Chapter 4: Painting of a Man

"What do you think?"

Bumaling ako kay Ate Michaela at nakangiting tumango. "I think I like it! Thank you, ate." I smiled to her.

Umiling naman siya sa akin. "It's nothing. I'm glad you like it."

Pagkatapos kong makita ang apartment ay kinausap ko na rin ang agent para sa lease ng apartment and to sign the contract for it. Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip pa na kunin ang magandang apartment. It's a nice place and neither too big nor small. Tingin ko ay tama lang para sa akin. It has a couple of rooms so I can use one for my bedroom and the other as my workshop room where I can practice and store my paintings and arts materials. Excited na akong ayusin ang apartment na nakuha ko.

I have lived with my parents for a long time since I was born. Naisip ko na rin noon na bumukod o kaya mag-apartment gaya nito when I reached college. But because Kiah couldn't and should just stay in our house with our parents dahil nga rin sa condition niya para mas mabantayan siya nina Mommy at Daddy. So I stayed with them, too. Although malaki rin naman ang bahay namin kaya may room din ako roon para sa mga paintings ko.

I've been into painting and drawing since I was young. Both my parents used to paint, too. Especially si Daddy. But he just couldn't really pursue it because of his family's business at iyon ang mas pinagtuunan niya ng atensyon niya. Si Mommy naman ay hobby rin ang painting. Siguro ay nakuha na rin niya sa kay Daddy. And my twin sister Hezekiah can paint as well. Pero ako lang ang talagang nag-pursue at nag-enroll sa Bachelor of Fine Arts pagtuntong ko ng college.

"You don't have things for your new home, right?"

Tumango ako kay Ate Michaela. "Opo. Wala pa nga..."

She smiled to me. "Don't worry about it. I'm not busy right now so I can accompany you in choosing furniture for your apartment. Ano? Should we do it now?"

Agad akong napangiti at tumango kay Ate Michaela. Maaga pa nga naman at mabilis lang din namin na-close ang deal para sa apartment. Kinuha ko na rin kasi agad at mabilis lang din ang naging proseso sa tulong na rin ni Ate Michaela. At nakahanda na rin kasi iyon bago pa man ako dumating at nakabalik dito sa Dumaguete. And while I was not here ay pinag-uusapan na rin namin iyon ni Ate Michaela sa phone. Kaya naman mabilis lang.

"Sige po, ate. Are you sure it's all right for you?"

"Oo naman. Don't worry about it. I'm free today." She smiled.

Ngumiti na rin ako at tumuloy na nga kami para mamili ng mga kahit iyong pinakakailangan ko lang muna na gamit sa bahay gaya ng kama para may matulugan din ako mamaya. Bago talaga ang apartment kaya naman wala pa talagang mga gamit. Maayos na ang interior dahil nasabi ko na rin kay Ate Michaela sa phone call bago pa man ako dumating dito ang mga gusto ko sa apartment. At may aircon na rin and other necessary or the basic needs in the apartment. Bale may konting adjustments na lang pero pwede na talagang matirhan. I'm really thankful to Ate Michaela for the help.

"Thank you, ate!" I thanked her. I'm really grateful to her. Ang bait pa nila sa akin.

She smiled. "Mabuti at pinayagan ka lang naman agad ng parents mo na lumipat dito? You still live under their care, right?" She asked.

Tumango ako. "Opo. Nakausap ko na kasi ang Daddy ko pagkabalik ko sa amin at pumayag naman siya. And he's supporting me now." Napangiti rin ako nang maalala ko si Daddy. At least I'm really glad for his help.

"Mabuti naman. I hope you really enjoy Dumaguete, Zeph. Maganda naman dito. At marami ka rin iba pang pwedeng magawa rito bukod sa pag-aaral mo sa Silliman. Mabuti at madali ka lang naman naka-transfer kahit halos huling sem mo na sa susunod?"

Tumango ako kay Ate Michaela. "Uh, opo. Tinulungan din kasi ako ng isang kakilala rin ni Daddy sa university..."

