~ ~ Alex ~ ~

​​Josh's brows slanted inward. "Done holding back?" he repeated my words back to me.

My hands clenched and unclenched. "Yeah, Right now. I want to take this in the direction we both know it's heading."

"You mean right now? Just with us two here?" His eyes held a mix of heat and hope.

"Yeah." My hand gestured between us. "Right now. This is about you and me."

"So you're saying we don't have to wait till later? When Ivy gets here?"

I shook my head. "I wanted Ivy here because—" I stopped and tried to think of a better way to explain it. "—I was thinking about this all wrong." Our conversation from the kitchen came to mind. "You told me that what you feel for me is separate from Ivy and it would still be there without her here with us, yeah?"

"Yeah," he answered, nodding for me to go on.

"And I want that too. I don't want to feel it's wrong, just it being the two of us. Not that I've changed my mind about it being the three of us either. I mean, that feels right. Ivy is right for us." Grumbling more to myself because I was shit at explaining things. "Am I making any fucking sense here?"

"You think Ivy wouldn't like us fucking without her?"

Maybe? Or that's the way I had been thinking or maybe I'd just been using that an excuse because I'd been shit scared at fucking this up."What I'm trying to say is you're just as important. This. Us. It means something to me too."

And right now I wanted this moment, our first time together, to be about us.

Maybe it was selfish, but I wanted it all to myself. I didn't want it on display for anyone else to dissect.

This was about me accepting who I was and what I wanted. And what I wanted was standing right in front of me.

Josh was looking at me now, biting back a face splitting smile.

"I'm all in, Josh." Yeah, it's not a declaration or love, but it was pretty damn close.

Pushing off the wall, I moved toward him, my hands lifting to graze his abs. Josh groaned softly when I dragged my fingers over his ribs, sucking in as I flattened my palms and teased over the hard-planes of his chest.

Not wanting to rush, paying attention to every smooth surface, the increase in his breathing, the heat that was building between us.

I touched him everywhere, my fingers roaming over this torso, up to his shoulder and back down. I wasn't teasing, or wanting to dominate him in any way. I just wanted to enjoy this new side to us and the muted rumbles passing through Josh's chest as his eyes closed, said he liked it, enjoyed my attention, the closeness.

...Until I wanted more.

Whilst his eyes remained closed, I leaned in and licked his nipple. Circling the small raised bumps with my tongue before grazing it with my teeth.

"Fuck, Alex," he hissed with his hand moving to my head when I nipped a little harder.

He didn't hold me in place. It was as if he wanted to ground himself. His muscles coiled tight, and I looked up at him and his eyes opened and we held each other's gaze for a moment before I shifted and his lips met mine.

I growled, the leash on my hunger snapping. Pushing him back a little, I kissed him with a ferocity that had been building since leaving the graveyard, most likely even before then. Proving to myself there was something deeper, far more complex than anything I'd felt before.

It was overwhelming, but in a good way.

About fucking time... the voice said, and I nearly stopped to laugh as it was the first time me and it agreed.

It also flipped that switch and I became the aggressor, my tongue hot and hard, wanting to lick and taste every inch of his mouth and my hands moved to his shoulders, holding him in place, backing him against the tiled wall.

Josh groaned low in his throat as he accepted my weight, pinning him in place as his tongue not as forcefully met mine, tangled but ultimately gave in.

My hands shifted to grip his arse, fetching us closer, our hard cocks trapped between us.

Could he feel my desperation? My need?

Rolling my hips, my cock happily rubbed up against his.

"Oh fuck, keep doing that." Josh said in a harsh whisper as I slipped my hand between us and gripped both our cocks in my hand, now thankful for huge hands.

Josh pumped his hips, fucking my fist in rhythm to my tongue, moving in and out of his mouth. My other hand moved up into his hair, yanking it firmly.

"Put your mouth on me, Pretty boy," I rasped my voice low and then even lower. "You're gonna suck me for a while and then we're getting out the shower and I'm taking you to bed. Yours or mine, don't fucking care, but there I'm gonna bury my cock inside your arse." 

Pulling back, Josh's eyes glazed over. "If you have any problem with this, then now's the time to speak up."

"I think about you, me, all the fucking time, Alex. I'm not stopping anything."

I nodded once, stepping back freeing the hold of her cocks. Josh met my gaze briefly, then leaned in, pressing his mouth to my overheated skin as he lowered to his knees, dragging his tongue over every rigid muscle along the way until my cock hovered at his lips.

It's not the first time we'd done this, but weirdly it still felt new.

Was it because I didn't have any doubts now? He was what I wanted?

Josh gripped the base of my thick shaft, sliding his hand up, down, again and again, before he tongued the swollen head.

"Fuck, yes," I moaned. "Oh, fuck ... that mouth, pretty boy."

Josh sucked me in deep. He licked and teased the spots I'd told him I was most sensitive.

He was taking his time, and I was good with that.

Well, until I wasn't.

