple seconds of silence passed.

"You know," he began. "I tasted your food. Took a small piece, right before you brought it up to the judges."

"And?" I mumbled.

"It was amazing!" he exclaimed. "I've never had anything like it before!"

"Shut up."

"No, I mean it." Leorio continued. "It was really good."

"Stop lying."

"But -"

"I said, stop!" I glowered.

"Okay, okay," he held his hands up in surrender, and smirked. "It was the most horrendous dish anyone could have ever cooked and you should be hung for it. Happy?"

"Nope," I replied.

"Good." He punched my arm playfully.

...

...

...

Okay, so he did make me feel a little better.

So, I punched his arm back. A little harder than necessary, but hey. That's how I show my love, you know?

"OW!" The 19-year-old baby whimpered. "That hurt!"

"The more it hurts, the more you mean to me," I grinned. "Plus, you really shouldn't hit girls. Hasn't anyone ever told you that?"

Leorio muttered something about me being on steroids and how my inhuman strength practically disqualified me as a female. I couldn't help but snicker a bit.

"Ahhh," Buhara sighed, rubbing his content belly. "That was so much food. I'm stuffed!"

"Yeah, I'm stuffed too," Menchi agreed, though for a completely different reason. Scowling like the little bitch she was, she stood up, placed her hands on her hips and scanned the entire group of applicants. "Therefore, no one passes."

"HUH?!?!" all the applicants exclaimed.

"We're finished here." She concluded.

Instantaneously, the exam site broke out in outrage. Angry shouts and gossiping whispers erupted from everywhere. People began pushing and shoving to get to Menchi, but then they began fighting with each other because the other guy wanted a first hit at her.

Talk about stupid.

"I swear to god," Killua whispered to me. "We're surrounded by idiots. All those applicants are gonna die."

I nodded. "Yeah."

While Menchi may be outnumbered, there was no doubt that she could take on all of them easy. It's like Hisoka said earlier: the ones who proctor the exams are Hunters and, in order to be given the title of a Hunter, they must possess the skills necessary for becoming one.

CRAAASSSHHH!!!

Looking over, I saw Todo had smashed his workstation with his bare fist. Splinters of steel, wood and glass flew everywhere. The pipes of the mobile sink split in half and gushed water all over him. "I won't accept it," Todo growled. "I absolutely refuse to accept this!"

"Hmph," With a raised head, Menchi continued to look down on him. "In the end, you've still failed."

"Stop screwing around!" he yelled back. "You asked for pork, so we risked our lives to -"

"I said to prepare pork in a manner that we - that Buhara and I - found delicious," Menchi interrupted, gritting her teeth.

Despite the fact that she could kill anyone at any moment, she was trying her best to keep calm and explain to these blockheads where they went wrong. (Though, I don't always agree with her reasoning >_>).

"None of you made anything remotely delicious," she continued. "You all did almost the same thing. There was no effort made. Just when I thought someone actually tried, they only changed the appearance..."

"Bullshit!" I shouted.

Beside me, Leorio, Gon and Killua all covered my mouth. I licked all of their hand - Leorio's first, since his was at the bottom; Gon's next 'cause Leorio pulled away; and Killua's last because he tried to pull his hand off before Gon did, so I grabbed it and licked it anyway.

"You're disgusting," Killua wiped my saliva off on his shirt.

"You're annoying," I replied.

"Idiot," he said.

"Dumbass."

Pouting, we all turned our attention back to the front, where the Second Phase judges were watching us carefully. When Menchi met my gaze, she cast me a meaningful look.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

"I take it back," she said. "Not all of you were complete failures. There was one person who was close to passing."

Everyone's attention turned to me.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Hisoka and Illumi watching me judiciously. As if they were somewhat surprised, but somewhat not. A small, sick smile tugged on Hisoka's lips.

I ignored him.

"However," Menchi continued. "Because she used such bland spices - spices which had no creativity at all - I had to fail her. I'm positive that - with the exception of applicant 300 - none of you took cooking seriously!"

Hanzo scoffed. "Pork dishes are all the same..."

Suddenly, Menchi and I were on the little bald bastard, smacking the shit out of him. Don't get me wrong. I'm still pissed at Menchi; but, even more so, with this shiny-head dumbass for saying something utterly stupid.

"Say that once more," Menchi grabbed Hanzo's collar and smacked him. "I dare you!"

I grabbed Hanzo from her. "You're a total loser for thinking something like that! Pork dishes are obviously not the same!!"

Menchi took him again. "Anymore crap from you, and I'll shove my arm up your ass and knock your teeth out!"

"Hey, that's my line!" I said.

"Stay out of this," she scowled. "Failure!"

"Don't call me a failure!" I replied. "You're the one with the screwed up reasoning!"

"It was NOT screwed up reasoning!"

"Yes, it was!"

"No, it wasn't!"

"Dumbass!"

"Slut!"

"Flat board!"

"Chicken butt!"

"Better than yours!"