"Mabuti na rin. Naisip ko rin kasi na huling taon mo na pala sa college at lumipat ka pa ng eskwelahan."

Bahagya akong napangiti sa sinabi ni Ate Michaela. "Oo nga po. Ang unexpected talaga ng mga naging desisyon ko sa totoo lang... Pero masaya naman po ako sa mga nangyayari sa akin ngayon..." I smiled genuinely and I really feel happy now. Even after what happened to me and my family...

Ngumiti rin sa akin si Ate Michaela. "Mabuti naman."

At habang namimili na kami ng ilang furniture ko para sa apartment sa pinagdalhan din sa akin ni Ate Michaela na mukhang kilala na rin dito sa Dunaguete na binibentahan ng mga magagandang quality ng mga gamit kahit local lang din. Naitanong ko na rin sa kaniya ang isang bagay. "Ate, si... Noah po ba?" I hesitated a bit at first in asking. Wala kasi akong contact kay Noah. Iyon na ang huli naming pag-uusap sa airport bago niya ako noon pinahatid sa amin. Si Ate Michaela lang talaga ang nakakausap ko pagbalik ko nang Manila.

"Yes, what about Noah?" nagtitingin din si ate ng furniture na nandoon. They also have nice wooden furniture here. Parang maganda ang mga ito at aesthetic din para sa apartment ko.

"Uhm, kailan daw po siya babalik?"

Bumaling na sa akin si Ate Michaela pagkatapos ng tanong ko. "I will ask my husband again, okay? Sila naman kasi talaga ni Noah ang nag-uusap. At tayo namang mga babae." She chuckled a little.

Napangiti na rin ako. "Thanks, ate."

I think I'll be just happy to know when he's back here in Dumaguete, too.

Ate Michaela also told me that she will introduce me to her artist friends, too. There are multiple galleries here in Dumaguete now. And owned by artists or painters. According to Ate Michaela some of them are just like me na hindi rin daw talagang local at tagarito sa Dumaguete. They only moved here when they found the city interesting and found a good spot for their arts and business. Ang iba kasi ay nagtayo na ng gallery and at the same time ay cafe din. It's like arts and coffee. And I think that it could be a good combination, don't you think? I can't wait to visit more of those places soon.

And then two weeks after Noah is in Dumaguete City again. Medyo natagalan din siyang makabalik. I already got used to my new apartment at kung ano-ano na rin ang mga nabili at nalagay ko rito. Including my painting tools that I had it shipped here from our home in Manila. Pinaasikaso lang din ito ni Daddy na maihatid dito sa akin. And I just can't thank him enough.

Tinawagan ko nga rin si Daddy at pinasalamatan.

"You're welcome, hija. How are things going there?" He also asked me.

Napangiti ako habang kausap ko si Daddy sa phone at parang may mainit na kamay ang humaplos sa puso ko... "Okay naman po, Daddy. I already entered the university. Okay din po ang apartment na nakuha ko." I told him over the phone.

"It's good to hear that, Zeph. Mabuti naman. Just try to enjoy living your life there, okay? Don't worry about us here. We will be fine. At ikaw rin. Tumawag ka lang sa amin kung may kailangan ka pa d'yan. Huwag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo. Call me, okay?"

Tumango ako kahit hindi naman ako nakikita ni Daddy. "Okay po, Dad. Thank you, po."

"All right." Dad said before we both ended the call.

To be honest I'm really touched by my father's actions now. I think he's always been this caring for his daughters. Pero hindi ko lang din masyadong makita noon because I only thought that they're just always busy with Hezekiah. Especially na nagtatrabaho rin si Dad at may business kami kaya abala rin siya doon.

