A/N: This chapter is highly unedited! I wanted you guys to see a little bit more of Harry's fears, but I didn't want to go into too much detail yet. I hope this chapter isn't as bad as I am expecting it to be, but i'll still cross my fingers. XD

Merry (belated) Christmas (And Happy Holidays to you that don't celebrate Christmas), everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful day! :)

"I'm not taking it off," I said, my childish deficiency showing when I crossed my arms over my chest and stuck my nose in the air. Harry sat in the driver's seat next to me, a look of annoyance on his face as he continuously tried to talk, well more like pressure, me into taking my hoodie off. I refused every time, of course. I was comfortable enough around Harry to be naked, and I trusted his family enough to take my hoodie off around them, but in front of all these people? Yeah, I think not.

Imagine how bad of a panic attack I would have, and how my skin would burn with all their gazes pinned on my unperfect skin. A shiver of horror runs up my spine at just the thought, and I feel my chest already becoming tight. "I won't do it," I sounded weak, vulnerable even, but I couldn't stop my emotions from showing. I would rather Harry knows how I truly feel about this, rather than bottle up my emotions and do as he wishes just to please him.

Ha! Imagine what my Nan would think if I ever did the latter.

"It's just inside with my family, Kitten. Please," he uses that damn voice that he knows I always melt with, but still, I stand my ground and ignore my soupy insides.

"Family I have never met,"

"So? They will love you, I promise. And if you are afraid that they will stare, then I--"

"I'm not afraid, Harry. Having anxiety is not about being afraid. I can't control the way my mind or body works, but even if I could, I wouldn't force it to shut up and stop working just so I can do something that makes you happy, but me miserable," I hissed, sounding stupid, obviously, but they were words that needed to be spoken.

"You're so fucking stubborn, Lewis," Oh, we are back to Lewis now, are we?

"Only with you, Harold," I smiled a twisted smile that formed into a grimace, then I threw open my the door on my side and climbed out. I was done with this conversation, and quite frankly, I was done with him for the night. A voice in my head, which sounds all too much like my Nan, reminds me this is what happens to couples that spend too much time together. And in that moment, I scowl at nothing in particular and continue on my way towards the door that blocks the view of ten or more people I have never even met.

But I can't stop myself from wondering if me and Harry have been spending too much time together? I mean, I have been staying at his house for a while now, and we see each other at school, so there really was no time we spent away from each other. Maybe it's time I go back home and spend some time away from Harry, just so I can collect my thoughts before prom, which is in three days.

Sighing, I glared at the door that was three feet away from me and pondered on whether or not I should turn around and demand Harry takes me home, or to walk around for awhile and just let my mind clear itself. With a defeated huff, I glance behind my shoulder and see Harry is talking with one of his older family members, then I duck and run around the side of the house.

It's dark out here, except for the pale glow of the porch light by their back door. I scan their backyard, and when I seen that there was nothing but a fence blocking their neighbors yard, I decided the next best thing was to sit on the porch step and just enjoy as much quiet time as I could get.

God knows there won't be a quiet moment in that house full of Harry's noisy family.

Rubbing my stomach with the palm of my hands, in hopes to loosen the ball of nerves that have formed in it (even though I knew the only thing that would truly help relax my nerves right now was weed, or a nicotine buzz, and I could go for either right about now), I tip my head back and look up at the moon. The moon was bright and shining proudly, it only being a few days before there was a full moon. Surrounding the moon was little stars that twinkled brightly in the sky, though they were dim in comparison to the moon.

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" A soft, but gruff voice asked. My head snapped in the direction their voice came in, and my eyes landed on a male, mid teens, with light brown hair that was just long enough to touch the tips of his ears, even with it sticking out all over the place. He had gleaming amber eyes that looked like a pot of honey, and a strong jawline that looked perfect with his pointy, but dimpled, chin.

The only thing wrong with him was his nose, and it was small, but pointy. "Yeah, it really is," I agree quietly, my eyes moving over his buttoned up white shirt, to his brown khakis. Well, there was two things wrong with him. His nose, and his sense of style.

Says the one wearing a hoodie and skinny jeans.

"Sorry to intrude, I just needed to get away from my family and I didn't think any one was out here. I can leave, if you'd like," he said after a minute or so passed by with neither one of us speaking.

