Chapter 06: Dirty Swamp, Dirty Thoughts

Written by: DreamerofClouds

* * *

Author's Note:

To my dear readers,

First of all, I want to personally thank you guys for being patient with me. I am finally done with my college - yes, I am in college - exams for the semester. Then, I have six weeks until I have summer classes. Yays - not really. But I will write as much as I can until then, darlings <3

Second off, I wanted to let you guys know I made this chapter SUPER-DUPER-UBER long (that's what she said ;P) to make up for the fact that I've been on hiatus. So, I hope you guys aren't too angry, haha.

Third off, just because I want to rant - I finally got my test scores back for my pharmacy tech exam. The passing score is 1400. My score was - and I kid you not - 1392!!! Now, how friggin' cheap is that?!?! (Sorry, just wanted to let you guys know how pissed off I am) T_T

And finally, as a special thanks to my sister, I want to give a shout out to one of her friends, Elizabeth. Yeah, I know you. I'm stalker like that, lolz. Naw, just kidding. Just wanted to thank you for looking after my sis when I'm not around, so hope you feel special today <3

Anyway, enough of me ranting. Onward to sexy Hisoka-ness :))

Sincerely,

Dreamer of Clouds

***

So...

I met Kurapika.

He's an average height boy of 17 years old, with medium-length blonde hair and brown eyes. He seems like a pretty nice kid - smart, sharp, and strong. The type

I like to hang around with. You know...until he started stripping in front of me. (Yeah, my virgin eyes will forever be scarred 'cause of this jailbait).

As I kicked Leorio's ass and forced him to run faster, we approached Kurapika.

At that point, Kurapika was sweating body fluids by the bucket so he reached up to his shoulders, pulled off his orange-lined blue tabard and threw it behind him.

It would've smacked me in the face had I not yanked Leorio by the tie and put his face in the line of fire.

It hit him square on.

I laughed.

He cursed.

"What the hell?!" He growled, balling up the sweat-soaked tabard and flinging it behind us. It hit another poor, unfortunate soul. "Can you stop bullying me?!?!"

"I can," I smirked. "But I like you too much to do that."

The scowl on his face deepened. "What kind of lame excuse is that?!"

"Not an excuse," I explained. "Just my reasoning."

Another sneer worked its way out of Leorio before I heard him whisper to himself, "What kind of messed up tree did you fall from?"

A scary, mafia-studded tree, I thought smugly.

"Anyway," I said, shrugging and trying to get off the topic. "Why don't you introduce me to Kurapika? That's him, right?"

I jutted my chin toward the blondie.

"Yeah, I guess," he said, his eyebrows knit together.

Suddenly, he had a serious look on his face, one I haven't seen before, which made me curious.

Like he was thinking about something deep.

Personal.

Intimate.

Then he reached for his jacket and shirt, tore it open and freed himself like a dim-witted butterfly. The top hit the same poor, unfortunate soul from before. Which would've made me laugh, had I not been blinded by Leorio's badly-toned abs.

"YOSH!" he said, bursting forth with renewed energy." LET'S GO!!"

***

A couple more hours passed by, before I noticed that one-eighth of the competition has dropped out.

Bull was long gone.

So was Nicole, that creepy tech-laptop kid.

Even the guy who tried to cop a feel of my bouncy lady puffs had mysteriously disappeared. (Not really. He was more or less tacked on to the concrete wall with metal Jacks that looked - coincidentally - like mine).

In any case, the exam carried on. As far as I can tell, the only ones who had made it were the ones who had a lot of stamina, skill or both. That is, of course, counting out Tonpa.

Somehow that MOFO survived.

Then again, being a veteran of the Hunter Exam for 36 years, I really shouldn't be surprised.

Anyway, I found out more about Leorio's and Kurapika's background. Leorio's main motive to pass the Hunter exam was to earn money and go through medical school; which, admittedly, warmed my heart and made me sweet on the guy.

So, I picked on him more.

Kurapika, on the other hand, was more of the cool-headed person who hates human interaction. He was way too guarded, way too distrustful. It actually pissed me off. I mean, honestly. You'd think the kid would lighten up, what with him being surrounded by Gon and Leorio; but then again, I guess I couldn't exactly blame him, what with his whole clan assassinated and all.

"YO, FATTY!!" A very bratty voice called out to me. "Move your big butt!!"

Before I knew it, that little grumpy-ass Killua had put his foot on my back and bent me over, giving him a perfect platform to crouch down and leap off so he could do his super-cool front flip for all his tiny, little friends.

I know.

That jerk.

Why that little - !!

Beside me, I felt two small yet strong hands gently grasp my wrist and pull me back into an upright position. Looking down, I saw that it was Gon, the little sweet heart I met earlier. A heart-warming smile quickly worked its way at the corner of my lips.

"Thanks, kid," I said, patting him on the head.

"No problem!" he chirped, quite happily.

It was then I turned to glare at Killua and attempted to slap him upside the head.

He ducked. "Missed me."

"Shut up, brat!" I scowled.

Shaking his head, he stuck out his tongue. "I told you to move it."

"Ne, Killua," Gon said, speeding up a bit to match the Zoldyck's pace. "You really should be careful where you land. You could hurt people."

For a very brief moment, I thought I saw Killua blush.

"...Whatever," he said, pouting. "You're just afraid you're gonna lose."

"Not really," Gon said. "But I'll see you at the finish line!"

"Don't forget," Killua suddenly took bigger leaps up the steps. "Loser has to buy the other one dinner!"

