~??? POV~

When Hoseok called me to tell me y/n was in labour we both drove to the hospital. We couldn't be seen and I knew out of the two of us I had no right to be there but I couldn't help it. I wanted to make sure they would both y/n and my son would be okay.

Hoseok didn't receive the call himself but he's been secretly tracking y/n, Jennie and Mia's phones and computers. Especially around y/ns due date so when he heard Mia had called jennie to meet her at the hospital we both knew it was time.

We've both been trained on how to enter a building without being seen since we actually will be doing more than just normal business that would just be our cover. So getting in the hospital undetected was easy we just had to think of a way to get close enough to y/n to know what's happening with her. The only thing that came to mind was to find doctors scrubs and mask as well as a hat to cover most of ourselves and walk around the hospital.

Walking around dressed as a Doctor was no problem, no one took any second glances or asked questions just a simple nod or hello was all we got from nurses and other doctors as we made our way to the maternity ward where y/n was.

"Mia said she's in room 4." Hoseok

I only nodded. I was so nervous about even being here, there's a very small chance we would get caught but it's not impossible. It's even greater if y/n, Mia or Jennie see us. They might recognise us and it's been two months since the two of us had seen any of them in person.

As we walked along the corridor of the maternity ward after coming out the elevator my heart was literally doing somersaults in my chest. Judging by the multiple groans and shouts from some of the rooms y/n is not the only woman in labour.

Out of panic I stopped and grabbed Hoseok as he was looking around for her door number.

"What's wrong?" Hoseok

"I don't think I can do this. I shouldn't even be here in the first place."

He sighs and grabs my shoulder.

"Let's just find her room, see if she's okay and the baby and then we'll leave. Okay?" Hoseok

I shook my head.

"I can't. I should leave."

I turned to walk back they way I came but he just grabbed me by the arm to stop me going anywhere.

"No, you're staying here. This would our last chance to see them for a very long time so if this our time now we're BOTH going to take it." Hoseok

He stared me dead in the eyes. I could only see his eyes since the mask covered most of his face but I wouldn't need too his tone was more evident that he was dead serious. And I know he's not wrong about this.

"You'll regret it if you don't at least see him for the first time." Hoseok

"You shouldn't be helping me see him. I have no right to see him."

He nods just once.

"That may be true but you forget I love you like a brother and what she doesn't know won't hurt them." Hoseok

"But she's your best friend too."

"She is but like I said she doesn't know." Hoseok

He tugged on my arm and started walking, pulling me with him.

"Let's go find room number 4." Hoseok

I sighed and started counting the numbers on the doors and next to each door was a window showing the inside of the rooms. Some had their blinds closed and some didn't.

"God damn it where's room 4?" Hoseok

He scratched the top of his head through his hat and while I cluelessly shrugged.

"Excuse me?! Where's the Doctor?!"

Just a little further down the hall Jennie was standing half in and half out a rooms door. Her eyes searching the place until her eyes landed on us. I froze not sure what to do and I felt Hoseoks grip on my arm also tense. We're screwed.

She marched her way down the corridor to us and all I wanted to do was run. Just when she was close enough to touch us that's exactly what she did she grabbed the front of scrub that I had on around the chest area while she too had Hoseok in her grips.

"You two have to go in there and check on her! She's getting worse!" Jennie

She drags us along with her and just waiting outside the room on two single chairs was mias parents, they must of driven them here. I nodded at the two adults just as Jennie pulled us into the room.

She let the two of us go and I couldn't move upon seeing y/n clearly in pain as she groans, scrunching her nose and deeply frown. She was holding onto mias hand and I really wished that was me, but it wasn't.

"I found these two doctors." Jennie

She pointed at me and Hoseok. I had no idea what to do, all I could do was watch y/n, stare at her.

"They look a little young for doctors. Where did you find them?" Mia

"Outside in the hall." Jennie

Hoseok clapped his hands together like he had been snapped out of his panic state and walked over to the heart rate machine in the corner. He had to manoeuvre himself around Mia to get to it but he did when she moved to the side slightly not letting go of her hand.

I decided to make a move to a clipboard at the end of her bed and pick it up to skim through it. I had no idea what I was looking at but I did read some information about the progress of her labour and maternity notes from throughout her pregnancy. I didn't know much about it but reading that her pregnancy went smoothly and the baby seems to be of right weight up to date, made me happy to know.

"Ah, shit it hurts." Y/n

I looked up to y/n on the bed, she doesn't usually swear much but it's amusing and cute when she does. It's like her voice doesn't suit the bad language.

"That's perfectly normal."

"You think!" Y/n

She spat, glaring at me. Thankfully she doesn't recognise me at all, maybe her pain is distracting her from the realisation of who I am.

"Everything looks good over here so far." Hoseok

He was checking the notes of the heart beat. I don't know if it's y/n heart rate machine or the baby's and I know if I was to ask right now in front of everyone they would know I'm no real doctor.

"How are things progressing in here?" Doctor

A Doctor came in with all smiles but stopped when he seen the two of us staring back at him.

"Hello, hows the patient?" Doctor

"In pain! Make it stop! Please! I can't keep doing this!" Y/n

"But your doing so well y/n." Jennie

"Doctor she's having contraction after contraction. She isn't getting a break!" Mia

He nods and comes to stand by me, looking down at the notes in my hands.

"I may need your help doctor." Doctor

I widen my eyes at him, I couldn't do that. I can't do that.

"I can help doctor." Hoseok

Thankfully he comes to the rescue and the doctor nods to turn around and grab some plastic gloves.

