“Are you kidding? That’s horrible!”

I stared flatly at my former English teacher, not really knowing what I was supposed to say anymore. I couldn’t help but agree with him that this really was horrible.

“Yeah, well, there really isn’t anything I can do about it,” I informed him with a shrug, trying to seem like I didn’t care one bit. But how could I not?

“He won’t believe you at all?” Mr. Ridgeway asked, his eyes still wide. “Or anyone else?”

“Kendra’s got him completely brainwashed, and I’m sick of it.”

“There isn’t anything you can do to convince him at all?” Ms. Vierra now asked, a frown evident on her face. I couldn’t remember a time Ms. Vierra had ever frowned before. “There has to be something that you could do to get him to remember.”

I shrugged, not knowing what I was supposed to do. It felt like I had tried everything that I could have possibly done to try and get River’s memory back. It seemed like he was almost choosing not to remember.

“You should see him,” I told them, my voice cracking just a little as I cupped my elbow. “He looks nothing like he used to. Kendra changed him to get him to look like how he did when he was little. He thinks I’m a crazy bitch and that I’m trying to break them up.”

“Which you kind of are,” Mr. Ridgeway pointed out with a grin, and I couldn’t help but glare at him.

“I have an idea!” Ms. Vierra suddenly cried out while I continued to have a stare-off with Mr. Ridgeway. Though neither of us even looked at her, she knew that we were listening and continued. “You need to sing All I Ask of You! He’ll have to remember you after that!”

I had thought that River would remember after he had seen Seth and me together, but that didn’t work. I had thought that River would remember after he had spoken to Bekka, but that didn’t work either. Thinking also of Alice’s words, I didn’t think it was even possible for River to get his memory back.

“How are we both going to sing it?” I asked, fighting the urge to stare at her flatly. “I highly doubt River even remember that he liked The Phantom of the Opera, let alone the words to the song. Even back when we were friends, he denied that he liked it at first. If he does remember liking it, he’d never tell the girl he hates the most that he does. Especially if he has to sing a song from it with her.”

“There’s always a chance,” Ms. Vierra sang, clasping her fingers together under her chin. “And I’m sure Mrs. Davis would let you two sing it if I asked her! Come on, Delilah, you know you want to!”

I hadn’t sung that song in so long, and I knew it would be weird to sing it to someone who didn’t look like River, even though it really was him. He didn’t even seem like River anymore, but unfortunately I knew that it was him. Everything just seemed so unfair.

“Well, I’ll give it a try,” I sighed with a shrug, crossing my arms over my chest. “I highly doubt River will remember anything about it though.”

“The point is for him to remember while you sing it,” Ms. Vierra winked, and bother Mr. Ridgeway and I rolled our eyes. “Come on, this is a fool proof plan! This is how you two got into Arkwright, and even how you two professed your love to each other!”

I felt my face burn, and I had to look down at my shoes. I was immediately regretting telling her that story. I knew I should have just kept it a secret from everybody… River probably never told anyone about it.

“I just hope it works,” I whispered, not intending for either of them to hear me. This seemed to be my last hope for River ever remembering who I was, and I could only hope that it would work. I just wanted my River back before it was too late.

Ms. Vierra smiled sweetly at me, and I knew that she had heard me. When she patted my shoulder lightly, I almost jumped in surprise. “It’ll work,” she assured, as if she knew everything. “I’m sure it’ll work.”

I guess all I could really do was hope.

*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~*

I really felt like banging my head against my locker. Maybe if I hit it enough times, I’d lose my memory just like River and our memories would meet up somewhere.

My dearest Delilah,

I hope things are going well for you. I see that River hasn’t gotten his memory back yet, but I guess that that’s a good thing. I still have you all to myself, which is exactly what I want. But then again… you and Seth seemed to be getting pretty cozy. I don’t like that very much.

                                                                                                                  It’s What You Do to Me, Delilah

I used to be scared of notes like this, but for some reason I wasn’t scared as I scowled down at the note in my hand. I was really starting to get fed up with the fact that this was happening to me all over again, and I didn’t have River there with me to help me.

