January 3

Christmas break was nothing but hell. The first few days I didn't sleep at all because my mind kept on replaying what had happened between me and Harry on the last day of school before Christmas break had started. And when I wasn't thinking about that, I was thinking, no dreading as I marked each day off of the calendar. I had stomach knots when I marked off the 24th on my calendar, but like every other year, I didn't even get a simple 'Happy birthday' from anyone.

Christmas was horrible too. I had woken up to find my bedroom window sealed shut from ice. When I had wiped the fog off of the window, I felt like I was going to be sick when I seen all the perfectly white snow that covered the ground and had yet to be touch, that wouldn't be touched. I can't lie and say I wasn't tempted to go out there and play in it, because I had wanted to. But I remembered the last time I had played in the snow, which was with my dad, and the thought instantly vanished from my mind.

Today was the first day back to school, which meant I would have new classes. I had to force myself to climb out of bed and even get dressed that day. I had been too lazy to care about what I wore, so I just decided on a simple pair of grey jeggings and my only black hoodie that I had left. My other one was in the laundry room, if you could even call it that, and it had blue stains littered across the front of it. I had scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed it, but that stupid blue shit wouldn't come out of it.

Gritting my teeth at the memory, I pushed the front door to the school open with more force than was necessary. The metal door swung back on its hinges and hit against the wooden wall loudly before it swung back towards me. I huffed and side stepped it, my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands. I was very grumpy today, and I had no idea why.

Stop lying. Seth is coming back today.

Frowning at the thought, I stopped by the office to get my new schedule but they informed me that one of Mrs. Black's students had already came in to get it. When I asked them a name, the woman shrugged and said that he was too new and that she had yet to catch onto his name. That was the only information I needed to know that it was Harry that had came and got my bloody schedule. Jen probably didn't even send him either.

I stomped down the hallway, the sound my feet were making going unnoticed because of all the noise that filled the hallways. I turned around the corner quickly and almost collided with someone. My vision was filled with a red and black, and before I had the chance to step back, someone was pushing me against the wall.

My head bounced off of the wall and my back scream in pain as thumbtacks dug into it. I hissed softly in pain, tears pricking my eyes, and slowly looked up. Fear flooded my body and began coursing through my veins when I seen who was standing in front of me. "Watch where you're going, faggot." Seth growled, his lips parting a little and revealing his white teeth. His hand on my arm tightened painfully, his dull fingernails digging into my flesh through the material of my hoodie.

"I-I'm sorry." I squeaked out, trying to push his hand off of my arm but all that resulted in was him tightening his grip. I could feel as he curled his fingers and made his fingernails curl deeper into my skin, and finally, they broke through the skin. I whimpered loudly and started to struggle against his hold, my vision going in and out.

"You're lucky I have to get to class, or i'd show you what little queers like you deserve." With that, he shoved my back a little harder, then let go and walked down the hallway. I let out a deep breath and instead of sliding down to the ground like I had wanted to, I began to run to Jen's room.

I had to guess which way I was going because tears were blurring my vision as they continued to slide down my cheeks. My left bicep was throbbing and I could feel as the blood began to seep into my shirt and hoodie. My head was throbbing too, from how hard I had hit it against the wall, but I pushed through the pain and focused on trying to get to Jen's classroom.

I sprinted towards her door when I finally seen it, my backpack flying around. I burst through the open door and, once I was halfway in the room, I pressed my back against the wall and slide down it. I shoved my head between my knees and wrapped my arms tightly around my legs, violent sobs ripping through my body and making me shake uncontrollably.

I hated this school. I hated my life. I hated myself, I just hated everything. I felt someone touch my left arm gently, but their fingers skimmed over where Seth had grabbed me. I flinched away from their touch and scooted away from them, keeping the same position. "Louis," Someone whispered softly, their voice calming me down just a little.

I didn't answer them. My throat was closed off with emotions and even if I wanted to talk, I didn't have anything to say. I sat on the floor for a few minutes, my body shaking even after I stopped crying. When my body finally stopped shaking, I loosened my grip on my legs and finally looked up, but in the opposite direction of where the person was still standing. I could only imagine what I looked like right now. My eyes were puffy and swollen, my bottom lip was trembling, and snot was running out of my nose.

I sniffled softly, and eventually, I looked over to see Jen kneeling beside me, worry plastered on her face. "Seth." I mumbled when she went to speak. My throat was scratchy and my voice was thick from crying. I cleared my throat and looked behind Jen when something moved. Harry was standing behind her, his arms hanging at his sides but his fists were clenched. He had a very, very scary look on his face and his green eyes that were always bright, were now dark and stormy looking. I wondered why he was like that, but I just figured that he got more detention for doing something stupid.