With each flying insult, we took turns punching Hanzo in whatever area of his orifice that wasn't injured. By the time we were done with him, he had two missing teeth, a black eye and a swollen nose.

Leorio and Gon had to pull me away before I could jump on Menchi and beat the crap out of her too. With Leorio tugging on my arm, and Gon pushing on my stomach, they managed to pull me back to our stations and sit me down.

"Here, Arie," Gon said, handing me a glass of water. "This should help you."

I grudgingly took it. "Thanks."

"Now drink up," Leorio patted my shoulder.

So, I did.

Then turned my attention back to Menchi. Releasing a frustrated sigh, she sat her chicken-butt down her comfy little couch and crossed her legs. After a moment of silence, she spoke.

"In other words," she said. "You people don't have the guts to try anything new."

"Shut up!" Todo interrupted, once again. This time, he jabbed his fat sausage-sized fingers at the exam proctor. "I'm not trying to become a cook or a gourmet. I want to be a Hunter!"

Following his lead, a bunch of the applicants raised their fists up in the air as an act of rebellion. All of them began chanting: "Yeah! Yeah!!"

"My goal is to become a Black List Hunter!" Todo continued, this time gushing out his heart and soul to explain his dream. "I refuse to let a mere Gourmet Hunter decide my fate!"

In the background, several people shouted in support, as if rallying a resounding 'Amen!' While the effort was impressive, Menchi was not swayed.

"Too bad you got stuck with a mere Gourmet Hunter as an examiner," she turned her head away from Todo in disgust. "Better luck next year."

Todo's face burned bright red with rage.

"Why, you-!" he ran head-first at her. "Don't mock me!"

Buhara smacked Todo so hard, he flew up in the air, hit the roof of a turret and bounced on the ground. Had it not been for the guy's excessive pillow fat, that fall would have broken all of his bones.

"Buhara," Menchi said. "Don't interfere."

"Well," Buhara looked at his partner, pouting. "If I hadn't intervened, you would have killed him, right?"

"Probably," she replied.

Standing up from her seat, Menchi took out her weapons: two pair of deba bocho - Japanese cleaver knives.

"Let me clarify this," she began walking down the stairs and scanned the whole group of applicants again. "We frequently venture into the dens of ferocious beasts, searching for ingredients."

Tossing her cleavers up in the air, she juggled her spinning weapons with closed eyes and with ease. As much as I hated to admit it, it was a skill that was very impressive.

"Every Hunter knows some form of martial art," she explained apathetically. "You lack focus and the willingness to experiment."

Then with precision, she caught all four knives in her left hand and pointed it at everyone. "That alone disqualifies you from being Hunters!"

Another moment of silence.

Everyone kept their gaze low on the ground, as they thought seriously about Menchi's reasoning for the very first time.

"That said," a very loud, and very speaker-ized voice spoke from the heavens and down to us. "It would be excessive to fail every single applicant."

My eyes widened.

Wait a minute, I thought, I know that voice!!

Raising my head, I watched the sky as a humongous blimp slowly flew over the exam site. Big, blue and covered with shark designs, the blimp had the insignia of the Hunter Association painted on its side.

Which could only mean one thing.

Jumping on to my feet, I felt freakishly excited and pumped up. Like the Energizer Bunny came around the corner and shocked all the laziness out of me.

Which was saying something, 'cause I usually preferred being lazy.

"He's here!" I grinned happily. "I can't believe it - he's here!!"

Beside me, Leorio raised his eyebrow. "Who's here?"

"Him!" I pointed to the blimp.

A person jumped from the blimp and fell to the ground. As soon as he made impact, a cloud of dust, rocks and other debris flew up in the air and momentarily blinded anyone. All around, people were coughing and hacking out their lungs.

"Gah!" Leorio whimpered like a baby, "My eyes, my eyes!"

"Suck it up," Kurapika muttered, though I could tell he was having difficulties with the dust too. "It's not that bad."

"Arie, help me!" Leorio said.

I ignored him.

Not trying to be a mean friend or anything. I was just too focused on what was going on in front of everyone.

The dust was finally settling.

My vision starting to improve, I caught sight of him.

Netero.

Wearing his usual clothes - modernized white hakama with blue linings - the old man walked through the chaos and debris, as if it were nothing. The earth crumbled beneath his feet. His grey-tipped beard and white ponytail flowing in the breeze, he looked every bit of kick ass like always.

Somewhere near me, Hanzo gaped. "Who's that old geezer?"

I glared at him.

He cowered in fear.

Menchi, on the other hand, stepped closer to the old man and acknowledged him immediately.

"This," she began respectfully, "is the Chairman of the Selection Committee. He's in charge of the Hunter Exam. Chairman Netero."

"Well," Netero said humbly. "I work from behind the scenes. I only take action when there's an issue. Like now."

I couldn't help but squeal in delight.

Yeah! I thought, punching the air excitedly. You go tell her, old man!!