"I'll need both of you here and no more people. Just us and that's it. Miss y/n I'm going to have to check how far you've dilated okay?" Doctor

I place down the notes back to where I got them and followed the doctors lead by grabbing gloves too and Hoseok did the same. If we're going to stay here I need to stay clear of Mia and Jennie.

"Y/n I need you to spread your legs apart for me but bring the heel of your feet together." Doctor

I turned away as y/n nodded and did what was asked.

"But tell me if you feel a contraction and I'll have to stop, okay?" Doctor

"Yeah." Y/n

She sounded exhausted and if there was any way to to ease her pain and take it away from her I would. I made eye contact with Hoseok who stood next to the Doctor. I tried to express to him that I'm scared shitless to be here and that we should leave but he lightly shook his head once and looked away to the doctor.

"Okay! Y/n your ten centimetres! It's time to get ready to push!" Doctor

My heart dropped while I watched y/n throw her head back against the pillow and Mia gently stroke the top of her head.

"Thank god!" Y/n

"Oh y/n your little boy is finally coming!!" Jennie

She jumped up and down clapping her hands to walk around the bed and take y/ns other hand.

"Okay Doctor I need you to pull up that tray over there and you Doctor." Doctor

He pointed at me.

"Prepare the bed over there ready for delivery. We'll need to check babies weight when he arrives." Doctor

I nodded and turned around to see a small baby bed in the corner. It looked already made with a sheet on the mattress and a white thin covers folded neatly around the end of the bed.

"Okay y/n, I need you to start pushing when you feel your next contraction." Doctor

She immediately started pushing and I picked up a white towel that was folded to the side of me and handed it to Hoseok. I've seen in movies babies being wrapped up when their born so maybe that could be used to wrap him up.

"ARRGGHH!!" Y/n

She was so loud I flinched at her shouting. For someone soft spoken most of the time she had one set of lungs on her.

She continued to push for a fair while and she was balling in not only pain but frustration. I know she can do this, I just know she can. All I wanted to do was tell her it was all going to be okay but I couldn't I just had to stand there feeling useless and watch but thankfully her friends were giving her much encouragement.

This was all getting too much to watch and I walked to the machine to watch the heart rate monitor as I swore it made an irregular beep noise. I just focused on the squiggly lines comes through on the screen but a sudden noise moved my attention to the source. A cry, a baby first cry into the world and I swear he was the most beautiful things I've ever heard or seen in my life.

My son.

I quickly wiped a tear an watched how Hoseok passed the doctor the towel to wrap the baby in and hand his small body to y/n, who was smiling and crying so proudly at the baby.

This child may be a product of what I had done to y/n but the joy written all over her face it was like none of that mattered anymore, only he mattered, our son.

"Congratulations y/n." Doctor

"Aw, y/n he's so tiny!!" Jennie

"Look at his hair!" Mia

She fiddled with the top of his hair as I gazed lovingly at him. I felt a tug on my arm and forced myself to looked at the person next to me.

"We need to go." Hoseok

I nodded and went back to watching y/n with my son. We both bowed as we left the room but I didn't want to leave just yet. In fact after a hour passed I made Hoseok wait for me while I headed towards the room they keep the babies for the dads to look at through the window while the new mothers get some rest.

But I know because I'm dressed like a Doctor I can just walk into that room and no one will think any different. I needed to see my son one last time before I left, call it a moment of being selfish but I really wanted to see him.

As I walked into the room I could tell straight away which baby was mine. I just knew it, he was sleeping in his small bed while his tiny body was wrapped up tightly. The temptation to pick him up was real and that exactly what I did but very slowly and gently to not wake him and thankfully I succeeded.

His face was relaxed and he snores lightly through his tiny nose. He looked like y/n but he had my nose and ears. Either way he was perfection in every way, the centre of my life and the gift from a girl that I've loved since the first day I saw her.

It's hard to regret what I've done to her now since this little guy has come into the world since if it didn't happen he would not be here but that doesn't mean what I did was okay and I still have my problems, mentally but sorted with medication. Which is why I may not ever see y/n or my son again and this may be my only chance to meet him, my first and last.

As I held him tightly in my arms I looked at the tag on his bed, she named him Jihyun. I knew she would since Hoseok told me she already picked a name for him and now that he's born my first tattoo that I have booked for next week will be his name. But it'll be in a hidden place where only I can see it.

I couldn't get over how beautiful he is to me, he's everything in the world. His hair sticks up at the top and I couldn't help but brush my fingers through it and brush my fingers gently down his forehead to his nose. He shook his head side to side and it made me smile at even the tiniest movement he made was just breathing taking to watch. He already made me proud to be his father, a father he will never get to know.

"Pst, hey man we have to go." Hoseok

He whispered yelled from the door and I nodded still not taking my eyes away from the baby. I gently placed one kiss on his little cheek before slowly putting him back down in the bed. I didn't want to but I had to, I had to go back home. We're leaving the country tomorrow anyway so Jihyun making an appearance today was perfect.

I walked backwards toward the door making sure I keep this to my memory to think of him every day of my life to then finally leave the room much to my heart breaking in two. I wanted to cry but I couldn't find myself to do that knowing it's all my fault anyway.

Hoseok pats me on the back as we begin to walk out the hospital.

"They'll both be okay, man." Hoseok

I sniffed and nodded while taking off my hat and mask and chucking it in a bin in the corridor.

"I know but I'll always think about them Hoseok."

"You will and that's your punishment for what you did........

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.........Jungkook."