"Stand up and let me see." Jen said, her hand slipping under my armpit as she helped me into a standing position. I let her guide me over to the table I usually sat at. Without glancing at either of them, I sat down in the chair and tugged off my black, thin hoodie, revealing my red shirt that exposed some of my tattoos.

Before Jen could ask, I turned my arm over and glanced down at it. There was four dark patches in the arm of my shirt, which was where the blood had seeped through it. I began to carefully roll it up, hissing quietly under my breath when my fingers brushed over the four wounds. When my shirt was finally rolled up, I seen the four nail marks that were in my skin, as well as the blue bruise that was forming on my pale skin in the shape of a hand.

"Oh Louis." Jen breathed out, reaching her hand forward like she was going to touch it, but she didn't. She pulled her hand back and stood up, her tall figure disappearing from my sight when she walked behind me. I blew out a deep breath and chanced a glance up at Harry. The taller teens eyes were focused on my arm, his jaw moving back and forth as he grinded his teeth together, making a small noise that sent a shiver down my spine.

"Are you okay?" He asked after a few heartbeats passed by in silence. I looked back down at my arm and nodded, because I was okay now. My arm didn't hurt too much anymore and now that I wasn't crying, my head was no longer throbbing. I didn't even know why I had cried as bad as I did. I was used to Seth and him bullying me, so I shouldn't have reacted that way. The only logical explanation I could come up with was that I had gotten so used to not being bullied, that when he had attacked me this morning, I was shocked, which lead to me crying.

"Stop lying." Harry growled, his voice sounding so threatening. I jumped at the noise and eyed him with wide eyes. He has never used that tone of voice with me, and I really didn't want him to start. He was the only student here that was nice to me, and I honestly didn't want to go back to being the loner who only talked to teachers.

"I'm not." I felt my heart rate quicken when Harry pinned my eyes with his. I almost looked away from his eyes that were swimming with hatred, but I didn't. That look may scare off a lot of people, but deep down, I knew Harry wouldn't hurt me.

"You just cried like a fucking baby ten minutes ago, so do you honestly expect me to believe that you are okay." I brushed off the name about being a baby, and merely shrugged my shoulders. He could believe what he wanted to, but I was okay. I would have a nasty ass bruise on my arm for a few weeks, but other than that, I would be fine.

"Unbelievable." Harry eyed me for a second, like he was making sure I was okay. When he got the answer he wanted, he grabbed his bag off of the table next to me and stormed out of the room. I rolled my eyes at how childish he was being and glanced down at the table, my eyes landing on the white paper that had my name in big bold letters at the top.

I picked it up and read over it as I waited for Jen to get back from wherever she was. I had the same classes as last term, and they were even in the same order. I smiled softly because I knew Jen was the reason behind this. She knew I didn't like change, so she would usually make it so I could earn the credits I was missing from the other classes, so I could keep the same classes all year.

I know how boring that must sound, but that's how I preferred it. I set the paper back down on the table right as Jen walked in with a first aid kit. She stayed silent as she wiped the dried blood off of my arm with an alcohol wipe and put bandaids over each of the cuts. When she was done, she threw all the trash away and told me she had to go talk to the principle. She also told me not to bother waiting because classes started in a few minutes.

I nodded and stood up from my seat. I tugged my hoodie back on, being cautious of my arm, and picked up my backpack. I walked through the familiar hallways, my eyes scouring over them in search for the jock I didn't want to see. I was just passing the front office when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side of the hallway.

I closed my eyes and held my breath, waiting for Seth to punch me, but he never did. I cracked my left eye open, thankful that they weren't as swollen before, and frowned when I seen Harry standing in front of me. He looked calmer than he had before, but he was shaking. I took a step forward and hesitated before I finally placed my hand on the side of his smooth cheek, sighing internally when he didn't pull away or freak out because I was touching him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, forcing him to look down at me. And so the sky met the grass, such a marvelous blue, and such a vibrant green. I was rendered speechless when I seen how many emotions were swimming through Harry's eyes. He was upset, that was evident enough, but he also looked.... Caring?

"Come with me." Harry said, and he sounded breathless. He reached a hand up and grabbed mine gently. He guided both of our hands down, never once breaking eye contact. And, without letting go of my hand once is was down, he laced his fingers with mine and pulled me out of the school and down the steps.

The cool air nipped at my skin, but I continued following Harry towards a black car. My shoes crunched in the snow with each step I took, and I was beginning to become breathless. I was practically running to keep up with Harry's long strides, and I doubted that the older teen realized how fast he was walking. He was probably too focused on his thoughts to realize he was all but dragging me through the snow and towards his car.

