I stared at the mirror, trying to convince myself that I wasn't staring at my own reflection, and it honestly wasn't that hard to do. I didn't recognize myself right now, and I doubt anyone else would. My chestnut hair was styled into a perfect quiff, and not one piece of hair was out of place. My light blue eyes were no longer rimmed by my thick, black glasses. Instead, I had my contacts in them and to cover up the fact that my eyes looked so bland, I lightly lined them with some of Lottie's black eyeliner.

My short legs were being constricted by a pair of black skinny jeans, and when I say skinny, I mean skinny. I barely had enough room to move around, but they made my butt look good, in my opinion. My arms, which looked like limp noodles, were completely bare and showing off a few of my arm tattoos. I had on a loose fitting black tank top, and because it wasn't my own and it was actually Harry's that I had borrowed from him, it came to just below my butt.

A light breeze blew through my window and sent a chill down my spin. I shivered softly and wrapped my arms tightly around my torso before I grabbed my phone off my bed and, with one last glance at myself in the mirror, I quietly walked down the hallway. I was almost to the top of the stairs when a familiar mouth watering scent wafted around the hallway. I stopped dead in my tracks and spun around on my heels, then barged into Lottie's room.

"Give me som..." I began, but quickly shut up when I realized Lottie wasn't alone. My hand curled around the doorknob and I was about to turn around, until two pairs of bloodshot eyes turned to me. "Urm, sorry. I didn't know you had company." My eyes drifted from Lottie, whose eyes were redder than i've ever seen them, to a pair of dark brown eyes.

"Nah mate, you can come in. We need a break from this anyway." He said, his lips curling up slightly before his white teeth were being shown. I bite my lip and was about to shake my head, until he lifted up Lottie's blue pipe.

"Ahhhh." I groaned, one foot out of the doorway, while the other one was planted firmly in Lottie's room. Finally, after much contemplation, I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. I quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time, and sighed when I seen I had no texts from Harry, and that I still had twenty minutes before Harry was supposed to pick me up. Though, I would be lucky if I had five minutes.

"Fine." I sighed, shoving my phone into my ridiculously tight pocket, before I grabbed the pipe. I looked back and forth between the two before I lifted it up to my lips and watched as he flicked the lighter, lighting a flame to the green plant.

I inhaled deeply, my lungs automatically screaming for a release. My eyes began to water as I continued to inhale, until finally it became too much and I turned into a coughing mess. I held the pipe as far away from me as my arm would allow me, and coughed until my stomach hurt and I felt the urge to vomit. I stood up straight and wiped the tears away from my eyes, then I looked at both of them.

"Holy shit. Again." The words weren't even out of my mouth before a bright flame was being sparked in front of my face. I smiled at Zayn, then lifted the glass pipe up to my lips again and, like before, I inhaled deeply. I watched as the flame dipped down into the bowl, lighting the green herb and turning it a red color as the cherry grew.

We continued this for a few minutes before the large bowl was finally out. I passed the pipe over to Zayn and smiled lopsidedly at the two of them before I walked out of the room and down the tilting hallway. The stairs seemed to creak louder than they ever have before as I descended them, and when I finally reached the bottom, my heart was beating out of my chest from the irrational fear I had that the stairs were going to swallow me.

I placed my hand over my chest and took deep breaths, feeling as my lungs expanded and eagerly took in the fresh air, before I slowly exhaled. I slowly walked over to the door and pulled on my black converse, and right as I opened the door, a hand was being hovered right over my face.

"Woah," I breathed out, staring up at the large hand that had a metal ring encircling one of the fingers, though I couldn't really tell which one. "Your hand is right in front of my face." I said, then suddenly burst into a laughing fit. I hunched over and placed my hands on my knees, tears once again clouding my vision as my stomach clenched painfully.

"You're in a good mood," Harry remarked, and even in my current state, I could hear the slight tint of judgement he had in his voice.

"Oh yeah, I just smoked a huuuuggggeeee," I paused and held my arms out to show him just how huge I was talking. "Bowl with Lottie and Zayn." My voice was breathy due to how hard I had been laughing only seconds ago, but I honestly can't remember why I had even laughed so hard over my face almost getting pummeled by Harry's large fist.

