Chapter 17: Complexities

Seryoso ba 'to?

I stared at the two perfectly plated breakfast trays set in front of me by two equally grinning, and not to mention, sexy chefs. 

"Diosa, try mo 'tong Belgian waffles with fresh cream and strawberry sauce na ginawa ko," Kuya Alfred pushed the tray towards me.

"Goddess, I prepared muesli with fresh fruit and blueberry yoghurt for you," Prince grinned at me and I looked at the tray complete with an elaborate mini flower arrangement.

As in seryoso talaga 'tong dalawang 'to?

I could see everybody on the breakfast table trying to hide their smiles. Naka-naman kasi 'tong si Kuya at Prince, parang mga baliw talaga.

"Sige na, Diosa. Favorite mo 'tong orderin sa resto di ba?" I narrowed my eyes at Kuya Alfred. Sige Kuya, gamitin ang powers ng pangungunsensya. 

"Goddess, fresh lahat nung fruits. Binili ko yan sa palengke," Sige Prince magpa-cute ka. Patulan ba daw yung baliw kong Kuya, may saltik ka rin, no?

Seryoso, pinapapili nila ako between the two of them? Bwisit 'tong dalawang to, ang aga-aga, ang sarap pag-untugin!

"Okay, fine," I set my hands on the table. "Kuya Aidan pahingi nga po ako ng malaking bowl."

"O, eto." He handed me a large earthenware bowl designed to hold viands. I lifted Kuya Alfred's plate of waffles first and he beamed happily before his face fell when I dumped all of the contents into the bowl. Next, I took Prince' creation and dumped it on top of Kuya Alfred's waffles.

"Penge ngang strawberry syrup Ate Lena," iniabot niya sa akin yung bote ng syrup at nilagyan ko yung magkakahalong pagkain sa bowl.

"Diosa anong ginawa mo?" Kuya Alfred's face was aghast.

"Goddess...?"

"Wag kayong magulo," I took a spoon and mixed everything in the bowl before taking a bite, "Hmmm... not, bad.

"Diosa, nasira na yung flavour," Kuya Alfredo pouted at me. I saw Prince hide a grin with a cough.

"Hindi kaya, mas masarap na siya ngayon," I took a spoonful and fed him, "Try mo kasi muna." He chewed with much reluctance.

"O ano, masarap?" I asked him and he gave a small nod.

I took another spoonful and offered it to Prince, "Indulge me," I glared at him. He immediately took a bite and swallowed.

"I don't like choosing between the two of you. Gusto ko magkakasama tayo ng maayos. Kung yang food nga pwede i-mix, then kayong dalawa rin, kahit gaano ka-weird, pagsasamahin ko kayo. Tara, kain na tayo."

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 "Talagang pinatulan mo pa si Kuya Alfred," she pouted at me as we walked hand in hand between the rows of strawberry plants.

"Sorry, ang sarap lang kasing asarin ni Kuya," I grinned down at her, "Bakit ganun si Kuya Alfred sa'yo? Parang weird lang kasi okay naman yung iba mong kapatid sa akin eh."  Kaninang paglabas ko kasi sa kuwarto asar si Kuya Alfredo sa akin dahil di daw ako nagpaalam na tatabihan kong matulog si Aya. The eff--

"Na-trauma kasi si Kuya Alfredo nung bata pa kami," she stopped and sat down to take a photo of a strawberry hiding in the undergrowth, "Muntik na kasi akong ma-kidnap nung seven years old ako. Nag-aaway kasi sila Mama at Papa noon dahil nambababae si Papa kaya inutusan siya na ilabas muna ako ng bahay. That time, fifteen years old si Kuya tapos yung girlfriend niya nagseselos sa akin."

"Bakit nagseselos?" I sat down next to her and plucked a strawberry.

"Ewan ko, girls can be weird," she wrinkled her nose. I polished the strawberry on my pants before I took a bite.

"Kung maka-weird ka naman parang di ka girl," I chucked her on the chin and offered her half of the strawberry. She eagerly accepted the fruit and licked the side of her lips where some of the juice escaped.

"Hindi naman kasi ako selosa as a kid saka I never really acted like a girl," she looked up to me with a smile, "first time ko magselos dun kay Mel." Ouch!

"Sorry," I pulled her in a hug. "Okay, so anong nangyari?"

