
Chapter 8-"No, it's still Higgins."
Winter came and spring and summer followed twice. There was something satisfying in having a constant love to carry one through the hardest of times as well as the good times. The death of Racetrack Higgins still was heavy on the hearts of all who'd loved him, but as time drew on, it became easier. Spot and Clarice were now 17 years old and preparing for another winter that was promised to be a doozie.
"I need to find a job." Spot grumbled one afternoon as he was darning his socks. "I'm getting too old to sell papes, I get passed by for the cuter ones all the time now, especially after that growth spurt." His deepened voice didn't help either.
"You're right, I think we both need to get a job and save up some money. Jack was nearly 18 when he stopped selling." Clarice's voice soft and groggy from the freezing fall weather promising a long winter. As sad as it was, Clarice and Jack still weren't speaking to each other, they hadn't seen or spoken to each other in nearly two years. But it was understandable after what happened. Clarice had thought about getting a job as a seamstress, when her and Racetrack came to America her mother had taught her how to sew. From there she'd learned how to knit. She began knitting scarfs and mittens for the newsies, but mostly the younger newsies so they'd be warm in the winter. Being that they already got coats from the nuns in preparation for Winter.
"I've been saving, but it's next to nothing. I'm thinking about asking around on the docks, it's not easy work, but it's good work." Spot stretched. "I know a lady who's hiring seamstresses down the block. She's fair and won't tolerate bigotry. Good Irish lass, Her parents were friends with mine."
"I'll have to go talk to her some time." Clarice had said. She hated what people had called her in the past but that's the past. This is the present it was time for her to grow up, let go of grudges and find herself for who she truly was and what she was capable of doing.
"Talk to her today love, there are lots of people looking for work this time of the year, and it's hard to find a good job once winter really sets in." Spot sat down the socks, he needed to take his own advice. "I'll introduce you and then I'll go down to the docks."
"Alright." She smiled, the girl was excited about her first REAL job and it was something she was familiar with and succeeded at. "And maybe it's time for me to see those Hatten boys again. I haven't seen them in a little over a year." She noted randomly sounding sad and depressed thinking of how she slowly drifted away from them. Were any of them still alive? That's silly to think.
"Grab your coat, Clar, when I head to the docks, you can go across the bridge to ask about them, Snipe is still selling. But the rest are too old."
"I'm a little nervous to track all of them down, what if they're dead or something?" Clarice regretted not seeing the fellas for so long. Clarice grabbed her coat slipping in on as they went outside to the chilly blue sky.
"They're fine I'm sure and don't feel bad." He wrapped an arm around her and they made their way to the shop.
Once there, Spot started grinning, "Lorali McDonnell, you look more beautiful every time I lay eyes on ya!" He really sounded like he was from the old sod, he rarely let that side come out.
"Pat Conlon?!" The fiery redheaded woman with a very rounded abdomen shook her head.
"That's me, meet my lovely girl, Clarice." The pride in his voice was tangible.
"Oh, Pat, she's gorgeous! Welcome my dear, I remember this one when he still wore diapers." She winked at Clarice letting her know there was nothing to worry about.
"Hello," Clarice introduced herself shyly but giggled at the woman's remark.
"Oh no need to be shy around me lassie." The woman beamed, her Irish accent thick.
"Heard you were hiring Lor." Spot grinned.
"You hear just about everything, how do you do that?" She shook her head. "I haven't even posted anything yet."
"I got my ways. What do you say Lorali?"
Lorali laughed, "Lassie, come back here and show me what you know." She shooed Spot with her hands. "I'll send her home later, you go do whatever it is you're doing these days."
"Thanks, Lorali, tell Liam and Sean I said hello." He winked at Clarice and then left to go to the docks.
"So Lassie, tell me a little bit about yourself." Lorali was double tasking, screening and making conversation.
Clarice was still a bit shy, especially when it came to people she was unfamiliar with. "Well I came here from Italy when I was a toddler, my mother taught me how to sew before she and my father, um, died. From there, I taught myself how to knit scarfs and other things." She began to explain before letting out a heavy sigh. "Well around two years my brother Anthony was killed from um, a uh carriage." She gulped feeling a huge lump in her throat.
"Love, I'm so sorry to hear that. I remember hearing about that from Pat. How are you holding up? Can you show me your inseam on this?" Lorali handed Clarice an unfinished shirt.
"Of course, well I put one foot in front of the other. It's hard with no family left." She began to demonstrate her skills.
"Pat's got no family either, but you love each other a lot, I can see it in his eyes."