"I know!" Gon replied, somehow catching up to him. But before he left us completely in the dust, he turned around and waved. "See you guys there too!!"

And then, he was gone.

(Me: Haha, get it? And then Gon was gone?! XD Arie: You're a sad, sad person... Me: But you're part of me!! >w> Arie: ...Ew >____________>)

Beside me, Leorio blinked. "What was that about?"

"Don't know," I shrugged. "Sounds like they made a bet and're racing for it. What do you think, Kurapika?"

"I guess," the blonde Kurta said, not looking the least bit interested. "I don't really know them all that well."

"I know, but it seems like you guys get along." I responded.

"He's your brother, isn't he?" Kurapika raised an ever-so-curious eyebrow. "Shouldn't you know him better than me?"

My eyes widened. "Who said he was my brother?"

Leorio mirrored the shocked expression on my face. "He's not?!"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Well, we just assumed that, since you and the kid get along so well, you two might be siblings," Leorio responded. "You even have that authentic love-hate relationship!"

"So do we," I pointed out, cleverly. "Does that make us siblings?"

"Oh god, no!" His face became completely pale. "I wouldn't be able to stand you!"

I smirked. "Love you too, dork."

"In any case," Kurapika interrupted, drawing our attention back to him before I gave Leorio another annoyance attack. "You two seem pretty close. Any chance you know him outside the Hunter Exam?"

"Yup," I nodded. "He's my fiancé's brother."

At that moment, both of their jaws dropped. If ever there was a sight that looked hilarious but, at the same time, really freaky, this was it.

"WHAT?!" they both shouted simultaneously. "YOUR FIANCE'S BROTHER?!"

I rolled my eyes. "Why is that so surprising?"

"Because!" Leorio exclaimed. "You're only sixteen and you already have a fiancé!"

Kurapika nodded. "That's not right."

As I smiled, a small stress-mark throbbed from the corner of my head. "Now, who the hell said I was sixteen?"

"You're - ?!"

"Twenty three," I said, cutting them off before the two nit-wits could stare at me with indignation and make me feel like a bloated fish with a pimple on its forehead.

"I've been engaged to Killua's brother for a couple of years now," I added.

"Originally, we're supposed to get married at the beginning of next year; however, due to me wanting my freedom and his 'density,' the wedding has been moved four years from now, when I'm twenty seven."

Complete silence.

And then...

"...Wow," Leorio stared at me in daze. "You're really old."

Within a flash, I took out my sharpie and drew a man wiener on his cheek. Or, at least, I tried to. Kurapika had apparently anticipated my move, caught my hand and tapped me on the head with the sharpie.

"Play nice," he said, slipping the inky-drawing utensil back into my hand. "Or else..."

"Whatever," I scoffed, though in my head, I was clearly thinking, I'll get you back for that when you're asleep, Princess. "You guys are just jealous 'cause my fiancé and I have kinky sex all the time, while you're blue-balled."

Okay, so...obviously, I've never slept with Illumi considering his innocence; but, hey. Things just slip out of my mouth sometimes and I just can't control them. It's part of the short temper.

Anyway, Kurapika rolled his eyes and ignored me completely; whereas, Leorio turned to a very bright shade of red. "Y-You're not a -"

"A virgin?"

He nodded.

"What do you think?" I smirked.

"I - erm..." He stumbled like a babbling idiot. "Well, you know..."

The poor kid looked ready to die from embarrassment. I couldn't help but smile to myself. Young minds are fun to corrupt, I thought happily. They give you the most adorable reactions.

"So," I drawled out in a flirtatious accent, and scooted closer to him. "You want to find out?"

He exploded.

"GAH, SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!" And off he went, at the speed of light. He shoved past anyone who was in his way and trampled anyone in his path. "I'M NOT LISTENING!!"

I giggled and turned to Kurapika. "Lively, ain't he?"

Kurapika sighed. "For a twenty-three year old, you have terrible manners and grammar."

"Come's with the package, darling," I replied, sticking out my tongue childishly.

"Whatever."

Kurapika remained quiet after that.

In no time, we caught up to Leorio, who kept on shouting "AWKWARD, AWKWARD, AWKWARD!!" like some brain-damaged tape recorder. Which was more than entertaining, if you ask me.

***

In the next half hour, we finally reached the top of these long-ass steps that Satotz led us to and finished.

Of course, Gon and Killua were already there, debating on who was buying who's dinner. Guess they both crossed the finish line at the same time. I couldn't help but smile. They're so cute together...!

Beside me, Leorio slapped his palms on his knees and heaved heavily. Raising a completely worn-out hand to his soaking wet forehead, he wiped the sweat off and flung it to the ground.

"God, I'm dying!" he cried and fell to the floor. "This is a heck lot harder than I thought!"

"No dip, Sherlock," I said, rolling my eyes.

Before he could glare and manifest poison-coated needles out of his deep hatred of me, I took off my bag, opened it up, searched through my stolen goodies and handed him a small pod filled with water.

He looked at it skeptically.

"Just take it, dumbass," I said, rather annoyed. "It's not good to run for an extensive period of time when you're dehydrated."

"...Stop calling me dumbass," he pouted. After a few moments of silence, he reached up and took it. Twisting off the cap, he downed the whole drink in three gulps. "Thanks."

"No problemo, Leorio," I grinned happily.

I closed my backpack and swung it back on. From the corner of my eye, I could see an annoyed look working across Kurapika's face.

He sighed and shook his head. "Could you be any louder?"

"That's something you'll have to ask my fiancé, love," I said, sticking my tongue out.