I wiped my eyes once again, suddenly thankful that I had taken Lottie's waterproof eyeliner, and stood up straight. "What?" I asked when I seen him staring at me, his green eyes dull of any emotions. "Did I do something wrong?" My voice was quiet, and I felt like giggling because of how I sounded and how he looked, but I somehow knew that right now wasn't the time to laugh.

Harry shook his head and ran his palm over his face. "No. Let's go." And just like that, he was back to being himself. His eyes shimmered in the light sunlight and a small smile tugged at his lips as he extended one of his hands.

"I only got high because I was nervous," I admitted quietly, feeling the need to explain to him why I was stoned out of my mind, even though I really didn't have to. Harry shook his head once again and said something, but I didn't catch it, before he enclosed my smaller hand with his and drug me down the steps.

"You look... Hot, by the way," Harry said as he opened the car door and ushered me inside the warm car. I sat down in my seat, relaxing back against the comfortingly warm leather seats, and nodded at him.

"I know." I said and smiled up at him, which was apparently not the reaction he was looking for. "Sorry, Styles. I am too relaxed right now to care that you called me hot." I said and shrugged, being completely honest. My mind wasn't swimming with all the self doubts I had about myself, nor all the things I thought people would point out about me that wasn't perfect, which there was a lot.

That's the main reason that I even smoke weed. It helps me relax and be at ease with myself. It makes my brain quiet down and it actually lets me enjoy the pure beauty that surrounds me, rather than the dark chaos that is constantly clouding my mind and denying me the chance to see just how beautiful the world is through my tainted eyes.

Harry chuckled quietly and closed my door. I watched him as he walked around the car, admiring the way his small bum looked in his jeans that matched mine. I turned my head as he walked, and my eyes stayed on his bum for a little longer than necessary before they moved up his body and stopped on his arms.

Even in the shirt that covered his bicep, which was loose, you could see just how big his muscles really are. I couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to have his muscles dance under my touch as I lightly brushed my hands along them, or even my tongue.

I felt my pants grow a little tighter, but I couldn't stop my straying thoughts. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about discovering every single inch of Harry's skin, to know what dips where and how smooth one patch of skin is compared to the other. I wanted to know what it would feel like to have my short legs tangled with his after we had sex, to have both of our breaths mingle together as we came down from the high that was nothing but natural.

"What's sex like?" I blurted out when Harry set down in the car. I stared directly at him, keeping my steady gaze on him as I awaited the answer to my very personal question. Normally I would have blushed and covered my face with my hands, or I wouldn't have even answered the question. But right now, the filter that is connected to my mouth is broke and i'm saying everything that comes the mind.

Harry inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring a little, and examined my face for a second, to see if I was serious, before he locked my eyes with his. "I don't know how to explain it, but it feels good. And apparently if you do it with someone you love, it feels better?" He said, though his last sentence sounded more like a question than a statement.

"You haven't had sex with someone that you love?" I asked, bewildered by his answer. If he hasn't had sex with someone he loves, then why has he even bothered to have sex? I mean, to me, sex is something you only do with someone you love, or care about on a deep level.

Harry shook his head, his curls flying around his head, and shrugged. "I haven't loved anyone, and I didn't want to wait to have sex so I just fucked whoever wanted to fuck without being in a relationship." He explained, eyeing me as he did so. It sounded like he was choosing each word he said carefully, but based on the way he flinched when I gasped, he decided he didn't choose his words too carefully.

I nodded slowly, trying to digest what he said. I wanted to say something, to tell him that he should have waited until he found someone he loved, but I didn't want him to feel like I was judging him. Besides, I couldn't help the slight bubble of excitement that began to blossom in my chest when my brain reminded me that he hasn't loved anyone yet.

"How many people have you had sex with?" I asked him, knowing I might regret asking the question but it was one I wanted to know the answer to. I felt my stomach clench painfully when he held up his hand and began to count silently, the urge to vomit growing stronger when he had all five fingers held up, but continued to count on his other hand.

"Seven," He finally said, but when he looked at me, I could see the hesitation he had in his eyes, meaning there was more but he just didn't want to tell me. I bit my lip and nodded, my hand clenching into a fist in an attempt to distract me from the pressure that began to grow behind my droopy eyes.