"I know he loves me, it's not that puppy love you see with young couples like us. If you don't mind me asking what happened to his family?" Spot has never told Clarice about his family and if he did it was the bare minimum.
"I can tell that, but about his family, that's not mine to tell lassie, you'll need to ask Pat, you may need to press the issue, the boy's too private." Lorali observed Clarice's stitching. "Good, you've got the job, Monday through Saturday 8am to 6pm and if you need, after 2, you can take work home. 15 cents an hour. And you keep 80% of commissioned pieces."
"You got a deal, and that's more than what I've made in a lifetime." It wasn't a lie either. The hours were most likely going to be long but she'd do what it takes to get a little money on the table, that way She and Spot could settle down. She still had some of Race's money saved in an old box.
Lorali laughed, "Beautiful, and I don't tolerate any kind of intolerance."
"Pat mentioned that." That was one of the first times Clarice mentioned Spot's name. She knew his real name was actually Sean but he changed it years ago for some reason. So that it's Patrick Sean instead of Sean Patrick either way she didn't care. All that mattered was that she loved him and he loved her.
"I hire based on skill, we are all equals. Has Pat been more grouchy lately?"
"Not to my knowledge he wasn't." She shrugged her shoulders. Clarice felt accepted right away and liked that, she was looking forward to working for Lorali.
"Oh good." Lorali smiled with a sigh of relief. "Do you want to stay today, or start tomorrow?"
"I'll start tomorrow if that's possible." Clarice smiled as she shook the woman's hand.
"Good, tell Pat that if he needs any help finding a place, Liam can keep his ears open." Lorali knew a young couple trying to get themselves ready for marriage when she saw one, she'd been in the position herself only 6 years ago.
"I will tell him, again, Thank You so much." Clarice said becoming excited.
That evening, Spot came into the Lodging House looking exhausted. "Hey." He smiled tiredly, it didn't reach his eyes like it normally did. He kissed Clarice's cheek tenderly.
"Where have you been all day? I was starting to get worried." She said immediately, hugging him.
"They wanted me to start right away, one of the men working there died last night and somehow, I won out over all the other guys busting at the place for the job."
"That's great. Lorali gave me the job too, I start tomorrow." She was ecstatic that they both now had real jobs so they could move out of the Lodging House soon.
"The foreman is an asshole, but the pay is good." Spot hugged Clarice resting his head on her shoulder sleepily.
"Well at least you have a job." Clarice stroked his hair also feeling sleepy from the day, she knew she had to get up bright and early which wasn't her cup of tea. It is a known fact that Clarice Francesca Higgins was not a morning person.
"Is there anything to eat?" Spot mumbled against her neck, his stomach grumbling loudly.
"There's still some food left over from supper, it's downstairs." Clarice assured kissing his forehead knowing he was tired.
"Thank's las," Spot kissed her cheek and went down to get dinner before coming back to bed and passing out as soon as his head hit the pillow. This became his new routine, he was up and out the door by 4am and not back until 8:30.
Clarice had gotten used to her new routine. She was up by 7:15 and occasionally went home around 2, although one particular time she decided to go to Hatten on her break. Manhattan seemed different, not what it used to be. She decided to walk around town where soon she spotted an old friend. "Blink?" She questioned. The boy looked a bit different; he didn't have his signature eye patch anymore and he was taller and more muscular.
The man did a double take, "Clarice Higgins? Or are you Conlon now?" He grinned, glad to see her, his bad eye was glassy and the white scars were obvious, but he was ok with that now. His wife had helped him with that. Clarice giggled,
"No, it's still Higgins." She noticed the gold wedding band on the man's ring finger. "You got married!" Clarice shocked and confused at the same time taking the man's hand while studying his ring.
"Oh, yeah," He laughed merrily. "Only about 3 months ago. You remember Annalies?"
"Yes the Mayor's Daughter, the one who had Scarlet Fever." She suddenly remembered it had been so long. It made a good headline though.
"Yeah." Blink was blushing like a schoolgirl. "She's the love of my life."
"That's great, do you know what happened to the rest of the fellas?" Clarice questioned wanting to know about the others.