"Arie!!" Killua went up and kicked me behind the knee, causing me to stumble and look like a dummy. "Stop embarrassing me, dammit!"

Growling, I got up, head-locked the brat and gave him a noogie. "Shut up, squirt!!"

He squirmed around. "Make me, you fatty!"

"Fine!"

I pushed him down on the ground and sat on top of Killua. The kid passed out within twenty seconds...

Nah, I'm just kidding.

I'm not that heavy.

Or, at least, I hope I'm not.

Anyway, Killua didn't actually pass out. If anything, it just pissed him off and made him squirm even more. He threatened to lick me. I threatened to bite him. Killua and I were at it for a while, before we realized Gon, Leorio and Kurapika were all watching us with very weirded out expressions.

"Ne, Arie-chan," Gon laughed nervously. "Would you mind getting off Killua? I don't think that's good for his back."

I smiled and pinched his cheek. "Anything for you, darling."

As promised, I let Killua go and all of us continued to talk/quarrel/beat each other's asses. Just like good old friends. I had a good time and everything; but, all of a sudden, I felt someone watching me.

Without making any big movements, I looked around and saw Gittarackur/Illumi watching me intently from the corner of my eye.

He had that same confused expression on his face. About what, I didn't know; but, it made me feel nostalgic.

I miss him, I thought a little sadly. I know we're supposed to act like we don't know each other, but still...

Being far away from him makes me all needy and stuff. I don't like being all needy and stuff. It's icky.

Discreetly, I waved at him.

Illumi didn't wave back.

He just kept staring, and staring, and staring. Like his eyes were permanently glued to me.

Beside me, Gon poked my arm.

Looking down at the cute little munchkin, I patted him on the head. "Yeah, what is it, Gon?"

"Well, some creepy guy is staring at you," he said in his utmost-concerned voice. "I was just wondering if you're okay with that."

I raised an eyebrow. Does he mean Illumi?

Shaking my head, I flashed him a reassuring smile. "I don't think he's all that creepy."

Killua scoffed. "You sure? 'Cause if you ask me, that clown magician's pretty creepy."

Shit...

Reassuring smile gone.

Looking around, I searched for Psycho Clown. I found him ten feet away, staring straight at me. He was leaning against the tunnel's entrance, arms crossed and looked all smug.

Like a pedophile about to go in for the kill.

A cold shiver ran down my spine. What the hell is he doing here? Why can't he drop out already? And why the hell is Illumi friends with a weirdo like that?!

Killua leaned in and whispered, "I told you he was creepy."

"Shut up," I said, poking him on the forehead. "Let's go over there, where it's safer."

"And by safer, you mean where Hisoka won't stare at you?"

I nodded. "Yup!"

"Chicken," Killua muttered.

Gon frowned. "You really shouldn't tease her too much. It is a bit worrisome."

"...Whatever," Killua said, crossing his arms and turning away. "Just saying..."

And so, we - including Leorio and Kurapika - moved 10 feet further from him. We spent a few more minutes together, before I looked over my shoulder and found Hisoka staring again.

This time, he was next to Illumi. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, he licked his lips and smacked them suggestively.

I flipped him off.

And although he was far, far, far away from me, I could've sworn I heard him chuckle. Now, how creepy is that?!

***

At Satotz's signal, the door to the tunnel closed and nearly crushed a competitor.

Poor guy.

I would've given him candy, so his day wouldn't have been too bad. But, I didn't care about him enough. Oh well. Maybe next time.

"Hey," Kurapika said, catching everyone's attention. "The fog is clearing up."

"Really?"

Gon and Killua jumped up and looked at their surroundings. So did everyone else. Through the thin, watery mist, we saw outlines of trees and bushes.

Leorio, who had recovered from his dehydration, crossed his arms. "A forest, huh?"

"The Numere Wetlands, to be exact," Satotz said in an oh-so-knowledgeable voice. "Also goes by the name of Swindler's Swamp."

"Sounds dangerous," I muttered. Then again, with a name like Swindler's Swamp, I'm pretty sure it is dangerous...

"This place is home to many bizarre animals," the exam proctor continued. "Many of them are cunning, insatiable creatures, who deceive humans and prey upon them."

All of a sudden, Satotz's gaze turned serious and he lowered his voice. "Be very careful. If you let the creatures fool you, you are dead."

The gravity of his words should have weighed down on the examinees. It should have struck fear into their hearts, into their minds, into their souls. This was no laughing matter. In a split second, we could easily lose our lives.

Killua and I included.

I knew for a fact that I could take care of myself. But, as for Killua - he was just a kid. Bratty and talented as he may be, he needed my protection and I was ready to give it to him.

Reaching to my sides, I tightened the straps of my bag and got in an offensive stance. Ready to run and attack at a moment's notice.

Only a dumbass would think this is a joke, I thought irritably. No one could possibly be that -

"Like we're that easy to fool!" Leorio shouted, all cocky.

Speak of the devil...

I face-palmed myself internally.

"Can you believe this, Arie?" the oh-so-famous dumbass crossed his arms and addressed me. "This has got to be a joke. How can anyone fool us, when we're expecting it?"

"It's a lot easier said than done," I muttered, though more to myself than anyone else.

"Huh?" Leorio turned and raised an eyebrow at me. "Did you say something?"

"Not really," I said, shrugging.

"DON'T LET HIM FOOL YOU!!!"

Everyone jumped.

Dozens of heads turned about, all looking like stupid cockatoos, as they searched for the source of the voice. It came from a very beaten-down man hiding behind the corner wall with short, sandy brown hair, a crooked nose and a tattered purple shirt with a green scarf.

