1 year later..

Naina's POV..

Dear Diary,

People say that falling in love is something you have no control over, When it happens all you can do is either accept it or runaway from it...

Affection, Infatuation, Crush, Attraction or whatever they call it, are temporary... But Love is permanent...!

Once you fall in love with someone, all you can see is that person, Their happiness, sorrows, smile, tears affect you lot more than even yours, It's a selfless feeling... and lucky are the ones who fall in love and even luckier if they love you back...

Love is a beautiful feeling...It makes you weak, It makes you strong... It defines a part of you... No matter they love you back or not.. but if you truely LOVE them.. you'll be happy in their happiness... either they are happy with you or without you..

How do I know all this ?

It's been almost 4 years, since Arjun left, I feel like a part of me has gone, Initially I thought it's just an attraction, which will fade away as soon as he leaves...

But eventually I realized it's not just an attraction.... It's certainly more than that... I fell in love with him right there when he... kissed me... Though it just happened with the flow, it meant a lot to me, I know it didn't mean anything to him.. because neither of us mentioned about that kiss, and I have promised myself that I will never mention it either, I cannot risk my friendship with him because of a stupid heat of the moment

Although I feel, what I and Arjun have is going to end soon... I feel, no ! I know that Arjun is moving away from me, and it's just me, not anyone else... The Arjun who didn't like changes, he changed himself, he promised that he will be my best friend forever and now he is avoiding me...

I am really certain that he will walk out of our friendship as soon as he returns, and I will be left with my broken heart and loneliness... And this is how I know I have fallen in love, even if he stays away from me... If he is happy, I will be... doesn't matter of it's without me...

I am doomed... I have hopelessly fallen in love, and not just love, one sided love !

I hope I get the strength to bear all this

Love, Naina..

I close the book and keep it inside my bag, wiping my tears...

YES ! Arjun is changed, he indeed is avoiding me... how do I know ? Here's how...

We would skype chat, once in a week, which has stopped from last 8 months, and it's just for me, He talks to Jai, Sid and others...

Actually I am bit relieved that it stopped, because from last 1 year, all he talks about the girl he liked, the college junior he went on a date with, instead of his day in college.

It hurts, but here is nothing I can do about it, I cannot act possessive, I am just his friend afterall...!

Whenever I would see his  face on the screen, My pain eases, he's very happy there ! So am I for him... But all of it has stopped now... 

This year is not good for me... I am clueless about my future, in career as well as with Arjun...

I did get admitted in my desired college, Rads and Sid were with me too, we are inseperable now a days, and now everything about each other, Of course Sid is unaware about My feelings for Arjun...

It's not like I don't trust him... but what's the point of telling him about someone who I don't have any chance with.... I'm very well aware of the fact that nothing's going to happen between us

I mean... I've seen the pictures of the girls he dated... they were beautiful.

On the other hand there is me, a plain tomboy... or I used to be... so now I'm just a simple girl.

It really pains when the feelings are one sided... You don't even know about other person's perception for you... Moreover you don't want to deteriorate the bond you share with them... So you never express your feelings, which worsens the suffering... That's what my case is... But then... this is part of life... Some get lucky... some don't.... so my love life is literally complicated...

Also I don't believe in dating, so I am happily single, but mentally committed to someone...
Yeah you can pity me

I usually engross myself in books or internet surfing to divert myself, Hardly talk to anyone.... Avoid making new friends, which is why basically I'm becoming an introvert...

My friend circle comprises of  Rads, Sid, Sash, Adi and Jai... well Arjun was there too....

I walked towards the Librarian, texting Rads to come to the public library... I went to the counter and returned the book I already issued, The elderly librarian smiled at me...

'Hello Naina, I'm seeing you after a very long time dear...' he said

'Hello Sharma Uncle, Yeah I was busy with my semesters...' I reply

'I'm sure you would've performed well..' He smiled

'I tried....'

'Which is the key...' he smiled

'Go get whatever you want... I won't bore you now...'

'Oo c'mon Uncle... You never bore me...' I grinned  'I'll be right back to chat with you...'

I roamed around the shelves, strictly avoiding the romance genre, because those stupid fairy tale love stories makes me feel depressed about my complicated love life, I finally found the book I wanted...

I went to grab it from the shelf, just then another hand reached for the same book, we both stopped at the same time...I looked at the person, she was the girl who I usually spotted during my visits here.. she smiled... I smile back...

'You take this copy.... I'll find another one....' She said

'Are you sure...? I mean... I'll read this one some other time, you can have this if you want....'

'No... It's fine... I'm sure there will be another copy of this book somewhere here...' she scanned the shelf

'Let me help you....' I said and we began searching for the book

Soon I found it on the top shelf, I reached it easily ofcourse because my ridiculously long arms.... and handed it to her.... 'Great Height...' she comments

'Yeah... thanks....' I muttered what is so great about it....

'We study in the same college... besides I'm in the Ancient Arts division...' she said

'Really... I never noticed...I'm in the....' I begin...

'Political Science division, final year... I know, you are the mysterious pretty girl who never talks to anyone....' she laughed 'By the way I'm Anushka...' she gestured her hand forward... They were from Ancient History department ? Who cares...

I shook her hand... 'Naina...'

'You come here often right...?' She asked

'So do you..' I smiled..

'Yes.. Hey.. the coffee shop across the street,makes excellent cappuccino... wanna try...?'

'Uh... Yeah sure....' I replied.. she's not bad... Rads must meet her ... this girl is chirpy and sweet as her...

'Excellent....'

'Hey.. ! Do you mind If my friend joins us...??' I asked

'More the merrier..!' She chirped

I chuckled and texted Rads who was waiting outside the library, we waved at the librarian

'See you Sharma Uncle...' we said in unison...

'Byee Girls... Take care... and come soon to visit your old uncle...' he smiled...

'Yeah we will...' we smiled back and headed towards the exit..

I introduced Anoushka to Rads, they both instantly liked each other, we went to the coffee shop and chatted for like hours.....

We giggled & laughed and enjoyed ourselves like the long lost buddies..

Did I say I stopped making new friends ? Well, I don't think so...

See Arjun Thapar ? I can make friends too...

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