*tw: beginning to suggest an unhealthy relationship*

Logan stopped by Dunkin' to grab an iced coffee on his way to his new teaching job as a very young computer science professor a year after graduating. He wasn't sure if that was the path he wanted, but it was offered to him and it was much better than a waiter and occasionally doing tech work.

Customer service was hell.

And he could always find a better job if he didn't like being a professor so much.

Suddenly he was pushed to the side.

"Watch where you're going," Logan warned.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to. She pushed me as a joke and-"

The three on the sidewalk gaped at each other.

"Logan Decker?" Roman exclaimed. "Oh my God! It's been so long! How have you been?"

"Very well," Logan replied politely. Shit, he thought. Doesn't he fucking live in New York?!

Abigail held onto Roman's arm and smirked at her brother. "I wish we'd kept in contact!"

Logan groaned and started to walk away, but Roman stopped him. "Wait! Don't worry about Abi. She's like that sometimes."

"No shit, I'm her brother. I know what she's like," the professor scoffed.

After a beat of silence, Roman changed the subject. "Do you still have my number? We lost contact a while ago. I never changed my number in case you wanted to text or call again, but you never did after the summer of our third year of college, so..."

"Yes. I do still have your number saved. I was going through something." He cleared his throat. "I didn't socialize very much during that time."

"Shocking," Abigail giggled.

"I'm just going to go to work."

"Wait, little bro! One last thing." She held her left hand out and showed him an engagement ring. "I'm getting married to Roman! Isn't it exciting?"

Logan looked at the ring and then at Roman who was smiling at his fiancée.

Who was he to want someone who he avoided for over two years? Roman deserved this. Someone who showed him love and made him happy.

He couldn't get himself to say anything.

So he didn't.

He just walked away.

~~~

Roman's young age of 24 was so quick to get married at. Or was he 23?

Shit, he was 23.

Why was he getting married so young anyway? What was the rush?

Get over it, Logan. It's his choice. He doesn't love you. You had a thing when you were 18 but now you're almost 24. Move on already. Roman sure has.

When he was rounding the corner to go to his car after the day was over, he recognized the voices of Roman and Abigail arguing.

"So I can't be nice to him? God, what is your issue? I proposed to you, isn't that enough to tell you I'm not going to cheat?!"

"How the hell am I supposed to know you aren't going to cheat? Aren't you bisexual?"

"Yeah! Doesn't mean I would cheat on you! I'm bi, but I'm not attracted to every man I see! I would never do that to you. Okay?"

Abigail went quiet before sniffing and letting a couple tears slip. "I'm just really insecure, Ro. I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey. Wait, no, don't cry. Just don't be so protective, okay? I'm never going to cheat on you."

Logan inhaled sharply. He wanted to interrupt them. Say, "Protective isn't the same as possessive and manipulative."

But he thought it wasn't his place. Earlier that day, Roman had treated him like nothing had ever happened between them.

Roman wasn't the same as before.

He was a generic man with generic expressions, telling Abigail everything she wanted to hear and letting her control him. Logan remembered Roman as the emotional yet proud character who could get overly passionate about anything and everything. He spoke his mind and talked shit when shit talked to.

Where was that Roman? How could it have disappeared in just a couple of years?

Whatever.

He sighed and still needed to get to his car, so he walked by briskly, pretending to do something on his phone.

But Roman stopped him. "Hey, Logan?"

Logan turned around. "Oh, hello. Yes?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over tonight, maybe at around 7:30? Abigail is going out with some friends and I think we should catch up on everything and try to become friends again..." He blushed a little and continued with, "I missed you a lot, you know?"

"Oh. Sure. Just text me your address. I'll be there at 7:30."

He wasn't entirely sure how to feel about the whole situation, but he was beyond glad Roman missed him.

~~~

They sat next to each other in Roman's living room.

"The decorations are really nice," Logan said.

"Thanks. Abi picked them. Isn't she great?"

Logan gave Roman the deadliest stink eye the world has ever seen.

"Right," Roman said quickly. "I keep forgetting about it all. It's like we're-"

"Strangers? Yeah."

Out of the blue, Roman cracked a smile. "I miss that sass. I even miss the way you used to completely hate me. That look you just gave me brought back some crazy memories."

Logan scoffed. "Whatever. What's new?"

"Well, everyone said it's a little early, but I proposed to Abi a few months ago. We're getting married in January."

His generic white guy smile. Plain. Roman was fucking plain.

"What happened to you?" Logan asked. "Why are you so toned down now?"

"We all have to grow up at some point," Roman laughed. "With Abi's help, I grew out of my dramatics for the most part."

"But... You're in theatre. How did you 'grow out of your dramatics'? And what do you mean, with her help?"

"She keeps me in line."

"You're like... you're like a-"

A robot.

Logan never became a robot, but somehow it was Roman who did.

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Why does everyone always ask me that when I bring up Abi? Yeah, I'm super happy with her! She's the reason I don't go to therapy anymore."

"...Wha-"

"Oh, I completely forgot about Remus because Abi encouraged me to 'suck it up and stop crying' and threw away my antidepressants. But she was actually really supportive. She gave me a goal and said that I would stop being so sensitive or else she-" His phone began to ring. "Oh, it's her! One second." Then he got up and moved to the hallway to answer the call.

What was Abigail doing to him?

Did Logan even want to know?

There's something going on, and it's not looking good.

"Okay, I'm back. She wanted to know what to make for our anniversary in a few days."

