Trigger Warning for r@pe (non-explicit) and mentions of abuse. This story is mainly fluff, cute and a lil angsty at times moments with Mamas Maria and Nat!... But this first chapter has a few heavier scenes.
(I'M SORRY BUT IT WAS GOOD PLOT) 

Of course Maria will have to share her experience with her daughter, as well as both of them talk to their child about their past. But this is probably the heaviest part of the book.
(IDK THOUGH SO DON'T QUOTE ME ON IT)

Also, this does go through the timeline... but with a twist :)
(AND A FEW THINGS CHANGED TO MAKE IT COHERENT)

Inspo from ScarlettsRomanoffs andddddd ENJOY MFs!!!!

I've also been planning this book for a while ever since ScarlettsRomanoffs continuous and practically scheduled posting :) But I thought I had to post now because of Secret Invasion.
HOW DARE MARVEL.

A/N UPDATE FROM MONTHS LATER: this chapter is not the heaviest! Some of my chapters are angsty others are fluffy just as any real work of fiction is! Before each date there's a trigger warning <3 hope you enjoy as I'm very proud of my writing :))

⧗ⴵ🦅🛡

It All Starts Somewhere

OCTOBER, 10th 2004 
TW: small mention of child abuse, mention of death

Maria Hill had recently joined SHIELD after being handpicked by someone in there, though that's unimportant information. She was smart enough to keep her mouth shut and work hard. Because she knew these types of people. She'd be kicked out if she wasn't cautious. She also wasn't dumb enough to try and make herself friendly with the director. She just wanted to do her job to perfection and call it a day. She also wanted to make up for the death of her team in the army. Their faces haunted her at night or when she shut her eyes for a second too long. So she kept to herself, friendliness was never her strong suit anyways.  

After the United States Armed Force she joined this new world of spies, but she was never a stranger to how it was run. After all the rules were: keep your head held high, but not too high or you'll be seen as arrogant. Posture is important, but don't waste it when no one's around. Practice hard, soldier, always do your best. Keep a look out for enemies, but don't be scared to look in the mirror. It's pretty similar to a world with an abusive dad, but of course that's why she packed up and left on her eighteenth birthday.

But someone keeps breaking those rules set in place in Maria's mind. Although she'd been moving up the ranks fast those last few months, someone new joined, Natasha, and she wasn't acting as she should be. It annoyed Maria, but she ignored it to the best of her ability.

Today she'd been asked to be seen in Director Fury's office. Maria hadn't done anything wrong, but that didn't mean her anxiety wasn't high. She didn't know she hadn't done something to ignite her expire, she didn't know what was about to happen.

"Deputy Director, sir? Are you sure?" The surprise was quite evident all around the large office, filled with only two people. 

A smirk rested on Fury's face as he looked at Maria, trying and succeeding to read her. "Sure as I'll ever be, Hill. Who do you think got you into this mess?" Maria gaped, trying to hide a smile. "So, what do you say, wanna be a commander?" 

"Yes, sir. I won't let you down, Director."

"I'm sure you won't."

OCTOBER 15th, 2004

"Oh hello... Commander." Natalia Romanova, newly named Natasha Romanoff, swayed her hips as she entered Commander Hill's office. She'd be lying if she said she didn't find the woman entrancing. I mean, look at her!  Maria Hill is a diligent, hardworking soul, who deserved the spot she now holds. Natasha on the other hand found herself pitiful and weak. She knows how to hide herself, but yet she was only nineteen and trying to build a persona of not caring. She has and will continue to always put herself on the line for the safety of others. Yet she would always not care what people thought of her here, as long as they knew she was on their side.

"What do you want, Romanoff?" Hill grumbled, not looking up from her computer.

"Oh come on, Commander! Look at me." She smiled goofily, trying what, she didn't know.

"I'm far too busy, Agent Romanoff. Maybe another time."

"Is that an offer, Commander?"

Maria glanced up, but couldn't bring herself to look back down. "What are you wearing, Natasha!?"

"It's my field uniform, Commander. Don't worry about it." Romanoff's voice became monotone fast, though she wasn't lying. Natasha had just come back from a mission and was still in her catsuit, though many wouldn't recognize it. One pant leg was completely gone, and the other charred in certain areas. It's entire stomach was gone besides a hanging piece from the fabric barely holding her breasts in place. One sleeve was no longer, well, long, and the other meeting the same fate as the in-place pant. 

Commander Hill stood up, ushering Romanoff to a seat. "You're back from a mission and you look like this! You had an entire team, this shouldn't have been possible!"

"It was them or me. I'm not risking their lives, Hill." She stated that fact like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She thoroughly believed that this - ending up like that - was fine.

"Natasha, what about you!?" Maria was utterly shocked. This was the fearless and deadly Black Widow? A high ranking SHIELD operative from the start... was a kid who thought her life meant nothing?

"What about me?" Natasha responded slowly.

"You matter too!" 

Natasha stood up, ignoring every ache, and succeeding. She walked normally out of the room, only limping when she was in the privacy of her room.

NOVEMBER 25th, 2004

"Happy first Thanksgiving, Natasha! To us!" Both Maria and Natasha had no family to celebrate this American holiday with, so spent it together. Their relationship had grown a little bit closer ever since that incident in October. They ignored the feeling to just lean in and kiss each other, but both desperately wished they could with free will.