Once we reached the car, he let go of my hand and I whined in protest, but it wasn't loud enough for Harry to hear. His hand was the only thing keeping my body warm, due to the blazing fire that started when he touched me. I stood awkwardly at the front of the car and watched as he opened the passenger door. My breath was coming out in short puffs that created a cloud of fog around me.

"Get in." Harry instructed, not looking over at me. I was going to protest and tell him that I didn't want to miss school, especially on our first day back, but then I remembered what he looked like when we were inside the school and I quickly scurried over to the black impala that was the nicest car I had ever seen in my entire life. I slid down into the surprisingly comfortable leather seat, and ignored as the coldness began to seep through my pants and make my butt cold.

Harry slammed my door shut and walked around the front of the car. He opened the driver's door and set down in the seat, his car keys already in his hand. He grabbed both mine and his backpacks and threw them in the backseat, growling under his breath when one of the straps whipped him in the face. I had to bit my lip to stifle my laugh, knowing that right now wasn't the time.

I stayed silent, and still, in my seat as I waited patiently for Harry to start to car. Warm air flooded through the car when he did. I sighed happily and leaned forward, cupping my hands over the heater vent. My hands began to warm up, both of them no longer feeling as if they were going to fall off from how cold they were.

Harry's tires squealed as he pulled out of the school's parking lot rather quickly. I flew back in my seat and hit my arm against the window with a loud thud. It didn't hurt too bad, but with the slick roads and Harry's insane driving, I decided it was the best idea to put on my seatbelt. I buckled up my seat belt and looked out through the windshield. The white trees flew past us as Harry sped up the car even more. I wanted to tell him to slow down, but I didn't want to upset him further so I stayed quiet.

By the time Harry stopped the car, I was shaking in my seat and clinging onto it with dear life. "You need to learn how to drive." I said through chattering teeth. Harry laughed, the sound oddly soothing me, and climbed out of the car. He walked around to my side and opened the door, extending his hand for me to take so he could help me out of the car.

"You didn't die, did you?" He asked, shoving his hand further into the car, silently telling me to grab it. I lifted up a shaky hand and slid it into Harry's, yelping in surprise when he pulled me out of the car. I almost fell flat on my face, and I would have if the arm around my shoulders hadn't been there.

Harry pulled me into a standing position and let go, though he kept one hand on my elbow as he guided me towards a park bench. My breath literally stopped when I took in the sight in front of me. There was a playground that was completely covered in snow, but that wasn't what had me in awe. A little past the playground was a flat field that was surrounded by trees, their tree branches hanging low from all the weight of the snow. Icicles littered a few of the branched and twinkled in the morning sun.

It might seem like a normal sight to some people, but it wasn't to me. I had never really got the chance to watch the sun pelt against the snow and watch as it glistens and shimmers. I haven't been out much in the past few years, especially not to a park, but if everything looked like this, I definitely needed to come out more.

"If you think it's pretty now, you should see it in the summer." Harry said quietly from beside me. His hand, which was on my elbow, was now brushing against my hand. I ignored the shocks I was getting whenever he touched my hand, and looked back up at the field. I tried to imagine what it would look like during the summer, but my mind was a piece of shit and only popped up images of dead flowers and mud.

I shook my head and walked over to the bench, my feet occasionally sliding on the slippery ground. I used my sleeve to brush all the snow off of it, and when I got down to the icy part of the snow, I shrugged and set down. The ice instantly began to melt underneath my butt, but my butt became frozen as soon as I set down so I didn't mind it too much.

Harry walked over a few minutes later and set down next to me. His shoulder brushed against mine, but I didn't bother moving and neither did he. We sat in a peaceful silence for a few minutes, both of us just admiring the perfectly white snow that lied beneath our feet. Well, my feet, not his. His legs were long enough that he could reach the ground, and if I wanted mine to, I would have to scoot forward a little.

"What happened at the school?" I suddenly blurted, needing an answer to the question that has been running through my head since Harry had pulled me off to the side of the hallway. I peeked over at him, my insides melting when I seen the grin on Harry's face.

"Nothing." He simply answered, and when he glanced over at me and seen my face, he sighed and rolled his eyes. "I went to look for Seth, but he was with all of his bitches, and I didn't want to get expelled from another school because I beat up the school's football team." He explained further, not sounding interested at all.

My stomach erupted in butterflies when I registered what Harry had said. He went to look for Seth to beat him up /because/ of what Seth did to me. "Thank you." I whispered, casting my gaze down to my knees. I noticed that my legs were shivering, but I wasn't cold. I was happy. I had a stupid grin on my face, all because the school's bad ass wanted to beat up the most popular kid in school because he had hurt me. I knew I should tell Harry not to fight because of me, but it was a new feeling to have someone willingly fight for me, and I just wanted to feel it for a few more minutes.