"D-don't fall for it..." He stepped out from his hiding spot and jabbed a finger at Satotz. "He's lying to you!"

Everyone stared at the unnamed man intently, with half the group sucking in their breaths. Though no one spoke a word, I could tell they all were wondering the same thing: who is this random man?

"He's an impostor," the random man continued. "He isn't an examiner. I'm the real examiner!"

Nervous whispers erupted from all over. Many of them asked each other whether or not the unnamed man was lying or telling the truth. They act as if they don't know, despite what Satotz had just told us.

But again, human stupidity never ceases to amaze me.

Leorio naively stared at the man. "W-wait, what?"

And this is why I worry about you, dumbass, I thought with an exasperated sigh. Weren't you the one who was acting high and mighty, saying that we were too smart to be caught a few seconds ago?

"Then, who is he?" a ninja warrior, Hanzo, asked as he faced Satotz and got into a defensive stance.

Obviously the exam proctor, other dumbass, I thought.

Seriously.

Weren't all these people listening to Satotz a minute ago? I feel obliged to go around and smack some sense into all these people.

Just when I was getting the nerve to speak up and call them all morons, the self-proclaimed impostor proctor spoke again: "Look at this!"

All attention turned back to him. Just in time for everyone to see him drag out a limp monkey-like body, with curled purple hair, a long purple mustache and a very long, lolling tongue.

"Whoa," Gon said, as he stepped in front of me to get a closer look. "He looks just like Satotz-san!"

"It's a Man-Faced Ape," the impostor explained. "One of the creatures that dwell in the Numere Wetlands."

"What the hell's a Man-Faced Ape?" Leorio asked.

His clueless-ness was really starting to bother me. I literally had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes and retorting, "A Man-Faced Ape is an ape with a man's face."

"Man-Faced Apes love the taste of fresh human flesh," the impostor continued with a low voice. At that point, I could see a bunch of the applicants taking his bait like the complete suckers they are. "However, their limbs are long and thin, so they're quite weak. That's why..."

Bladah-bladah-yada.

Dadah-dadah-daba.

Yada.

Stuff.

Honestly, I got bored of listening to his explanation. It was the dullest and most useless rant I've ever heard of - aside from Milluki explaining to his mother why he needed life-size female dolls in his room. (Yeah, you'd think that be weird at the very least; but, he somehow made it sound so boring.)

The impostor jabbed a finger right at Satotz. "He intends to trap every single applicant!"

"Bastard..." Leorio growled. At this point, he was completely on the impostor's side.

Ninja warrior Hanzo joined in. "He certainly doesn't walk like a human."

And you don't have hair, ninja dude. Does that make you a naked mole rat? Reaching into my back pockets, I was about to take out my Jack to smack both of them with; but, someone beat me to it.

Three cards shot out somewhere from my left and nailed the Man-Faced Ape at three points: the abdomen, the chest and the forehead.

At the same time, three more cards shot out and aimed at Satotz direction. Like a true, well-respected Hunter, Satotz caught the cards with ease.

Relieved that I wasn't the only one in the sea of dumbasses, I looked around to see who had stepped up and proved my point. It was Psycho Clown Hisoka, who was shuffling a deck of cards.

Dammit, I said, trying to calm myself down so the blood vessel on my forehead doesn't pop and splatter on anyone. Of all the people who could've helped me out...

Unlike everyone who had suddenly turned to him with curious gazes, I put on my ugliest troll-face look. Which I was hoping would work and make the guy piss his pants.

Unfortunately, he was immune to it. Even more unfortunately, Leorio was not. The poor guy did piss his pants.

"I see, I see," Hisoka said in that same slow, seductive voice and turned to Satotz. "Then I suppose this settles it. You're the real one."

A very peeved Satotz threw away the cards.

Calm and conceited like that big, puffy, gravity-defying hair of his, Hisoka continued on with his explanation.

"Examiners are Hunters," he said, "All of whom are selected by the committee to perform this duty without pay."

In the distance, a buzzard squealed.

"Any Hunter, bearing this title we seek, would have been able to block that attack."

A silent 'ooh' resounded in the background. Obviously, many people were impressed by him. Satotz closed his eyes and folded his arms behind him.

"I shall take that as a compliment," he said quite calmly for someone who was seconds away from getting severe paper cuts. "However, should you attack me again for any reason, I will report you for turning on an examiner and you will be immediately disqualified."

Silently, I prayed for him to do it again.

He didn't.

"Are we clear?" Satotz narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Yeah," Hisoka nodded nonchalantly.

Satotz then reiterated the rules of Phase One: follow me, do not lose sight of me and trust me.

Hisoka continued to play with his cards nonchalantly.

As he was doing so, I felt a deep and substantial loathing developed in me. Not because of Hisoka's smug attitude, or his sick sense of humor; but, because of his intellect. I don't know what it is but I prefer him to be stupid. It makes his personality a lot more tolerable.

"Ne, Arie-chan," Gon cutely tugged on my wrist.

Unable to keep myself away from his adorbs personality, I bent down and ruffled his hair again. "What is it, Gon?"

"Your backpack is broken," he said. "All the food is spilling out."

...0____________e...

Shit.

Praying to dear god, I hoped it wasn't true.

Slowly turning around with growing uneasiness, I found the most horrific scene ever: the berries squeezed, the kiwis diseased, the oranges juiced, the pineapple lopsided-ed, the cupcakes squashed, the doughnuts re-holed, the chips crumbled, the saltines crunched, the guac splattered, the popcorn deflated, the jerky wasted, the sushi unraveled, the pizza trampled, the bucket of chicken spilled, the quesadillas peeled, the lobster dead, the steak flattened, the clams de-clammed, the cinnabons unrolled, the salad undressed, the burgers defiled and the candy crushed.