But I realize now that I've lived a more comfortable life than most people because of the support of my parents. Nagagawa ko pa rin ang gusto ko dahil sa suporta nila sa akin gaya na lang ngayon na nandito na ako sa Dumaguete. It's a new city for me. But I'm doing fine here because of Dad's support. I can go to a fine university here and have my nice apartment. At may sapat na allowance din ako para sa mga pangangailangan ko habang nag-aaral pa ako rito. So I should always be thankful to my parents despite din sa pagkukulang nila sa atensyon nila sa akin... Siguro nga ay iintindihin ko na lang din that they're just more worried for Kiah because of her health condition...

Kumatok ako sa nakabukas pang pinto ng apartment ni Noah. He just came back here at agad niya rin inasikaso ang apartment niya na katabi lang din ng akin. We're really neighbors. Nakakatuwa rin isipin.

Bumaling siya sa akin na nasa may pintuan. "Hey..." He recognized me.

"Hi!" Tumuloy naman ako sa loob at tiningnan ang nangyayari na roon.

Halos magkasing-laki lang ang mga apartments namin ni Noah. And I even think that he's so humble to stay in an apartment like this—I mean, maganda at maayos naman ang apartment. I just think that for a businessman like him he could have gotten an even bigger apartment or place to live in than this. But he's humble enough at okay na ito sa kaniya to stay in here.

"How's everything going in here?" I asked him casually. We've become friends, right? So I can talk to him in a casual and more friendly manner now. And I don't know why but it already makes me happy just to think that way about us. He's also close kanila Kuya Sith at Ate Michaela who I'm also close and friends with. Nakakatuwa rin isipin that we both have the same circle here, too.

"Fine. The interior is almost complete, too." Noah said looking at some of the men he hired for the work here as well.

Tumango naman ako bahagya. "Hindi mo kasi agad naasikaso, 'no? Kaya medyo natagalan... Pero mukhang patapos na rin naman." I turned to him and smiled.

Bumaling din siya sa akin at bahagya nang ngumiti.

Lilipat na rin siya rito finally after all the work in his apartment is done. For the meantime he stayed in the hotel.

"May naka-ready ka nang furniture? Tumingin ka na rin ba doon sa local shop lang din na pinuntahan namin ni Ate Michaela. They sell good quality and aesthetic furniture there." I said with a smile.

Napangiti rin siya nang bumaling muli sa akin si Noah. "It's fine. I already asked some people to find pieces of furniture for me."

Tumango na lang ako sa sinabi niya. Oo nga pala. Unlike me who had the time to buy my own things for my apartment myself, Noah was a busy businessman. At mas sanay din siguro siya na kumukuha na lang ng tao para sa mga bagay na ganito. And he's also a man. Siguro ay magkaiba lang din talaga ang mga babae at lalaki kahit sa bagay din na ganito. As a girl I find the time to spend on decorating my apartment. And it makes me happy. I love the aesthetics!

"Do you already have some pieces of painting to hang on your wall?" I asked him next. And I'd like to offer some of my own made paintings to him. At libre ko lang din na ibibigay sa kaniya kung magugustuhan niya.

I'm not yet that super confident when it comes to my own paintings. Kahit pa matagal na rin akong nagpapainting mula pa pagkabata. And I also already received compliments with my works so far. Pero gusto ko pang mas lalong pag-aralan ang arts and make more discoveries for myself in it. And maybe one day I could gain more and enough confidence that it would be enough for me to do my own painting exhibit as well in the future...

Iyon ang pangarap ko balang-araw para sa sarili ko at sa bagay na pinili ko ang pagpipinta.

Pero sa ngayon ay parang gusto ko lang din bigyan o regaluhan si Noah ng gawa ko... I just don't know yet if he would like my art, tho...

"Oh. I remember that you like painting. I think Michaela has mentioned it to me, too. May I see your work? Is it up for sale? I think I'd like to invest in paintings as well now." He smiled while looking at me after he just said that about my work...

Napangiti rin ako agad nang makabawi. Agad akong tumango sa kaniya. "I will give to you for free!" basta ko na lang nasabi. Pagkatapos ay bahagya rin akong natigilan sa excitement ko at pinigilan ko rin ang sarili ko. Medyo nahiya na tuloy ako na tumingin sa kaniya pagkatapos.