But I had Seth, which was just as good, I guessed. It was still awkward around him every time he came around me now because all I could think about was Alice had said. I still didn’t think Seth could have been in love with me… It was just too ridiculous to believe.

“A new note?” a voice asked, causing me to jump and drop the note inside of my locker. I hated how jumpy I was. Even though I never saw Mr. Higginson or hallucinated anymore, I was still always scared that he was lurking around in the shadows. “How many have you gotten?”

“A few,” I answered Seth, not even looking at him as I placed one of my text books over the note. “They aren’t that big of a deal though.”

Seth rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t believe me. I was sure that he didn’t, but I wasn’t going to say anything. I could barely look at him without almost freaking out. I wanted him to tell me that what Alice had said wasn’t true, but that would mean having to tell him what she said.

And that wasn’t about to happen.

“Let me read it.”

“No,” I denied, still not looking in his direction as I continued to shuffle through my locker. “It isn’t important. Just a bunch of mumbo jumbo that doesn’t even matter.”

“Delilah, let me see it.”

There was a time that I had had this same discussion with River when we were at Bentwood, and remembering it hurt my heart. It had happened the same night we had first sang together, and that only reminded me that I was going to have to sing with River once again… but this time it just wouldn’t be the same.

“It’s fine, Seth,” I assured, putting on a fake smile and finally turning toward him as I shut my locker The look of concern on Seth’s face almost broke my heart. “I’m alright. They haven’t done anything but send me notes, not like Mr. Higginson had done. I’m perfectly fine.”

“You say that now,” Seth began, crossing his arms over his chest, “but you don’t know what they’re planning. If this is just some prank, it’s been going on for a hell of a long time.”

“Aw, Seth,” I tried to joke, a forced smile still plastered onto my face. “It’s like you’re really worried about me or something.”

“I am worried about you,” Seth blurted, and I could tell he bit the inside of his cheek after he had realized what he had said. I was caught off guard, since I thought he was going to deny it. I definitely didn’t expect this. “I mean, I… uh… care about you. No, wait. I mean--”

Without even knowing what I was doing, I reached up and placed one of my hands on his cheek and just stared at him for a few moments. This boy had to be one of the most attractive guys I had ever met, and he was supposedly in love with me? And it was the same with River as well. How did I get such good looking guys to fall in love with me? It sure didn’t seem like I was pretty enough for them.

“Thank you, Seth,” I breathed, not even knowing what I was saying. “Thank you for… being here for me throughout the whole River thing.”

Seth shrugged. “What are fake boyfriends for?”

The way he was saying this made me feel guilty, because I could tell that he didn’t want to say the fake part in that sentence. But he knew it was true, and so did I. Seth was only my fake boyfriend, and that was all he would ever really be.

As if going against the words I had just thought, I stretched up on my toes without even realizing I was doing so. I leaned forward and brush my lips against Seth’s for a quick moment, surprising him and myself. Why did I just do that? Why did I kiss Seth even though neither Kendra nor River were around?

Seth blinked at me. “River’s not here.”

“I know.”

There was a time that Seth and I had said something like this to each other before, but it was the other way around. It was when we had pretended to go out, and Seth kissed me in the pool for no reason whatsoever. Now that the roles were reversed, I couldn’t help but find it a little weird.

I thought back to Alice’s question as I stared into Seth’s blue eyes. Had I ever had feelings for Seth? I honestly didn’t know the answer to that. I knew that Seth had liked me, but I never thought he was in love with me or anything. It never seemed like he was… He always loved Marnie, right?

Seth’s hand suddenly brushed to the side of my face, cupping my cheek as he smiled down at me slightly. Was I giving him the wrong idea now? I didn’t want to lead him on, but… I didn’t even think I was aware of my own feelings anymore.

I wanted River back. That was definite. I wanted River’s memory to come back and for us to get married, but I couldn’t deny the way I was feeling as Seth continued to touch me, even though it was completely innocent. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone but River.

But this wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. Seth and I could only ever be friends. We couldn’t even be friends with benefits.