"Mush is engaged to a lovely girl from Queens and working for a construction company there. Jack ended up going to Santa Fe 6 months ago with Davey's sister Sarah right after they got married. No one expected that to last, but hey, not gonna judge. Dave is working himself to death trying to put himself through school over in New Jersey. Les is still selling papes and is a chip off the old block and more. Skittery is working at the Bronx orphanage and is engaged to a real pretty girl who's a nurse. Bumlets got locked up for stealing money from the bank he was working for, but turns out he was framed and was released, but in the process fell in love with one of the secretaries at the courthouse. They are fixing to get married in April and Bumlets is working at another bank. Boots just stopped selling this summer and is working as a bartender. Itey got hurt in an accident at the docks and lost his arm, but now he's working at a restaurant and doing well for himself. Crutchy is working as a clerk for a law firm, got a girlfriend and is going to night school, Dave helped him a lot, kid got himself out of selling papes before some of the older ones like me." Blink ran his hand through his hair. "How's life with Spot over in Brooklyn?"
Clarice was so taken aback, She wanted to ask a million questions all at once. It saddened her that the majority of her old pals were scattered or moved on, Blink still lived in Manhattan. She didn't know what to say, the girl was speechless and shocked at the same time.
"Oh my gosh, everyone's in different places, but good for them. I miss them terribly. Spot and I just recently got jobs a few months back around October. I'm working as a seamstress while Spot is working the docks, we're trying to save up to put a down payment on an apartment." She was crushed that she didn't come back sooner before everyone left. She regretted it terribly but most of all she didn't attend their weddings nor did she know about it. She felt betrayed.
"That's wonderful, but you look sad, what's wrong?" Blink had always been good at picking up on people's emotions, it was a natural gift.
"It's just no one told me anything, I just feel slightly betrayed is all." The sadness in her voice stook out like a sore thumb. Why did this have to happen? Why didn't anyone visit her or vise versa? It wasn't fair.
Blink looked guilty, "When we didn't hear from you, I guess a lot of us, myself included, figured it was too painful and you'd rather move on without us. Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that Clar."
Clarice shook her head, brushing it off. "No it's alright I just needed to get my life together and move on. I regret not going to Manhattan for a solid year, maybe longer. I missed so much." She sighed as she felt the waterworks welling up in her eyes. She rubbed them briskly.
"Well I know I missed having you around. Things aren't the same around here, but seeing you brings back the old days." He sighed. "We've all parted ways and only catch up briefly here or there, it's a different life now."
"Well Thanks, me too. I miss all of you guys. It's just hard for all of us to get together, you got a job?" She was curious about his life, but it was really just her being nosey like always. "Or what are your plans, everyone else seems like they're either engaged, married, going to college or got stable jobs." Clarice felt like the odd ball but she and Spot were waiting till they were 18, besides if Race was alive he'd kill her for getting married at 16 or 17, he wouldn't actually kill her though. Those two were stuck like glue.
"I'm actually working for the prison as a guard. Funny isn't?" He shook his head. "My old man is probably rolling in his grave. The wife's glad I'm bound to stay outta trouble this way. It's hard to believe I'm going to be legal next month. Life goes by so quickly."
"That's interesting, I bet it's hard dealing with criminals everyday, do you ever have to take part in any executions?" Clarice was satisfied, She wanted to know everything. Death Row seemed scary though especially dealing with executions and having to watch someone die on your own watch. It must be scary.
Blink shook his head. "I work at the women's facility, it's sad more than anything, most are just misunderstood, and it coulda happened to any one of us, we just got lucky. And we don't execute our inmates, if there's someone that high security, they go somewhere else. We see a lot of women in on prostitution charges, like I said, it's sad."
Clarice felt relieved, that would be traumatizing enough seeing someone be executed by electricity. "Well that's not too bad but also terrible to think. Remember when we were locked up overnight after the Rally?" Clarice laughed at the memory.
He laughed too, "There were so many of us, they didn't even register us properly. Since you were in pants, I don't even think they realized you were a girl."
"Prolly not since I had done my hair in a crown braid that particular day." She laughed. She remembered that terrible awful night. Everyone was separated from each other. She couldn't stand not seeing Race and Spot overnight, the cell was dirty and dark and full of bugs, she has never felt more traumatized and scared in her lifetime.
"That was a rough, but worth it experience. The whole strike was. I am still shocked we won."
"Me too, but hey we beat the most POWERFUL men in all of New York, it was victory for us all!"
"Maybe we should band together again and try to get women the vote. That's all Anna talks about these days." Blink thought it was just stupid to not allow women to vote. In his experience, they were often much smarter and much better at foreseeing things than men anyway.
"I can't say I blame her, plus when I found out Teddy Roosevelt was in the election I was eager but knew I couldn't. At least he's President." Clarice said sadly but proudly. She was proud that she got to meet him before he became the leader of the country.
