i'm so messed up. my mind never shuts the fuck up. i have nothing left. i'm so sick of making things worse, i'm fucking sick and tired of being hurt, i'm sick and tired of crying myself to sleep, i'm sick of hating every fucking thing, i'm sick of faking a fucking smile, i'm sick of feeling this fucking way, i'm sick of letting everybody down, i'm sick of being me. having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. it's wanting friends but hating to socialize. it's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. it's caring about everything then caring about nothing. it's feeling everything at once, then feeling paralyzingly numb. everyday is a fucking struggle, even when i'm at my best. my anxiety is always with me and my panic taps me on my shoulder a few times a day. on my good days i can brush it off. on my bad days i just wanna stay in bed.