Person: I hate books.

Me: ... said no one ever unless they would like to die a horrible, grisly death by first being stabbed with butterknives, then by being torn into pieces by Mutts, then being chopped into smaller pieces by a scythe, then by being on the receiving end of some well-placed 'CRUCIO!'s then to finish it up, by being thrown into Tartarus after being boiled in oil for a millennium.

Person:

Me:

Person:

Me:

Person: ... wait, what?

Me: You have three seconds to run.