Ethan's POV

"You know Ethan..." she says to me at the table while we're eating breakfast.

I'm casually scrolling through dank may mays..

"What's up?"

"I sometimes forget you have a pool?"

It is hot today.

"Let me guess you're hot and wanna go in the pool?"

"Mayyyybbeee!!!" She says her smile getting wider.

I leave the room really quickly and go to a closer to turn on the water heater for the pool.

"We must wait an entire hour until we get into the pool." I say.

"Well what do you want to do to pass the time?" She asks.

I raise an eyebrow at her and I can tell she gets the hint.

~~~~funny sexual innuendos~~~~

I grab her hand...

"Lets make like a fabric softener...and snuggle!"

I grab her by the waist and carry her to the room.

She's giggling the entire time, her laugh is so beautiful.

I throw her onto my bed and lay down next to her.

I try to give her a quick kiss, but she's still laughing wildly.

"Ethan! No!"

"Whhyyyy IM STERILE!"

She starts laughing even harder...

I'm starting to think I'm too funny for my own life.

I can't even kiss my own girlfriend.

"Y/n come onnnn yuure wasting our hour with your laughter!"

She takes three deep breaths while looking towards the lamp on her nightstand.

She finally looks at me again and....

Breaks into even harder laughter.

I sit by her side and turn on the tv.

I use the remote to scroll to YouTube and turn it to about 40 in volume.

"WHAT IS UP MY CRANKY CREW!"

Her eyes go wide and she's goes silent to watch MY VIDEOS.

"REALLY Y/N! THATS ME! I AM THE PERSON! YOU COULD BE SNUGGLING WITH ME IN REAL LIFE!"

"Alright alright Ethan...My little blue boi"

"I'm not blue anymore..."

"You'll always be blue to me"

She puts her hand to my face and slightly rubs it.

I smile at the touch but I can't help myself...

"I know I'm not a grocery item,but I can tell when you're checking me out..."

She bites her lip to try to stifle her laughter and then...

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

~~~~~~~~~~

My life

M-my life

My life sucks

My life

M-my life

My life sucks f***

OOHHH GoOoOoD

MAMA WONT BUY ME DAVID DOBRIK MERCH NO SHE WONT STICK HER STICKY FINGERS IN HER PURSE AND IF SHE DONT GIMME MONEY IMA STEAL FROM CHURCH CUZ I CANT LET TIFFANY GET THE MERCH FIRST MY BIRTHDAYS APRIL FIRST BUT I NEVER CELEBRATE CUZ LAST TIME I CHOKED ON A PIECE OF CAKE WHEN I TURNED EIGHT MY MAMA TOLD ME I WAS A MISTAKE BUT IT DIDNT BOTHER ME THO I TOOK IT OKAY

ZOLOC

PROZAC

MEXYPROL

ALL ANTIDEPRESSANTS THAT IVE TRIED BEFORE 

I DO MY BEST TO HIDE IT BUT MY FRIENDS ALL KNOW

I LIVE A terrible LIFE AND PRETEND THAT IT rocks

~remix by me

Original Scotty sire~ my life sucks

I found a compilation of just Ethan moaning and YALL ALREADY KNWO IMA USE IT IN A FUTURE CHAPTER WHEN I FINALLY LEARN HOW TO WRITE ANYTHING THATS CLOSE TO SMUT

LIKE ALL MY OLD FANFICS HAD LITTLE OG 13 CRAP BUT THIS BOOK IS S BUNCH OF FRICKING FLUFF

ALSO IM JIST LOSTENIGN TO THE VIDEO AND ASDFGHJLL MMMMMMMM

I hope none of you are named Suzanne cuz then :| STEY OFF ME MAEN 

Like I was just searching for images to go with this chapter

FIRST RHJNG THAT CAME UP

NO REGERTS

YOY MOTHER HECKER WATTPAD

LET ME POST MY CHAPTER

MY READERS ARE THIRSTY FOR ACTUAL UPDATES

so it's been a week lemme try again