"No, you're fine. You can stay. I came back here to get..." I paused mid-sentence, realizing this kid was Harry's family and probably wouldn't like me calling Harry annoying, "To clear my mind," I said instead, smiling softly at him before I looked back at the moon.

I could see him nod his head out of the corner of my eye, but he didn't say anything, and neither did I. Until, "I haven't seen you around here before. Are you friends with someone here? Or are you just a stranger sitting in my mums backyard?" he said mum, which means that he is Harry's cousin and Anne's nephew.

I laughed awkwardly at what he said, just trying to be nice but everyone knows I can't fake laugh, and shook my head. "Neither, actually. I'm here with Harry," I didn't add the fact that Harry was my boyfriend, or that he dragged me out here against my own free will. Like people always say, somethings are better left unspoken.

Sadness, or something related to that emotion, sparked in the boy's eyes, but before I could decipher it, it was gone. "You must be Louis, then," he sounded upset, disappointed even.

"Yeah, how did you know?" My interest spiked the moment I said Harry's name and he became sad, and I needed answers but I didn't know if I wanted to pry and end up hurting this kid even more. But I needed to know if he doesn't like Harry.

Sighing, he set down next to me, then scooted over a little so his shoulder was pressed against the wall and he was at least a foot away from me. "Anne talks to my mum about you non stop, then my mum talks about you and asks why I can't be as good or as bright as you," And there's my answer. God, I have yet to met this woman both Harry and now this kid have told me about, but I already hated her.

"I'm not that good," I offered, not knowing what to say to make him feel better. "Besides, i'm sure you're good at a lot of things," I realized then that he didn't get sad when I mentioned Harry because he didn't like him, but because he realized who I was. He didn't even know me prior to just a few minutes ago, but he has been compared to me for god knows how long. We were like polar opposites, almost. He was liked, and was good at things I didn't like, and he looked completely different than me. He was attractive while I was... Well, me.

He smiled at me, then closed his eyes and let his head rest against the wall. It looked like he wasn't going to say anything further, so I decided that was my cue to leave. Brushing off my knees, I went to stand up, but he stopped me with just a few words.

"Do you smoke?"

"Sometimes,"

"Would you like one?" I thought about his question for a second, and debated on whether or not I wanted to go inside smelling like cigarettes, but my watering mouth already gave me my answer before I even had time to think.

"Sure," I set back down and got comfortable and watched as he leaned to the side, his arm gripping the railing to keep him from falling, and reached underneath the staircase to grab something.

Sitting back up, he opened up the black box that was in his hand and pulled out two white sticks, then passed me one and put the other one between his lips. "Thanks," I said, slotting my own killing stick between my teeth before I fished my lighter, that I take everywhere with me, out of my pocket and lit it.

Smoke clouded my lungs, the feeling both burning, but relieving. Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly and let myself feel as my skin began to buzz lightly from just one drag from my cigarette. For the next ten minutes me, and the kid I have yet to get the name of, sit there and smoke our cigarettes while talking about things he was good at. And it turns out he is good at very limited things, but he excelled in science.

I had just took another drag off of my smoke and told him I thought he would make a great scientist when a form walked out of the shadows and stood next to me. The kid's eyes widened when he looked up at the person, which had my mind screaming in alarm until I turned around and looked up into dark emerald eyes.

"Hia, Harry," I said cheerfully, being completely happy now that I had a smoke and was given the chance to calm down.

"Where's your hoodie?" he asked, and of course that would be the first thing he notices. Reaching down to the stair my feet were resting on, I pulled up the hoodie I had taken off a few minutes ago so it didn't reek like smoke, and showed it to him. "You took it off in front of Blake?" he asked, eyes growing darker.

"Blake? Who the fuck?? No, I took it off in front of this kid so I could smoke," I gestured towards the kid I had been sitting with, then the light bulb went off and I turned to look at him. "Oh, you're Blake," I said, realization dawning on me and making me feel like a complete idiot when he nodded and offered a shy smile. "Idiot of the year award goes to me," I mumble under my breath, shaking my head at how stupid I was.

I looked up at Harry with sad orbs, and watched as his eyes began to melt and turn into an emerald pool that began to pull me in with their beautiful tides. "Come here," he said softly, offering me his hand to help me up. I slotted my small hand in his and ignored how perfectly it fit in place, then let him pull me up into a standing position.

