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Chapter 3: Neighbors

"Saan ka ngayon nag-stay? Sa hotel pa rin ba?" Ate Michaela asked me next.

I finished sipping on my milk tea before I answered her. "Opo."

"Malapit lang dito sa Rizal Boulevard, 'diba?"

Tumango ako.

"Okay ka lang ba sa hotel mo? If you plan to stay here longer I suggest for you to find an apartment, instead. Medyo magastos mag-hotel for a long period of time." She said.

Tumango naman ako at sumang-ayon. "Pero babalik pa po siguro muna ako sa amin... Pagkatapos ko pong magpaalam doon, 'saka po ako babalik at mag-stay na talaga rito for good..." I said.

Napatingin muli ako kay Mr. Noah and he was looking at me, too. He was listening to me talk about my plan.

Although I wasn't sure yet. Hindi pa ako nakakapagpaalam kanila Mommy at Daddy. Hindi ko rin alam kung papayagan ba nila ako. And this may come out like a sudden plan or decision. But I'm really determined to do it now.

"Okay. That's good. Good luck, Zeph!" Ngumiti sa akin sina Ate Michaela.

Ngumiti rin ako at para na rin sa sarili ko.

Now I realize and I feel like my whole life till now I haven't really made such a decision for myself yet. Iyong desisyon na tingin ko ay gusto ko rin talaga. At desidido akong gawin.

"How about you, bro?"

Napatingin ako sa usapan naman nina Kuya Sith at Noah.

He turned to Kuya Sith to answer. But Kuya Sith said something again. "Or you're still thinking about it?"

"Ano po 'yon..." Napatanong naman ako.

They turned to me and Ate Michaela smiled to me. "Ito kasing si Noah pinag-iisipan din if he would also stay here for good na rin. Pareho kayo! Why not just come back and stay here longer and for good na rin talaga? Kayong dalawa. I mean, we can help in finding you two a good property here, Noah?" She turned to him.

Tumangin din ako kay Noah to listen to his answer.

"I'll see to it. We'll see." was his answer to the question.

Nakita kong parehong ngumiti sa kaniya ang mag-asawa. Kaya bahagya na lang din akong ngumiti.

Pagkatapos ng coffee meeting na iyon naming apat ay nagpaalam na rin ang mag-asawa. They still have to do a grocery shopping for their home. Nakakatuwa sila. I think that they're living a better life here. And maybe I could do it for myself as well soon.

Maybe a new environment in a place where no one actually knows me too can be a good place for me as well.

"Sige, dito na kami. Dadaan pa kami sa supermarket. Okay na ba kayo pabalik ng hotel ninyo?" Ate Michaela asked before getting in their car.

Tumango kami ni Noah kay Ate Michaela. He also answered her. "Don't worry. I'll walk her first back to her hotel." He said to the couple.

Ngumiti naman sa amin si Ate Michaela. "Osige, ingat kayo. Malapit lang din naman ang hotel n'yo rito. Kaya nga lang lakarin. At hapon na rin hindi na mainit d'yan sa may seaside boulevard."

And then we parted ways.

Hinatid pa nga ako ni Noah sa hotel ko. Nilakad nga lang namin since malapit lang naman talaga. May nakasunod din sa amin na mukhang driver niya or bodyguard na rin. May dala rin silang sasakyan kaya alam kong iyon ang gagamitin nila mamaya pabalik din ng hotel ni Noah. Iniwan lang muna nila ang sasakyan nila sa parking ng coffee shop kung nasaan kami kanina para ihatid ako.

I wanted to talk and have a little conversation in that short walk we have back to my hotel. But as usual Noah was just quiet as he walked me back. Tapos ang ikli lang pa ng naging paghatid niya sa akin. That once I was back in my hotel room I regretted that I didn't make even a short conversation with him. I sighed.

Nagpaalam na nga rin ako sa kanila sa mga sumunod na araw na babalik na muna ako ng Manila to talk to my parents about my plan. I don't know yet how they would react. But I'm determined to do this.

I had a flight back to Manila with the help of the friends I already made in Dumaguete. Hinatid pa kami nina Ate Michaela kung nasaan ang sasakyan namin ni Noah na private plane. Yes, pinasabay pa ako ni Noah sa kaniya pabalik ng Manila. Since kailangan na rin naman daw niyang bumalik din sa kanila and he has a business and company too to attend. I yet still have a lot of things to know about him...