"Can we go?" I asked him quietly, internally sighing when my voice didn't crack and let him know that the number of people he slept with had affected me as bad as it did. The little bubble of happiness that I had felt about him saying he hasn't loved anyone yet was overridden by the pain of knowing that he has experienced things with several, or possibly more, other people. Thing's I probably will never get to experience with him.

Harry opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but he apparently decided against it because he closed it and turned in his seat completely before he began to drive. I stared out the windshield, and much to my liking, my mind slowly went blank again as I gave into my high, which had started to dwindle down just a tad bit.

I had no idea how long we had been driving for before the words that I had wanted to say began to bubble up my throat before I finally opened my mouth and let them escape. "Were they boys, or girls? Did any of them mean anything to you? Have you had sex since you moved here?" I rambled on, asking each question that popped into my mind.

"Woah, calm down," Harry said, holding up one of his hands to single that he needed to catch up with my rapid words. I nodded my head softly and bit my lip, watching his face closely as he thought about that answers to my questions. His face mostly stayed neutral, but just before he answered me, his right eye twitched and his lips fell into a deep frown.

"All boys, except for one and it was a girl," He said, his eyes trained on the road as he spoke. "None of them meant anything to me. I looked at them like a fun bag that was good for only one use before I throw them away," He continued, shrugging when I gasped. His eyes stayed locked on the road, but even from the side view, I could see the very faint twinkle of regret in them.

"And no, not yet. I have been offered it many, many... " He paused and sighed, freeing one hand off of the steering wheel so he could rack his fingers through his tangly curls. "Many times, but none of the ones that have offered have caught my attention," He finished with a long, drawn out sigh, his eyes flickering over to me for a second before he focused back on the road.

I inclined my head a fraction of an inch, on the verge of nodding, until all of what he said clicked. "Alright, Styles. If you could have sex with anyone at this school, who would it be?" I asked, trying to avert any of his attention off of me, who was a squirming mess in the seat at the thought that Harry may have been talking about me.

I chanced a glance at him from the corner of my eye, my lips falling into a frown when I seen his lips were pursed as he got lost in deep thought, or so I thought. "Mrs. Owens," he finally answered, grinning widely at me when my first instinct was to hit me across the chest, which I did. My fingers throbbed painfully, and I honestly think that my attempt to hurt him, hurt me a lot more.

"What?!? She's hot! Especially with that cane. God, imagine what she could do with that wooden cane." Harry stared out into space like he was daydreaming about all the things that she could do with the cane, while I was laughing like a dying hyena in the passenger seat.

"SHE'S 64, HARRY!" I yelled around my laughter. I clutched my stomach tightly, images of Harry bent over her old, wooden desk with his pants pulled down around his ankles popping into mind. My laughter increased tremendously when Mrs. Owens popped up too, in a black leather sex suit and her worn out cane.

When I realized that I could imagine what each wrinkle on her looked like, I quickly changed to subject in my mind and my laughter instantly ceased. "That's disturbing." I faintly whispered, swallowing thickly as vomit began to build up in my throat.

"Fine, fine. You want honest?" He asked, wiping tears from his own eyes. I nodded my head eagerly and looked at him when he began to drive, grinning when I seen his knuckles go a light white color as he gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"I would have sex with you," Harry finally said after five long, agonizing seconds. I had expected him to sound shy or quiet, but he didn't. He sounded proud of the fact that he would have sex with me, which I imagine would be the exact opposite if he had told me this in public.

"Then why don't you?" I asked him, biting my bottom lip as I batted my long eyelashes. I had no idea if I was being serious or not, but if I ever was put into the position to have sex with Harry fucking Styles, there is no way that I would be caught passing up the offer,.

Harry laughed and shook his head, his hands loosening from their death grip on the black steering wheel. "I'll pull over right now and fuck you." He mumbled, his voice dropping a few notches lower as the car swerved over to the white line on the side of the road.

"Okay." I whispered, my heartbeat picking up speed when I seen the car slowly swerve off of the road before we were stopping on the side of a deserted road with nothing in sight, other than the green fields that surround us.

