—chapter six:
a long way down

"SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK."

Jackson knew she had a tendency to let her curiosity get the best of her sometimes. It happened when she was close to getting the answer she wanted and there were a few moments where she didn't sleep until she connected all of the dots and completed the picture. She had gone down so many rabbit holes, collecting a whole bout of information that was necessary to what she was trying to figure out. It had happened the night she started on her most ambitious project yet: figuring out the Super Soldier Serum. She knew the implications and the complications when it came to figuring this out and the possibilities of being tracked down and found out if she were to actually go through with this.

    It had been a rather quiet night in her loft, save for the parade of traffic that was wafting up to her open window from the streets down below. Weeks had gone by after she and her ex had broken up and it was one of those nights where she kept to herself, not wanting any meaningless interaction from someone she had found on Tinder—Tinder, for fuck's sake. She hadn't had many things to keep her busy and had already run out of ibuprofen because she was taking two at a time to kill her terrible headaches (how she didn't die, she'd never know. Why she also got them in the first place was also a mystery).

    Jackson had been perched in front of her Mac, cup of tea in hand with a pint of dairy-free Ben & Jerry's next to the keyboard and mindlessly combing through scientific magazines because she wanted something new to read. Having stopped at what seemed to be an interesting one, she read the bigger headline: Gamma Radiation Incident at Lab. It hadn't been much of a headline, but it intrigued her nonetheless.

    Scrolling through the article, it had described that "renowned scientist" Dr. Bruce Banner was trying to "replicate some sort of Super Soldier Serum" and had been exposed to too much of the gamma radiation as he "thought it would have been the answer to activating the serum." Clearly, it had worked a little too well.

    Then, Jackson had gone over to Google and looked up the aforementioned Super Soldier Serum. Countless sources had said that it was "a chemical solution originally created and developed by Abraham Erskine. The serum was formulated to enhance the human body and mind, and was intended to be utilized by the United States Armed Forces during World War II in order to transform Allied soldiers into super soldiers." It had been notable for the powers of one Steve Rogers, who was dubbed Captain America and led the United States to victory.

    "Huh," she had mumbled before diving head-first down the first rabbit hole of the night.

    It wasn't long before Jackson had concocted a list of ingredients to replicate the serum for the next day. She hadn't done it for the powers (which would have been a cool bonus), but she figured that it would be better than the ibuprofen that was doing absolutely nothing for her at this point in time. Setting aside the list, she had gotten curious about the super soldier and went down another long-winded hole that led her to some interesting information about an organization called S.H.I.E.L.D, a top-secret agency that worked to protect and serve the people against any major outside threats.

    Couldn't have been that top-secret if I had managed to find it, she had thought, but then she remembered that she had a brain that was far too big for her body and worked faster than the average human.

With nothing but adrenaline running through her veins at the very moment, Jackson decided to pay Loki a visit.

    She thought that if she was going to get to the bottom of all of this, talking to him would be step in the right direction. Chances were that he wasn't going to tell her anything but it was a chance worth taking, anyway. Using context clues because Jackson was wary of the workers on the helicarrier at the moment and they wouldn't dare tell her where Loki was located, she made her way to the detention center herself.

    As soon as her foot landed upon the first step up to the high-tech cage, Loki turned around. His stare was intimidating and Jackson felt a little stuck in her spot as his intense gaze was locked on to hers. When she walked up the rest of the steps to stand in front of the cage, his stare followed her like the Mona Lisa at the Louvre; intense with every step she took.

    "I've never seen you around here before, darling. Who are you?" Loki questioned, the corners of his lips curling up in a small smirk.

    Jackson shifted her weight from one foot to the other, squirming a little because she had never been in the presence of a god before, barring Thor because he was almost human with how humble he was. Straightening up, she finally answered. "My name is Jackson Edwards. I'm gonna ask you something."

    "What makes you think that I'll answer?" Loki raised an eyebrow at her. Jackson cleared her throat. "Because bad things might happen if you don't."