"If it makes you feel better, none of us could vote either, can't vote till you're 21." Blink shrugged. "Good old Teddy, bet Jackie Boy was excited."
"I bet, I wanted to make amends with him, but I guess I'll never get my chance." Clarice retorted running a hand through her long dirty blond hair.
"I'm sure I could get my hands on his address if you're interested in writing him a letter." Maybe that would be the best way for her to go about it anyway, Jack didn't like to listen to people.
"That's a good idea, I could write to him. Well I better get back to the shop, my boss will prolly think I drowned in the river or something." The girl laughed. "You should come over to Brooklyn sometime. I'd like to meet that wife of yours if that's possible."
"Actually, you and Spot should come over for dinner sometime." He wrote down the address of where he was living in a small notebook he kept in his pocket. "Stop by anytime." He tore out the paper and handed it to her.
"Thanks Blink, Maybe next week works, Spot actually has a day off next Saturday, does that work?" She asked. Clarice couldn't wait to see Blink again and write Jack a letter to make amends.
"I'll let the missus know, see you then Clarice, tell Spot I said hello." Blink waved at her and then he was gone.
"See ya then." Clarice couldn't wait to tell Spot everything. Once at the Lodging House, around 9:30, he was already upstairs writing something out. "What are you doing?" She questioned it looked like a deposit slip from a bank. She wrapped an arm around her man.
"Gonna put my paycheck in the bank, can you take it by in the morning?" He yawned before tugging her down to kiss her lips softly.
"I don't mind. Let's get to bed. We both got a long day ahead of us." She yawned as she spoke. Spot and Clarice were $30.00 short of getting that apartment.
"I don't know what's worse, how bad my back hurts right now or how much I wish you were my wife already." He grumbled scrubbing at his eyes. He knew that was a terrible thing to imply, but he couldn't deny the fact that he needed some comfort right now, and after listening to married men talk all day, well...
"Don't worry once we save up some money we'll have a proper wedding." She kissed his chapped lips. She just wanted to marry him already. It was as if she couldn't wait any longer either.
"You don't think I don't know that?" He was more grouchy than usual.
"I'm just saying, Race promised me he'd make sure of that." She felt like someone was ripping her heart out when she thought of the memory.
"I know what he promised you and I know what I promised you. I WILL NOT break my word." He huffed, sick and tired of people at work thinking he was somehow unreliable and untrustworthy. He was so tired. He knew she didn't mean anything, he was just exhausted.
"Babe, I know you're exhausted. Don't let someone drag you down like that. They're not worth it, ti amo." She said those sweet words in italian.
"I could listen to your voice all day." He smiled, capturing her lips again, this time with more hunger then perhaps ever before.
"I know you could." She whispered into his neck cuddling up to him relaxing in his embrace.
"How was your day?" He pulled her closer, feeling much warmer.
"Actually I went down to Manhattan and ran into Blink, he's got a wife now. Can you believe that?" She felt her eyes get heavy from her tiredness, working as a seamstress wasn't hard since it was one of her natural states. It's just the hours are long.
"Hmm, that's interesting, I believe it though, he's always had a good head on his shoulders for a Hatten boy. I'm assuming most of them have moved on with life by now?"
"You're actually right, listen to this. Jack and Sarah moved to Santa Fe, Crutchy and David are both in College. Bumlets was locked up but turned out it was a false accusation. Mush is engaged, Itey lost his arm. Les is still selling, Skittery got a job at an orphanage and Boots got a job bartending at Medda's." She was out of breath from explaining.
Spot chuckled at his dear girl getting winded from her excitement. "Sounds like they made it out well. Most of the kids here either die or wind up in jail. Some leader I am." He snorted, hiding his insecurity.
"Yeah but you're nearly 18 and plus it might be time to give your leadership to someone else." She rubbed the small of his back slightly massaging it. "It's not your fault all those guys did what they did, it was their life choices to screw up, not yours."
He nodded his head, biting the inside of his cheek preventing a moan from escaping his throat at her hands, they felt so good against his aching back. "I will." He whispered, his voice betraying him.
Clarice had gotten tired so she rolled over slowly drifting off to sleep but someone unexpected had shown up in her dreams along the way. In the dream it was pitch black until she saw a small light coming from the darkness. As the figure got closer and closer she realized who it was. "Tony? What are you doing here."
"I needed to let you know I'm proud of you." He kissed her cheek.
Racetrack hasn't shown up in her dreams in well over two years since the accident she had the recurring nightmares. Did she somehow die in her sleep? No that's not possible it's just a dream.
