Chapter 02: Damn Quiz and Promises
Written by: Dreamer Of Clouds

***

Arie Kadan's P.o.V.
Three Days Later...

It's a beautiful day outside.

The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. And the sad, sad souls that are stupid enough to piss off Illumi are lying on the ground, all knocked out. 

Idiots, I thought, rolling my eyes.

Leaning back on a tree, I watched as Ilumi gathered up all eleven bodies with one hand and half-bury them in the huge hole that he made not too long ago. With their heads sticking out, they looked like really ugly daffodils.

I couldn't help but smirk. Serves them right.

It had been two hours since Illumi and I left the port and headed towards the cedar tree that the ship's captain had pointed out. On the way to the said special cedar tree, we ran into these dumbasses. Apparently, they thought we didn't belong in the Exam and decided to take us on.

Something about us looking like circus freaks, and shaming the Exam's name.

Which really ticked me off.

But I let Illumi handle it since he wanted a warm-up. In the end, I just sat back, relaxed, and watched him kick their sorry butts. It was funny as hell. 

Illumi looked back at me and tilted his head with the cutest, most emotionless face possible. "Hey, Arie. Do you think this is okay? Or should I just completely bury them alive?"

"Nah, I think they should be good. Besides," I said, pushing off the tree and walking over to him. "If they were fully buried, I wouldn't be able to do this."

I bent down, took out a sharpie and began drawing fake mustaches on their faces. (Plus, an inappropriate male part on the group leader's forehead). If they were gonna do stupid things, they should look like stupid things.  Satisfied, I capped the marker and stood up with a happy expression.

"There," I said, flashing Illumi a very satisfied smile. "What do you think?"

The 24-year old Zoldyck didn't even crack a grin. If anything, he looked even more confused. "I don't get what you're trying to do, Arie."

"It's a joke," I explained enthusiastically, putting my marker away in my back pocket. "I'm trying to show everyone how dumb they are by drawing ridiculous things on their faces."

No response.

I raised an eyebrow. "Get it?"

Still, more confusion.

I sighed.

Oh, poor Illumi. He was never going to understand the world. At least, not this way. I mean, I knew he was a sheltered child and everything, but really? Who didn't find facial hair and male genitalia hilarious?

This was just sad...

"Oh!" Suddenly, Illumi's monotonous face lit up, as if he finally understood something. "I think I get it now."

I could barely hide the surprise on my face. "You do?"

"It's because your drawings are lopsided!" He pointed out cleverly. "Right?"

***

A while later, Illumi and I came across an abandoned town. The walls were beaten up and worn. The streets were cracked and unsanitary. And although it looked like no one has lived here for decades, I could still feel eyes on me.

It made me shudder. Man, I hate stalkers...

It bothered me even more that I couldn't see our attackers, depsite the fact that I was using Gyo. They must be really good if they can avoid being detected by me.

I glanced over at Illumi. His face was blank, but I coult tell from the even-more-so vacant look in his eyes that he thought the same too.

"Hey, Illumi," I tugged on his sleeve gently. "You feel it too, don't you?"

"More or less," he responded promptly. "But it doesn't feel malevolent, so we should be fine."

"You sure?"

He nodded. 

Just then, all the doors burst open. A wooden stage filled with several actors dressed in white robes and masks rolled out and blocked our path. Sitting in the middle of it all was a woman who had so many wrinkles on her face, I had to wonder if she was a human raisin.

Which is pretty disgusting, now that I think about it.

The old lady smiled. "Exciting..."

I raised an eyebrow, completely perplexed. "Exciting?"

"Exciting Two-Choice Quiz!!" She suddenly shouted. The actors behind her began to play really bad music, making me cringe a bit. I glanced over at Illumi to see how he was taking all of this, but he showed no change in expression.

Typical.

I guess I really had nothing to worry about, if he was acting this calm. Relaxing a bit, I regained my composure and crossed my arms. "Who are you?"

She ignored my question.

"What a lovely couple," the elderly lady said, causing me to blush. Did we really look cute together? "You two are heading for the Cedar Tree, are you not?"

I crossed my arms, still flustered. "So? What of it?"

"To reach the tree, you must pass this town," she explained. "And in order to pass this town, you shall answer a one-questioned quiz, which I will administer. Get it right, I will let you go. But get it wrong, you will have to try again next year."