I noticed Harry gazing at me from the corner of my eye, so I slowly turned my head and returned to stare. "What?" I eventually asked, my voice quiet and timid. I couldn't read Harry's expression, which was odd because I could usually read people really well, but I could tell that he was surprised. Surprised by what? I had no idea, but i'm sure it has something to do with me being so calm or something.

"Nothing." He almost instantly answered. He shook his head and leaned forward, propping his knees up on his elbows. I pursed my lips and nodded, being able to read him now. He looked solemn, and I was uncomfortable with the look. He was usually cheerful whenever I was around, so this new him was a little odd to me.

Neither of us speaking, mostly because I didn't know what to say, I leaned down and picked up a handful of snow. I lifted it up to eye level and stared at it for a second, watching intently as it glistened in the light. Cool water began to run between my fingers and down my arm, all of it collecting at the end of my hoodie sleeve. "I haven't played in the snow for almost nine years." I whispered, feeling to need to talk and the only topic that was on my mind was the snow.

I hear Harry gasp, for effect, before he turned in his seat and looked at me. His knee nudged against my thigh when he had moved, and it stayed pressed against the side of my thigh as he stayed looking at me. "You're not joking." He stated, sounding surprised by his own words. I shook my head and wanted to explain further, but I have never talked about my dad with anyone and I wasn't going to any time soon.

"Well," Dragging out the 'l' in well, Harry stood up and walked a few feet in front of us. "We need to change that." He said as he bent down and picked up a handful of snow. I didn't know what he meant, but when he turned around and I seen the dark smirk dancing on his lips, I knew exactly what he was about to do. I watched in slow motion as Harry pulled his arm back and threw the white ice ball at me. It pelted my shoulder and broke into a bunch of pieces, most of them splattering across my face.

I gasped loudly and gaped at Harry, not believing that he had just thrown a snowball at me. Huffing, I brushed the snow off of my shoulder and stood up, throwing the remainder of the snowball that was in my hand at Harry. It hit him in the stomach and stuck against his shirt, but I didn't throw enough force for it to hurt. Harry growled playfully and lunged behind a large rock that was next to the border of the playground. I looked around frantically for somewhere to hide, and I finally decided to duck behind the bench.

The next half an hour passed by with me and Harry throwing snowballs at each other. It wasn't until my fingers went completely numb and was to the point that I couldn't bend them, that I called a truce with Harry. I walked out from behind the bench and cupped my hands over my lips. I blew on them, that being my lame attempt at trying to warm them, and whined when that only made things worse.

"My hand.." I didn't get to finished my sentence because I was being pulled down into a mountain of snow. I had expected to land on something hard, but when my body fell into the snow, it felt no different than how it did when I used to jump on my parents pillow top mattress. Some of the powered snow, that covered the top of the rest of the snow, blew up in the air and twirled around me before it slowly fell back down to the earth.

"I was just about to tell you I was cold." I whined, shoving my frozen hands into my equally cold pockets. I heard Harry mumble something, him apparently not wanting me to hear, before I was being hauled back to me feet. Out of curiosity, I glanced down at where I was lying and smiled when I seen my body was perfectly indented in the snow. I let my eyes float over to where Harry was lying, snorting quietly when I seen there was a snow angel.

"Mature." I mumbled, elbowing Harry with my elbow. With one last glance at Harry's long snow angel, I twirled around and began to walk towards Harry's car. I heard his footsteps crunch in the snow as he began to run after me to catch up. By the time he did, I was already almost a few feet away from his car.

He unlocked the doors and I hurried and opened my door before Harry got a chance to. I sat down in the seat and folded my legs so they were up on the seat as well. I buckled my seat and sat forward, placing my hands over the heaters of the car and waiting impatiently for Harry to turn on the car. "I'm going to die of hypothermia." I exclaimed when I noticed Harry was taking his sweet ass time. I may have been over exaggerating, but it honestly felt like I was going to die right now.

My entire body was frozen and I haven't been able to feel my feet since we first got here. But, despite those things, I am having a lot of fun. I had never imagined myself having fun in the snow again, yet here I was, freezing my ass off after having a snowball fight with a seventeen year old. Wait, is he seventeen? Or sixteen. He is one of those two ages, unless he got held back.

"Thank you, Harry." I mumbled once he turned on the car. He nodded his head and began to drive, obviously not catching onto how much meaning was behind those two simple words. I wasn't thanking him for just turning on the heater, but I was thanking him for everything he has done. Since he has gotten here, my life has been far more interesting and fun than it has my entire teenage years. He has not only helped me get used to talking to people, but he has also reminded me that there is a lot more to life than school and home.

I may not know him that well, but he has showed me that you can live a good life even after having a shitty past. And just to think, he doesn't know how much he really has done for me.