I flicked my cigarette in a random direction, then turned my head and smiled at him. I stood there, watching him, not knowing what I was expecting but the soft kiss on my forehead was not it. "Lift up your arms and I'll help you put it on," Harry whispered, his smooth lips still pressed against my forehead.

Nodding my head, I lifted my hands up, only to bring them back down and wrap them around his waist. "I think I'm fine not wearing it," I said, and for once, I wasn't lying. As long as I was next to Harry, I knew I would be fine. I wouldn't feel like the house was closing in on me or that everybody was watching me. I would be okay.

Pulling back with furrowed eyebrows and his bottom lip between his teeth, Harry stared at me long and hard, then he inhaled deeply and nodded. "Alright, then let's go," he took my hand once again and pulled me into his side, then wrapped his arm around my side and led me up the stairs.

Just as he was opening the door, I turned back and smiled at Blake, who was staring up at the sky. "It was nice to meet you," I said, simply smiling when he smiled at me. He gave me a slight incline of his head, then he turned back to look at the moon, his cigarette still held between his fingers.

I was glad Harry didn't get upset about me running off and hanging out with his cousin, but I was even happier that he didn't read too much into me taking off my hoodie. I simply took it off because I didn't want it to smell like smoke, and not for any other reason.

People were chatting loudly in the kitchen, which was the room we walked into through the backyard. Everybody turned to look at us, then they went back to their own conversations and left us alone so we could walk through the kitchen and into the dining room. People were in here too, which was expected. Dinner would be ready soon, based on the delicious aroma that fills the entire house.

I kept my head bowed and set down in the chair Harry pulled out for me at the large table. He set down next to me, and when I peaked up, I first noticed his hand that was palm up on the table, inviting me to lace my fingers with his, then I noticed Anne and Robin sitting across from us, Anne casting a few smiles in my direction every few minutes.

When more and more people began to file into the room and the noise began to grow louder and louder, I felt my back grow stiffer and stiffer. I couldn't do this. I couldn't sit in here with all these people and eat without having some sort of panic attack. I was vulnerable right now, sitting like this out in the open with no hoodie on. I knew this night would end in flames if I didn't--

A hand lying on top of mine that was on my thigh instantly silenced my thoughts. The fingers were long and rough, but soft, and their palm was rugged from all the scars they have got throughout the years. This hand, while unperfect to most, was completely perfect to me. Sighing deeply through my nose, I flipped my hand over and laced my fingers with his, feeling his rings dig into the soft parts on the inside of my fingers, but I didn't mind it.

I looked up at him, only to see he wasn't looking at me. He was in a conversation with Anne and two other women I didn't know, and with the topic they were talking about (something about a lake or something) they had been talking for a while, meaning Harry couldn't have known I was freaking out.

But he knows you.

Ah, yes, he does. He knows me and my stupid attacks and the way I think. Pulling at loose strings on my pants, I looked to my right and smiled widely when I seen Gemma. "Thank god you're sitting by me," I breathed in relief, my arm hooking with hers.

In the past few weeks, me and Gemma have become close. Well, close in the sense that me and another girl could be close. She reminded me of my sister, but she was a healthier, nicer version. She was sweet and loved most of the topics I liked, so we got along fine.

"Of course! Do you honestly think i'd leave you alone with nobody but Caveman," she gestured towards Harry, but I had known who she was talking about, "to protect you from my ridiculously loud and obnoxious family?" she laughed, then leaned in a little bit and got this serious look on her face before whispering. "Besides, Grandmum has bad gas," a look of disgust crossed over her face before both of us began to laugh, loudly, but not loud enough to draw anyones attention.

"Then you picked the wrong people to sit by. I bet your brothers gas could knock out even your Grandmum,"

"Where do you think he inherited the stink genes from?"

I snorted at that, then quickly covered my mouth with my hand, but ended up laughing harder at how ridiculous my little snort sounded. "That was adorable!" Gemma exclaimed, tears trailing down her rosy cheeks, but surprisingly enough, her makeup stayed as perfect as it was before.

"Dinner's beginning," someone said, followed by a fork clanking against a glass and creating that nerve grinding high pitched, screeching like noise.