"That's, um, nice. But can I ask you something? It may come off as strange but I really wanted to know."

"Of course. Anything."

"Are we going to pretend forever that nothing happened between us when we were in high school? Was that just nothing?"

Roman's mouth opened a little and he laughed nervously. "Logan, it's been, what? Five years? A little over five years? I'm getting married. We were 18, and we've both grown up since then. I'll admit, I had feelings for you, but I was too afraid and I-I let you go without having you know how much I- y'know, felt for you. I can't say the actual words since I'm engaged and all. If this is the answer you wanted, you were right. I did feel the same way for you. Five years and you ignore me for two and now you ask me this? It's unreasonable."

"I can understand that," Logan muttered. "However, though I don't want to make assumptions, I have a feeling deep down you don't want to be with Abi. She's using you. She's biphobic, I heard her accuse you of cheating!"

"Listen, whatever you say, I'm not going to leave my future wife for a guy I hooked up with a couple times-"

"Our relationship was more than casual hookups and you know that damn well. Even so, I don't need you to come back to me because I could never force you to feel something that you don't really want, but can't you see I'm worried about you? God! All these years and you're still dense as a brick. You can't let another man care about your wellbeing without putting a 'no homo' after it, can you? What's gotten into you? Seriously! I understand people change, but you're not Roman Walsh anymore!"

"Yeah? Well. Soon I'll be Roman Decker."

"What?"

"Abi wants me to change my last name to Decker after we get married so I'm doing it."

"Abi wants you to? Really! What about you? How do you feel?"

"I want to change my last name. See? Quit being so uptight. She lets me make choices too. Don't make assumptions."

Logan leaned back against the seat. "Fine."

To ease the uneasy aura filling the room, Roman asked, "So what have you been up to all this time?"

"I graduated top of my class while Virgil was my best friend and still is, and then got offered a computer science teaching job. That's about it. I still have crippling anxiety and depression, though."

"That's great," Roman said genuinely. "Not the depression part, but you know what I mean. I remember going to your house junior year and seeing you freak out so badly. It feels so far back but so close, like it was yesterday."

"I feel the same way."

"So, anything else? Any guys?"

"No. Nobody except for you and then you went back to Abigail and I gave up on men altogether. I'm not in the right space to be in a relationship. But it's not like I have my eye on anyone anyway."

"Ah."

Logan leaned his head back and slumped. "Love has failed me on multiple accounts so my plan is to fill the hole in my heart with money. Someday. Fuck, I'm still in debt."

Roman moved a bit closer. "Hey. You're gonna be great."

When he looked into Logan's eyes, he got chills.

Logan noticed Roman's expression and the way Roman's gaze moved down to his lips but snapped back up to his blue-gray eyes. Logan couldn't really read Roman's emotions then.

So he looked away. "It'll take some time. Thank you, though."

"I believe in you. And I really don't want us to be on bad terms. I'm really sorry for what I did, and I can tell you don't like that I'm with your sister. When I told you she changed, she did. She's still somewhat like she was in high school but she isn't hurting me."

"Okay..."

Roman cocked his head. "Why do you look like you're hurting?"

Logan shrugged. "Some people don't get to feel fulfilled. I went to my dream school but I didn't really deserve it, and I have exactly one friend. Virgil's great but I wish there were other people in my life. It seems like everyone has a circle except me."

Roman didn't know if he could function if he only had one friend. "I'll be your second friend."

The older one forced the corners of his lips upwards a little. "Thanks."

"And why don't you think you deserved MIT? You were our valedictorian. You did a difficult group project that I, admittedly, should have helped you do, by yourself. You did community service and you're good with kids and you think they shouldn't have accepted you?"

"Was I valedictorian because I'm brilliant or because our public school was filled with people who could barely do inequalities?"

"I still can't do inequalities," Roman chuckled. "But to answer your question, both."

Logan's head was tilted down.

Roman put his hand out and tenderly moved Logan's chin to look at him again. "When you stopped talking to me, I didn't know what to do with myself. You were the only person I felt safe to tell everything to. I could be the most real with you. So when I tell you I miss you so much and you deserve so much better, I fucking mean it."

"I missed you too. Going to the treehouse with you was the only thing I really looked forward to when Janus... you know."

The engaged one suddenly hugged Logan and squeezed gently, beginning to tear up.

In seconds, he seemed to have a certain thought that caused him to let go and move away from Logan. He dried his eyes. "Don't tell Abi."

"Don't tell her... what?"

"She's going to think I cheated on her," he sighed.

"What the-"

"Okay, let me explain. I'm only allowed to make eye contact and shake hands with another person unless they're family or I'm in a theatrical production and it's acting. Sometimes handshake hugs are okay, like the ones were you grab the other person's hand and pat them on the back. If I'm with a man, I keep my distance, so no intimacy or looking at anything below eye level unless it's for a certain purpose that isn't romantic or sexual. If I break these rules, she tells me off, and it's definitely not fun."

Logan squinted at Roman when he was done talking to see if he was joking. "And you're being serious?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"She's controlling you and doesn't trust you?"

"Well- that's not a nice way to put it. She's a really amazing fiancée, she's just not always kind to my friends, especially my gay ones."

"That is such blatant homopho-"

"Only because she's insecure! Not because they're gay. She's not hurting me. For the last time if she was seriously hurting me, I wouldn't have asked her to marry me. Please, I can take care of myself. This conversation can't drag on forever."

Oh, Roman.

There's no helping you now.