"You've grown up Clar, and shoot, Spotty's gotten tall. Is he taking care of you? I mean, I know he is, but well, are you happy with him?"
"Certo che lo sono, Antonio." She said slapping his arm playfully. "Did you hear about the others?" She asked, sure he checks up on them too.
"They're all very happy, and I am happy for them. I need you to do me a favor, Sorella." He smiled sadly.
"What's that?" She smiled feeling the suspense.
"I need you to let me go. I'm ready to move on now, but I can't, knowing you are still clinging onto me. I'm ready Clar." He kissed her cheek again.
Clarice knew it would be hard to let him go. She's been using him as an excuse for so long or she'd bring him up around the most inconvenient situations. "Sempre." Was all she said. "But I can't let go of you Tony." She ran to him clutching onto him as she hugged him.
"You can, I know you can, I wouldn't have asked you otherwise, I've been waiting for months now." He squeezed her as tight as he could.
"I think I can, you know Spot and I have been talking about marriage, that's gonna be even harder without you." She sighed saying that. She figured she'd get that off of her chest before waking up.
"I'll always be with you Clar, don't you worry about that. As for marrying Spot, you know I approved of that before he even asked you on a date." He winked at her. "It's a good thing I died Clar, I'm happier than I'd ever dreamed was possible. I didn't realize how miserable I was until I realized how happy I could be."
"I know that, but I have no family to walk me down to give me away and you were going to be that one. Who's gonna do that now? But I'm glad you approved." She kept a smile on her face even though she was also crying.
He stroked her hair trying to comfort his distraught sister. "Ask Blink, tell him if he doesn't I'll haunt him real good. He was really good to us, he's as close to family as we got besides Spot."
"Maybe I will, I thought about asking Jack but he's away in Santa Fe and besides him and I still aren't speaking." She shrugged her shoulders. Blink was more close to her though.
"Jack's not all that smart, I wouldn't want him walking you down the aisle, he's only got himself on his brain." Race snorted with disdain.
Clarice let out a laugh. "Oh yeah remember Ambastards?" She giggled.
"How could I forget?" Race laughed merrily. "I think Davey died when he said that."
"All of us did, I didn't get to see the rest after Blink took me to Harlem with him."
"See, ask Blink, he's a good guy, he doesn't know it yet, but he's going to be a father soon. Don't go telling him that either because I shouldn't have even told you."
"You mean his wife is...you know, Anthony, that's awesome. I promise I won't tell him, I promise." Clarice kissed his forehead. Typical Italian.
"Love you Clarice, always will, I'll always watch over you. Sempre." He whispered and then he was gone.
Clarice woke up feeling mixed emotions, she was shocked, emotional, happy and excited all at once. Luckily it was 3:30 in the morning Spot had just gotten up for work. "Spot you won't believe the dream I had."
Spot smiled at her before stifling a yawn, "Must have been something else, you never wake up this early."
"Tony showed up in my dreams and he told me that I should let go of things and some other stuff I can't tell yet."
"That is quite a dream A chuisle mo chroí." He kissed her forehead tenderly. He had NEVER spoken to her in his native tongue before, Spot was sure Clarice didn't even know he spoke anything other than English.
"I didn't know you spoke Irish, but I shouldn't be surprised. You're quite romantic when you speak like that." She flirted.
He winked at her eyes sparkling. "You are my heart, A chéadsearc, please marry me." He whispered kneeling down next to their bed, a thin golden band between his right thumb and pointer finger. He'd dreamt of Tony too, the idiot had threatened him with hell to pay if he didn't propose soon. Spot obviously, by evidence of the ring, been planning on it for a long time, but he'd been too nervous.
Clarice was shocked by him. She couldn't hardly believe her eyes, "Of course I will." The tears began to flow suddenly from her eyes. "Ti Amo."
He slid the ring onto her ring finger and then kissed it. "You make life worth living." He whispered a tear rolling down his cheek.
"Non capisci da quanto tempo lo stavo aspettando." She spoke in Italian. Making Spot look quite confused but he didn't care. As long as she was happy.
"No idea what you just said, but that smile makes me feel like the richest man in Brooklyn." He winked at her happily.
"We have a wedding to plan soon." She kissed him passionately. Smiling into the kiss.
"That we do, but for now, I need to get to work. Try to get a few more hours of sleep, I don't want you being grouchy all day." He teased before finishing getting ready for the day.
"Have a good day, see you later." As he left for work, the ecstatic girl tried to go back to sleep but she couldn't. She was too excited.
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