The urge to laugh was gone, and I sat up in my seat properly, my arm falling from Gemma's. I kept my hand laced with Harry's, and when he tried to pull it back, I just tightened my hold and shook my head, hoping he could see. The same guy who had announced it was time to eat began to prattle on and on about god and how he was thankful for everything he gave them, including this meal and yatta yatta.

It was boring listening to him, but that didn't mean I hated God. I didn't have anything against him, I just grew up questioning him and why he gave me the life he did. Me and him had a rocky relationship, but it was still a relationship.

It wasn't until he said Amen that I realized this was a prayer, and I had my eyes opened and didn't even participate in it. I blushed darkly and kept my head bowed, silently hoping that nobody noticed me.

And nobody did.

They all began to load their plates up and eat. A few dishes of food was passed to me, but I just handed it over to Harry, who would put a scoop on my plate, then on on his plate. This went on until I had some sort of meat (Chicken, maybe?), a roll, mashed potatoes, green beans, and some other vegetables on my plate. There was no way I would be able to eat all of this, but I decided I would at least try when I chanced a glance up and seen nobody was even focused on me, but rather their food.

I took a bite of the meat, only to get the urge to spit it out and wash my mouth out with soap or something. It was bitter and chewy, and the longer I chewed it, the more my stomach began to gargle, begging me to spit out the wretched thing in my mouth. And I wanted to, but I didn't want to be rude.

Ah, fuck it.

With a mouth full of the meat, I poked Harry's side with my finger and waited until he turned to me before I pointed to my puffed out cheeks. He rolled his eyes, grabbed a napkin off of the table, leaned close so nobody could see what he was doing, and let me spit it out in his hand before he rolled it up and set it on the table, but underneath his plate so nobody could see it.

See, he knows me so well.

"What was that?" I asked him, the bitterness from that nasty shit still in my mouth even after I took a drink of my water.

"Chicken liver," he mumbled, grinning knowingly at me before he began to eat his own food.

I glared at the back of his head, and rather than continuing to eat, I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. No more food for me.

The minutes seemed to drag on as everybody continued eating, and I was tempted to ask Harry if I could excuse myself before the conversation at the table was turned to Harry. "Remember when he used to be your trouble child, Anne? I would get a call from you every night about how Harry had gotten into a fight, or how you could hear him in the room with one of his new friends." the woman with brown haired pulled up in a bun said, her features resembling Anne and I instantly recognized her as her sister.

I felt my stomach drop at her words, and my fingers being crushed by Harry's tightening grip, but I was more focused on Anne who was blushing a cherry red tomato color. "Oh, stop it, Claire. That was in the past," Anne said, looking both embarrassed, but pissed. She shot her sister a warning glance that I even cowered back at, but her sister didn't budge.

"Or that time that Harry slept with his one teacher, what was his name? I can't remember, but I remembered you calling me and saying how much you wished your son would just grow up," Claire smirked at Anne when she seen her sister looked like a deer caught in headlights. "But my all time favorite is when you called me in tears to tell me how your son had landed himself in jail after getting in a fist fight with the principle, and a few of the male staff members, over a test he cheated on," pausing, she shook her head and sighed, "Oh, Harry. We all wondered when you would ever grow up,"

Everybody was silent now, not one person here knowing what to say or do after that. I could hear Harry's heavy breathing, and I thought he was about to beat the shit out of someone here, preferably Claire, but all he did was stand up from his seat and storm out of the room. Everyone, including me, sat there stunned, watching as he disappeared through the door. We heard a loud crashing noise coming from somewhere outside, but nobody jumped, not even me.

I sat staring at the door, waiting for Harry to return, but he didn't. "Damn it, Claire. Why can't you ever leave the boy alone?" Anne shouted, smoke practically shooting out of her ears.

What the hell was this woman talking about anyway? Harry has told me a few of those stories, but he never mentioned he had went to jail or that he had slept with his teacher.

Even though my anger at Harry began to grow, I was beyond angry at this lady. Who the fuck does she think she is? I could feel all the hatred that was brewing in my stomach begin to multiply, until my face was red and hot and my body was shaking.

