(a/n: i've been updating this book a lot lately since it's completely prewritten, and i get excited whenever my favorite parts are coming up soon, so i hope you like my abundance of updates fjsjd)

*tw: possessive partner, panic attacks*

"Hey, Patton!"

"Hi, Roman! Have any cake ideas yet for your big day?" Patton asked. "It's coming so soon!"

"Yeah, we were thinking something elegant with some gold patterns and a variety of frosted flowers? A round white cake with five tiers."

"Alrighty. Any toppers for personalization? Lettering?"

Roman went to ask Abigail for a few seconds and returned with, "We'd love just a bride and groom topper."

"Adorable! I love your wedding theme, by the way. Once the big day gets closer, we'll start on it and keep you and your fiancée updated. Sam will be on the phone shortly to discuss prices, so please hold."

They became friends from doing high school theatre together and from Virgil, and Patton was ecstatic to make Roman's wedding cake from his own company.

When they finished discussing prices and shipping, Roman hung up and Abigail gestured for him to come over. "What's up, Abi?"

"You've been spending more time out than you did before," she said and played with a few strands of his hair with her delicate fingers.

"Oh, yes, I guess I have-"

She pouted and kissed him to cut off his sentence. "You must be so busy with work, babe. Take a day off, you deserve it."

Roman loosened up his tight muscles but as soon as he wasn't tense, Abigail reversed it.

"Or do you?"

"What?" Roman asked, only barely above a whisper.

"I've actually been wondering why you're working later now. Are you lying to me, Roman?"

The man's eyes widened. "No!"

"Look into my eyes and tell me it's just work."

Reluctantly, Roman did as she ordered. "It's just work. Nothing else is happening, Abi, you're the only one I love. I'm making a commitment to you."

Her cold stare was the embodiment of the sound of knives being sharpened.

If he broke eye contact, she would surely use it against him, but he didn't know how much longer she was going to look at him like that.

He was like a tiny puppy under her control.

She blinked and her eyes seemed to be five shades lighter, sparkling even. "Okay! Love you, baby."

God, the Decker family is just the definition of duality, aren't they?

"But..."

"Hm?" She went quiet.

Roman, what the fuck? You're asking for death right now, and it's too late to turn back.

Just tell her the truth.

The full truth.

No.

Yes.

No.

"What is it?" Her voice was like honey when she was Abigail, but like nails on a chalkboard when she was Abigail.

"Um..."

"You can trust me," she cooed. "Whatever it is, I love you."

"I-I've also been going out with friends like Patton and Logan. So it's mostly work, but I've also tried to spend more time with other people I care about."

Abigail crossed her arms over her chest. "You're spending time with a gay baker and my gay brother?"

"Yes? B-But, um, Patton is asexual and L-Logan is interested in someone else, and I'm not into either of them, so you have nothing to worry about, honey."

"Logan's the bigger problem here. Why are you suddenly so close?"

"We were really close in high school, it's just nice to be reunited," he rushed all his words in order to keep Abigail from yelling at him.

When Abigail didn't yell, but instead cry, Roman was quick to comfort her even if he hadn't done anything.

She could always make him feel like he did something.

And when she kissed him goodnight, he just felt empty inside.

He felt nothing.

...

I'm not bisexual, am I?

~~~

Roman: i'm blocking your number and socials temporarily

Roman: it'll be back to normal soon

Logan: What's wrong?

Roman: i'll explain later

Logan: What??

Logan: Roman?
❗️Message not delivered.

~~~

Roman: hi i'm back

Logan: What the hell happened? It's been days.

Roman: abi just wanted to use my phone

Logan: What a bitch.

Roman: i told her i was spending time with friends more and she was suspicious of you so i had to make sure she wouldn't get any messages from you while she had my phone

Logan: Why don't you call off the wedding and leave her?

Roman: i can't

Logan: At least you should seek help and maybe get a restraining order.