Shit.

No one told me we had to study.

I mean, I knew the Hunter Exam was an exam; but, I didn't think it'd involve testing my knowledge. Especially, not one that can definitely screw me over and prevent me from meeting up with Killua. 

Beside me, Illumi nodded. A finger on his chin, he looked completely unconcerned about what was going on in my frantic head.

"Go on," he said, ever-so-calmly.

"I will give you the choice of 1 or 2. Any other answer aside from that will be considered incorrect. In addition, both of you will share the question, so answer wisely. You have five seconds to give me your response."

Shiiiitttt.

"Hey," I elbowed Illumi, who seemed to be lost in thought. "You take this. I'm not good with quizzes."

Illummi 'hmm'ed. "But I'm not good with quizzes either, Arie."

"Well, I trust your instincts better," I argued,"You're always cool-headed, and think things through. So, it is probably better if you take this one."

"Ahhh?" He turned a wondering gaze towards me. "Is that so?"

"Yeah." I nodded, to confirm my confidence in him. "I trust you."

Illumi patted my head gently, making me feel giggly and girly inside. I hated it. But not as much as I loved him for it, too. The doofus...

Illumi turned back to the elderly lady and nodded. "I will answer." 

"Here is your question," she said. Two actors behind her blew a horn and made a stupid bird sound. "Evil villains have caputred your mother and your lover. You can only save one. Select 1 for your mother, or 2 for your lover."

She gave us a significant look. "Which would you save?"

"Um..." I scratched my head, baffled. That's a hard question.

Who would Illumi save?

Me?

Or Kikyo? (That psycho bitch :P).

If I were in his situation, I wouldn't know what to do either. Kikyo may be a bitch, but she was his mom. Someone irreplacable. Someone you can't exactly let die.

But the same applies to the lover. A lover is someone you're supposed to trust, care for and protect. It's an unspoken pact both people sign when they give their hearts to each other. And, even if the lover does die, you still go around with that haunted feeling that you were powerless to protect those important to you.

Either way, if you pick one over the other, it's a lose-lose situation.

Peeking over, I could see the slight surprise in Illumi's face, too. His dark cat eyes widened a bit. A look he always got when he was thinking about something deeply. How could he choose between two important people?

...Wait a minute.

Maybe that's it! 

As soon as I realized the answer, I mental-smacked myself. Maybe you're not supposed to choose. As a Hunter, you're supposed to pick out the best outcome for you, which, in this case, would be for both people to survive.

Therefore, we shouldn't answer.

"Illumi -" I began, but was cut off by the old hag.

"You may also be disqualified for sharing your answer," she said, shooting me a nasty look. "Let him figure it out for himself. You have five seconds as of now."

I stared at Illumi, hoping for the best. Although the guy was as clueless as a stick when it came to social protocol, he was a genius. So he'll figure it out. I believe in him.

"Don't worry. Just take your time," I said. The old hag glared. I stuck my tongue out at her. Didn't say anything about giving hints...

"No rush," I added, just to spite the old lady. 

"Three seconds," she muttered.

Suddenly, Illumi's eyes widened.The brilliant way it does when he's fascinated by his discovery, and it made him look like a kid. It was adorable.

"Ah, I think I figured it out, Arie," he said.

"Two seconds," the lady continued.

"You did?" I smiled.

"One second."

"I knew I could count on you." I gushed, almost embarrisingly. Again, I'm usually not this lovey-dovey in public, but hey. Whatever helps Illumi pass.

"Time's up," the exam proctor mumbled, a little annoyed. "What is your answer, young man?"

"Silence," Illumi stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "Given the choices you gave us, there is no right answer to this question."

"Correct," the old lady said.

She didn't seem all too thrilled that I got the benefits of Illumi's answers, but didn't say anythiing else. With a nod to her right, one of the building's wooden door opened up. "You may proceed to your destination. I wish you both good luck."

Grinning, I tugged on Illumi's arm and headed on our way. Before we left though, I looked back and nodded to the exam proctor. "Thanks, old hag!"

 ***

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

With a flick of my wrist, I threw the last jack I had in my hand at the poor sycamore tree that I’d been practicing on. The jack whizzed through the air and landed with another definite ‘thud’. Even though it was about 300 meters away, I could clearly see the Frowning Face outlined.