"Claire, was it?" I asked, my voice quiet but everyone heard me, and they all turned their attention on me. "Do you enjoy making your nephew feel like shit over his past? I mean, I'm sure it's a boost to your ego, which seems to be deflating based on the press on nails you have and the hair dye that's staining your cheek. You wanted to impress your family, didn't you? And when you realized that all attention was being turned away from you, you had to throw Harry in the spotlight so you could shine a little to, yeah?"

I didn't know what was coming out of my mouth, but it felt good to say, so I continued, regrettably, "I'm sure you wouldn't like your family bringing up your past. Anne told me about the time you had to have your stomach pumped after chugging down a bottle of vodka and sucking fifteen different dicks,"

"Stop it! That's in the past!"

Gasping, I covered my hand with my mouth. "Kind of like every story you just said was from the past," shaking my head at her, I pushed my chair into the table and took a step back. "Grow the fuck up already, Claire. You don't have a dick, so stop trying to make up for what you're lacking with your personality,"

I watched her face fall, and that was all the satisfaction I needed before I turned around and followed after Harry. I was breathing erratically, my heart hammering against my chest and I felt like the house was going to swallow me whole, or that my heart was going to explode. Whatever the feeling was, it wasn't good, and it didn't last for long.

When I burst through the backdoor and took a deep breath of the fresh, crisp air, my breathing began to return to normal, but my heart was still beating out of control. I needed to find Harry. I was worried he would do something to harm someone around here, or even himself.

Swallowing back every emotion I was feeling, I willed my unsteady body to go forward, my footsteps uneven and my world wobbly, but I could do this. I would find him, even without my glasses. I had to squint my eyes to see a foot in front of me, and even then it was blurry. It would be impossible for me to see anything that wasn't in front of my fucking face, so I stopped walking, stood up straight, held my breath and kept as still as I could.

I would listen.

Past the crickets chirping happily in the distance, and the branched scraping against each other from the soft sways of the trees, I could hear something. Someone was mumbling stuff under their breath, words I wasn't able to make out, but could still hear. My feet began to move, and before I could open my eyes, I was already following their muffled voice.

I walked to the fence, then walked along it and stopped when their voice stopped as well. It became silent once again, something I once craved, but now it was torture. I could hear the blood rushing from my heart and out into my body, and I could hear the occasional grumble of my stomach, but I couldn't hear them anymore.

I thought I was along. That the person had heard me and ran away, until something emerged from the darkness of the trees and pulled me into the shadows. "What are you doing out here?" an angry whisper that had me shrinking back, I whimpered quietly and moved back a little so I was flush against the fence and now trapped.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," Please don't be mad at me. I just want you to be okay.

"I'm fine. Go back inside," a terse command that had my body shaking, but I don't think it was in fear. I wasn't scared of Harry, per se, but I was scared of what he would do to other people, or even the harmless fence behind me.

"No, talk to me," Talk to me, please. Don't push me away. Taking a chance, that could possibly be the worst mistake of my life, I turned my head up, my eyes focused on the shape of Harry's face, and brought my hands to his cheeks. I could feel his jaw ticking beneath my fingers, and I could feel when his body tensed at the contact, but he didn't move or brush me away. "Don't let her get to you,"

He laughed humorlessly, the sound bouncing around the small space between us and rattling inside my head. "Like I give a fuck what she says," he moved his hands away and took a step back, only to lean against the side of the neighbors house. "Even if I did give a fuck about her or her meaningless words, all she was doing was speaking the truth," he laughed it off like it meant nothing, but I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Truth that you didn't want brought up again," I reminded him, taking a step closer so I could see him again. "What she said may have been the truth, but who is she to think she can tell everybody about your past? If you wanted them to know of your... Adventures? Then you could have told them yourself. She was only trying to humiliate you, but I think it was her who got humiliated in the end,"

I seen his head snap up at my words, meaning I had caught his attention. "How the fuck was she humiliated?"

I smiled softly, glad that he was at least talking to me now. "I may have said a few words," I said quietly, my head bowing. "Mean words," I added, my childish side peeking out.

"Like,"

"I may have called her a dick and more or less told her she was an attention whore," heat flooded my cheeks, and I gulped audibly when Harry took a step towards me. I thought he was going to yell at me, or even trap me in the corner so he could scare me, but then I felt his fingers under my chin, slowly pushing my head up.

We didn't say anything, he just stared down at me and I stared up at him. I didn't flinch, or look away, or even move. I waited patiently.