I looked around our surroundings, to try and take my mind off of the fact that I just agreed to have sex with a man who was staring at me like I was a piece of meat. On either sides of us there was nothing but green fields that had a few plants growing, all of them soaking in the remainder of the evening sun.

I looked up at the sky for a split second and I was rendered speechless. The sky was starting to go a darker color, and if you looked in the direction that the sun was setting in, you would see nothing but a pinkish sunset that was so bold compared to the sky. I admired it for a second, because never in my lifetime would I see a sunset that looked exactly like this one.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, a flock of birds flew right in front of the sunset and I found myself falling deeper and deeper into the captivating beauty that nature is. "Louis?" A rough, yet timid voice asked from beside me.

I swallowed thickly and despite the voice in my head telling me not to look at him, I did. I ripped my gaze away from the entrapping view, only to look at another view I would never get tired of admiring. "Yes?" I asked quietly, though I knew why he has said my name.

I knew exactly why Harry had wanted my attention, but I didn't want to believe that my first time would be in a car with a man that I didn't even know if he loved me. I didn't speak my worries, however. I just stayed staring at him, trying to swallow back all of my fears that wanted to come alive, that wanted to be spoken so they weren't forgotten.

"I'm not going to have sex with you right now, so you can breath and wipe away that scared puppy look." Harry said softly, his large hand gently pressing against the side of my face. He ran his thumb along my bottom lip and breathed in deeply, showing me what he wanted me to do.

I mirrored him and took a deep breath in, my tired lungs sighing as some of the pressure was taken off my chest. I gradually closed my eyes, the last thing that I seen being a pair of light pink lips that was only a few inches away from my face. I didn't know where Harry was going to kiss me, and I had wanted to hold my breath in anticipation, but I didn't have time to before a pair of lips were gently pressing against mine.

"Breath," he reminded me, and I wanted to scream at him, to tell him that I was, but I didn't want to take the chance on moving my lips away from his.

When I felt Harry begin to pull back, I quickly lifted my hands up to the sides of his face and held him in place before I cautiously parted my lips. I didn't know what I was doing, but I recalled all the times that me and Harry have kissed, and I did what he did. Tentatively, I moved my soft lips against his chapped ones and with a sudden burst of courage, I ran my tongue along his bottom lip.

Almost instantly, Harry's lips parted and my tongue was slowly slipping into his mouth. I ignored the way his tongue felt against mine, and I focused on the way it felt to have my tongue moving around his mouth, exploring a place that was foreign to me, but not to him. An unexpected vibration against my tongue and lips had my eyes shooting open and my body scooting backwards.

I stared at Harry, my wet lips parted as I gasped in deep breathes. "Did I hurt you?" I asked him, worried that when I had attempted to have my first dominant makeout session, that I ended up hurting his mouth in some way. I swallowed the saliva that pooled in my mouth, a tingle of pleasure running through my body when I tasted to faint flavor of Harry's mouthwash, mixed with a orange flavored drink he must have drank before he came to pick me up.

Harry shook his head and slowly opened his eyes, revealing a pair of green eyes with blown pupils. "I moaned," he admitted a little sheepishly, a light red color tinting his cheeks. And, like boulder hitting me right in the chest, realization dawned on me.

Dear god, I made Harry Styles moan, and blush all in the same sitting.

I grinned widely and leaned forward, my hand resting on his thigh. "I made you moan?" I questioned him smugly, my smile growing when I seen him roll his eyes.

"That's what I just said," He huffed before situating himself so his one arm was resting on the back of his seat, while the other stayed propped up on the steering wheel.

A bulge in Harry's trousers caught my eye, which I probably wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't of moved and made it so he was facing me completely. I grinned wickedly and leaned over the center console more, my eyes staying on the bulge for a few seconds before they moved back up to Harry's face.

"What if I..." I began, but the song 'Dysfunctional' by tech n9ne was suddenly blaring in the car. I scrambled back into my seat and watched through wide eyes as Harry growled loudly and fished his phone out of his pocket, his finger slamming down on the screen as he answered it before he lifted to large, white phone up to his ear.