“Finally,” I said. Swiping the dirt off my hands, I stood up. “What do you think, Illumi?”

Illumi, who had gotten back from his hunting trip, tilted his head in wonder. “It’s lopsided again, Arie.”

“That’s ‘cause your head’s lopsided, too,” I smacked him. “Idiot.”

Yeah.

I was in a pouty mood.

Not because I was upset or anything; but, because I was just hungry. It had been nearly three hours since we left the abandoned town; two hours, since I began to complain about my empty stomach; and one hour, since I attempted to eat Illumi’s arm.

(Me: Not in that way, perverts…>_____>)

Apparently, Illumi didn’t like the idea of me resorting to cannibalism, so he pried me off of him and set out to hunt for game meat. I expected him to get a bunch of small animals, like squirrels, rabbits, maybe even frogs.

But…

Instead, he came back with a big ass deer.

Completely unfazed from my assault, Illumi set the dead deer he was hauling over his shoulder down on the ground, and then began to prepare a fire. Within seconds, a warm heat crackled from the pile of wood.

As emotionless as always, I sighed. Even though Illumi didn’t feel a thing whenever I hit or insulted him, I still felt guilty. (Me: Then, don’t you think you should stop hitting him? Arie: *smacks* Shut up. Me: Ouch… T____T) I sat down next to him.

“Sorry,” I apologized.

“For what?” he asked, a puzzled expression scrawled all over his face.

“Hitting you,” I mumbled, almost inaudibly. “It was mean and uncalled for.”

Grabbing one of his needles to use as a makeshift knife, he cut the deer expertly. “Ahh? Don’t worry about it, Arie.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because I’m an assassin and you’re a vigilante,” he explained, in his somewhat joyful, absentminded tone. He shish-kabob-ed the meat with his needle and held it over the fire.

“In our world, people try to kill us all the time. Whether it’s with knives, daggers or swords. So, a small smack like that is nothing compared to what we deal with in our jobs.”

“I suppose,” I said, pouting. “But, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” He said.

Annoyed, I rolled my eyes. “Why can’t you just accept it?”

“Because I don’t see the point,” he said. “You always do that to me. Won’t you just do it more once we’re married?”

“Sh-shut up!” I snapped, a warm blush working its way across my face. “It’s not like I try to. It’s just a reflex I can’t help.”

“Exactly,” he continued, completely oblivious to my beet red face. “If you can’t stop smacking me, just accept smacking me.”

“But–!”

“Shish-kabob?” Illumi handed me the semi-torched meat, interrupting me mid-sentence. He clearly lost his interest in the conversation and continued on.

That was the thing about Illumi.

He used more broken logic than I did to win arguments. And there was no reasoning with him once he did that. You freakin’, little…

Sighing, I hesitantly let the subject go.

Taking the stick he offered me, I bit into the meat. Tender, salty juices seeped out from the deer meat and into my taste buds. It was the best I had tasted in forever, and it finally calmed down my grumpy stomach.

“Feel better?” My hubby asked as he took a seat next to me.

I nodded. “Yeah. A lot better.”

“That’s good.”

Without warning, Illumi reached over and patted my head. The gesture was so sweet, it set butterflies lose in my stomach and made me blush. Not wanting him to notice, I turned away and huffed.

Stupid hormones, I grumbled. Always making me feel dorky…

Oh, God.

I just realized – if this is what being with him feels like now, it made me wonder how married life with Illumi would be like. With him winning arguments, with me pouting constantly, and with our kids watching, amusedly…

‘You will bear my children one day,’ Illumi said to me the day our parents announced our engagement. A severe nosebleed started working itself out until I slapped myself silly.

I most certainly DID NOT just think that!

“Hey, Arie,” Illumi whispered, pulling me out of my reverie. “Can I ask you for a favor?”

I paused.

His voice didn’t sound right.

All of a sudden, he sounded way too serious. A complete 180 degree change from his personality twenty seconds ago.

Turning my attention back to him, I saw Illumi gazing at the fire with a solemn expression. Completely absorbed in thought. Taking a bite out of my kabob, I chewed slowly. “What is it?”

“I need you to watch over Killua for me,” he said.

Okay…?

Like I haven’t done that before.

“I was planning on doing that anyway, whether you asked me to or not,” I responded, gulping down the tasty meat. “But what do you mean by the ‘for me’ part?’”