    "I am Loki of Asgard, God of Mischief. I rather enjoy when bad things happen, dear." His tone was on the rather condescending side, but he had a point there.

   Shaking her head, Jackson asked, "What can you tell me about the Tesseract?"

   "Why do you want to know?"

    "I'm curious, is all. The properties that the Tesseract has. . .intrigues me. I was wondering if there was anything inside of it that made it act the way it did."

     Loki considered her for a second, reading her face and searching for any signs that might give her away. He crossed his arms and creased his eyebrows when he didn't find any. "You're different from the other ones, Jackson. I can't quite get a read on you."

     "My parents think I'm special," Jackson responded sarcastically, her tone sardonic. Then it was her turn to look at Loki. She took in the expression on his face and instantly saw something that resembled jealousy and envy. The way that his jaw was set and how clenched his fists meant that he was angry about something. "You're angry."

     "What?" asked Loki, creasing his eyebrows further to express his confusion, wondering where that observation came from.

    "Yeah," Jackson confirmed, nodding, "your outward appearance appears to be calm and collected but you're boiling on the inside. Why are you angry, Loki?"

    "I am not angry. How did you perceive these delusions?"

    "I can read people's emotions easily. I'm able to understand more through touch but there's no way in hell I'm getting anywhere near you—no offense. So tell me, what's inside the Tesseract?"

    "I'm not telling you anything," Loki retorted, leaning in and pounding his fist against the glass. "If you think that you can just waltz on in here and expect an answer out of me then. . .well. Guess again."

    Jackson then got up close to the cage and placed her hand where Loki's fist was and the other over his forehead. Bowing her head, she took in a breath, closed her eyes, and dug. This was the first time she tried getting past the emotion and trying to see the reasoning behind it and what she saw was. . .interesting.

    "You're not angry," she observed, looking up at Loki, "you're jealous. You didn't get the attention you needed as a child and this is your way of trying to get it. You're acting out so people can finally see you."

    Loki stumbled away, shocked and his eyes widening a little. "You're some sort of little witch, aren't you? Is that what you are? You've come on board to force me into telling you where the Tesseract is so you can take it back to your own planet? Is that it?"

    Jackson shook her head. "No, that's not it at all. I'm no witch. You were just so easy to comprehend because you had all of your feelings on full display. It was simple for me to pick up on them and understand you."

    "And what about you, Miss Edwards? Why are you guarding your feelings? Did you not get enough attention as a child, as well?"

    "If you're looking for a sob story, you're not gonna get it around these parts. I don't hide my feelings. Not anymore, at least. I'm an open book. Perhaps I'm just so open that you can't single out any emotion of mine."

    "Are you even human, Miss Edwards?"

    "I'm the most human one on the helicarrier, Mr. Laufeyson."

When Jackson got back to the lab, she made a direct beeline for the scepter and came to a screeching halt when she was met with it. She looked at it, observing its power. Timidly, she nudged her fingers out of her gloves and stuffed them into her back pocket.

    With a slow hand, she took the scepter off of its perch and held it in her hands. Sitting down against the wall and closing her eyes, she tried to get a good grip on it, trying to find its sweet spot so she could get a read on it. A lot of colors flashed throughout her mind—mainly purples, blues, bright greens, and tinges of red. Colors of the galaxy and outer space. There was something that was shining, shining so bright with the heat of a thousand suns that Jackson could even feel the scepter begin to heat up.

    When the brightness dimmed, something yellow and gemlike began to float around within the mixture of colors. It was all a blob for the most part and Jackson couldn't quite get a clear picture because she wasn't clairvoyant. Emotions and colors went hand in hand for her so what she was "seeing" was all of the feelings that surrounded the scepter—or, at least, that's what she thought they were.

    It seemed like there was a bigger picture than what she was getting but before she could make anything of it, the scepter was snatched away and her eyes snapped open. Looking up, she saw Bruce standing over her, scepter in hand and his chest heaving like he had just run a marathon.