"What?" He snapped, his eyes flaring for a brief moment. I bit down on my bottom lip harshly and stared at him, watching as his face stayed the same as he listened to the person on the other side of the phone talk. "Yeah, well, I told you I would be there. You don't have to fucking call me and check in on me like you're my fucking mother," He growled into the phone before he pressed the end button and threw his phone in the backseat.

"What?" I asked him cautiously, not wanting to piss him off even further.

Harry inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a second, then readjusted his pants so his stiffy wasn't as noticeable. "Nothing. We just have a bloody party to attend," he growled, and with that said, he started the car once again and we began to drive.

I stared out the window, trying to take my mind off of the fact that my penis was hard in my jeans and throbbing in a painful rhythm. The minutes dragged on painfully slow until I seen the first house come into sight, followed by a couple more before we turned down a street that was full of houses. I sighed deeply and shifted back in my seat, my mind straying to what happened those ten long minutes ago, and the events previous to that.

"Harry, before you said you have had sex with a girl, so does that make you gay orrrr..." I dragged out the 'r' in or, not wanting to finish the sentence because I felt as the heat rose to my cheeks.

Harry cleared my throat and I shifted in my seat, my face automatically burying itself in my shoulder to hide it. "No, i'm not gay. I thought, at one point in time, that if I had sex with a girl my sexual orientation would change," he paused and chuckled under his breath, his shoulders bouncing from the almost inaudible noise.

"But after I boned the chick and lost my virginity, I realized that tits and a vagina was not what I was looking for, considering I fantasized about Johnny Depp the entire time," he admitted with a slight shrug of his shoulders, seeming not at all fazed with the question I just asked him.

I pursed my lips and nodded, opening my mouth to say something but before I could even come up with a full sentence, bright lights filled the dark space around us. I looked down the street, my mouth falling open when I seen a huge house with colorful lights dancing around, lighting up the space for all the teens that littered the space outside.

Harry drove down the long driveway, my chest growing tighter and tighter the closer we got to the house. I felt my chest tighten even more painfully when people began to hit on the windows of the car, their beers splattering all over the windows from their movement. "I can't do this," I whispered to myself, watching through wide eyes as Harry pulled into a empty spot we found, though it was still quite a ways from the front door.

Harry put the car in park and turned it off, turning to me to smile with his heart melting smiled that made his dimples pop out. "Let's go," he said quietly, his hand hovering over my hand before he finally clasped his over mine and gave it a small squeeze. I went to return it, but that moment my finger's lifted up to curl around his hand, he was pulling it back and getting out of the car.

I let my hand fall limp in my lap and turned my direction back up to the house, my heartbeat accelerating to an extremely fast paced rhythm. "Come on," Harry said as he opened my door, not even giving me a chance to collect my thoughts before he was tugging me out of the car and locking to doors.

I didn't even have time to turn around completely before I was being drug down the sidewalk, my body soon colliding with Harry's when he tugged me forward the moment we stepped onto the dark green grass. He pushed past all the swaying teens on the lawn, that danced to the beat of the song that was blaring loudly, and growled a few times at them, which made their eyes widen before they stepped out of the way.

"Harry, slow down," I pleaded, trying to pull away from his side but his arm around my shoulders was keeping me pinned in place.

"Unless you want to be swallowed alive, i'd advise you not to leave my side," Harry whispered/growled in my ear, his arm tightening impossibly tighter around my shoulders and side. I soon found out why he said that when walked through the open door and my ears automatically began to ring.

The music increased loudly and bounced off the walls, which was the reason for my ringing ears, and it vibrated the floor. That, and the few teens that would rather jump up and down, rather than grind on each other like the rest of them. My nostrils were attacked by the heavy stench of sweat, weed, and alcohol, the mixture making my stomach churn painfully.

I buried myself deeper into Harry's side and gripped the front and back of his t-shirt, my body loosening up just a little when I smelt his cologne. I peeped at the space around me, watching with a tight chest and broad eyes as a group of people played what appeared to be a ping pong stripping game in the corner of the room, just beyond the dance floor.

I stood up on my tippy toes and leaned as close to Harry's ear as I possibly could, my feet cramping from the position as I we picked up the speed. "Where are we going?" I shouted in his ear, my head quickly shooting back an inch when Harry leaned his head closer to me, causing his hair to go into my mouth.