"Nagyaya yung girlfriend niya na mag-skating sila sa SM. Sinama naman nila ako pero iniwan ako dun sa tabi kasi hindi naman ako marunong. Na-bore ako kaya lumabas ako ng rink tapos may lalakeng humablot sa akin." She frowned at the bad memory, "tinakpan niya yung bibig ko ng basahan kaya di ako nakasigaw pero may ale na nakakita at siya yung sumigaw na may kidnapper. Sobrang galit na galit si Kuya. Sinapak saka tinadyakan niya yung lalaki. Kahit madaming umawat nagwala pa rin siya. Nahihilo ako nun pero naalala ko nagalit ako kay Kuya Alfred at sinabi ko na ayoko na sa kanya at sana nawala na lang ako. Hindi ko na maalala yung ibang nangyari kasi nung nagising ako nasa ospital na kami."

"Eversince that time naging sobrang paranoid na si Kuya Alfredo. Lagi na siyang nakabantay sa akin. Nagagalit nga yung girlfriends niya kasi inuuna niya ako lagi kahit di ko naman siya tinatawag. Sabi niya, 'yung girlfriends daw kasi pwedeng palitan pero yung sister niya hindi'. "

"Wow Aya. Promise di ko na aasarin si Kuya. I had no idea." Nag-skyrocket bigla yung tingin ko kay Kuya Alfredo. Darn, wala akong kapatid na babae and I never thought of giving up anything for my younger brother ever.

"Mahal ako ng mga kapatid ko Prince, they practically raised me kasi yung parents ko sobrang naging magulo. Before I was born, malabo na sila dahil nga may mga anak sa labas si Daddy. Si Kuya Aidan at Adam. While I was growing up, I had a phase na galit ako sa parents ko dahil feeling ko dapat hindi na lang ako pinanganak kasi wala naman silang time sa akin at hindi na rin nila mahal ang isa't-isa. I always felt like I was just a mistake." Her voice got really soft and I could see the tell-tale signs of tears. Shit, wag kang iiyak.

"Don't cry Goddess," I pulled her tighter, "Walang batang pinanganak na isang pagkakamali. If you weren't born, then how would I be able to meet the half of my soul and the whole of my heart?"

"Kainis ka naman pinapa-in-love mo ako lalo eh," she tried to hide the smile lurking at the corners of her mouth.

"Kinilig ka naman," I teased her and she slapped my arm. "Paano ba yan? Sadyang loveable ako eh." I said as I kissed her forehead.

"Kapal!"

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Nag-stop over muna kami sa Halsema at nagcustomary group-pic sa highest road in the Philippines. Everybody milled excitedly around taking photos, drinking coffee or hot choco.

"Goddess, gusto mo ulit mag-Instagram?" I pulled her towards me as we stood by the sign that said 'Highest Point in Philippine Highway System.'

"Hala walang signal dito, mamaya na natin i-upload," she tilted her face to mine and kissed me just as her camera phone clicked.

"Aya picturan mo naman kami ni Sab," Kiko handed his I-phone to us.

"Teka isama natin si Aya!" Sab complained and Kiko pouted.

"Tayo munang dalawa tapos kasama si Aya!" he put his arm around her shoulders and tilted his head towards her. Sab had no choice but to smile at the camera.

"Kiko, ang weird mo," she remarked as she pulled Aya and I took their photo. Aya couldn't help but grin as I winked at her. Hay naku Sab, ikaw na manhid.

"Hay naku Sab, summer loving kasi!" she nudged Sab's waist as the other raised an eyebrow.

"The heck? Itong si Villanueva?" She ruffled Kiko's hair, "Kayo talaga lakas mag-joke."

"Bawal ba?" Kiko frowned at her and she pinched his cheek.

"Harhar, Kiko, harhar..." she stuck her tongue out at him, "Aya alam kong super inlababo ka ngayon, pero wag mo kami idamay ni Kiko," she draped her arm over him.

Kiko sighed,"Anlabo mo." He murmured darkly. Sab looked like she swallowed a pineapple whole.

The sounds of Aya's brothers bickering broke the tension.

"Ali testingin natin yung parkour mo. Baba ka nga dun sa kabilang bundok tapos 'nakaw ka ng broccoli para may ulam tayo mamaya," Aidan shoved Alistair on the edge of the cliff which earned him a deathglare.