We landed in Manila on a private landing, too. Ganito siguro talaga kapag businessman ang kasama mo. He has the connections and the means to it as well. Nagpasalamat ako sa kaniya para sa mga nagawa na niya para sa akin simula nang makilala ko siya sa Dumaguete and we did that camping until now. He already did a lot of favor for me that I wish I could also return to him someday.

"Ipapahatid na lang kita sa driver sa inyo. I have an urgent matter to attend to." He said as we got out of the plane.

Tumango naman ako. "Thank you." I thanked him. I really feel grateful to him. "Sa business mo ba ang pupuntahan mo o sa company mo?"

He nodded. "Yes. I shall leave now."

Tumango nalang ako at pagkatapos ay tiningnan ko na lang ang likod niyang papalayo na sa akin...

"This way, Ma'am." I was assisted, too. 'Tapos ay hinatid na rin ako ng sasakyan na binilin ni Noah pauwi sa bahay namin...

"Zephaniah..." Mommy didn't expect that I would go home today.

Wala rin kasi akong pasabi na uuwi ako ngayon. At hindi rin naman ako talagang nagpaalam noong umalis din ako. Now I'm back home pero para magpaalam lang din. I know that they don't want me here, too.

"Mommy..."

Nakatanggap ako ng isang sampal sa pisngi galing kay Mommy nang makabawi siya. Nang makita niya ako ngayon na nasa harapan na niya. "Saan ka galing?!" galit na sigaw niya sa akin.

Pagkauwi ko kasi sa bahay namin ay nandoon siya at nagpang-abot kami. She's also just about to go back to Kiah na nabanggit na rin sa akin kanina nina Manang na makakalabas na rin daw ng hospital. Medyo nagtagal din pala ang kapatid ko sa hospital siguradong dahil request din iyon ni Mommy because she tends to overthink Kiah's condition. Kaya nagtagal na naman sila sa hospital. While my dad was probably still at work. Maaga pa rin kasi.

"Basta ka na lang umalis? Nawala? We didn't know where you went! Nagpatay ka pa ng phone mo or did you change numbers?"

Tiningnan ko si Mommy. Hindi ba't pinalayas naman niya ako bago ako umalis noon? Kaya nga ako umalis kasi pinapaalis naman ako. Pinalayas niya ako.

"Nagrerebelde ka ba talaga? Bakit hindi ka sumagot, Zephaniah?"

Bahagya pa rin akong napalunok. "I was... I was just... I went to a vacation for a while..." I sighed. And I think I just chose the wrong words again...

Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ni Mommy habang nakatingin siya sa akin. "What? What did you say? A vacation? Seryoso ka bang bata ka? Your sister was in the hospital while you just went away to have your vacation?!" Galit na galit na sa akin si Mommy ngayon. It was obvious.

Madali lang naman talaga para sa kaniya ang pagalitan ako mula noon pa o ang magalit sa akin. While she was all soft to my twin sister, Kiah. Many times I had wondered if I'm really also her daughter, too. Because she treats me differently from Kiah. Although no one can deny it na magkapatid naman talaga kami ni Kiah dahil halos iisa lang din naman ang mukha namin ng kambal ko.

Hindi ko lang maiwasan mag-isip ng mga kung ano-anong bagay growing up because of how I experienced life in this family...

"Wala ka na ba talagang pakialam sa pamilyang ito? How about Kiah? You just don't care about your twin sister anymore?"

"Kayo po, Mommy?" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko.

Natigilan din si Mommy.

"Do you care about me too, Mommy?"

Hindi siya agad nakasagot. And I think it just hurt me more...

"Because I feel like that all you care about is Kiah..." I said as I started to turn more weaker as I let out my feelings I think for the first time, too...

Mommy looked at me later on like she couldn't believe what she was probably thinking about me now... "Is this serious, Zephaniah? You sound like you're jealous of your sister..." she said like she realized something... "Kaya mo ba ginawa kay Kiah 'yon? Kaya mo inakit ang fiancé ng kapatid mo!"

Parang mabibingi ako sa mga accusations sa akin ni Mommy...

When I thought that letting my feelings out and telling them too about my thoughts that I have just kept hidden from them all this time... And this happened. But this happened instead.

Siguro ay dahil nag-expect lang din ako masyado. I thought that I would be understood even somehow... But instead I'm just again blamed and even being accused...

At ang masakit pa ay galing pa mismo sa sarili kong nanay...

