The next morning, after he had woken up feeling a bit sick, Logan's mailbox held the usual, but also a shiny white envelope with gold lining.

To: Logan Decker
From: Roman Walsh and Abigail Decker

Roman never stopped loving gold lining. At least he still had that.

He opened the envelope and read the letter, recognizing Abigail's handwriting.

Dear Logan,

You have been invited to our wedding on January 14th! Roman said he had a great time catching up with you today and I was going to invite you anyway since you're family (which is why I wrote a more personalized invitation for you), so we both hope you can attend.

The theme is floral royalty, so dress accordingly because people who show up with boring outfits will not be allowed at the ceremony. I have a Pinterest board on men's clothing ideas that fit the theme and I'll have Roman share them with you!

Your favorite,
Abi

P.S. Do you have a boyfriend yet?

Ha.

Nope.

As if he could go to the wedding of his annoying sister and unofficial high school sweetheart. He was starting to regret writing down his address for Roman the day prior.

Suddenly he got a text from Roman. The first text in so long.

Roman: hey, just so you know, you don't have to come to the wedding if you can't deal with all that

Roman: i get it :)

Roman: but if you can come that'd be great. no pressure though. if you don't want to, you have to make up a good excuse for why you can't go so that abi won't kill you

Roman: she's REALLY stressed about this whole thing and she's an even bigger perfectionist than i am sometimes it's kinda crazy

Logan didn't know why he was relieved that Roman still texted all lowercase with barely any punctuation, but he was.

Logan: When the time comes, I'll just tell her I got sick. I appreciate the invite, but I would rather do something else with my time.

Logan: Congratulations.

Roman: so you still text like that and i can't tell if you're mad because usually when people text like that, they're mad but idk if it's that or you're just being normal logan?

Logan: Congratulations!*

Roman: oh okay!! cool haha hope to see you again soon ☺️

Cute.

Roman was so cute.

But that was a thought for later. Logan needed to pay his bills and couldn't miss a day without an excuse. His sick feeling got worse so he called in and said he wouldn't be able to make it.

Great.

Already missing a day and it was only the second day of the school year. For him, anyway. He was actually the replacement for the previous computer science professor who was fired after doing something that got him arrested which Logan wasn't sure of, and that morning was November 2nd.

His students already liked him, and a few had personally told him he was much better than their past professor.

Maybe it was because he was only 23 and teaching a college class.

That might explain why he was getting hit on more than the other teachers, but he never really paid it any mind.

He brushed his teeth, swallowed a few pills to treat his symptoms, and kept a tall glass of water by his bed as he rested after quickly making some oatmeal with blueberries and bananas.

He was actually glad he got to stay home. A day alone to process the absolute fuckery he had witnessed the day prior was what he needed.