But he just chuckled. I heard his laughter.

And I think that it was the first time I saw him laugh this close... Bahagyang umawang ang labi ko habang tinitingnan ko siya at narinig ko ang tawa niya at nakita ang maganda niyang ngiti pagkatapos.

Parang ang layo na sa dati kong naalala na mukha niya noong una ko siyang makita... Back then he looked cold... and a little gloomy at the same time...

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyayari sa kaniya nang mga panahong iyon o kung may nangyari sa kaniya...

Kasi pakiramdam ko noon na parang may dinadala rin siyang bigat nang mga panahong iyon... Kagaya ko...

And I just really hope and pray now for us both to heal from it in this new place... Kahit hindi ko naman sigurado kung ano ang nangyari sa kaniya o kung ganoon nga ba at may pakiramdam lang naman ako.

I would like to get to know Noah Irizari more...

"Really? You will give out your artwork to me for free?"

Tumango naman ako sa tinanong niya sa akin. "Uh, oo..." I pouted a bit. "Ayos lang naman... sa akin..."

I saw him smiling more while he was watching me standing there in front of him with my lips curved up and pouting a little. And like he finds me amusing... "All right..." aniyang nakatingin pa rin sa akin at may ngiti pa rin sa mga labi niya.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya. "Do you have time now?" Tiningnan ko ang mga taong hinire niya na ginagawa pa rin naman ang trabaho nila roon sa apartment ni Noah. "You can check some of my work now at para makapili ka na rin doon ng magugustuhan mo for your apartment." I said.

"Sure. Marami ba akong pagpipilian? Am I free to choose whatever I want?"

Tumango naman ako habang lumabas na kami ng apartment niya at papunta na sa katabi lang na akin at lumipat kami doon. "Oo. Pinadala kasi ni Daddy rito ang lahat ng mga paintings ko na nasa bahay lang naman namin noon. Sa loob ng artwork room ko doon. You can check on them now. And yes you can have whatever you want." I said.

"Wow! Nice. What a privilege I have now, huh."

Bumaling ako kay Noah at ngumiti lang sa kaniya. May ngiti rin sa mga labi niya. At pinagbuksan ko na ang pinto ng apartment ko para makapasok kami. "Tuloy ka."

Napatingin din si Noah sa loob ng apartment ko. "Nice. It's clean and the interior looks fresh in the eyes..." He commented.

Napabaling naman ako sa kaniya sa sinabi niya tungkol sa apartment ko at proud na ngumiti. I feel proud for myself. Pinaghirapan ko rin na ako lang itong interior ng apartment ko. And I also enjoyed doing it and working on it for the past weeks that I've been living here. I put together some colors of clean white, some wooden designs furniture, and some green like big plants leaves in my home. And I even painted my own walls in a part of my living room to give it a personal touch of myself. Ganoon din sa kwarto ko. Naisipan ko lang na pintahan din ang mga dinding ko rito.

Dinala ko si Noah sa artwork room ko. It's the other room that I have here in my apartment. It's a two-bedrooms apartment. At may sarili na ring bathroom sa loob ng own bedroom ko. Itong isang kwarto lang ang walang banyo na ginawa ko namang kwarto para sa mga artworks ko. At may CR na rin sa labas malapit sa may kitchen. It's also quite a big and spacious apartment for one person like me. Kaya rin nagustuhan ko na rin agad. And my living room also has a nice view of the city outside. Kita ko rin sa labas ang ilang luma at historic na structure sa labas ng malaking bintana ko. And it's also aesthetic to look at. And yes, I just love aesthetic things.

"Wow..." Noah reacted when he saw my workspace.

Bumaling ako sa kaniya at napangiti because he looked impressed. Malinis din at maayos dito including the whole of my house dahil abala rin talaga ako sa pananatili ng kalinisan at kaayusan dito sa apartment ko for the past weeks since I live here. And I also realized na ayaw ko pala na makalat at wala sa ayos ang tintirhan ko. I never knew before that I would enjoy cleaning a house like this my own house.