Slipping my hand into his hair, I pulled him off my dick, and he stared up at me as my chest rose and fell. I was already riding the edge between euphoria and ecstasy and we hadn't got to the main course yet. "Up," my voice was much deeper.

Josh got to his feet and ran his hands over his hair, slicking it back from his face as the water rained down on us.

I loved the way he was looking at me, eyes lit with heat and hunger.

Josh opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't give him the chance as my mouth slammed into his. Not breaking the kiss, I latched on to Josh's hair again, gripping harder this time, and his body surrendered.

Our tongues thrashed as we consumed one another. I wanted more of it. More of this man. My hand reached out and flicked off the shower and, pushing the door open, we moved together, not even bothering to towel dry. Blindly we kept moving, hands slipping over each other's wet skin, needy and desperate.

My bedroom was the closest, and I stopped kissing for a second to push him inside.

My body was tight with anticipation. "Tell me," I said, still leading, backing him toward the bed.

His breaths matched mine as he asked, "Tell you what?"

"That you want me—" I moved quick, nipping his lower lip. "—To fuck you."

A rough groan rumbled in Josh's chest, and while it was a green light. It wasn't enough. I wanted a verbal answer. Total surrender.

Josh's words came out gravel rough when he said, "I already told you, I'm yours whenever. Wherever."

I shook my head, determined. "Say. The. Words. Josh." Fuck, was that even my voice?

"I want you to fuck me." Shuddering under the weight of my command, his eyes rapidly blinking, breathing a little harder. "I need you to fuck me, Alex."

"Yeah?" I smirked, feeling more assured, cocky even.

"Yeah," he said, with his eyes burning across my skin, dipping lower and my dick twitched under the attention.

I pushed him onto the bed, flat on his back.

He looked good on my bed, his hard body naked and still wet with his cock jutting out.

"Fuck, we need lube," he said, pushing up to sit.

"No. You stay there. I got it." Walking to my dresser, yanking open the top drawer, I grabbed the unopened lubricant.

Josh gave a half smirk as I undid the lid and ripped out the protective seal with my teeth, spitting it out.

Yeah. We were doing this.

Tossing the bottle beside Josh, I settled one knee on the bed before crawling on and moving over him, forcing him to lie flat again. Our mouths crashed together again, teeth clattering as the hunger ramped even higher. Josh banded his arms around me, wanting me ever closer. Hot skin against hot skin. My lungs had to work overtime to keep up with the fire and adrenaline pumping through my body.

We both groaned out at the same time.

Our kiss seemed to go on forever until I decided it was enough. Easing back, I pushed up and kneeled between Josh's legs.

Josh watched, eyes wide. Cheeks flushed, lips wet.

Fuck, he looked sexy.

"Lift your knees and let them fall wide, like when I watched you fuck yourself with the dildo."

One nod and he did as I asked.

"Now, wank off. Slowly."

Josh's hand slid down and wrapped around his cock, stroking leisurely as I reached for the lube and squeezed a generous amount into my hand. I knew he liked the burn. But hurting him, whilst I was still figuring this shit out, being my first time, well, that wasn't on my list of things to do.

Next time, I could focus on his needs both as my lover and him being a submissive.

And if I was honest, I'd like Ivy to show me a few things. Because I wanted this to be good for Josh. He's said a while back, he enjoyed sex, but until Ivy, he'd never gotten much out of it.

That was about to change.

I would get off on him getting off and then later, we could play my way when I knew how far to push him.

Our eyes met. And as well, the lust and heat between us, there's something else too. His expression reflected everything I was feeling right now.

Hand slick, I trailed a finger over his knuckles and he paused. "I don't remember telling you to stop!"

His hand moved a little faster, and I bit back a growl, letting my hand move south, over his smooth balls... lower to graze over his taint.

Josh let out a moan, wetting his lips. "Fuck, Alex."

"You want this, Pretty-boy?" My other hand gripped my dick. "Want me to bury my cock inside this tight hole? Fuck you till you can't see straight, huh?"

Josh was stunned for a second, before grinning and saying. "Give it to me, Alex. All of it."

And yeah, I might want to fuck him, but it's the closeness I crave to. Closer than any two people could be.

This wasn't just fucking. Not for me, especially as I could now happily admit to myself what this was between us.

Josh sucked in a breath when he felt the tip of my finger rim his arse-hole and I wondered how I would react if this was the other way around?

Because just this was mind-blowing for me.

My eyes locked onto Josh's when I pushed one finger inside and he lifted his arse, slightly accepting my thick finger.

"Fuck, yeah," he groaned, whilst pushing down on my finger, seeking more.

Pulling it out, I pushed it back in.

"Alex... fuck, please more."

I liked hearing his begging, needy voice.

So I gave him more, sliding in two fingers, fucking him slow and deep, stretching him.

"Need more," Josh whispered, his hips rocking, urging my fingers to slide deeper.

His arse gripped them tightly, the smooth walls relaxing as I sank them further. He looked so fucking good laid out for me. Wanking and completely at my mercy and begging for more.

