—chapter seventeen:
underneath a microscope

"LOOK CLOSELY AND
YOU'LL FIND YOUR
ANSWER."

Jackson spent most of her time in a lab with the weeks that followed the Battle of New York. She attached and hooked herself up to several different wires and machines to help herself get a better understanding of what was actually going on with her. Seeing her veins light up the way they had done while she was on the helicarrier was something new for her. With all the research she had done that night in her apartment, nothing had mentioned glowing veins. They all had mentioned the same thing—enhanced agility, speed, and strength, among other things. So seeing her insides light up like that really threw her for a loop.

     After everything was dealt with and squared away, the team had split up and gone their separate ways, Jackson moved into her new apartment with ease, and then she set up shop in a science lab and hadn't come out since. The floor was littered with a number of recordings and findings, and the tabs on her computer were open with research and papers from different websites and journals. With the brain she was gifted or cursed with (that was still up for debate, even so many years later), she dwindled down her resources to the four links that were currently setting up shop on her browser.

     Bruce offered to help with her research and studies, considering he knew and experienced all of this firsthand (so did Steve, but he was off to Washington by now), and Jackson couldn't have been more grateful for his extended hand. She knew the extent of her abilities, her empathy. What she didn't know was how far they could go. She didn't think that she could conjure up any sort of physical energy but she remembered what her mother had told her, about what would happen if she got too emotional. That was why she was always so level-headed. She was walking a very thin wire and there was no net below to catch her if she toppled one way or the other, exploding with rage, anger, or fear, if she ever got to that point. She had to keep herself in check so she wouldn't risk blowing up.

     "Thanks again for helping me with this," Jackson thanked Bruce as the two looked over Jackson's levels.

     "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't help you find out if you had superpowers or not?" Bruce pulled Jackson into his side and pressed a kiss to her temple, keeping his nose in her hair.

     "A pretty shitty one, actually," Jackson answered jokingly, humming a little as she waited for her results to finish and pop up. "Speaking of shitty, I'm crossing my fingers I don't screw up this machine, either. I can't keep destroying top-of-the-line merchandise, I just don't have that kind of money."

     "I can assure that nothing will be broken here. And if it does, Tony will be more than happy to pay for the damages."

    Jackson let out a huff of a laugh, and before she could get a word out, her results popped up. "Alright, so what are we looking at?"

     "Right now, we are currently monitoring your gamma levels. With the blood sample that we drew from you, we can see how much of the serum is actually affecting you in your day-to-day life. I can only assume that it won't create much of an issue, considering that you only created a small amount to get rid of your headaches."

     "Sure, but what about this?" Jackson clenched her fist and veins lit up again, a stifled blut light from underneath her skin. Bruce's mouth fell open at the sight, never having seen anything like it. He carefully took hold of Jackson's arm to study it, turning it over and back again to see all the way around.

    "How long were you able to do this?" Bruce asked immediately. Jackson shrugged. "I only found out about it while we were talking about Coulson's passing on the helicarrier. I haven't really messed with it since then."

     "Well, my best guess is that some of the serum didn't fully dissolve into your bloodstream and instead fused with some of your blood cells, thus making some of these funky, blue-green fellas. As for them lighting up whenever you clench your fists, you're putting strain on your wrists and it probably activates them by force. But whenever you feel a rise in any emotion, like you're getting to be really irritated or really upset, that can cause a rise in your blood pressure and will cause your gamma levels to spike. Take me, for example."

    Jackson nodded, taking in all of the information. It wasn't like she was terrified of what could be of her own abilities, but opening this door could only lead to so many more questions. And she wasn't sure if she was ready to fall down this rabbit hole just yet. She's had her fair share of moments that made her want to scream at the top of her lungs but she knew she had to keep herself composed in fear of what would happen if she were to let herself lose absolute control for the first time in her life.

     "You never really talked about your gloves," Bruce piped up, pulling Jackson out of her thoughts in the process. "I remember all you said was that they kept you safe. I completely understand if you don't wanna talk about it, but. . ." he then trailed off, waiting to see if Jackson would fill in the blanks. After a moment, she did.

     "When I was six, I saw a little girl fall off of her scooter," Jackson started, beginning to remember the event that would soon change her life, "she scraped her knee pretty badly and she was practically wailing with hurt.

     "And I don't know what it was, but I just felt something in me that needed to reach out. To touch her. It was practically. . .overwhelming. So little me reached out, I got a hand on her knee, and then I just felt this burst of agony in my head. And soon enough, my screams were drowning hers out. And then my mom gets called into the office, gets told everything, and then she shoves this pair of gloves into my hands, like she already knew what was going on. I didn't bother asking, because I think I knew, too. She was protecting me from myself, obviously. But I also think she was protecting me from her. I wouldn't go all the way to say that she thought I was a monster, but I felt pretty close to being one. It almost felt like my hands were cut off.

     "So I just learned to live with it. I learned to cope. I kept myself at a distance, only took my gloves off when I needed to, which was rare. I was good." Jackson looked down and fiddled with the leather that covered her fingers. "But now, I don't even know if the gloves can protect me anymore. They kept from feeling too much but now with this stuff in my veins, it'd be too much for them, wouldn't it?"

     "I wouldn't say all of that, birdie."

     "But what if it's true? Would I be able to control it like you can?"

     "With time, and practice, you can. Maybe even you can get out ahead, learn to tap into it and turn it off when you need to. You've got a whole team right behind you. You're not alone anymore, Jackson."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

woo! brand spankin' new chapter !!

who else cheered

i'd consider this a filler of sorts, a little more info about how some of the serum got stuck in her veins and why they light up sometimes (which i really should look more into—and i will with the upcoming aou chapters that take place within the avengers  tower while bruce, tony, and jackson run tests on the scepter (jackson being moral support, more or less))

crossing my fingers the future chapters (excluding the drafted ones) turn out to be at least a little longer, somewhere in the 1500 word range bc i just don't wanna leave you guys hanging for so long only to be updated with only 1200 words but at the same time, i updated anyway so you get what you get and you don't get upset !

tell me what you thought ! what you liked, anything confusing i can help clear up, something that made you giggle and kick your feet, anything ! comments and feedback are always appreciated <3