"Gago, pwede naman akong bumili ba't tayo magnanakaw?" Iritadong sabi nito.

" 'Kaw talaga, asan ang thrill don? Samahan mo na rin ng usa pag may nakasalubong ka pababa,"

"Eh kung kabitan kaya kita ng C4 bomb at ihulog kita diyan sa bangin?" Alistair calmly stated. "You do realize that we are talking about the proverbial Schrodinger's cat. I wonder how long it would take for your screams to reach the peak after you were dead?"

"The heck, anong kinalaman ng Quantum Physics dito?" Adam guffawed.

"Wag mo bwisitin si Ali, baka mamaya gantihan niya yung pick-up mo," Alfredo muttered, "Naalala ko dati ni-rewire niya si Lady at buong linggong bwisit na bwisit ako kasi tuwing bubuksan ko yung air-con tumutugtog ang "Isang Linggong Pag-ibig" sa kotse ko."

"Pota wag mong gagalawin si Barney!" Aidan shoved Ali and the other grinned evilly.

"You were asking for it," Kinotongan niya si Aidan, "Lagyan ko kaya ng poison gas para pag nag-start mag-kulay green ka?"

"Fuck you Ali!"

"No way, I don't do yaoi."

"Teka lang ang bagal ng re-uptake. Hindi pa nakakahabol yung axons at dendrites ko," Aya clutched her head.

" 'Kaw naman kasi Aya, sineseryoso mo lagi si Kuya Ali," Adam pulled her into a hug, "basta ang gist, deads na si Kuya Aidan agad-agad."

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"Uy anong tawag dun?" Tiningnan ko ang tinuro ni Aya sa labas ng sasakyan. Mga dilaw na prutas iyon na nakatali nang magkakasunod. Maraming ibinebentang prutas sa stop-over at naisipan ng lahat na tumigil muna para makapag-banyo.

"Granada," sagot ko, "gusto mong tikman?"

"Granada? Ji-no-joke mo naman ako eh," she wrinkled her nose at me. I couldn't resist dropping a kiss on her nose.

"Sige, bili kita ha tapos tikman mo kung bakit Granada yung tawag sa kanya," I disentangled myself from our embrace and went down the pick-up.  Dalawang tali yung binili ko tapos bumili na rin ako ng dalawang Sprite sa tindahan.

"Here, try mo," Iniabot ko kay Aya yung isang tali.

"Ang smooth naman ng texture nito. Paano 'to kinakain?"

"Buksan ko para sa'yo?" I quickly pulled off one of the smooth globes and parted its flesh to reveal the smooth, seed-filled, papaya-like interior.

"Ang bango!" she smelled the fruit, "mukhang papaya."

"Kinakain yung buto ha, actually yun lang ang kinakain sa kanya," I explained.

"Weh?" She frowned at me, "Di nga? Sure ka?"

"This is how I like it served," I opened another fruit and dropped all of the seeds into the plastic full of Sprite and gave it a small shake. "O, tikman mo."

She took a sip,"Mmm... parang pamilyar," Her eyes are sparkling, "Ang sarap! Crunchy pala 'to?" Aya ang cute mo... Bakit ang cute, cute mo?

"It's passionfruit Goddess." I smiled at her. "Bagay sa'yo. It's the nectar of the Gods." She blushed at my compliment. Actually mas masarap ka kaysa diyan.

"Binobola mo na naman ako Mr. Constantino," she gave me a swift kiss on the cheek, "but I like it."

"Penge nga ako," Kuya Alfred held out his hand from the front passenger seat and I gave him one whole string of fruits, "Thanks."

Inginuso ni Aya ang kuya niya. I sighed. Okay, here goes nothing.

"Kuya gusto mo din ng Sprite?" I held out the soda to him. He looked dubious at first, before he accepted it from me. I saw Aya smile.

"Okay 'tong recipe mo, crunchy and sparkly," I saw Kuya Alfred smirk after he took a sip.

"Kuya papaturo sana ako sa'yo ng favourite recipes ni Aya," I asked gently, "kung okay lang?"

The look he gave me when our eyes met on the rearview mirror was long and wistful.

"Sure, basta para sa kaligayahan ni Diosa." He said in a voice full of tenderness.

 I could feel something heavy being lifted from my chest by those words.