Beside me, I heard Leorio whisper to Killua, and the rest of our group. "Is she okay? She's acting really weird."

Kurapika and Gon shrugged; whereas, Killua rolled her eyes.

"She's always like that," he said.

"Really?" Leorio asked.

Killua nodded. "I practically live with her."

Again, I continued to ignore them and focused my attention on Netero and the overly-judgemental lady. Netero gave her a significant look.

"So, Menchi..." he said.

"Yes." She replied, attentive.

"You failed all of the applicants," he said slowly. "Because you disapprove of their reluctance to try new things?"

I could've sworn his eyes had migrated from Menchi's face to her boobage. I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

So, that's why he hired her, I thought.

Typical.

"No," Menchi shook her head, apologetically. "I lost my cool when one the applicants had insulted Gourmet Hunters. And I made the exam harder than necessary."

"In other words," Netero continued. "You are aware that this exam was unacceptable."

"Yes, sir," she said. "When cooking is involved, I lose control. I'm unqualified to be an examiner; therefore, I will resign."

She bowed deeply. "Please redo the Second Phase!"

"Hmm..." Netero grunted in disapproval. "It would be difficult to find another examiner in such short notice."

Menchi bowed even lower. "I apologize."

"Very well," the old man raised a finger suggestively. "How about this? I would like you to continue serving as an examiner - but you must also participate in the new test you propose."

Her eyes widened with surprise. "What?"

"Is that acceptable?" Netero asked. "I'm certain that will help the applicants accept the results."

"That's true..." she said.

Slowly, but surely, a great, big grin plastered itself on Menchi's face, as if she had suddenly come up with a new test.

"In that case," she stared at the old man with happily beaming eyes. "The new challenge will be boiled eggs!"

All around, people began whispering: "Boiled eggs?"

Don't tell me, I sighed irritably. They don't know what boiled eggs are?

As if to confirm my thoughts, the same guy who was walking around the woods earlier, asking other applicants if they carried pig's meat in their pockets, is now asking if anyone had any boiled eggs in their bags.

"How is boiled eggs a challenge?" Leorio whispered. "It's not that hard."

"Oh, you'd be surprised." I punched his arm again.

"Ow!" he rubbed his newly sore spot. "Now, what was that for?!"

"Jinxing us," I replied.

"Jerk."

"Your jerk."

"Shut up."

"Chairman!" Menchi said, grabbing everyone's attention again. "Can you take us to Mt. Split-in-Half in your airship?"

"Mt. Split-in-Half?" Netero's eyes gleamed proudly. "I see what you're doing. And I most certainly can."

***

We're all staring at the crack.

The very big, very deep, very dark, very smelly crack.

And I was very tempted to push someone down there, just to see how far away from the ground we really were.

I glanced over at Hisoka.

As if reading my thoughts, the 27-year-old turned and gave a creepy, ominous smile. Like he was saying, Go ahead and try me.

For some reason, I feel like there was a sexual innuendo hidden in there.

I shivered.

"You okay?" Gon asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You're not afraid of heights, are you, Arie?"

"Nope," I shook my head and smiled. "Just thinking about something."

"Okay," he responded.

"Now, everyone," Menchi pointed to the center of the smelly crack. "Look down there."

A soft, but firm breeze began blowing the fog from between the mountain. With the air cleared, we saw several white ropes stretching from our side to the other side. Some of the thicker ropes, however, had several strands hanging down and bunching up in little sacks.

Wait a minute.

Those aren't ropes, I thought.

Behind me, someone gasped. "W-what's that?"

"That," Menchi answered with a big grin. "Is a Spider Eagle's web!"

Thought so, I watched the surrounding area carefully. From what I could tell, none of the Big Mama Birdies were around to beat the shit out of us.

Which was a good sign.

Means they're probably out hunting and won't be back for a while.

"Wow," Gon stared at the web in awe. "They build webs down there?"

All of a sudden, a strong gust of wind blew upwards from the bottom of the cavern. So strong, in fact, Todo was forced back from the ledge and onto his bottom.

"Look below the web," Menchi redirected everyone's attention. "Do you see that?"

Everyone turned on their brain power - some more than others - and focused under the hidden wonders of the spider web. It didn't take long for us to realize that the hanging sacs were actually groups of unhatched babies.

"Those," Menchi said. "Are Spider-Eagle Eggs."

"Spider-Eagles build their webs in deep ravines to protect their eggs from predators." Netero walked up to the edge and joined the Hunter applicants. "This makes their eggs one of the most difficult ingredients to obtain. They are also called Dream Eggs."

"Sounds like fun," I said, grinning.

"R-really?" Leorio stammered, eyeing the deep crack. "You know, you sound suicidal when you talk like that."

"You enjoy it," I winked.

"Obtain?!" Somewhere nearby, Todo's eyes popped out his sockets. "You - you don't me we -?"

Menchi smirked. "I sure do."

And then she jumped.

No parachute, no safety net, no fear. Just pure balls of steel. And for a moment, I actually found new respect for her.