    "Before you say anything— " Jackson scrambled to get up off of the floor and defend herself, " —I think I know what's inside the scepter. I talked to Loki and— "

    "You talked to Loki?" asked Bruce, his tone exasperated. Jackson nodded, raising her chin and standing her ground because she would notably crumble when Bruce's tone of voice would get to that range—which was rare and usually never directed at her. "Yes, I did. He didn't give me anything like I thought he would so I took matters into my own hands. Literally."

   "Jackson," Bruce wiped a hand down his face before pinching the bridge of his nose, "the one thing—the only thing—I told you not to do was touch the scepter. And with knowing what you're capable of, the last thing I'd ever want for you is to get hurt by seeing something that might scare you. Birdie, you gotta believe me when I say that I'm dead serious about this, okay?"

    Jackson stood and stared at him, almost deflated with the berating he was giving her, but he still had a point. Funnily enough, as careful as Jackson was with when she would take her gloves off and do a little more than just read people, she was still reckless, jumping in headfirst to any adventure that would give her some sort of adrenaline rush.

    Bruce sighed, catching on as he saw Jackson's eyes flitting from one side of his face to the other. "I'm not lying, if that's what you're looking for."

    "I know, but I wanted to see for myself." That was one of the downsides of being able to read people. Jackson could get a hold of everything they were feeling, even the emotions she didn't want to see. And yet, she saw them, anyway.

    Bruce set the scepter back down on its perch while Jackson put her gloves back on before pulling her into a hug. Automatically, like clockwork, Jackson wound her arms around him as she buried her nose into the crook of his neck. She let out a sigh of content as he squeezed her a little tighter, feeling one prominent emotion between the two of them—safety.

    "I always seem to be interrupting something when it comes to you two" the sound of Tony's voice is what pulled them apart.

    Jackson rolled her eyes and huffed out a laugh. "Yeah. Perfect timing on your part. But, uh, I think I know what's inside the scepter."

    "Do you now?" Tony asked, quirking his brows, his interest piqued. His face lit up like a child's when they realized it was Christmas morning as he egged Jackson on to continue.

    "I think there might be some sort of gem inside of it. Maybe that's how Loki managed to control Barton and Selvig."

    "And you know this how?"

    Jackson raised her hands and wiggled her fingers. Tony nodded as if he seemed to get it. "Ah. Your magic touch. Did you know that Eagles went ahead and wrote a song about you? Yeah, this really catchy tune called 'Witchy Woman', I think."

    "Very funny. Didn't I confirm your suspicions about S.H.I.EL.D, though?"

    "Sure you did. But beneath my suave and humorous personality is the constant existential dread that my arc reactor is gonna give out and that I'm gonna end up in the ground earlier than I expected. So you were right about something, but it probably wasn't that. Can you pinpoint emotions?"

    "Um, I tried it on Loki and I saw that he was doing all of this for the lack of attention he got when he was a kid." Jackson shrugged. "You know, typical teen phase rebellion behavior. Although, he seems a little old to be doing that. Unless Asgardians have a different life expectancy than us. They are gods, after all. Anyway, I'm rambling."

    "It makes me wonder why your parents didn't name you Brooke," said Tony, casually glossing over the fact that Jackson talked to Loki because, at this point, nothing really fazed him.

    "I, for one, happen to find it adorable. It lets me know that you're always thinking about something, even if it is a little. . .odd at times," Bruce piped up and Jackson flushed at that, a soft pink rising up to her cheeks. Bruce looked at the two of them, surprise coloring his face. "Did I say that out loud?"

    Jackson nodded slowly, still unable to form words because she was still a little shocked. When it came to being deprived of affection, hearing even the tiniest of compliments got Jackson a little stuck in her place because she didn't know what she had done to deserve it. All the compliments she had gotten throughout her life were about her work and her work ethic but none were really about her, so to speak. So to hear that Bruce liked her rambling—let alone found it adorable—made her short circuit a little.

    "I hate to ruin the lovely little moment," Tony piped, breaking up the silence that had been building between the three of them because no one was speaking, "but we've got work to do."