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Hapon na ng makarating kami sa Sagada. Agad na bumaba kami ng sasakyan at nag-stretching dahil sa walong oras na dire-diretsong drive mula Baguio. Tulog na ang mga bata pero naalimpungatan ng inilabas namin sa sasakyan kay umiyak si Baby Aaron.

"Mauna na kami sa loob," Sabi ni Kuya Alphonse. May advance reservations kami sa Masferre at nauna na sila Kuya Alphonse at Ate Lena habang nagtuloy naman kami sa Tourist Center para mag-log sa tourist directory at magbayad ng fees.

"Anong tour gusto niyo?" Tanong ni Adam, "May one-day, two-days... hanggang four days ata may hike at caving."

"Yung one day Sumaguing Caves at Echo Valley na lang. Didiretso pa tayo sa Banawe sa isang araw di ba?"  Sabi ni Kuya Alfred. " 'Kaw Ali anong trip mo?"

"Kahit ano basta makapunta na sa hotel. Shet, gusto ko na ng wifi," nakabusangot na naman si Kuya Ali and I couldn't help it. Kumalas ako sa hawak ni Prince and gave him a hug.

"Hay Kuya, para ka namang mamamatay pag walang internet. Kaya nga tayo nagbakasyon para mag-relax di ba?" He smiled down at me.

"Diosa, na-re-relax ako pag may kaharap akong screen," he chucked my chin, "or if I'm making someone else's life miserable." He chuckled darkly. Loko talaga 'tong humor ni Kuya Ali.

"Hus, Kuya ayaw mo na ba mag-enjoy kasama ako?" I pouted at him, "di mo na love si baby girl?"

He hugged me tightly, "Naku Diosa, nagseselos na yung prinsipe mo. But I do miss my baby girl." He patted my head before he released me and I felt Prince's arms around my waist.

"Miss kita," he whispered to my ear.

Siniko ko siya, "grabe naman, agad-agad?"

"Miss talaga kita eh," I looked at him incredulously. Shocks, nagpapa-cute na naman 'tong boyfriend ko. Ohmygash, bakit ako kinikilig?

"Seloso," I chided him gently.

"Aminado." He murmured softly to my ear.

We signed up for the early tour tomorrow and went on our way to the hotel.

"Ali!" a certain high-pitched voice broke into the stillness of the afternoon air seconds before a colourfully-clad, tall, blond woman rushed up to my brother and enveloped him in a bear hug. "MY Alistair!"

"What the hell..." Adam's jaw dropped. Everyone was shocked as the girl kissed Alistair soundly on both cheeks before hugging him again. The look on his face is priceless.

"Dapat may camera tayo," Aidan smiled wickedly at Alistair's horrified face.

"Tanga, anong ginagawa ng I-phone mo?" Binatukan siya ni Alfredo na nakalabas na ang cellphone at kinikuhanan ng video si Kuya Ali at yung magandang foreigner.

"The fuck, me tinatago palang kamandag 'tong si Ali?" Aidan remarked as he brought out his phone and aimed it at the couple.

"Bahala kayo diyan, ayoko pang mamatay," bulong ni Kiko at napahagikhik si Sab.

"Kiko naman, takot ka?" she chucked his chin playfully.

"Mahal ko buhay ko no," he looked intently at her, "saka di ko pa nga napapasagot yung mahal ko."

"Get your hands off me," Kuya Ali deadpanned as soon as he got his bearings. He caught her wrists, then firmly, but gently pulled them off his neck. The girl pouted at him.

"Holy crap, ganyan pala ang mga trip ni Kuya Ali?" I murmured as I felt Prince snicker at my side. "Ang tangkad niya grabe!"

"Svetlana, why are you here?" hinawakan niya ang magkabila nitong braso nang akmang yayakap ulit ito sa kanya, "And for the nth time, I am NOT your Alistair."

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"So Kuya Ali san mo nga ulit nakilala yun?" Tanong ni Adam kay Ali nang nakaupo na kami sa Yoghurt House para kumain ng dinner.

"Former co-woker ko sa US," he replied with a frown, "we did a couple of projects together."

"Naging kayo?" Aidan asked with a grin, "mukhang hot yun eh."

"Nope. Sa'yo na kung gusto mo. Ayoko sa babaeng parang ostrich," he muttered with a sardonic smile. Seriously, hindi nagagandahan sa kanya si Ali?