"What? Oh, we are going to the kitchen," he said, his accent thicker from him yelling. I nodded and plopped back down onto my feet, both mine and Harry's body moving to the side when a guy in nothing but underwear ran through the house, his hair drenched in what stunk like beer.

I held my breath and buried my face into his armpit, relief washing through my body when I smelt men's axe deodorant. Harry held my close and began to pull me towards the kitchen again when the walkway was somewhat clear again.

We seemed to walk forever before he pulled my into a large room with beautiful white marble counters and stained wooden doors. Harry pulled me to the counter that was right next to the stainless steel fridge with the touchscreen on the front, that not only dispensed ice but water too. The counter was lined with more alcohol than I have ever seen, some of the brands unfamiliar to me.

"What do you want?" Harry asked me, shouting over not only the music, but the few people in the kitchen that were talking. I eyed the alcohol, my eyes lingering on the blueberry vodka. Harry followed my gaze and nodded, grabbing two red cups before he filled mine almost to the top with the vodka, and his with crowns royal.

I eagerly took the cup, being overly excited to taste the blueberry flavored alcohol, and sipped on the sweet, yet burning liquid. Harry laughed when my face scrunched up in disgust, and took a sip of his own drink. I watched him close his eyes for a second and hum in approval, his lips glistening in the light from the alcohol that lingered on his lips.

I tilted my head to the side and lifted my hand up, smiling at Harry when he caught what I was saying and passed me his cup. I held his cup securely in my right hand and lifted it up to my lips, not even bothering to smell it because I knew the scent would be horrid and make me not want to taste it. I tiled the cup back and let the brown liquid fill my mouth before I swallowed, my eyes locked with Harry's while I did.

A fire began to slide down my throat and heat my chest, before it slide down into the pit of my stomach. I gagged a little at the taste, which was bitter, and coughed from the burning in my lungs that only seemed to grow worse from me coughing.

"Slow down there," Harry warned me, prying my hands off of his cup. I unwillingly let go of it, my head spinning and my vision going black when I snapped my head up at the sound of a familiar voice yelling from across the room.

"Harrryyyy, come play truth or dare with us!" Nicole yelled from her place in the middle of the sitting room. Harry looked down at me, his eyes searching mine for approval. I clenched my hand into a fist and and lifted my cup back up to my lips, chugging half of the vodka that filled my cup.

I inhaled deeply and pulled my cup back, a smile growing on my lips when I felt the alcohol began to course through my veins, making my body and head feel light. "Let's go," I said, slurring my words. I grabbed a hold of Harry's free hand and began to drag him in the opposite direction of the dance floor, which was on the other side of the kitchen.

We set down in the two remaining spots in the large circle, that were luckily next to each other, and watched as a girl scooted forward on her knees and spun the bottom, her short, pink dress bunching up her thighs a little. The bottle spun and spun and spun before it landed on a guy with red shorts and a white t-shirt, his blonde hair short and spiked.

"Alright!" He shouted, grinning widely at everyone before he pinned his eyes on the same girl that had spun the bottle, who was just now returning to her seat with the bottle in her lap. "Truth or Dare, Diana?" He asked her, his right eyebrow rising as he smirked over at her, obviously knowing what to ask or say for either choices.

She picked dare, and he dared her to take off her bra, which she did. She slipped the large, white thing from the hole in the arm of her dress and flung it at him, hitting him directly in the face. Everybody cheered and clapped before she dared someone else, the game continuing like that until I finally heard my name being called.

My heart stopped when a male's voice said my name, my throat closing off completely when I seen everyone was staring at me, waiting for me to pick if I wanted to answer something truthfully about myself, or possibly do something that would embarrass me. I bit my bottom lip and looked up at Harry, seeing he was already staring at me, his eyes warning me to pick carefully before he looked back into the middle of the circle.

I held my breath when I finally made up my decision, the alcohol helping me come to a quick decision. My palms started to sweat when I turned to look back at the circle of people, my eyes focusing on Xavier--one of the mid popular students that went to my school. A large grin tugged at my lips when my glazed eyes locked with his shiny grey ones. I set my cup in front of me, after I took a sip, and cleared my throat before I opened my mouth to give them my answer...