The next two weeks it was pretty much routine; meeting Jayden outside my work place, going to the coffee shop and ordering our regular drinks. We made a deal, one day he would pay and then the next I would pay.

Every single minute and second of my thirty-minute break, I made sure to treasure my time with him. Every day, this is what I looked forward to, this is what was keeping me going when I was worn out from typing away at my computer.

Within these two weeks, we learnt so much about each other. It felt like I had known him for more than two weeks.

It was routine for Jayden and I to meet outside my work place, walk to the coffee shop, order our usual and take a nice long stroll back.

"Okay, so there's one question I've been dying to ask you." Jayden exclaims and he takes a gulp of his coffee.

I turn my head in amusement, raising my brows. "Go for it!"

"Marvel or Dc?" He chortled in a cheeky way.

I burst out laughing. I shake my head at Jayden.

"There's me thinking you were going to ask a serious question." I respond whilst still chuckling.

"What? This is serious! I need to know." Jayden shrugs his shoulders, waiting for me to respond.

"Well if you must know, it's got to be marvel." I exclaim.

Jayden roars with excitement. Lifting his hands up as if he won a prize. Bobbing up and down, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me in to a hug whilst jumping up like a giddy child.

I wasn't expecting him to pull me into a hug. Being this close to him felt different. I inhaled the smell of him. Suddenly, I felt protected and safe in his hold. I felt like no harm could come towards me.

For a strange reason, I wanted to stay longer in the hug, but he abruptly backed away and continued to walk.

Clearing my throat and coming back to my senses and paced up to catch up with him. When we got to my work place, we both took the last swig of our coffee and threw the cups in the bin.

As I wave goodbye, he calls out to me. "Alina! Wait!"

I turn around to see him skip towards me. I frown as to why he stopped me. Is he going to ask me another stupid question, I thought to myself.

"Before you go," he starts in a hesitant tone, "I wanted to ask you something."

"Is this another funny question?" I ask subtly chuckling.

Jayden shakes his head with his lips straight and his frowned forehead. I stop my amusement and stare at him. Dread was swirling around me, what could be possibly ask me. I nod my head for him to ask what he wanted to.

"So... I... umm." Jayden begins to stutter.

I place my hand on his arm for comfort. I shoot him a warm smile. He relaxes under my touch and gathers his thoughts before proceeding to ask me.

"So, I was thinking. We've been having a really great time in our lunch break. How about doing something after work or on the weekend."

My hand snaps away from his arm. My eyes freeze and I somehow forgot how to blink. My brain tries piece the words he was saying. No words were allowing to come out of my mouth. I was dumbfounded. Was he asking me out on a date? No, it can't be? Can it? I shift my eyes to the side; I wasn't able to look him in the eye. Constantly I swallow the non-existent saliva in my throat, till the point it was dry, I needed something to soothe the roughness in my throat.

The pupils of my eyes shoot a quick look to Jayden. Slowly blinking, lips parted as if he wants to say something, nervously shaking his leg waiting for me to respond.

Bowing my head down to the ground, I squeeze my eyes shut. After a while I shoot them open, and pluck the courage to look at Jayden. When our eyes meet, I get a quick surge of sickness overwhelm me in the pit of my stomach.

"I... uh... need to go." I stutter.

Without shooting another look, I turn on my heels and sprint towards the entrance of my work place. I couldn't bring myself to turn to look at him. My feet were slamming against the carpeted floor, taking me to the toilets.

As soon as reach the toilets, I charge towards the middle stall, slamming the door shut. I lean against the door, placing my hand over my mouth. Ragged breaths were escaping my mouth. What have I just done?

Jayden, as sweet and innocent as one can be, asked me out and I didn't give him a response. I left him. My heart thuds in my chest, my head bows into my hand.

I am the worst person ever.

***

All night I tossed and turned. My mind kept going over at my stupidity. How rude could I be? How stupid could I be. Everything was going so well, and I ruined what we had.

Most of the work day consisted of me, staring at the clock and jittering my legs under the desk. My stomach felt like it had sunk so low.

The clock finally hit one. My shaky hands pick my bag, my trembling legs take me outside. For the first time the fresh air felt muggy. The air was so thick and hot it was difficult to catch a fresh breath.

I look around to find Jayden but he was nowhere to be seen. Giving him the benefit of doubt, I waited. A few minutes turned into five, ten, fifteen.

Half of my break had gone by and he wasn't here.

I felt like screaming. I felt like crying, yet no tears were able to escape from my eyes. This thirty-minute break was the best, it was the highlight of my day. I formed something special with Jayden, and it was gone.

And this was all my fault.