(Me: Haha, get it?! Like the game, lolz :P Arie: I'm mourning the loss of my food, and you're making fun of them? Me: Yup. Arie: *kicks ass* Me: Ouchies @_______e)

I felt my whole world shatter.

Bit by bit, my heart cracked at the food massacre laid at my feet. All the love and care I took into stealing that food and treating it right. It's as if my efforts were wasted.

Suddenly, I felt something slip out from my backpack and, out of reflex and fear, I caught it. The last food-related item I had on hand: a pomegranate margarita.

My favorite drink.

A small burst of happiness fluttered from the pit of my stomach and up to my heart.

At least I still have you, sweetie, I thought happily. Feeling the need for a good buzz, I peeled off the plastic cover on my cocktail glass, and brought the salted rim to my lips.

Just as I was about to tip the glass and get a full gulp, Leorio came over to see what all the hubbub was about, slipped on a doughnut and smacked the glass out of my hand.

The drink splattered on to the already-ruined pile of food. Which made me really sad.

"Ne, Arie," Leorio said as he got up and wiped the flattened doughnut off his behind. "You okay?"

I kicked his balls.

Gon, Killua and Kurapika all winced and grabbed their crotch. Sighing, I got on my knees and began gathering whatever I could salvage from the mesh. And then, I saw something that made my blood run cold.

"Oh dear," a sly, mischievous voice said from behind me. "Now how did that get there?"

Bending over, Hisoka reached past my shoulder and plucked out a playing card from the bottom of the pile. His long, taut muscles brushed against me lightly; yet, it made my skin tingle in ways I hated. With a quick flick of his wrist, the card disappeared.

Just like earlier, I felt his hot, heavy breath run up the outer lobe of my ear and curl at the very end.

"Guess I'll just have to be more careful from now on, don't I?" There was no hiding the smirk in his voice. "Ms. Zoldyck."

Instinctively, I grabbed the rotisserie chicken leg and went to slap his face silly with it; but, he caught my wrist and took a small bite out of it, licking his lips lavishly.

"Thanks for the meal," he said, and then jogged off.

What the-?! My face reddened with anger. Not only is he using me as target practice, he's also treating me like his little play thing.

I hate it!

"Hey, fatty," Killua said, pulling me out of my reverie. "What did you do to piss him off?"

"Don't know," I replied indignantly. "But whatever it is, it certainly isn't as bad as what he's done to me."

I took out my sharpies and extra Jacks from my beat-up backpack, stuffed as much as I could in my back pockets and grabbed a handful of berries, chips and popcorn.

"Anyway," Kurapika said, pointing ahead of us. "Let's hurry up. It looks like the group's moving."

***

The Hunter Exam continued.

All 368 applicants who made it through the long underground tunnel traveled through the Numere Wetlands, which was teeming with strange creatures. Some of them cool, some of them weird, and some of them plain fugly.

"What a drag," Leorio said, clutching his stomach and taking in big gulps of air. "I feel like we're in boot camp here!"

Everyone groaned in agreement.

It has been about ten minutes since we began running and already, our bodies were starting to wear down.

Probably 'cause of the marsh, I thought, watching some of the contestants slip and slide to the ground. It uses twice as much energy to keep us up and going at the pace Satotz wants us.

Not only that, the fog was getting thicker too.

It was a another mental strain we all have to face, on top of not knowing how far we still have to go before we cross the finish line.

"All right," a somewhat familiar voice whispered behind me. "This is our chance. We'll take advantage of the fog to get rid of him."

Discreetly, I glanced over my shoulder to see who was plotting the take down and saw the Ugly Daffodil Gang. The ones Illumi and I met on the way to the exam and made stupid-looking flowers out of.

Guess they somehow climbed out of their holes and made their way here, I thought.

For a second, I was worried they were aiming for one of my guy friends; but, then noticed they were all staring at someone running in front of them and behind me: Hisoka.

I couldn't help but feel smug.

Serves that psycho right, I thought happily.

For, like, three seconds before I realized that the Ugly Daffodil gang didn't stand a chance and Hisoka could easily kick their asses.

The whole thing would be a bloody mess.

"Hey, Arie, Gon," Killua said, suddenly pulling me out of my thoughts. "Let's move up."

"Okay," the twelve-year-old nodded. "We don't want to lose sight of the examiner."

"Actually," Killua said. "I'm more concerned with increasing the distance between us and Hisoka."

"Yeah," I agreed, jogging up from behind so I could push them gently. "Staying too close to him is dangerous."

Especially with what's about to happen...

"I can smell it in the air," Killua muttered.

"Smell?" Gon took his phrase literally and sniffed the air, before glancing back at Hisoka. "I don't think he smells."

For a brief moment, the kid made me smile. Even in the darkest and most serious of times, he brightens things up.

Turning to the side, I yelled: "Dumbass! Kurapika! Hurry and move up! It's a lot safer if we're closer to the proctor!!"

"Moron!" I heard Leorio reply from somewhere surprisingly far. "If I had the strength, I'd already be there!"

"Then get more strength, you nitwit!" I shouted back at him.

"Why you - !"

"Don't worry about us!" Kurapika replied shortly after. "We'll be fine!"

"Ehh?" Gon said, sounding surprised. "You sure?"

"Yeah!"