Admiring every sleek, sexy inch, my stare stopped where my fingers were thrusting in and out.

"I'm gonna love burying my cock inside you." Blood roared in my ears as my heated lungs burned through oxygen.

"Christ, Alex. I'm gonna come," Josh stopped pumping his dick, gripping the base tightly to stop himself.

"No you wont. You'll wait for me."

The muscles in my chest and arms flexed. It was taking a lot of self-control not to just ram my dick inside him and race to the finish line.

"Fuck!" he grit out.

I understood his need.

"You're killing me here, Alex. Please fuck me already. I need your dick!"

He let go of his dick and it sat on his abs leaking pre-cum all over the place as he shifted his hips and raised his knees to his chest.

Next time, I would drag this out, but right now we're both too wound up and waiting would shred us both.

Grabbing the lube again, I drizzled it over my cock and pulled my fingers free of his arse to lather myself up because once I was inside him; I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself.

My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I gripped my cock and angled myself toward his greedy, eager hole. I pressed my head against the puckered skin and felt all my pleasure receptors kick in. My dick got harder, swelling in my hand.

Josh's body relinquished control, and I eased myself in, watching in rapt fascination as his hole sucked in my dick. "Fuck, Josh."

"Good?" he asked?

"Good!?" It was the fucking hottest thing I'd ever seen. "Fuck, if I knew it would be like this, we could have been doing this ages ago." I pushed my hips forward, half my dick now inside him.

Josh grunted, "Fuck. You feel good too, Alex."

I breathed in and hissed out as the tight hold he had on me was almost bordering on painful, but I kept pushing in.

Soft moans rumbled in my chest. I was nearly panting, my skin slick with sweat and I pushed in the last inch.

"Fuck Josh." He was perfect. "You feel so fucking good squeezing my cock."

I planted my hands on either side of Josh's head and stared down at him. For the last couple of weeks, I'd woke up with a raging hard-on thinking about this. But that had been fantasy and reality beat it hands down.

I shifted my hips to pull back a little and then pushed back in. My dick throbbed inside him as he moved his legs onto my hips, his feet digging into my arse.

"Oh, fuck..." Josh's eyes closed.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" asking through gritted teeth.

"No. Don't stop."

My thread of control snapped. I pushed in deeper, retreated, letting him feel the entire length of my cock every single time.

Never in my life had I imagined I would be here, fucking Josh and I was glad I googled the shit out of positions to fuck him where we both get the most of it. That, and I'd wanted to watch his expressions and be able to kiss him.

After a minute, Josh's eyes opened and then rolling back as I continued fucking him slow and deep, trying not to think about how good this felt. But as Josh kept a firm grip on my dick, I was grateful I'd wanked off earlier. Otherwise, this would have been game over by now and I wasn't ready for it to be over with yet.

Josh's hands slid up my arms. I began pumping my hips faster, driving in harder until I was fucking him, the bed rocking beneath.

"Christ, yes, Alex..." Josh rasped. "Oh, fuck ... Alex."

My throat tightened hearing him say my name. Kinda liked, no, loved hearing it fall from his lips and the way he said it had my balls aching to let go.

"Wank off again." I kept up the pace with punishing thrusts as his hand moved between us and I savoured each one of Josh's grunts every time I bottomed out inside him, and the sexy hiss when I pulled out.

I was all but lost to the sensation, overwhelmed by how good this felt. It was fucking incredible.

Slowing up just a little, I dipped and sealed my mouth over his, holding myself there as I slid all the way in and pulled out, repeatedly.

"You feel so fucking good," I whispered against Josh's lips. "Tight. Hot. You want me to come inside you? You want my cum, pretty-boy, huh?"

Josh's hand jerked harder on his cock. "Yes. Fuck. Do it, Alex."

"You want hard? Or less... hard?" I grinned, giving him a taster of both options, slamming my hips forward, then dragging my cock out slowly.

"Oh, fuck." Josh panted roughly, lifting his head to meet my mouth.

I kissed him hard, impaling him again and again. Slow, then faster.

"Fuck... fuck, I'm going to come," Josh warned. "Alex ... oh, fuck ... that feels..."

Picking up the pace, slamming my hips down. I worked him with shallow, deep strokes until Josh's head arched back, and he cried out my name as his cum landed on me and his abs, spurt after spurt as he shuddered, forcing him to clench down harder on my dick.

Now it was game over for me too as I drove home one last time and let go, coming so hard, I might have blown a blood vessel, or two, as my head collapsed into the crook of his neck breathing in his smell as Josh's chest rose and fell with mine, our skin sticking together.

Josh mumbled something through the haze. I lifted my head, "Huh?"

"I said," he gulped. "Why weren't we doing this years ago?" A slow smile spread across his mouth.

A grin lifted the corner of my lips. "Better late than never."  My cock slipped from his arse and I fell next to him, easing out a tired breath.

There was no going back now. Not that I wanted to.