TRIGGER WARNING!! (And Spoilers but still)

Okay, there is gonna be a mention of self-harm in this chapter. If you don't like that then you may skip the chapter or part.

If you are harming yourself, I just want you to know that you are beautiful and someone out there cares about you. Please, I love you all and I don't want any of you to get hurt.

~Ivy

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How long has it been since I was out of my room?

Around a month. I had started to loose track.

How long has it been since I've eaten?

Three days.

What did I eat?

An apple and one single grape.

How did I only have an apple and a grape?

By Hugh, who sneaked into my room at night.

What time was it?

Midnight.

When was the last time my father decided to torture me?

Less than five minutes ago.

I tried to untie the rope which was wrapped around my wrists. I managed to untie the rope and placed it on the table beside me. I looked up at the mirror and sighed. My hair was a mess, bruises and blood covered my body, I had dark circles under my eyes, rope marks on my wrists and my stomach kept rumbling.

To top it all off, I haven't heard from anyone all summer. One letter would make me feel better. From anyone. Even if it was a bad pun Sirius decided to make.

I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep, exhausted from the pain.

Pain spread through my body. That's all I could feel. Crucio. Torture. Pain. I screamed again and again. The sounds of  a car crashing filled my ears. A girl screamed and I saw her lifeless body on the ground. Then I was back, and my father stood in front of me. Broken vases filled with daises surrounded my feet. I thrashed around, trying to free myself from the ropes that were wrapped around me. A thousand knives shoved into me again and I screamed, feeling weaker and weaker by the minute. I looked up and saw Hugh, the fear in his eyes as he realises what this family is like. My father looked at me and raised his hand, ready to strike.

I shot up and looked around furiously. No one else. No screams. No cars. No fathers. Just me. Awake at 3 o'clock in the morning. I sighed shakily and looked around, sitting up and leaning against the bedhead. It was just me and a small insect with eight legs. My eyes widened as the spider crawled across my trunk which was across the room, but still very close. I bit my lip and watched it, making sure it didn't go anywhere near me. I stayed like that for the rest of the morning.

9:00. Normal people would be having breakfast. I was still staring at the spider, which had disappeared into my cupboard. I stood up slowly and locked my cupboard door. I grabbed a book and opened it. I started reading.

It said my father was a cruel person because he took my glasses.

I groaned and placed the book down furiously. I walked over to my trunk (while still being cautious because there might be another spider). I flipped through all the books I had, and I couldn't read one word. I sighed with annoyance and lay down on my bed, not being able to do anything.

11:00. My father just walked out of my room. I was getting better at untying ropes but I felt like passing out any minute. I looked outside the window and sighed. Mum, my father and Hugh were getting into the car. Mum kept doing this, she kept taking Hugh out for activities while I stayed in my room, weak and motionless. Now I didn't know who I hated more. My mother or my father.

I limped over to my bedroom door and tried opening it. It wouldn't budge. I groaned in frustration and started banging on it. No one could hear me but I was tired of this. I was tired of staying in my room and I was hungry. I needed food.

I needed chocolate...

Damn you Remus Lupin.

4:00. I hated everything at that moment. I wish my family wasn't like this. I wish it was just like old times where we went on picnics in the field near my house and Sophia would make flower crowns and place them on my head. That was a long time ago. The flower crowns, the memories had died with her.

A tear rolled down my face and I grabbed a pillow, before throwing it to the wall. I started crying, a month, even years of holding it in. I missed my sister and it's my fault she was dead. I threw another pillow at the door. I sobbed and placed my head in my hands. I stood up and walked across the room to get my pillow, when I noticed something in my draw.

I opened my draw and peered inside. It was a pocket knife. I didn't even know I had one, but apparently I did. My eyes widened and I grabbed it. I walked over and sat down on my bed, staring at the knife in my hands. I wiped my eyes and slowly, I brought the knife to my wrist, about to create a line of blood.

Then, before I could, the door opened. I quickly hid the knife under my bed and looked up. It was Hugh, who had a sandwich, a book and pieces of paper in his hands.

"Sorry I couldn't come earlier..." Hugh said.

"It's okay." I sighed and he closed the door behind him.

"I brought you a sandwich." He sat on the edge of my bed and handed me a cheese and ham sandwich. "It was the only thing I could sneak-"

"Thanks." I smiled softly at him and immediately started eating.

"And I found these on Dad's desk." Hugh placed the pieces of paper and the book on my lap. I frowned deeply and looked at the book first. Thankfully, the writing was large enough so I could read it.

"Never Let Me Go..." I read the title and turned it over, which I couldn't read. I sighed and placed it down on my bed. I looked at the pieces of paper and my eyes widened. I squinted my eyes so I could get a better look.

They weren't just random pieces of paper. They were envelopes. All of them were addressed to me. There was at least a dozen, all in different writing, some neat and some rather messy. I flipped through all of them, trying to read through them as best I can.

To Isabel Fall, from Marlene Mckinnon.

To Izzy, from Alice

Dear Isabel, from Lily.

Izzy, answer your letters. We're worried. ~Marlene

Dear Isabel, hope your father isn't doing anything that might hurt you in anyway.

Izzy, Remus says you're not answering your letters. Answer soon.

Oi Fall, answer your bloody letters. Someone might have a heart attack soon.

Hey Fall, did you fall into a coma or something??

And finally in the largest but neatest writing:

Hey Izzy, Mum said I could come to England next year for Summer.

I stared at them for ages. "These were on our father's desk?" I asked hoarsely. I did get letters but I never received them. Hugh nodded. I stood up and stormed out of my room and to my parents, who were in the lounge room.

"What are these?!" I shouted, slamming the letters onto the table. They both looked up and their eyes widened.

"Isabel! What are you doing?!" Mum asked. 

"How did you get out of your room?" My father added.

"Answer my question!! These letter! They're addressed to me!!" I yelled. "Why did you keep them from me?!" 

"How did you find them?" My father hissed, walking up to me. I sighed, thinking of a way of not getting Hugh in trouble.

"I managed to escape from my room and I found these on your desk! I want to read these letters!!"

"You want these letters?" My father asked. He lunged at the letters and snatched them in front of me. I didn't know what he was doing when he walked to the fireplace. He grabbed the first letter, which was from Zoe and before I knew it, he had thrown it in the fire.

"NO!!" I screamed and ran forward to him. I was pulled back by my mother as he threw another. I thrashed around. "No!! Stop!!" My mother tightened her grip and pulled me further away. I stomped on her foot, making her let me go. I ran to my father and grabbed his arm, trying to get to the letters.

He pushed me to the ground and I screamed, the fire burning my arm. Tears rolled down my face as he continued to throw in the letters and I watched them burn to ash.

"Stop it!! Stop it now!! They're mine!! Stop please!!" I begged, crying. He threw in the last one and I wanted to grab it, but I couldn't. My arm was burning, my body was aching, my head was spinning. My father glared and gripped my burnt arm. I flinched and he dragged me up to my room again. He threw inside and locked the door, this time putting more and more charms on the door. 

When I'm mad and I want things. I get stupid and I don't think. Then I get hurt. Badly. Like my burnt arm and the three lines of blood on both my wrists. I put the knife back in my draw and sighed shakily, leaning against the door. 

Now, I didn't know how long the rest of the summer holidays would be. All I knew, is that I hoped that they would finish soon.