"In that case, let's go," Killua suddenly sped up, skateboard in arm. Within five seconds, he was already twenty feet ahead of us. Not looking back, completely focused.

"Ah, wait!"

Gon and I chased after him. It wasn't too long before we left Leorio, Kurapika, Hisoka and the Ugly Daffodil Gang behind us.

***

Screams erupted from all over.

As Gon, Killua and I jogged behind Satotz, we got a good look at the dead bodies of several Hunter applicants. Some were decapitated by Noggin Luggin' Tortoises, some were suffocated by the spores of Claymore mushrooms, and some were led off a cliff and into a pit of spikes by Ruse Ravens.

All in all, it was terrible.

"Stay on your guard," Killua warned, not bothering to look at the gruesome scene around us.

Gon frowned. "I wonder if Leorio and Kurapika are okay..."

Same here, kid, I thought. Though I didn't really want to admit it to Leorio's and Kurapika's face, I was sincerely concerned about those two.

Trying to push away any depressing thoughts and lighten the mood up, I smiled and patted both of the twelve-year-olds' heads.

"Don't worry too much," I said. "I'm sure they're doing fine, just like we are."

Two seconds later, we fell into a pit.

And by we, I meant Gon and Killua. The moment I felt the ground give way, I leaped into the air and twisted around so I could grab on to Gon and Killua and take the two with me.

But Gon slipped and I lost my grip on Killua's skateboard.

Dammit! I cursed.

As soon as I landed on my feet, giant green lips closed around the pit and a gigantic amphibian face revealed itself. The pit wasn't actually a pit; it was the mouth of a stupid, over-weight frog.

Now, how the hell am I going to get you guys out of there? Annoyed that I got outsmarted by such a simple animal, I took out my Jacks and enlarged them until they were about my arm's length.

"Stupid frog," I muttered.

As if the thing heard my insult and decided to piss me off even more, the frog climbed out of the hole and began walking away.

Holding a Jack in each hand, I began to chase after it.

Technically, I could use my Jack as a lever to pry open the frog's mouth; but, that required a lot of force, and there was no guarantee that Killua and Gon would crawl up the esophagus and out of the oral cavity.

Plus, even if I were to succeed, there was still the chance of me being eaten in the process.

Guess the best way is to cut the belly open, I thought, seeing no other option. Speeding up, I ran up the frog's back, vaulted over its head and landed in a fighting stance. Gripping my Jacks firmly, I raised them up and punctured the frog right under its lip.

Just as I was about to drag my Jacks down and rip its stomach open, the frog turned a funny shade of blue and made a weird, gurgling noise.

What the - ?

It threw up on me.

As if showering in frog vomit wasn't bad enough, Killua and Gon landed right on top of me. With Killua's butt on my head, and Gon across my stomach.

For a couple of twelve-year-olds, they were heavy!

"Ooouuuch," I moaned.

"Arie!" Gon immediately got off my stomach and helped me up (after I shoved Killua out of my face). "Are you okay?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, wincing a bit as a propped myself up on my elbows. "What about you guys?"

"We're fine," Gon smiled, before scratching his head and looking at the direction of the amphibious monster. "Guess he didn't like the taste of us."

"Actually," Killua spoke up after somehow de-vomiting himself, and held up a metallic container. "It was thanks to this."

I narrowed my eyes. I recognize that small orange aluminum can...

So did Gon.

"Ah, that was from Tonpa-san!" he said. "Guess he saved us."

"I could've escaped," Killua shrugged nonchalantly. "Just wanted to help you out as well."

I glared at the little white-haired boy. "Getting vomit all over me isn't exactly helping, you know?"

"Who said I considered you?" he scoffed. "Your fault for standing in front of it!!"

"Excuse me?" Scraping most of the gunk and digestive juices off of me, I flung the disgusting mass towards Killua. "I was trying to cut that frog's belly open and dig you out."

"But you don't want to hurt the frog, do you, Arie?" Gon interrupted, giving me that puppy-dog look.

"Well, it ate you guys," I said, crossing my arms. "So yeah, I sorta do."

"Sadist," Killua muttered.

I stuck out my tongue. "So are you."

"Anyway, guys," Gon said, interrupting our little dispute. "Does anyone else get the feeling something bad is going to happen?"

My thoughts immediately went to Leorio and Kurapika. Not only were they falling behind when our group split, but they weren't in the best fighting conditions either.

Someone - or something - could have easily overtaken them.

"A little," I admitted after a moment of silence. "I sort of want to go and check on Leorio and Kurapika."

Gon nodded. "Same."

Turning to Killua, I gestured toward him. "What about you, squirt? You want to come with?"

Much to my surprise, the twelve year old Zoldyck stood up from his seat, dusted himself off and turned around.

"Just forget about them," he muttered and began heading off in the Hunter Exam's general direction. "Let's get a move on."

"But, Killua - !"

"Hurry up and lose some weight, fatty!" He called back before dashing off and disappearing into the fog.

I should kill that kid, I thought murderously. Chop him up to little pieces and serve him to piranhas. Or Hisoka. That'd solve all my problems, and I can go on and live a happy life.

...But I'll deal with him later.

With that being my life-long goal, I turned around and began running the other direction.

Gon ran alongside me.

***

We found Leorio and Kurapika.

And boy, were they in trouble.

They were both tense, uneasy from the situation they found themselves in. Not too far away, Hisoka had just beaten the living daylights out of the Ugly Daffodil Gang and their leader. With crumpled bodies surrounding his six-feet, one inch figure, he looked like the devil.

Hiding behind a tree, I pulled Gon beside me.

He frowned.