But this new feeling I had for him was strange. It was almost like a wanting. I wanted Seth. Not in the same way that I wanted River, but in some kind of form I wanted Seth.

And I felt horrible about it.

Maybe I just wanted to love and be loved. That had to be it, right? I could love River all I wanted, but he wasn’t going to love me back until his memory came back. Was love all I wanted? Was I using Seth without even meaning to do so?

I hated to think like that. I didn’t want to use him like this, if that was what I was really doing. He was my best friend, and I knew that I’d be hurting him if he really did have feelings for me.

He finally leaned down, pressing his lips to mine a little harder than I had done to his. Since we were supposedly going out, I knew no one would really care if they saw us kissing in the hall. And if River had passed by, then it would be perfect for him to see. So I kissed Seth back, even though I felt guilty for doing so.

“You two are such a cute couple,” a new voice now said, causing me to cringe ever so slightly as I pulled away from Seth. I looked over to my right to see Kendra smiling at us, clutching onto River’s hand as she did so. Oh, how I wanted to pull her hair out… “I could always tell you two wanted to go out.”

I glanced over to River to see he was frowning at Seth. Did he somehow remember? Did he know it was fake and have some kind of déjà vu that reminded him that this had happened before? Why wouldn’t he speak? Why didn’t he just tell me how he felt?

Because he thinks you’re a psycho, I couldn’t help but remind myself bitterly.

“Well, yeah,” I went on along, just to see her reaction. She looked pretty surprised as I continued on. “Seth and I have liked each other forever.”

He looked uncomfortable, but I decided to ignore Seth as I continued to glare at Kendra, who was trying to smile even though she was obviously surprised. Was she really falling for this? I didn’t think she was that stupid. But then again…

River sure seemed to believe what I had said. His nose wrinkled, and before I even knew it he was tugging Kendra away from Seth and me. I rolled my eyes, tightening my grip on my backpack ever so slightly. I really hoped that bitch jumped off a cliff.

“We have to get to Mrs. Davis’s class,” Seth informed me, though he didn’t even glance in my direction as he said it. “She won’t be happy if we’re late.”

When he held out his hand for me to take, I stared at it for a few moments in surprise. He seemed so unsure, and even I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. He wanted me to hold his hand? I held River’s hand all the time. It was just on instinct and I always just grabbed it. He never offered it to me, because he knew I was going to grab it anyway. But Seth was actually offering…

Smiling just a little, I laced my fingers between Seth’s, enjoying the warmth he was giving my cold hands. How had I never noticed how sweet he was before? Sure, he was a jerk when we first met, but so was River… The only one who was friendly had been Rex.

When we got to Mrs. Davis’s class, we sat the farthest away that we could from River. I knew that Ms. Vierra had spoken to Mrs. Davis, and I was kind of afraid of what she was going to make us do. I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to do this anymore.

Seth didn’t let go of my hand as we made our way toward our seats. He kissed me quickly, catching me off guard, before we both took our seats. I glanced at River out of the corner of my eye to see him glaring at our interlaced fingers.

Oh, my gosh… This was working!

“Good afternoon, class!” Mrs. Davis called excitedly from the front of the class, but I wasn’t exactly the most excited person in the world. “We’re actually going to be doing something different today. We’re going to be looking over some old projects that you’ve done already.”

I knew where she was getting with this. River and I had worked on All I Ask of You, even though he didn’t remember it. Was Ms. Vierra’s plan actually going to work? Would River remember me if we sang the song that we professed our love to each other with?

“First up,” Mrs. Davis began with a smile, looking down at her clipboard, “is River and Delilah singing All I Ask of You.”

The room erupted into excited chatter and giggles. People were either excited to hear us because we sounded so good, or they knew about River and my breakup so they thought it would be funny that we’d have to sing a love song to each other.

I knew that she was going to call us before she even did. She was only doing this because of River and me, and I was kind of glad that she was going through with it.

River’s face scrunched up into a scowl, but all I could do was roll my eyes at him as I stood up from my seat and removed my hand from Seth’s grasp. Making my way over to the piano, I found myself frowning when River hadn’t gotten up from his seat.