"Sus, akala mo naman mukha siyang tao kung makapanlait," Aidan ducked as Ali chucked the pepper shaker at him. He sneezed uncontrollably. Hayan nagsimula na naman sila. Si Aidan walang kadala-dala. Sa lahat ng kapatid ni Aya, siya ang pinakamalakas mambuska. Si Ali naman ang numero-unong pikon.

"Pota, Kuya naman," he wiped his nose and eyes, "di na mabiro."

"Leche ka. Tigilan mo ko." Oops... wag asarin si Alistair. That is the rule.

Natigil ang asaran ng dumating ang pagkain.

"Anong gusto mong part baby?" I shared my Chicken Curry with Aya. Ang laki ng servings and masarap yung fresh yoghurt na ginagamit nila sa food.

"Yung wing na lang," she smiled up at me. I quickly sliced the chicken and filled up her plate.

"Kiko ang dami naman nitong clubhouse sandwich tulungan mo ako!" Sab uttered as she looked in horror at the huge plate. Kiko grinned happily.

"Ayos, free food," Kiko took a whole section off, "thanks baby."

"Kiko talaga, mukhang free food." Sab laughed as he wolfed down the food. "Pero okay na rin para may tagaubos ako."

"Basta galing sa'yo, kakainin ko," he smiled as he wiped his lips with a napkin.

"Sure ka diyan Kiko? Eh nung elem sumakit yung tiyan mo kasi kinain mo yung niluto kong palitaw."

"Kinain ko pa rin naman di ba?" he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Kahit yung hilaw na mango crepe saka yung sunog na pizza sa Home Ec inubos ko rin."  Sab laughed harder.

Natahimik ang buong lamesa at napatigil si Sab sa kakatawa. Her eyes were wide as she gazed at Kiko's serious face.

"Kiko parang ayoko na yata ng sinasabi mo," she said in a small voice. Patay kang Sabrina ka. Ayan na ang karma ng 'Summer Loving' mo. She tried to stand up but Kiko took her hand.

"Sab, anong problema? Totoo naman sinabi ko di ba?" he asked her gently. Sab blushed profusely.

"Kiko!" she tried to pull her hand away but he didn't release it. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Anlabo talaga." Kiko muttered in defeat before he released her hand and stood up from the table. "Labas lang ako, magpapahangin." He walked out of the restaurant and Sab sat back down heavily.

"Anong problema nun?" she muttered, poking at the food on her plate, "Ang labo daw, eh siya kaya ang malabo... Kung ano-anong sinasabi..."

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"Ohmygahd kawawa naman si Kiko," I whispered to Prince as we watched my best buddy drink himself to a stupor with my brothers.

"Ganyan talaga baby pag-inlove," he leaned his head on my shoulder as we sat side by side on the round table. He downed a shot of the tapuy that Adam purchased from one of the shops.

"Hindi kaya umiinom yang si Kiko," I turned to face Prince. His cheeks held a slight rosy hue from the drink, "ikaw din namumula ka na. Tama na yan."

"Asan ba si Sab?" he wiped his nose, "did you talk to her?" I shook my head.

"Matutulog na daw siya kasi sumakit yung ulo niya," I pouted, "in-denial si Sab."

"Ginulat kasi ni Kiko," he dropped a kiss on my ear, "Aya ang bango mo." Gahd, nakikiliti ako! Ano ba yan?! I could feel my cheeks heat up.

"Prince, ano ba? Wag dito," I murmured to him, "Andiyan lang yung mga kuya ko." He pouted at me.

"Gusto ko ng kiss," he licked his lips. I stared at him in horror. "Pwede pa-kiss?" I shook my head and pinched his side. Siraulo talaga 'to.

"Oww..." he grimaced and pouted even more. "Ang daya."

"Prince lasing ka na. Ayoko ng ganyan." I glared at him. He seemed to have sobered up at that and just pulled me against him tightly.

"Sorry," he murmured, "Lasing na nga ako." He admitted with a smile. Namumungay na yung mga mata niya.

"Tulog ka na kasi," I chided him, "bukas mag-spelunking pa tayo."

"Okay," he dropped a kiss on my forehead. "exciting pumasok sa kweba." I saw him grinning softly.

"Hoy kayong dalawa ha, kanina pa kayo nag-bubulungan," Kuya Alfred remarked loudly. I threw him a sheepish look. "Prince tagay pa," he offered another shot to Prince.