"They need our help," he said worriedly. "We need to go!"

I shook my head. "Not necessarily."

That confused the poor kid. Tilting his head, he asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Look," I said, pointing over to Kurapika and Leorio. "They haven't started fighting yet. Let's just watch and see if they can get out of this on their own. If not -"

"Then we'll jump in," Gon finished my sentence.

I nodded. But let's hope to dear god, we don't have to...

Turning our attention back to the clearing, we watched as Hisoka - tall, pale-as-a-sheet moron - slowly began making his way towards our friends. Just as he was about 15 feet away, he stopped.

A card suddenly appeared in his hand.

A moment of silence.

And then...

"NOW!!" Kurapika yelled.

Simultaneously, Kurapika and Leorio ran off in separate directions. They disappeared in the fog within seconds.

I let out a relieved sigh.

"That was close," I whispered to Gon. "Way too close."

"Yeah," he said, relaxing a bit.

"I guess we have nothing to worry about."

From what I could tell, running from Hisoka was Leorio's and Kurapika's best option. In doing so, Hisoka couldn't follow them in to the woods, nor could he find out who the better fighter was - which, apparently, seems to be really important to him.

Instead of looking disappointed, Hisoka simply stood there, amused. He muttered something to himself, though I couldn't tell what. Probably ramblings of an insane person.

"Anyway, Gon," I said, tugging on his green jacket's sleeve. "Let's go before that Psycho Clown notices us."

"Okay," he slowly reeled in his fishing rod's line.

Just as we were about to leave, we heard the squish-squash of feet walking through wet grass. In the distance, I could barely make out a tall, lanky figure carrying a large, misshapen branch.

But there was no mistaking who the person was.

It was the dumbass.

Instantaneously, I felt all my muscles tense and my heart leap out of my throat. My skin crawled. A thin layer of sweat covered my back, and made me shiver involuntarily.

I clenched my fists. What the hell are you doing?!

"I just can't do it," Leorio said, loud enough so we could hear. "This may not be my fight, but I won't close my eyes and make a break for it!"

In the distance, I heard Kurapika shout back. "Leorio!"

But Leorio didn't listen. If anything, it fired him up even more and he let out a battle cry. Swinging the stick back, he ran straight for Hisoka. A look of pure hatred on his face.

"Mmm," Hisoka smiled broadly. "I adore that look on your face."

Leorio was closing in on him.

I wanted to shout at the dumbass. Yell at him until his ears bleed from headache and trauma. But, couldn't. Not because I was afraid of getting caught by Hisoka, but because I was simply struck by Leorio's determination to fight Psycho Clown.

Does he want to die?!?!

"Arie-chan," Gon whispered, and took out his fishing rod. "We've got to do something!"

"I know, I know," I said. "But let me figure out a plan first."

At that point, Leorio had reached Hisoka. He struck Psycho Clown right down the middle; however, just as the stick connected with Hisoka's forehead and caused major head injuries, Hisoka separated into two and dissipated like a cloud of smoke.

"W-what?!" Leorio growled.

I cursed. Shit, he's using Nen!

I should've guessed it. From the time he destroyed Bull's arms to the time he cut my bag open without catching my attention - I should've known he was a Nen-user.

Using Gyo, I quickly scanned Hisoka for his aura.

It was a dark purple aura, engulfing his body as if it were some untamable wildfire. That it could burn anyone at any minute. And even though I could tell he was trying to suppress it, bloodlust was seeping out of him and poisoning the air around me.

For a brief moment, I was terrified.

Then, I got over it.

It's similar to Illumi's, I thought. Obviously they're not the same type of Nen-users, but the aura is similar.

From what I could tell, Hisoka's just playing around. He had no intention of getting serious with Leorio, which was a relief. Gon and I can still get him out of this in one piece.

With hypnotic speed, Hisoka side-stepped Leorio and stood behind him. He began reaching for Leorio's tie, as if planning to suffocate him with it.

I crouched down in position and took out my Jacks.

"Gon, stay out of this," I whispered. "I'll deal with him."

Gon didn't listen.

With a fierce look in his eyes, the little kid reeled his arm back, swung the fishing pole up in a graceful, wide arc and sent out the red bobber and sinker. It hit Hisoka square in the jaw and disoriented him for a few seconds.

Ugh, no one's listening to me, I thought, grumpily. Screw it. I'm gonna bullshit this thing.

"Leorio, run!" I shouted, leaping out from behind the tree. "We'll take care of this!"

"We?!" Leorio looked up at us, completely taken aback. "Wait, Arie?! Gon?!"

I slipped past Hisoka and got to Leorio, who was on the ground on all fours. "What did you think you were doing, you idiot?!"

"I - I couldn't turn my back on him," he responded, a little shaken. "He hurt these people for his own, sick pleasure."

Well, that's not entirely true, I thought, but decided not to point it out. Now wasn't really the time.

"Get out of here while you still can," I slung one of his arms over my shoulder and hoisted him up.

He stumbled a bit.

"Gon has him distracted at the moment," I said.

True to my word, Hisoka paid little attention to us and began making his way towards Gon. A sick, twisted smile played on his lips.

"Not bad, little boy," he said. "Is that a fishing pole?"

No response.

"What a fascinating weapon," Hisoka continued, and held out his hand. "Mind if I get a closer look?"

At that point, he was about halfway to where Gon was standing. I turned my attention back to Leorio.

"Let's go," I whispered, dragging the 19-year-old moron away. "Move your sorry ass already."

With tremendous force, Leorio pushed me away and bent down to the ground to pick up the misshapen stick again.