Guess she's not so bad, I thought.

Aiming for the thickest web strand she could find, Menchi grabbed hold of it, flipped up in the air, and spun around the strand several times until her momentum slowed and she just hung there.

"UWAAH!!" Several big boys wet their pants. "That's impossible!!"

See, this is why you don't make fun of Hunters, I gloated a little inside. Any type of Hunter, including Gourmet Hunters.

I turned my attention back to Menchi. Beside me, Leorio gulped nervously. "Even if she can grab some eggs, how will she climb back up?"

Gon, Killua and Kurapika all nodded thoughtfully.

Menchi let go of the web.

Everyone gasped, both in fear and in anticipation. Todo even went as far as to cover his face with the back of his hand, so he wouldn't be able to see her supposed death.

Very easily, Menchi had latched on to an egg, yanked it down, and fell gracefully to the bottom of the mountain.

"HEY!" Leorio grabbed hold of my shoulders and shook me. "She jumped down, Arie! She jumped down!! Is she trying to kill herself?!?!"

I punched his swollen cheek.

"Argh!" he said, squealing. Grabbing hold of the tender spot, he began massaging it. "You're such a sadist, you know?!"

"For you, darling? Just a bit." Shaking my hand out, I ran it through my hair and pointed towards the bottom of the chasm. "Menchi is okay."

"Yeah," Kurapika nodded. "Arie's right."

I blinked, surprised. He just...agreed with me...

Ew.

I feel gross now.

A strong gust of wind started up again.

Everyone - except Kurapika, Netero and me - gaped in wonder as Menchi was carried up to the top of the mountain, all safe and sound. She stuck her tongue out playfully.

"Eh..." Killua said in awe. "That looks fun!"

"Definitely!" Gon grinned.

"This ravine has updrafts," Netero explained, barely able to keep the smile off his face. "It helps the hatched chicks fly up to the web."

Within seconds, Menchi landed on the ground and held up her delicious prize. "There," she grinned. "Now, all I need to do is just boil the egg!"

I smirked. "Seems easy enough."

Todo began sweating profusely.

"Y-you've got to be kidding," he protested. "No reasonable person would jump down there..."

Speaking of which...

"All right!" Gon exclaimed. "I've been waiting for this!!"

Setting his backpack down, Gon grabbed Killua and Kurapika by the wrist and leaped off the edge eagerly - with Gon spread-eagle, Kurapika stuck in a jumping pose and Killua being a badass with his hands in his pockets.

"W-wait!" Leorio held his hand out to chase after them. "At least let me set my briefcase down!"

"Too late," I said.

I smacked his hand, making him quickly drop the briefcase to the ground, picked him up by the shirt and pants and threw him over.

He squealed like a piggy.

"ARIEEEE!!" He shouted. "I HATE YOUUUU!"

"NO, YOU DON'T!!" I peered over the edge and waved to him. "YOU NEEDED THE PUSH, ANYWAY!!"

"JERK!"

Chuckling, I leaned back and crossed my arms contently.

It shouldn't take too long for them, I thought happily. Updrafts are very common in mountains like these. Plus, with talented people like them - yes, including Kurapika - they should have no trouble with this challenge at all.

"Okay!" Bald-o Hanzo pumped his fist in the air. "Count me in!"

And with that, he took off with a running start and sprung off the edge, like some crazed, insane rabbit. Not long after, about fifty other applicants chased after their dumbass ninja hero and leapt off the ground, as well.

"Ah, wait!" I said, trying to stop them. "Don't go -"

One guy shoved me away violently.

"Move out of the way, girlie!" he said arrogantly. "There's no way I'm not going to pass this exam because of you!"

"But-!"

"I said move!" And he drove his fat-ass off the face of the earth.

I growled. I hope you die...

Best part was - the wish came true. That same guy tripped on a rock that was protruding from the rim of the ridge, screamed and fell to his death in an ungodly manner.

Serves him right.

Sighing, I looked around.

The only ones on the mountain top were a handful of random applicants, Netero, Menchi, Todo and me.

Almost all of the Hunter wanna-be's had gone off bungee-gliding, without any real direction or plan on how to succeed in their challenge. It was a little frustrating, honestly.

"You've got to be kidding me," I face-palmed myself. "A lot of the applicants this year are complete dumbasses."

"Tell me about it," Menchi said, walking up to me. She tossed the egg up in the air and expertly caught it, multiple times.

I watched her warily.

She laughed.

"Don't worry," she assured me. "I'm not gonna be terrible, like I was at the cooking site. I'm a lot nicer than you think."

"Really?" I asked. "How come I don't believe that?"

"Because I was a big jerk to you?" Menchi said, flashing me a sheepish smile. "Look, I really didn't mean all the things I said back there. I actually liked your cooking."

I relaxed my guard a bit.

"It's just like I explained," she continued. "I was just frustrated at the people who showed no respect for Gourmet Hunters."