"Sorry Kuya may tama na ako," he declined with a yawn. "Pinapatulog na ako ng baby ko."

"Naks, talagang sumusunod ah," Kuya Aidan remarked, "ganyan dapat! Iba talaga ang powers ng baby girl namin."

"Kuya!" I pouted. I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "Di po ganon..." Waah! Hindi ko naman ina-under si Prince!

"Sus baby girl, kilala namin yang powers mo. Walang immune diyan. 'Ta mo nga pati si Ali, tiklop sa'yo."

Kuya Ali gave them his signature death glare,"Mahal ko si baby girl, bakit me reklamo kayo?"

"Wala nga. Grabe ang init talaga ng ulo nito. Palibhasa walang wifi...sheesh," Adam held his hands up.

"Kuya Ali tagay ka," Kiko gave him a shot. He looked at the small shotglass in horror.

"Goodluck, di umiinom yan," Kuya Adam stretched his arms, "bakit nga ba di ka umiinom Kuya?" Kuya Ali glared at him.

"I happen to like my senses intact," he said with a frown, "unlike other people."

"Asus, maniwala ka diyan," Kuya Alfredo grinned evilly. Everybody's interest was piqued, "na-trauma lang yan nung first time niya uminom."

"Weh kuya? Stir ka naman," Aidan gave him a dubious frown. Kuya Ali turned his gaze at Kuya Alfred who just smiled innocently. "Kwento mo na kuya."

"Si Ali kasi nung freshman na-basted nung nililigawan niyang Sophomore sa Diliman. Paano ba naman fourteen years old lang siya tapos yung girl, nineteen na," he laughed at Kuya Ali's murderous face.

"Putangina!" Kuya Ali stood up from where he was sitting but Aidan and Adam held him down. Hala pulang-pula si Kuya Alistair.

"Ang sama ng loob ni Ali ayun tuloy sila Alejandro at Albert niyaya siyang uminom. Kasalanan nung dalawang gago, isang bote pa lang si Ali tinopak na, nag-propose dun kay Kayla. "

"Holy crap Kuya Ali! Kay Kayla talaga?" Nahulog si Aidan sa bench sa kakatawa.

"Gago!"

"Sino si Kayla?" Prince asked me. I couldn't hold my laughter either.

"Si Kayla yung Labrador namin," Kuya Alfred ducked as Kuya Ali tried to catch him. "'Tangna Ali di ko naman kasalanan na vi-nideo ka nila Albert!" he started running off while Alistair jumped over the bench to try and catch him. Ayun nagrambulan na kasi sinubukan ng lahat pigilan yung beast-mode ni Kuya Ali.

"Prince tulog na tayo," I smiled sweetly at my boyfriend, "hayaan mo lang, ganyan lang lagi yang mga 'yan."

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There are alot of things in life that I find vexing, but there is nothing worse than sheer human stupidity. Bata pa lang ako, alam ko nang iba akong mag-isip sa ibang bata. Nung una, hindi ko maintindihan bakit ang bagal nila maka-gets ng konsepto at tuwing magpapaliwanag ako ay parang walang gustong makinig. There is just that frustration everytime another kid gets angry, annoyed or insulted whenever I try to be myself. Parati na lang akong sinasabihan ng weird, mayabang, or worse ...sira-ulo.

I've always tried when I was younger. Sino ba naman ang ayaw ng closeness? Pero as time went by, I found my circle of friends getting smaller and smaller lalo na at napakalimit na ako'y ma-accelerate sa klase. I was fourteen when I entered college and I thought na magiging mas madali ang lahat pero andun pa rin naman yung frustration... yung tipong iba ang tingin sa'yo ng mga taong nakapaligid.

Hindi ko ugaling i-downplay ang sarili ko. I find it annoying when people do that 'pa-humble' thing. Kung kaya ko naman talagang gawin at totoo ang sinasabi ko, bakit ako mahihiya? At bakit din naman sila ma-o-offend? One of the reasons why I hate explaining myself is that results are what's important and I'd rather show people that it's possible than waste my time explaining how.

Bwisit, bakit ba kasi walang internet in this technology-forsaken place? Drat, alam ko ang sagot but I'd rather complain in my brain. Wala namang nakakarinig ng thoughts ko. I tried to do deep breathing techniques to calm myself. Mahirap makulong parati sa sariling mundo but I have no choice. Loneliness is my comfort zone.