"Oi!" he wailed. "Your fight is with me!"

And he began charging at Hisoka again, like a raging bull. My grip on my Jacks tightened. What the hell is it with people not listening to me today?!

Infuriated with his stupidity and blind rage, I ran behind Leorio, sprung on to his back, and smashed the side of his face with the blunt, ball-end of my Jack. With a sickening crunch, the poor guy passed out and landed on his front.

The scene distracted Hisoka long enough for Gon to leap into the air and slash him with his fishing rod. While they were focused on that, I turned Leorio on his back and tugged on his leg so I could drag his useless, dumb body off to a safe area.

I was planning on dragging him to the far side of the forest, but...

Damn, I thought, straining my back as I tugged on him. What the heck do you eat that makes you this heavy?

I ended up dumping him by one of the Ugly Daffodil's body.

By the time I turned my attention back to Hisoka and Gon, I found the little kid suspended a few feet in the air, legs kicking frantically.

"How wonderful," Hisoka whispered, breathing heavily. "I really do love that look..."

Within seconds, my Jacks pressed up against him, one digging into his stomach and the other nearly slicing his throat.

I glowered. "Let him go."

Hisoka hesitated, as if contemplating whether or not to listen to me. Then, Gon momentarily stopped kicking his legs. I dug the Jacks in even deeper.

"Let - him - go..." I whispered, ready to kill this asshole.

Hisoka dropped him to the ground.

Suddenly kicking back into life, Gon crumpled to his knees and began coughing. I retracted my Jacks from the psycho's vitals and bent down to Gon's level.

"You okay, kid?" I asked.

Before he could respond, Hisoka bent down to our level as well. I held out my Jack again, this time the point barely touching his jugular. A deep, malicious chuckle resounded from his throat.

He wrapped his hand around the point of my Jack. Thin streams of blood seeped out from in between his fingers as he forced my weapon down.

"Do not fear," he said, a somewhat overly-friendly smile plastered on his face. "I will not kill your friends."

I narrowed my eyes, suspicious. "Don't mess with me, Psycho."

"I'm not," he replied. "They passed."

"Passed?" I said, incredulous.

"And so did you."

"Me?" I repeated. "The heck does that mean?!"

He ignored my question and glanced at Gon, who watched him with careful eyes. "Grow up and become a fine Hunter," he said.

A small, metallic beep sounded.

Digging through his pocket, Hisoka fished out a walkie-talkie with a built in GPS. From what I can see, we were far away from where the main hunting pack was.

"Hisoka," a male robotic voice spoke from the tiny device. "You should get back here. We're nearly at the Phase Two site."

I frowned.

I recognized that voice-changer machine. Isn't that - ?

"Okay," Hisoka replied, cutting off my train of thought. "I'll be right there."

And with that, he stood up, walked over to Leorio and threw him over his shoulder - as if the guy weighed nothing at all. He glanced over his shoulder and back at us.

"It's always good to have friends," he said, with a closed-eye smile. "Both of you can find your own way back, yes?"

I didn't answer; but, Gon nodded for me.

"That's a good boy," he said.

And with that, he turned around and began walking into the fog. Within seconds, he disappeared completely. Gon kept breathing heavily.

I lightly punched his arm. "Feeling better?"

"Somewhat," he said, struggling to catch his breath.

"GON! ARIE!" another voice called out. "Are you guys all right?"

Turning around, we saw a mop of messy blond hair and dull grey eyes hurrying over to us. His blue tabard still missing, Kurapika's white work out suit blended in with the surroundings and made him look like a decapitated head. Helping Gon up to his feet, we both faced him.

"Yeah, we're all right," Gon said.

I nodded. "Minimal injuries, so you know..."

"That's good to hear," Kurapika said as he let out a relieved sigh. "But where's Leorio? I didn't see him on the way here."

"About that," I said, shrinking my Jacks so I could pocket them away. "Hisoka took him."

Kurapika raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean took him?"

"As in he's carrying the dumbass to the Phase Two site," I explained, running a hand through my hair and moving the hair out of my face. "I knocked him out earlier while we were fighting Hisoka. The guy must've had a death wish or something, 'cause he kept trying to fight Psycho Clown..."

"But he's okay, right?" Kurapika pressed on. His scowl set, his fists clenched, the poor Kurta looked restless.

Gon nodded reassuringly. "He promised he won't kill Leorio."

"That's good," he responded, relaxing a bit. "Anyway, let's start heading back to the main running pack."

"Yeah," Gon said. "I heard they're close to the Phase Two site already."

They began jogging in the direction Gon and I came from. I was about to go with them too, when an uneasy feeling worked its way into my stomach. I looked back in Hisoka's direction.

When Gon and Kurapika noticed that I didn't follow them, Gon turned back to look at me.

He tilted his head in confusion.

"Ne, Arie-chan," he called out. "Are you coming?"

I shook my head. "I have something I need to take care of. You guys go on without me."

Kurapika narrowed his eyes. "You sure?"

"Positive," I said. Taking out my Jacks once more, I took off running towards Hisoka's direction. "I'll see you guys at Phase Two!"

***

"Ah, stop it!!"

"You don't like it?"

"No!" I said, cursing him. "You're too big!"

"Funny," Hisoka laughed, digging in deeper. "Judging from your fiancé's size, I thought you liked big."

"Bastard," I growled, trying to wiggle out of his grip, but to no avail. If anything, Psycho Clown tightened his hold on my wrists and pushed down on me harder.

It hurts, I thought, bearing the physical agony. Why the heck is he being such a pain in the ass?!