"Same here," I muttered.

"Is that why you helped me beat up that annoying ninja applicant?" she asked, tilting her head curiously.

"I guess you could think of it like that," I shrugged. "It was more for my benefit. He's just been getting on my nerves since the exam began."

Menchi stared at me for a bit.

"You know," she said. "You're a pretty bad liar."

"Only when I want to be," I flashed her a lopsided smile. "It's easier than trying to be gushy and sweet all the time."

"I like you," she grinned.

"Same."

"You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot." Chuckling, Menchi caught her egg and held it with her arm. With a great big smile, she stuck out her free hand. "We deserve a do-over, don't you think?"

"Why not?" Lazily, I grabbed her hand and shook it.

"I'm Menchi," she re-introduced herself. "Single Star Gourmet Hunter extraordinaire."

"Kadan," I replied. "Arie Kadan, daughter of Sol Kadan."

She let out a low whistle.

"Wow," she said, clearly impressed. "That's rare. We usually don't see your type hanging out in our area."

I remained silent, though Menchi didn't seem to be offended by that. Guess she didn't know what type of response she'd get out of me, too.

For the most part, the Kadans - and other vigilante groups - stayed away from any elite-members-of-humanity promoting groups, i.e. Hunters Association. Some time back then, there had been cases reported of minor vigilante groups to trying to justify their criminal behavior with the use of their Hunter license, and there were several trials, and several murders and...

I don't know.

It was a dark part of our history.

I don't really want to talk about it very much.

After a few seconds, Menchi decided to drop the topic and change into something lighter. "So," she began. "Mind telling me what you're doing here?" she asked.

"Nothing much, really," I explained. "Just looking after my brat of a brother."

I pointed towards the center of the Hunter bunch, where the 12-year-old white-haired Zoldyck was 'hanging out' with his friends.

(Me: Haha, get it? Hanging out?! Cause they're hanging on to their dear lives?? XD Arie: I can't believe you're making me say the things I say... Me: You like it >w> Arie: No, not really. Me: Stop lying! Arie: ***-________-)

"See him?" I asked.

"Yeah," she nodded, before crossing her arms thoughtfully. "To be honest, when I first saw you with him, I thought you guys hated each other."

"Well, I don't blame you," I said, smiling a bit. "Our daily conversations are literally made up of kicking, punching and throwing insults at each other."

"Sounds troublesome, though," she said.

"But he's worth it," I replied.

"Aww," Menchi gushed, like a little gushy girl. "I knew you had a soft spot there in there somewhere...!"

"You tell him, I'll kill you."

"Have fun trying," she stuck her tongue out and flicked me on the forehead. "I can totally kick your ass, any day."

"We'll see about that," I said nonchalantly, though seriously considering her challenge. Turning my attention back to the opening in the mountain, I scanned the groups.

So did Menchi.

"There's not that many of them left," she said.

Most of the applicants had fallen from the web strands they were holding, either due to fear or stupidity. For most of them, I'd say it was both.

"Aren't you going?" she asked.

"Yup," I nodded. "As soon as most of them come up here. I don't want to be stupid like that bald ninja and be the reason a bunch of people to fall to their deaths 'cause they're too freakin' fat and weigh the web strands down."

"Oh my gosh," She laughed. "You're funny."

Tossing the Spider Eagle Egg up and down again, Menchi turned and began walking away. "Make sure you go in there soon," she said. "Otherwise, all the good eggs will be gone."

"Okay," I nodded.

"And Arie?" Menchi said, once again.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Keep in touch," she said. "I am serious about having that match with you!"

"Sure," I replied, though this time with a smile. "Sounds good."

And then she began walking away. In the distance, I saw my old man Netero watch me with a close-eyed smile. How the hell that worked, I didn't know; but, hey - it was sweet that he was watching out for me.

I waved a little to him, before turning my attention back to the crack.

More applicants fell.

Again, typical.

Dumbasses, I sighed internally. They should know by now that there isn't always an updraft.

By the looks of it, Kurapika and Leorio were starting to panic a bit. Killua and Gon, on the other hand, were completely calm and analytical about the situation.

It wasn't long before I heard Gon yell, "Now!"

Simultaneously, Leorio, Kurapika, Killua and Gon let go of their web strand, latched on to their eggs, and sailed down the crevasse. All the remaining applicants - the smart, but cheating applicants - followed suit and caught their eggs as well.

In no time, a strong gust of wind rushed up.

Dozens and dozens of people floated to the top with ease and landed on their feet, successful. Likewise, there were dozens who didn't make it to the edge on time or didn't know how to propel themselves to the edge on time and fell back down to their deaths at the bottom of the mountain.

Thankfully though, my friends made it just fine.

Gon was the first to run up to me.

"Arie, Arie, Arie!!" the tiny 12-year-old was practically bursting with joy. "Look, I got one! I got an egg!"

"Aw," I gushed, grabbing his adorable cheek fats and pinching it lovingly. "That's great, Gon! I knew you could do it!"