There was so much unsaid tension that even Nick Fury could see it. But he knew they'd find each other, and found no reason to interfere.

They both looked down and ate their turkey in silence, and their stolen glances worked almost every time. Almost.

DECEMBER 3rd, 2004

"Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday dear Natasha!

Happy birthday to you!"

SHIELD agents gathered around to wish the former Russian spy a happy first free birthday, but the woman was just happy that that one person was there.

"Thank you," Natasha said calmly. Trust wasn't easy. She envied the people who disagreed. She looked over to Maria but shifted eye contact the second Maria saw her staring.

After the party, Maria stayed to help cleanup. "You're still not as old as me, kid," she said with a laugh as she put a plate with crumbs of chocolate cake into the SHIELD dishwasher.

"I'm literally not even three years younger than you, Hill!" Her voice came out freer than she believed it could. It was just the two of them, and somehow that was all it took to be someone different.

"Okay... so? You're twenty, I'm twenty-two. I'm always going to be better!" 

Natasha giggled, then stopped herself. She was girlie laughing? Who was she? She doesn't share emotions.

Her face went stoic when she realized, worried about punishment and who she was becoming. But then she couldn't stop spiraling, and worrying, and overthinking. She did her best to get herself out of whatever she was in, not wanting to get caught in a flashback or anything of the such, but it was in ill-use.

Maria looked over at her, firstly thinking Nat was playing along. But she wasn't, and when she realized that she rushed over, spoon in hand. She interlaced her fingers with Natasha's, and carefully brought them to the floor.

There was no crying, and Maria was too scared to hold her incase that would provoke something in her friend, so elected to just grasp her hands. 

Soon she felt quiet whimpers, and saw in Natasha's eyes she was coming back to herself.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. I'm so sorry if I did anything, I didn't mean to. We don't have to talk about age, or anything. I want you to be comfortable, but I need to know your triggers. Natasha, you're amazing, but we need to talk about what I can do in these moments. I care a lot about you, and-" 

Natasha just looked at her. She looked at every feature of Commander Hill's face. 

She looked at her hazel eyes, her nose that framed her face just perfectly, her cheeks with the essence of a blush, and her lips. She wanted to kiss them, but she... she-

Before Maria could finish that sentence Natasha brought her hands to Maria's face and brought her lips to connect with the other spy. Maria didn't pull away, she couldn't and didn't want to.

It was the start of something...

"Is that a spoon?"

FEBRUARY 10th, 2005

"Hello, babe!" Natasha greeted her girlfriend. "How are you today? I brought you coffee!" 

Maria rolled her eyes, a smile resting on her face. But it turned into a playful pout as Natasha moved the cup away when Maria went to grab it.

"Hey!"

"Say the magic words, darling." Natasha was becoming a happier person, if only around Maria. It was both a weakness and a blessing in her eyes. She was just so scared one of her enemies was going to go after her girlfriend, but she kept reminding herself Maria could handle her six. Natasha couldn't dare to date someone normal, she knows that, but it doesn't seem to even matter. She has Maria.

"Please, Nat! It's seven AM and I've been waiting for your coffee! It's the only good one here!"

"That's not the magic words, Ria!"

"Fine. Nick Fury is a Furry. Happy?"

Natasha nodded proudly, handing over the coffee. "Very."

"I still don't agree."

"I do."

APRIL 4th, 2005

"Happy birthday, babe. Here you go, I hope you like it." Natasha handed Maria her gift shyly. She never got shy, but with Maria her emotions varied, practically spiraling off into crazy different dimensions. Always with positive outcomes.

Maria herself was worried she wouldn't like it, but she knew either way she would kiss her girlfriend and tell her it was amazing. Natasha had never gone birthday present shopping before this, and she knew that. But of course, the Black Widow always succeeds.

Maria gasped. She audibly gasped.

"Darling..." she picked up the necklace, looking at it from every angle. "I love it."

"It has our initials, M and N. Each on our own charm, but a heart in the middle because..." she lightly touched Maria's chin, moving it so their eyes locked. "Maria, I love you." Love is for children. She will learn to forget that, and she will go against instinct if it makes Maria happy. Because Maria is her instinct. 

Maria smiled so much she was afraid she'd just collapse. Instead, she tackled Natasha into the biggest hug ever. "I love you too, Nat! So so so much it's impossible to explain!" She pecked her lovers face over and over on every single part she could find as Natasha giggled freely. "I love every inch of you!"

JUNE 2nd, 2005
TW: mentions of rape and child abuse

Maria was going out alone, which was rare. She was heading off to a bar as Natasha needed some privacy to get her mission reports done. But something terrible happened, and Maria was too intoxicated and scared to do anything to stop it. She felt just as weak as she was when her father lay a hand on anything but himself.

The man took advantage of her, and left her in the bathroom used.

She had no tears left to release, and no strength to get up.

She knew what she had to do, but she feared the worst outcome would arise from then on. Would Natasha leave her? Would she be mad that Maria had sex with someone else even though she was dating her? Would Natasha be mad Maria couldn't get him off? Would Natasha hurt her?

It took minutes if not hours before she had just enough energy left in her to grab her phone from her purse, that was carried into the room at the same time she was. Luckily he forgot to raid it after- yeah, after.

It only rang once before her girlfriend responded.

"Nat- tasha. I... I need you to pick me up."

<33