“River?” Mrs. Davis asked, obviously confused.

“Do I have to?” he asked, obviously not happy that he had to sing with me.

Mrs. Davis put the sweetest smile she could muster on her face. “Only if you want to fail my class.”

Muttering something to himself under his breath, River pushed himself up from his seat and over toward me. I wasn’t so thrilled about this either. I hadn’t sung this song in forever, and now I was going to have to sing it to someone who obviously couldn’t stand me.

“I don’t know the lyrics,” River informed the teacher, and I wanted to go hit my head against something hard. He did know the lyrics. He just didn’t remember them. This was our song! This was our song and he didn’t even remember it one bit.

“Here, River,” Mrs. Davis sighed, handing him another copy of the sheet music. “You think you’ve got it?”

He didn’t look happy, but he nodded anyway. “Yeah.”

When Mrs. Davis began to play without warning, I couldn’t help but make a face. Ms. Vierra had done the same exact thing the first time she’d ever made me sing.

“No more talk of darkness,” River began, and it almost brought tears to my eyes. His voice hadn’t changed at all. It was still the same as it had been the last time we had sung this song. “Forget these wide eyed fears. I’m here. Nothing can harm you. My words will warm and calm you…”

As he continued on, I almost got lost in his voice. I had missed him so much. How did I even consider liking Seth when I had someone like him? Even though I didn’t really have him now…

“Say you love me every waking moment,” I sang now, trying my best to not make it obvious I was on the brink of tears. “Turn my head with talk of summertime. Say you need me with you now and always… Promise me that all you say is true… That’s all I ask of you…”

I now noticed that River was staring at me with wide eyes. Did he remember? Did he somehow remember all of a sudden that I was the one he was supposed to be with and not Kendra?

As we finished up the song, River wouldn’t stop staring at me. This was a good sign I was sure, but it still scared me a little. What if he didn’t remember? Or what if he did remember but then choose to be with Kendra instead because he had now fallen in love with her?

“You have a great voice for a crazy chick,” was all River said before turning around and walking back to his seat after returning the sheet music to Mrs. Davis.

With my eyes wide and mouth agape, I didn’t know what I was supposed to say as I watched his retreating back. Should I insult his voice? There was no way I could do that since whatever I would have come up with wouldn’t have been true.

I turned around, practically fuming, and stomped my way back over toward Seth. By this time, Rex had already moved to sit behind him, and he looked awfully amused. Seth, however, looked the exact opposite.

“So, did he remember?” Rex asked, a wide grin plastered on his face.

“Obviously not,” I snapped, really not wanting to think about it. “He said that I had a great voice for a crazy chick. He doesn’t remember at all.”

“Maybe his memory’s gone for good, Delilah,” Seth informed me with a frown, and even though he shouldn’t have been, Rex was grinning. Why would he be grinning at a time like this?

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you, Seth?” he asked suggestively, nudging his best friend in the side. “You’d have Delilah all to yourself.”

“Shut up,” Seth hissed, but all I did was sit and try to ignore them. I didn’t want to think about River, Kendra, Seth, or even the feelings that I was starting to develop for him. And I definitely didn’t want to think about Jay’s party which was the night, since Alice was forcing me to go so she and the boys could.

I didn’t want to go to some stupid Hollywood style party. I didn’t want to see River and Kendra dancing, I didn’t want to spend the night avoiding Jay, and I just didn’t want to go. I wanted to snuggle up into my covers and never come out. But I knew I couldn’t do that.

I was going to have to go and deal with seeing the love of my life dancing with another girl.

Even though I had Seth with me, I kind of wished that I didn’t. Because this new growing attraction I was having wasn’t a good thing. Because, if it did somehow grow any deeper, it would be bad when River finally got his memory back.

If he got his memory back.

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I was like half out of it while writing this chapter, so if some of it doesn't make sense then that's why. And I kept wanting to write in third person because I'm reading a book in third person and I'm really used to it now. ._.

:D

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