"Stop it," Killua rolled his eyes. "You're embarrassing."

"Not as embarrassing as I will be to you," I said, instantaneously letting Gon go and chasing after my future brother-in-law. "Come here and give big sissy a hug!"

"AGH!" Killua tensed up and ran away. "No!"

"Don't be a big baby now," I bubbled in a nearly pedophilic way. "You know you want a congratulatory hug from me!"

"No, I don't!" he yelled.

"Yes, you do!" I replied.

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!" I insisted. "Come here!"

"Oh Hell, no!"

Slowing down enough to let him escape my grasp, I pretend-grabbed Killua and made smooch-y faces. He slipped away easily and hid behind Gon, and waved him around like some human meat shield.

"Stay away from me, Arie!" Killua threatened. "I mean it!"

Their faces were completely priceless - Gon's for being lost, and Killua for being scared the shit out of. Stopping in my tracks, I clutched my stomach and laughed.

God, I really do adore both of them.

"Oi, Arie!" a voice called out.

Turning around, I saw it was Menchi waving for me to come over. Nodding goodbye to Gon and Killua, I lightly jogged over to my newly-made friend and smiled.

"What's up?" I asked.

"It's your turn to jump," she gestured towards the mountain crack. "The applicants from the first group - or at least, the ones who survived - all came back, and it's safe for you to go."

"Okay," I nodded, before looking around. "What about the others, though?"

"What others?" She asked.

"Todo and stuff," I gestured to the small group of outcasts, who looked sullen and defeated. "Aren't they going to try?"

"No," She shook her head. "I already asked them and they refused; therefore, they're disqualified from the Hunter exam."

"So, I'm the only one then?" I raised an eyebrow. "That sucks."

"Not really," she replied. "I know you'll do fine."

"Oh, I know I will," I said. "It just feels really awkward to be the last one and have everyone watching you, like you're some freak show event."

"Well," Menchi smirked. "Ever think it's just a certain part of you they're watching?"

She gestured way too suggestively at my oversized, puffy rack. The nearest person who, unfortunately, was Geretta, happened to notice and oogled them creepily. I crossed my arms so I could cover my boom-booms, and glared at Menchi.

"You're a pervert," I said, glaring a bit. "A busty, little jealous pervert."

"While that may be true," She laughed appreciatively at my crude humor and pointed towards the ridge. "You should go on and get your egg. I'll be instructing the people on how to boil theirs."

She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.

I couldn't blame her.

After watching the demonstration of the applicant's cooking abilities earlier, it was clear that someone needed to hold their hands and walk them through the scenario, one little baby-step at a time.

"I'm assuming you can handle this on your own?" she smiled. "Jumping off and getting back up here, I mean."

"Yeah," I nodded. "Easy-peasy."

"In that case," Menchi gave me two-thumbs up. "Hurry up and get your stuff. I'll be waiting for you!"

"Okay."

She dashed off to the group of Hunter applicants, who were gathered around the big boiling pot that had somehow mysteriously appeared while I was looking away. At the very front of the group, Gon, Killua, Kurapika and Leorio were hunched over the pot, eagerly waiting.

Not too far away from them, Illumi was watching Killua with a very careful gaze. It actually made my heart flutter to see him acting like that, all sweet and caring.

I smiled widely.

And then I scowled.

Hisoka was standing at the very back of the Hunter-wannabe-squad. Arms crossed and leaning to one side, he looked every bit of a creepy, muscular stalker...

Oh my god, I shook my head furiously. Did I really just notice his muscles?! Of all the freakin' things I could've noticed about him, and I noticed his muscles?!

I stole another glance at Hisoka and blushed immediately.

In the mid-afternoon sunlight, Hisoka looked completely different. With a healthier lightly-tanned skin tone, his bulging arms rippled. And his very stony abs pressed up against his superbly-tight shirt.

You're just hallucinating, Arie, I told myself. His muscles aren't all that great. They aren't. Illumi's are better...

Right?

I glanced over at Illumi.

He had a terrible tan that made him look burnt and had numerous pins stuck inside his body. Not only that, he was fairly scrawny too. Very thin and scrawny.

Dammit, I groaned. Why you gotta be in a disguise right now, Illumi?! I need you!

Shaking my head profusely, as if that would somehow brain-damage me enough to forget my thoughts, I redirected my attention to my exam. Focus, I told myself. Forget them for now and focus...

And with that final thought, I ran and leapt off the edge.

Just like every else, I followed the procedure: I hung on, I waited, I grabbed an egg, I fell down and I rode the updraft. Like I said to Menchi, easy-peasy, lemon-squeeze-y.

In no time, I also managed to cook the egg and joined my friends for the feast. Gon and Killua talked, Kurapika ate happily, and Leorio told me repetitive - yet entertaining - renditions of his experience in Mt. Split-in-Half's free fall.