Roman: no i can't. i need her no matter how much shit she does to me

Roman: it's not a black and white situation like you're hoping it is

Logan: 🙄

Roman: the fact that that's the only emoji i've seen you use with me is pretty fitting and definitely fair

Logan: Thank you.

Roman: anyways gotta go we're learning our dance for the afterparty

~~~

Neither of them talked a lot after that, and the wedding in the chapel was in only a week.

Late at night on Saturday, January 7th, Roman snuck out of the house and rang a familiar doorbell.

"Roman, what are you doing here?" sighed Logan.

Roman could only tear up and Logan's facial expression flipped to deep concern as he pulled him inside and hugged him.

"What did Abi do this time?"

Roman covered his face with his hands in shame.

"Ro... Talk to me."

He wiped his eyes. "I'm marrying Abigail in a week and I've been having panic attacks every day and she keeps yelling at me and then I have worse panic attacks, and I just want to quit!"

That was definitely not something a soon-to-be-married man should say. "Then call it off while you still have the chance. Please don't get married if you can't handle it. You have so much more time to do it with someone else."

"If I tell her I don't want to get married, I don't know what she's going to do to me, and she's made me dependent on her so I can't just move past this!"

"You aren't yourself when you're with her. It'll be difficult but you have to do this for yourself. It's what's best for your health, and you should definitely revisit therapy."

Logan got close and put his hands on the sides of Roman's face. His blue-gray cat eyes that Roman always admired had softened and become slightly shiny. "You don't deserve this. You're fun to be around and you always make me happy. When you smile, you light up the whole room even though you're sometimes dumb and can get cocky. And you're... gorgeous. Does she tell you that? Does she admire every single part of you like you're a work of art? Because you are. But I miss you. You're still here, but for example at that Christmas party, you were 'Abigail's fiancé', not Roman. Does that make sense?"

Roman nodded and sensed the anxiety in Logan's voice as he let his intense feelings bubble over the brim and onto the ground. Logan had never gone into so much detail about how much Roman meant to him, because he'd been afraid. Those thoughts were for him to stay locked up in his head, but Roman seemed to find the key and he didn't even know what it was.

"You showed me how you text her. Frankly, it's insane how you sounded like an alien trying to fit in, or some sort of robot."

Logan stopped momentarily to allow himself to calm down.

"But you're not a robot. You're a human."

Roman blushed at his old words used against him. He said, "But this world is much more like a horror movie rather than a romcom as I'd pictured it. Every day is the same and," he shook his head, "I'm in hell. Sometimes I like to trick myself into thinking nothing is wrong."

Logan brought him to his bedroom. "I want you to relax as much as possible," he whispered. "You're safe here. All your friends are on your side."

Roman succumbed to his desire for the beauty in front of him and indulged in the adrenaline that came from being with a man. They didn't kiss. They didn't touch. Even so...

It had never felt like this with a woman. Not just Abigail. Any girl in his life, even the ones he hooked up with in college before he got back with Abigail.

He couldn't believe how horribly he fucked things up when he called Logan to tell him he was back with Abigail. And when he kissed Logan behind his fiancé's back, he tried to move on.

But there was no moving on.

~~~

"An escape. It's safe here. Well, maybe not anymore."

~~~

"Thank you for being nice even though I am admittedly a prick to you at school. Granted, you do have the ability to be infuriating as shit. But nobody says nice things to me. I rarely receive validation. I just- It may have been unfair to assume everything about you based on Abi, but you understand, right?"

~~~

"Don't die on me, Roman. I don't hate you."

~~~

"Do you even love her? Are you with her to spite me and act as though my feelings are something to play with? You idiot! You know I did want to kiss you in the treehouse that one day but now you're back with her!"

~~~

"So, you're a hero?"

"What?"

"Like, you gave everyone a safe place to stay and then risked your own life to pick up Roman even though his brother could have been close by, and then saved him from bleeding out when nobody else could save him?"

"Yes! Logan's a hero. My hero."

~~~

Seven days.

He had seven days to fix it all.