He brought his hand up to my cheek, his fingers tugging and twirling the short pieces of hair at the nape of my neck, and I melted into his body. This was the Harry I liked, not the asshole who was just trying to scare me so I would leave him alone.

I stood up on my tippy toes and buried my head in the crook of his neck, my lips running along the skin stretching over his collarbone in silent apology. I was apologizing for nothing I did, but everything else. His smooth was skin and felt nice on my skin and god he smelt nice and I... "You were mean to me," I said, trying to save myself from my straying thoughts.

"I have to be,"

Brows knitted, I leaned back, my fingers subconsciously stroking his jaw. "What does that mean?"

"It means I have to be. I have to be careful not to get too close because then I will hurt you so severely you will have to leave me. And I can't let that happen. I haven't had you long enough. It's selfish of me to act like such an asshole so I don't end up hurting you, but I can't hurt you,"

"Your words don't hurt me, you fool. What hurts me is when you push me away and ice me out, or does that not mean anything?" my hand slid down his body and I grasped his arm, my fingers curling around them but they weren't long enough to touch.

"Of course it does. I.. I just don't know how to let me feel the way I am. I want you Louis, more than I have ever wanted anything, but I'm afraid that if I give in and let myself have you, you will end up getting hurt by me, and I know that will hurt you more at the end of the day,"

"Hardly," I rebuked, my fingernails biting into his skin. "You can't make that choice for me. You don't know how I feel. That is my choice to make,"

I could see the war brewing in his eyes, his better judgement fighting with his inner desire. It was a short battle, but when his eyes softened and his jaw became slack, I knew which had won. "I know you more than you think," it was a solemn answer, one that had my heart clenching at my eyes watering.

"You can't possibly know what I want right now," the cracks in my voice showed the way I felt, betraying me and my want to stay strong and emotionless.

I stared in bottomless pools heated with stubborn flare. He wasn't backing down, but neither was I. Beneath his scrutinizing stare, I stood bold, my gaze never wavering even with tears glossing over my blue orbs.

"What do you want?" Finally he questions me, asks me what I want even though he knows he won't take it into consideration. He'll just chew on the information before he spits it out and makes the decision on his own, the decision I am supposed to make.

"I want you to want me," I would give anything I had if it means Harry would want me, forever and always.

"That's the problem, isn't it? I want you, but I can't have you without ruining you," his voice was painfully quiet, his words a whisper in the void around us.

"I would happily be a beautiful disaster made by your hands if it means I get to stay with you, and that you will want me. We could stay in our own little chaotic world, and be happy together," it was a hopeful whisper, but I knew it was nothing more than a fantasy that would be short lived in my head.

"Would you still want to stay with me, even when I let you inside my head and you get to see the way my fucked up brain ticks?"

"I will stay with you no matter what. In case you haven't noticed, I've already stayed and i've seen more of you than anyone else had, you donk," tears clouded my vision, but they didn't fall. I wasn't giving them the chance to.

Now, Harry shrinks back into the shadows; and vicious waves are crashing into my ribcage with the hurt look Harry tries so hard to hide. "Why?" now his voice is small, "Why do you want me?"

With my shaking body and wobbly knees, I took a step towards him, my hand cupping his face. I tried to smooth out his eyebrows, but they just furrowed even more and his eyes became clouded as he got lost deeper and deeper in thought. "I don't want you, I need you. I need you like the earth needs the sun. Without you, my life would be dark and gloomy and I would survive for mere days before everything turned to shit," I tried to sound sincere, but my damn voice cracked again and tears began to burn my cheeks as they fell. Blood traitors.

He looked unsure, but he nuzzled his face into my hand and my body erupted with hope. That was something, or at least it was more than I expected. "You're too good for this world, Louis Tomlinson," and the way he says my name makes me feel so loved. It sounds like a pleased whisper, like he just discovered water for the first time and he was just now quenching his thirst.

We breathed in sync for a second, then two, then three, then, "Now kiss me, you fool," and he did. Lips, bitten raw, but soft, were pressed against mine and I forgot everything that just happened for a split second and I was in my own little world full of fireworks. Everything was right in the world, right then and there, and I couldn't care less what inside that house looks like right now, or what will happen to me when I go back in there. All I care about is here and now, and everything seems to be going just as planned.