It stayed like that for a while, until I saw Gon walk over to Todo and hand over a big portion of his Spider Eagle Egg to him. The 30-year-old man hesitantly accepted his gift and took a bite out of it.

Almost instantaneously, he began tearing up.

To which, Gon threw his arms up in the air and smiled.

I couldn't help but do the same. The kid's smile was just so damn infectious. You had to be heartless not to fall in love with it.

"Oi, fatty," Killua said, dragging me out of my awe. "What the heck are you smiling at?"

"Your friend," I replied, not taking my eyes off of Gon. "He seems like a really good influence on you, don't you think?"

"...Yeah," Killua nodded. "He is."

...

Wait.

What?!

Snapping out of my daze, I turned my attention over to Killua, who was watching Gon with very, I don't know...different eyes. Did he just compliment someone?

I was pretty sure he did.

"Hey, Killua," Crouching down to his height, I nudged his shoulder a bit with my Spider Eagle Egg. "Seems like you're close friends with Gon, aren't you?"

"Hmm?" He said, though I doubt he was really listening. "What was that?"

"I said, it seems like you're really close with Gon," I repeated once more. "Do you like him?"

Aside from Canary, that tiny girl who stands guard at Zoldyck manor, Killua didn't really have anyone around his age to play with. If anything, I was the closest thing he had to a playmate, what with my babyish attitude and messing around.

But still...

It was nothing compared to this.

This was the first time I've ever seen Killua so relaxed and so...well, normal. It was weird. A good kind of weird, though.

I ruffled Killua's hair.

Bad move.

The kid tensed up and shivered, as if I had just poured a bucket of ice cold water over him. Immediately, he smacked my hand away and threw his Spider Eagle Egg.

Right at my face.

It was like slow-motion. The white, gooey liquid had spilled out of the shell, splashing the tip of my nose, streaming up and down the ridges of its sides, with part of the liquid seeping into my skin and the other part sliding off my face.

Bits and pieces of the eggshell flew into my hair and embedded itself in between each strand, making it a big pain in the ass to take care of later.

Killua scoffed.

"Don't touch me, fatty," he said. "It's creepy."

With the flat of my palm, I scrapped the wasted parts of the Dream Egg off my face and flung it to the ground. And then, I began chasing Killua, trying to run his ass over while I was on my menstrual-cycle. (Haha, no, not really. But my mood swings and anger felt comparable to that time of the month).

It wasn't long before Killua ran around Leorio and hid behind the tall 19-year-old. "Woah, hey!!" Leorio shouted. "What the heck do you think you're doing?!"

"Protecting myself," the little brat responded. "Deal with it."

"Why you-!"

"Killua!" I growled, waving my Spider Eagle Egg in one hand and deadly Jack in the other. "I swear on my life, you're going to stop wasting food if it's the last thing I do! You hear me?!"

And that's when he did it.

Killua shoved Leorio forward and tripped him. As Leorio was stumbling down, Killua climbed on to his back, grabbed Leorio's hand that held the Spider Eagle Egg and directed it so it would smack against my approaching cleavage.

Good thing Leorio saw it coming.

He twisted his body - very badly - at an angle so that the scenario wouldn't happen and my boobies would remain safe. However, in doing so, he lost his grip on his Dream Egg and it flew into the air.

Only to fall down Mt. Split-in-Half's big-ass crack.

"Ah, shoot," Killua cursed, before scratching his head and bowing to the devastated Leorio apologetically. "Sorry about that, Leorio."

"Baka!" I scowled, smacking the child upside the head. "Look at what you did!"

"I didn't mean for it to happen!" Killua argued. "It was an accident!!"

"I know, but still!" I huffed. "You should be more careful around people! He worked hard to get that egg!"

As if our screeching brought him out of his shocked state, Leorio sadly reached out, towards the mountain edge, with his hand. "My...my egg..." he mourned. "My Dream Egg..."

I could tell Leorio was on the verge of balling up and man-crying about it. So, I had to figure something out.

And soon.

"Um, ah..." I looked around for something to cheer him up. "Let's see, why don't we-?"

"My Dream Egg," Leorio muttered yet again. "My poor Dream Egg..."

"Leorio?" I tried my best to smile. "Are you okay?"

Dumb question to ask.

Heavy, man-tears began streaming out form his eyes as he was finally hit with the harsh reality that his Dream Egg would never come back to him. "My Dream Egg," he wailed, "It fell down the and - and -"

"L-Leorio, stop!"

"But it fell!"

"Don't worry -"

"WAHHH!"

Panicking, I did the only thing that came to mind: I shoved my Dream Egg into his mouth. Instantaneously, he shut up. Probably because he was choking from it.

Oh well.

As long as he stopped crying.

Leorio grabbed my arm with both his hands and pulled it away. Egg fluids were splattered all over his face, making him look like a messy grown toddler. Gulping down the contents in his mouth, he scowled.

"What the hell?" he asked, obviously enraged. "Why did you do that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you were crying."

"Didn't mean you needed to shove it down my throat!"