Hindi ko na alam sa puntong ito kung darating pa rin ba iyong panahon na maiintindihan din niya ako... Lalo na siya. Because she's my mother. Or does she even try to understand me? Her own daughter. Because I'm her daughter, too. Hindi lang naman si Kiah ang anak niya rito.

Or maybe I just expect too much from a mother, too. I forgot that she's not perfect. Even as a mom. But can you blame me? Kasi nanay siya, eh... She's my mom...

Naputol lang ang pagtatalo namin nang may tumawag sa phone niya at mukhang kailangan o hinahanap na rin siya ni Kiah...

I hang my head low. At hinayaan ko na lang si Mommy na halos magmadali pang umalis para puntahan na agad si Kiah.

Later in the evening Daddy went back in the house. Nakita niya ako at siya na lang din ng kinausap ko tungkol sa gusto ko at planong pagbalik ng Dumaguete at doon na rin ipagpatuloy ang pag-aaral ko. I also told him about Silliman university.

"I think you have discovered a nice place, Zephanie..." Dad said after I told him with a little smile on his face. He used to call me Zephanie as his little nickname for me since I was a little girl.

Bahagya na rin akong napangiti nang konti habang kausap ko si Daddy.

Nagalit din naman siya sa akin doon sa nangyari sa amin ni Kiah. Napagalitan din niya ako. But I appreciate his willingness to listen to me now.

He sighed. "We love you, Zeph."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Daddy.

He nodded. "Of course we care about you. Ganoon din ang Mommy mo. Nagalit lang din kami sa nangyari... At nag-aalala sa kay Hezekiah dahil alam mo naman ang kalagayan ng kapatid mo."

Nagyuko muli ako ng ulo habang kinakausap ako ni Daddy...

"Namomroblema lang din ngayon ang Mommy mo sa pag-aalala niya sa kapatid mo. But that doesn't mean that she doesn't have affection towards you, or that she loves you less. Syempre mahal namin kayo pareho ng kapatid mo. You are our daughters."

And he sighed again for the last time. "Kung sigurado ka na talaga sa desisyon mo, then you can go back to Dumaguete... Tingin ko ay mas makakabuti rin iyon... Para sa'yo. And if you want to study there then I will support you."

Doon nalang ako tumango sa sinabi ni Daddy. "Thank you, po..." I said.

He just smiled a little before ending our conversation there. Because he too has to go to Kiah. Makakalabas na rin kasi ito after weeks of being admitted to the hospital. And I've decided na bago pa man siya makalabas ay babalik na lang ako ng Dumaguete.

I wasn't yet ready to face her again... At tingin ko ay ganoon din siya. And she's still recovering. So I'll just let her be for now.

So I transferred to Dumaguete right away after I had that talk with my dad at nakapagpaalam na rin ako. Although I haven't gotten to talk to my mother again after our last talk. Pero okay na rin iyon... She's also still busy with Kiah, anyway. I sighed.

I enrolled myself at the Silliman University in Dumaguete City. I'm taking an arts major course. I like painting and I've been into drawing too since I was little. Kahit papano ay nasuportahan naman ako ng parents ko sa gusto ko and they just let me study deeper into arts.

"Welcome back, Zeph! We're so happy to see you here in Dumaguete City again!"

Ngumiti ako at yumakap din kay Ate Michaela. "Salamat po, ate."

"Ang bilis mo nga lang nakabalik. Wala pa si Noah. He's still in Manila."

Medyo natigilan naman ako sa sinabi sa akin. Kung sabagay maaga pa naman para makabalik din siya agad dito sa Dumaguete. "Pero babalik pa naman po siya rito, 'di ba?" I can't help but ask.

Ngumiti sa akin si Ate Michaela. "Oo naman. Nag-uusap sila ng Kuya Sith mo. I think he's also moving here. And!" She was about to tell me something good. "Nakakita na rin kami ng dalawang apartments dito para sa inyo ni Noah! Nagpahanap din kasi siya sa amin ni Sith. And guess what? Magiging mag-neighbors pa kayo!" She said.

My eyes widened a fraction at what I learned. "Totoo po?" I even asked to confirm.

"Oo. Sakto rin kasi na bagong gawa iyong building at nakuhanan namin kayo ng magkatabi lang na units. You can check it now. Tara, puntahan na natin?"

"Sige, po. Thank you, ate."

"You're welcome." She smiled at me.

Ngumiti na rin ako at pinuntahan na nga namin agad iyong apartments para makita ko na rin ang we could sign rental contracts as soon as possible para makalipat na ako even before my classes at the university start.