Without any hope for the near future, he fell asleep immediately after breakfast, not caring that he still had his glasses on. He was too exhausted to care.

~~~

The next day, while Abigail was getting her nails done in the evening, Roman stopped by Logan's house.

Anxiously, he went up the stairs to the front door and rang the doorbell.

Is this creepy? This is creepy. He's going to hate me. Shit.

Logan answered the door. "Hello, Roman. What are you doing at my house?"

From behind his back, Roman pulled a box and presented it to the other. "Happy 24th birthday! I never forgot the date for some reason, so I decided to get you something."

He wouldn't tell Logan that he silently wished him a happy birthday every year even when Logan stopped talking to him. He wouldn't tell Logan that he almost smacked himself when he did it because he thought he was over him.

Logan accepted the present graciously. "Thank you for the birthday gift. Today is November 3rd?"

"Yep."

"Oh. It must have slipped my mind. You reminded me just now, actually."

Roman couldn't believe one could forget his own birthday. "You're one of a kind, Logan," he said.

Before Logan could reply, Roman looked down at his phone and cussed quietly to himself. "Have a great day! I have to go. Abi doesn't know I went out without telling her and she's going to be home soon. Sorry we couldn't talk longer."

With that, he was off.

Groaning, he closed the door and opened the gift.

A Barnes & Noble gift card.

A note folded in half.

And a stack of small rectangles of card stock tied together with a pretty blue ribbon.

He opened the note.

Happy 24th! I'm sorry for how we reunited. It was pretty weird. Anyways, when we had that thing in senior year, I tried to write almost every day about how things were going.

I don't want you to think you didn't mean anything to me. I promise you, you've always mattered to me, even when we weren't talking anymore.

Sincerely,
Roman

Logan set the note aside and carefully undid the delicate blue ribbon.

Day 1
Trying out this new thing since I'm bisexual now and kinda wanted to write about stuff that's going on. Hope I can commit.

Day 2
Logan and Abi have the same eyes and hair color. I think that's kind of cool. I would have thought they were twins but they're not. They're both assholes sometimes too, but Logan's the good kind of asshole.

Day 3
Me and Logan kiss even when we're not doing something that's... y'know. I wonder if it's because there's something more or I'm just overthinking. Anyways, Mom and Dad won't let go of the fact that I'm with him. They love him way more than they loved Abi.

Day 4
I really, really like Logan. I don't think he can see how beautiful he is. He could rival even ME in hotness scale because HOLY SHIT.

Day 5
I'm fantasizing about an amazing boy and questioning my sexuality, but what's new? But I'm just sticking to bisexual because girls are hot too.

Day 6
I've been crying in my room all day.

Day 7
I should have been more specific. I was crying because I was overwhelmed about the whole Remus disaster and Logan wasn't up to talk since he was in the middle of an argument with his parents. Anyways, I'm still crying.

Day 8
Is this what love feels like? Why does it feel so new?

Day 9
I think it's love.

Day 10
I love Logan.

Day 11
I just woke up from a wet dream about him. What the fuck? Like, it's not weird considering we've done some stuff but I'm confused why I've never had one about a girl since all my desires go into my dreams. Oh well. Maybe one day.

Day 12
So am I bisexual or homosexual?

Day 13
Homosexual is a weird label. It feels wrong.

Day 14
Homosexual.

Day 15
Homosexual.

Day 16
Homosexual.

Day 17
I've been trying to get used to thinking about it. Homosexual. Homosexual. Gay.

Day 18
Nevermind, I'm bisexual. I think I just got confused since I spend all my time with Logan now, but I'm thinking about Abi again. But I love Logan so I dunno? This is so complicated.

Day 19
Performance night is so soon! I'm gonna miss these kids so much.

Day 20
I just shipped some shit to my dorm room at NYU. I'm so excited for college! Even though I'm kinda bummed about not seeing my friends a lot, I'll make new ones.

Day 25
Forgot a couple days. It's been amazing with Logan. He almost makes me forget about Abigail.

Day 26
Am I only thinking Abi because I think I should be?

Day 30
What the hell am I doing? I broke Logan's heart. I feel like the shittiest person in the world, and lower than literal criminals. Seeing that look on his face killed me. He was trying not to cry and when he cried, I was going to cry too because I was the one who made him cry. I spent all this time loving Logan and then couldn't grow the balls to tell him even though he said it first? He was right about the internalized homophobia shit, and now I've ruined everything. What's wrong with me?

Day 31
He won't talk to me. He's walking by me all day and pretending like I'm not even there. I think it's over.

Day 32
I'm such an idiot.

Day 33
I wish I could lie and say I don't like guys but I liked it when he gave me a bj. (TMI? I dunno, these notes are private, so) and I kissed him multiple times and admitted to myself that I'm in love with him, so that's not going to work. So I'm just a bisexual and grade A dumbass.

Day 34
I'm just going to write notes to him now as if he's ever going to see these.

Day 35
Dear Logan,
I'm sorry. One day there's going to be a guy who loves you better than I do and he won't be afraid to show it and he'll never leave just because he's a coward.

Day 36
Dear Logan,
I wonder sometimes if you went through this confusion with your sexuality or if you just knew and decided to go with it. I wish I could talk to you but talking is kind of off the table for us at the moment.

Day 37
Dear Logan,
Is it really over? I don't think I really want it to be.

Day 38
Dear Logan,
You should be glad. You don't deserve someone like me. You're so smart and hot and sassy and you're so adorable when you're being soft.

Day 39
Dear Logan,
I wish high school lasted a little longer so we could fix all of this before we move to different states.

Day ??
It's been a while since I've written so I don't know what day it is, but I met up with Logan in the airport and we hugged and made up. We're going to keep staying friends in college and hopefully he'll be able to visit home during the summer to see the kids. I'm going to miss him so much, but we'll cross paths one day. Fingers crossed.

That was the last one in the stack.

He tied them with the ribbon again and flopped backwards on his couch. His body was hot all over. Never did he think someone could love him so much they went mad.

He got up at a text from Virgil.

Virgil: yo happy birthday nerd you're old as fuck how does it feel being in a retirement home

Virgil: i wanted to give you your gift today but i forgot to varnish it ugh

Virgil: i'll give it as soon as i finish that, i swear i didn't forget lmao

Logan: That's okay.

He remembered what Roman said about his texting tone.

Logan: :)

Virgil: omg you're a smiley face guy now this is a historical moment

Virgil: bruhh

Virgil: hell yeah you're learning how to text like a normal person now

Virgil: now for the real test- do you know how to appropriately use the 🤡🥵💀🧚‍♀️ emojis

Logan: Nobody uses those emojis.

Virgil: ok wow you've never been on the internet i guess holy fuck

Logan's mind was so full of Roman, he forgot to lay back and enjoy what he actually could have.

He ended up texting Virgil for hours, leading him to tell him everything happening with Roman.

Virgil: that's fucked up

Virgil: but bros b4 hoes amirite

Logan: Agreed.