"Of course it did," I said, trying to smash the egg on his face again.

He dodged it. "Stop!"

"No!"

"You're gonna make me choke again!"

"That's what she said!"

Leorio's eye twitched.

I burst out laughing.

Then, with his face completely red from anger, Leorio face-palmed himself, grabbed the egg from my hand and broke it in half. He handed me my portion and began eating his silently.

"Thanks," I said.

"Yeah," he muttered. "You're..."

I couldn't exactly make out what he was saying; but, I realized it probably wasn't meant to be heard anyway, so I let it go. Scooting closer to the 19-year-old, I munched on my Dream Egg and watched the rest of the Hunter applicants celebrate in their own way.

Overall, I had a good time.

***

After clearing the Second Phase of the exam, everyone boarded the Hunter Association blimp and gathered in its Grand Hall. Scanning the area, I saw that the room could easily fit 150 people. But, as far as our group went, it looked like only 42 applicants made it.

Standing at the front of the group, I turned my attention to two of my most favorite people: Isaac Netero and his darling assistant, Beans.

With a great smile, my old man raised his head.

"Allow me to introduce myself to the forty-two remaining applicants," the white-haired Hunter said. "I am Netero, Chairman of this year's Hunter Exam Selection Committee."

"And I am his secretary," the cool jelly man said. "My name is Beans."

Beside me, I heard Killua scoff.

"Netero and Beans?" he whispered under his breath. "Now, what kind of messed-up names are those?"

I elbowed the little brat, which got me an 'ow!' out of him. Rubbing his shoulder, Killua shot me a nasty glare and silently - and grumpily - turned his attention back to the front.

"Originally," Netero began. "I'd planned to make my appearance during the exam's final phase, but as I'm already here..."

He let his words sink in.

Tense silence filled the room, as he watched each and every one of us. Trying to see if we were nervous, anxious, or ready to bust open any heads. Probably all of the above.

Momentarily, we met each other's gaze.

I smiled, barely able to contain my excitement. So did Netero.

"Oh my," With a mischievous grin, Netero narrowed his eyes. "I'm loving this tension in the air! So, I think I'll stick around for the rest of the trip."

"We are scheduled to arrive at our destination tomorrow morning at 8 AM," Beans explained happily. "You'll find dinner waiting in the dining hall. You are also welcome to get some rest."

Gesturing to the clock so we could make note of time, Beans continued.

"In other words," he said. "You're free to do as you please until you are contacted."

Instantaneously, a big grin spread across Killua's face.

"Okay, Gon!" Killua said, his boredom replaced with a burst of energy. "Let's go explore the airship!"

Gon nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah!"

And then they dashed off.

Following behind them, the applicants filed out of the room to do whatever the heck it was that they did. Whether it was sharpening blades, or working on their game faces in the mirror, I didn't really care.

Sighing, I crossed my arms. It's been a long day...

"Oh my god, yes!" Running up to me, Leorio tugged on my arm and waved it around like an excited kid who had just discovered a gigantic chest of tasty candies. "Food and a bed! I feel like it's been so long since I've heard those words! I can't wait!!"

Kurapika nodded. "I agree."

"In that case," Leorio started dragging both of us out the door. "Let's go!!"

"Actually," I wiggled out of Leorio's grasp and smiled apologetically. "You guys can go ahead. I sort of want to stay here for a bit. Enjoy the view, you know."

I gestured towards the windows, which displayed a beautiful, starry night. Peaceful, calm, serene, it was exactly what my mind needed after a long day of physical wear.

Crossing his arms, Leorio frowned, completely concerned.

"You sure?" Leorio asked, raising an eyebrow. "If you want, we can stay -"

I shook my head. "No, I'll be fine."

"But-"

"Let's go, Leorio," Kurapika said, surprising Leorio and me. "Arie needs rest, and she has her own way of doing it. Likewise, we need ours too."

Taken aback, Leorio slowly nodded. "O..kay...?"

"Come on," the 16-year-old Kurta muttered, before turning on his heel and walking away. "You do want food, don't you?"

It wasn't long before Leorio followed suit and dashed out the door, yelling something stupid, like, "Burgers and fries, here I come!!" I shook my head, laugh quietly. Oh, he's always so amusing...

Looking around, I saw almost everyone had gone.

Almost.

Netero and I were the only ones in the room. Leaning on the railing near the windows, Netero stood with his back to me. And although he couldn't see me, he could tell I was there. I walked over to him, arms crossed, and gazed at the clear, crystal sky.

Netero pointed to the stars. "Beautiful, aren't they?" he asked.

I rolled my eyes. "That's so cliché."

"Oh my," The old man couldn't help but laugh. "You still haven't changed."

"Nope," I grinned.

"Come here," Netero held his arm out so he could embrace me. "Give your old man a hug. I missed you."

Unfolding my arms, I slid one around his waist and pulled him close. Burying my head on his chest, I sighed happily.

"Missed you too, Grandpa."