It has been a whole solid month since Racetrack Higgins was killed in the carriage accident. Clarice had nowhere near gotten over her brother's death, after the funeral she didn't have the energy or enthusiasm she usually had. It seemed to an untrained eye that she had overcome that. But in reality: the overly excited and ambitious about everything front she was putting up was just that, a front, but not too many people even recognized it.

As she awoke in the Brooklyn Lodging House she felt quite chipper today. She walked down the stairs where everyone was just getting ready for the chilly fall day. "Hey, Spot, you know I was thinking I might go over to Manhattan to hang out with the usual crew, you know it's been awhile. Maybe I'll hang out with Blink or Crutchy or maybe Mush. I can't decide what do you think? " 

Spot was unsettled and taken aback by her excitement. about this. She NEVER acted like this before. Clarice excitedly kissed his cheek. 

He didn't trust this. "How about I come over with you." He tried to smile, but he was not sure it was successful.

"Oh Spotty, I'll be alright." She had that crazy look in her eyes almost as if she was going insane but somehow had a huge smile on her face. "But since you offered, I guess you can go with me." She said being reasonable for once.

"What time do you want to leave?" Spot raised an eyebrow. Spotty, where did that come from? She has never called him that before. It was unnerving.

"Uh how bout 12:30." He continued to raise an eyebrow, "Great!" Clarice sounded very overly cheerful.

Spot had a raw potato in the pit of his stomach, but he didn't know what to do. This was harder than losing Race or anyone else. Once someone died they weren't there. It was like Clarice had died with her twin, but he had to still see her everyday. "I'll wait for you by the bridge." He was going to be watching her like a hawk. He didn't trust this sudden cheeriness.

She pounced on Spot and tightly hugged him. She got off of him and went back upstairs where their room was. Spot had a separate room since that was tradition for the King. Spot had been letting Clarice bunk with him since there were rarely other girls. Clarice grabbed a pile of fresh clothes and quickly put them on almost tripping over her own two feet. She did her hair in a regular crown braid, half up half down. She ran back downstairs just as Spot was leaving. "Wait up Spotty, I'm ready to go." She chirped.

"Clar, please, do me a favor and either tell me why you're calling me Spotty or stop, it's making my head hurt."

"And why not, I called my brother Racer all the time, I can't call you Spotty? geesh." She shrugged her shoulders. Spot has never acted like this in all the years he's known her.

"And others have called me Spotty, but just the tone you're using makes my skin get all prickly." Spot couldn't lie to the girl. He kept his voice soft and was trying to not be harsh.

Clarice's face fell a bit, it was almost like someone had punched her in the stomach repeatedly. Maybe he just didn't like her calling him that in an overly excited tone of voice but maybe things'll change. "I guess that's okay Spotty-I mean Spot." She cut herself off, she now felt awkward around him.

Spot sighed. "Clar, what's going on? First you're selling like there's no tomorrow and making everyone think there's a fire in your blood or something, and now you're all chipper like this, talk to me." He rested a hand on her arm.

Clarice sighed. "Alright." Spot sat her down on the sofa as he sat next to her. "First of all, I'm fine, really I am. It's just ever since-" She got quiet for a minute cutting herself off again. "It's just um, well. Ever since, well you know. It's just been hard." She quickly got up from the sofa and was now pacing the room. "God I miss him, I want him back. I feel like I belong in the nut house or something."

That was no lie either, for weeks she hadn't been herself, she had been making everyone worry about her. Even the boys from Hattan were worried and they didn't hardly see her anymore. Clarice sat back down on the couch sighing feeling lousy, losing her false energy like a balloon.

"I miss him, and I miss you." Spot ran his thumb down her cheek tenderly.

She felt all warm inside, she really had the urge to kiss him. But she should wait for him to do that. Clarice felt a single tear trickle down her cheek. She knew she was still learning how to cope being that she literally has no family left. Anthony Higgins was her last living family member and now he was gone.

Spot couldn't help himself any longer. He kissed her tear away and then the corner of her mouth and his eyes flicked to meet her glistening ones to see if she held any desire for him to continue.

They slowly got closer until they were inches away. Spot placed his hand on her cheek where her tears were, they both simultaneously closed their eyes as their lips met. It was like magic. Clarice has never been kissed like this before. It was strange but it was warm and welcoming.

When he parted from her briefly he kissed her nose and then whispered "He'll never be completely gone from your heart, but he would want you to be the same sister he loved passionately."

Clarice let out a small giggle before replying with "You're right, I shouldn't be someone I'm not. I should go back to the old Clarice, the Clarice everyone knows and loves and not someone who's a phony just because something bad happened in their life." 

"It's normal to be sad Clarice, shit, I'm still sad too." He rested his forehead against hers.

"But you know what, we put one foot in front of the other, like you said." She smiled. He planted a kiss to her forehead sweetly.

"Love you." He whispered boldly. He'd wanted to say that for years!.

"Love you too." She whispered. She knew everything was going to be alright. Race was right...Spot was going to end up with her. Clarice was certain of that now.