I found myself walking the downhill path from our hotel in search of some solitude. Mamaya pang 8AM ang tour namin at pare-parehong may hang-over ang mga kapatid ko kaya tulog pa silang lahat. I stopped and sat down on the side of the road overlooking the rice terraces. Peaceful. Masarap sa mata ang luntiang mga dahon na may mga bukong nagsisimula nang umusbong.

"Good morning," lumingon ako sa nagdaang babae na nakangiti. Karamihan ng mga tao na nakakasalubong ko ay pawang ngumingiti o bumabati. My eyes were drawn to the book she carried on her hand. Sonnets from the Portuguese. I was about to say good morning back pero nagtuloy na siya sa paglakad and I went back to my early musings.

Nang medyo uminit na ay nagpasya akong ituloy ang paglakad. Wala naman kasing signal dito at di ko ma-che-check yung prey ko. Walang kwenta yung cellphone ko, pang-picture lang. Tumigil ako sa Gaia, yung cafe na pinakamalapit na sa bukana ng Lumiang Caves. Dito ko na lang sila hihintayin dahil nagugutom na ako at tinatamad na akong bumalik sa Inn para mag-breakfast. I went up the beautiful rustic stairs. I loved how the structure embraced the local design while providing a relaxed, open athmosphere. The cafe had a lot of patrons kahit maaga and I almost went back down when I saw the girl earlier this morning beckon me to an empty seat beside her table.

"Hi we can share the table," she smiled at me.

"Thanks," I mumbled softly. I always felt uncomfortable talking to strangers. She must have sensed my discomfort and went back to reading her book and drinking her tea. I ordered some of the local tea myself and a plateful of kamote chips. The girl stood up and excused herself to order more tea from the pantry.

Okay na sana ang umaga ko pero sadyang merong mga bwisit sa buhay.

"Alistair!" WTF.

Wala na ang aking tahimik na umaga. Shit. Go to hell, Lana.

"Alistair, I went to your hotel but they said you left early," she pouted and made goo-goo eyes at me. Gusto kong manapak.

"Hello, Lana," I greeted her stiffly. I hate it when women come on too strongly. I feel suffocated. Kaya nga si Aya lang ang kaya kong i-tolerate because my sister is the very epitome of sweet innocence.

She made herself comfortable with the seat across me and started nibbling on my plate of camote chips. "Honey," Gahd, I hate that voice! "why did you not go back? Everybody was shocked when you left." Gahd, hindi ko trip ang Angelina Jolie lips. Kay Angelina lang kasi bagay yon.

"I got bored," I answered dryly, "don't you have anything better to do?"

"They want you back Alistair," she smiled sweetly at me. Too saccharine-sweet. "I mean, I want you back."

"Too bad. I'm not coming back."

Her eyes widened dramatically, "Why not? What about us?!" Napapatingin na ang ibang patrons ng cafe and I wanted to smack her face. Naasar ako. Fuck. Ang aga-aga pa!

"Svetlana, I'm sorry but there is no 'us '" her face fell before she got a determined look.

"I don't believe you. You are just trying to rile me. It's not gonna work this time Alistair," she ran her fingers on my arm, up to my shoulder. "All that time together, surely you don't think I'll give it up just because you say so."

"Too bad. I'm already with someone," I bluffed as I tried to stall her off. I saw the girl return from the pantry with a fresh cup of mountain tea. She sat back beside me and resumed her reading where she left off.

"Alistair, stop being such a prick." That ticked me off. I hate that word. I grasped at the closest thing that I can hold on to at the moment.

"Svetlana, you are gonna upset my darling," I grinned before taking the girl's hand from beneath the low table. I saw her turn towards me with a questioning look, her eyes widening in alarm when she realized the inevitable meaning behind the gesture... mere seconds before our lips met in a move that sealed my fate.

The book Sonnets from the Portuguese fell open on the table.

It takes a nanosecond for fate to be blurred and rationality to give way to one's destiny.  

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-End Chapter 17-

Guys honestly, feeling niyo ba dapat hatiin ko ang chapter na 'to? Ang haba kasi. XD Chapter dedicated to Ria_Lee and PrivateHeroine who wanted more Alistair goodness.