"Here are my ready made paintings..." I showed it to him iyong mga dati ko nang nagawa. Talagang pinadala na ni Daddy rito ang lahat...

And before I even realized it ay nakita na rin ni Noah ang kakaisip ko pa lang. Hindi ko agad ito naisip at ngayon ko lang din naalala.

"Who is this person..." He asked me looking at a painting of a man that I used to paint once before...

Tinago ko pa nga noon ang painting na ito naalala ko. Because I didn't want my family or Kiah to find out that I was painting Zach... He's my twin sister's fiancé. At kahit pa magkababata rin naman kami ni Zach at nakasabay namin siyang lumaki ni Kiah, even if we're friends, too. At siguro ay guilty lang din ako because I was the one who put malice on it. Because I was thinking differently and feeling different when I was painting Zach before...

Bumaling sa akin si Noah. Napatingin na rin ako sa kaniya at hindi pa agad ako nakasagot. Sa huli ay bahagyang ngumiti na lang din ako at alam kong may konting kalungkutan na rin sa mukha ko. Nilapitan ko pa iyong painting ko sa kay Zach noon. Hindi ko agad ito napansin na nandito nang naglilinis ako ng apartment at nag-aayos. Maybe because I was busy and preoccupied about just making my place and putting it in order. But Noah just found it now as he was checking all my paintings here.

"It's a..." I touched the edge of the canvas. "It's someone I know..." I just said.

Tumingin ako kay Noah at nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. Nakahalukipkip na rin ngayon ang mga braso niya. And then he undid his arms at tumango naman siya sa akin.

Pagkatapos ay pinakita ko pa sa kaniya ang iba ko pang mga gawang paintings. Tinabi ko na rin lalo iyong painting ko kay Zach. Until in the end he chose a painting that I painted way, way back when I was still a child.

"Are you sure about this? Ito talaga ang nagustuhan mo?" I have to ask him dahil wala naman talagang espesyal sa painting na ito ng isang goldfish lang. I painted it on a small canvas and I was around in my 7th grade when I painted this, I think or even younger. Matagal na. At medyo naluma na nga rin ito.

Noah nodded. "Yeah, sure. It's cute." was what he said about my little goldfish painting.

It's nothing special. I don't even remember why I painted this back then. Wala rin naman akong alaga na goldfish noon even though we have aquarium in our house in Manila. Pero hindi ko naman alaga ang mga isda doon. Siguro ay naging parte lang din ito ng pagpa-practice ko noon sa pagpipinta noong nagsisimula pa lang ako.

Pero tumango na lang din ako kalaunan. If he wants it then I would give it to him. I just told him na pwede pa siyang pumili pa aside from the small goldfish painting. At sa huli ay pinili niya lang talaga iyong mga dati at pinaka-una ko pa yata na mga pinaint noon. And his reason was it's cute. He didn't know that I drew it when I was younger. But at the end I just smiled and allowed him to have it all.

It's nothing special to me at first. Mga lumang napaint ko na rin ang mga iyon. But actually I started to think that Noah made it feel special. I feel like he appreciated the works of my younger self. He finds it cute and adorable. Kaya doon ko na rin parang mas na appreciate pa ang mga dating gawa ko rin.

I always think of improvements for myself when it comes to my paintings. Minsan pala hindi ko na yata nababalikan pa sa kung paano ako nagsimula. Because I must have just been looking ahead and looking forward. And now Noah just made me look back for a while and made me appreciate my old and first paintings.

It's also nice to appreciate the things in the past. That one day could make you look back when you're already in the future. And you will remember all the good memories.

—
Author's note: Chapter 6 was posted on Patreon/Facebook VIP group! Kindly message my Facebook account Rej Martinez to join VIP for 150 monthly membership. Pwede n'yo po ihinto ang subscription ninyo at continue na lang ulit any time. Thank you, po!