Illumi sighed. “There are multiple reasons why I am asking you to do this.”

“Which would be?” I asked.

“First, I need to focus on getting my Hunter’s license,” he explained. “I can’t finish the Exam if I’m constantly worrying over Killua’s safety. That’s why I’m entrusting it to you.”

…Bullshit.

Illumi had a reputation for being the overbearing, overprotective big brother. He looked after Killua many times before, and kicked anyone’s ass if they so as much threatened him. Whether or not Illumi had something else set as his priority.

So, why…?

“Are you really all that concerned about passing the Exam?” I asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “It’s not that hard, you know.”

“Hmm?” Illumi seemed indifferent, adding more to my suspicion.

“No offense to the past veterans of the Exam, but from what I heard, this is going to be easy for you.”

“I suppose,” he said slowly. “But with that being said, it’s definitely not going to be easy for Killua. Which brings me to my second point.”

“Second point?”

“Killua is still a kid. There are a lot of things he doesn’t know, which can hurt him. Without guidance, he’ll stray from the path of an assassin. This is where you come in.”

I scratched the back of my head. “Me?”

He nodded.

“Killua listens to you better than anyone else,” he ran his slender fingers through my hair slowly, and twirled it at the ends. “Even if you can’t use your Manipulator logic on him, my little brother likes you enough to consider what you say to him before he does something stupid.”

Okay, I thought, nodding at the sentiment. I guess that makes sense. But still…

“You’re the older brother though,” I pointed out. “Shouldn’t you be the one to look after Killua?”

“Don’t get me wrong. I want to look after Killua,” Illumi admitted, his voice still quiet. “But unlike you, he doesn’t want me around. So, if I were to watch him during the Exam, he would just run away.”

Even in the growing darkness, I could see a slight sadness in Illumi’s eyes. He almost never showed any sign of emotional distress; but, when he did, it usually meant it bothered him to a level he couldn’t control.

Poor Illumi.

The mere thought of his sadness made my heart ache.

Snuggling closer to him, I rest my head on his shoulder. He looked down at me, somewhat surprised. I just returned his gaze with a wide grin. “You really are a dork,” I snickered.

The confusion on his face couldn’t have been more apparent. “Haa?”

“You’re worrying too much,” I explained. “It’s like you said: Killua is still a kid. It’ll take some time before he can mature and truly appreciate what you’re trying to do. Just give him some time.”

“But –” he began, before I cut him off by elbowing him.

“Give him time,” I repeated, more definitive. “It’ll be better for both of you if he comes to understand you on his own. That way, your relationship with each other will feel more authentic and sincere. Get it?”

“…Not really,” Illumi said, after a prolonged silence. “But since you’re a lot more familiar with emotions and relationships than I am, I will trust your judgment.”

“Okay,” I said, not really bothered by his lack of empathy. Things like this usually took weeks, maybe even months, for him to understand.

Stretching out, I groaned and shifted my position so I could lie down and set my head in his lap. He gazed at me with a wondering expression. Looking up at him, I tapped his nose. “So, what’s the third reason then?”

Illumi continued to stroke my hair. “How did you know there’s a third reason?”

“Because there’s always one?” I said, in an ‘it’s-so-obvious’ tone.

After a few seconds of choosing his words carefully, Illumi finally spoke. “I have to meet up with a friend.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. That’s so descriptive…

“And this friend would be?” I asked.

“A friend,” he repeated, as if he truly didn’t understand my condescending tone. “This will be our first meeting in a while.”

Sighing, I shook my head in irritation. “How does meeting up with your so-called ‘friend’ prevent you from watching Killua? I thought your brother was the most important thing to you.”

“He is,” Illumi said. “But this meeting is mandatory, so I can't really avoid it. Also, because of my friend’s reputation, I can’t be seen associating with him. It would bring unnecessary attention to me, as well as Killua. That’s why I’ve decided to disguise myself and enter this exam under the alias, ‘Gittarackur.’”

“Gita….cracka? What?” I gave up trying to pronounce it.

It was a mouthful.

He didn’t even notice my tongue-tied-ness.

“Once I’m under that guise, I can’t talk to you or Killua. Which is why I’m entrusting his safety to you.” Illumi finally rested his hand on my forehead. “Make sense?”

"Nope," I flashed him a toothy grin. “But you can count on me.”