November 3, 1978, Pembroke Pines Florida

 Somehow, as if by a miracle, Roger managed to not kill Brian and they got through the setlist intact. The next stop on the tour was Lakeland, set for tomorrow and traveling most of the night. Roger was on one side of the bus, Brian on the other; each of them staring at each other and the tension obviously still there. Brian had his head back against the window, Roger leaned over on a pillow in the darkness of the bus. Freddie and John had long been asleep. It seemed that Roger and Brian were being hypnotized by the combination of the rain against the bus windows and the road noise. They continued to star at one another until Brian finally broke the silence.  “I do know her name.” he said.

 “Huh?” was Roger’s reply as he adjusted his pillow.

 “Peaches. Earlier you accused me of sleepin’ with a whore whose name I didn’t even know. She has a name and she’s not a whore. She’s a wonderful, wonderful, vibrant…” Roger stopped him.

 “Stripper. She’s a stripper, Brian. She’s in for a buck and a ride on the fame train.” Roger told him seriously. They were silent again for a moment.

 “She’s not a stripper. She lives in Baton Rouge and she…” Roger stopped him again.

 “She what? What does she do in Baton Rouge?” Roger wanted to know.

 “She…dances…at a…club.” Brian said meekly. Roger shook his head in the darkness. “I don’t get where you’re going with this. I wasn’t the only one who fucked someone else.” He accused Roger.

 “That’s where you’re wrong. I won’t lie. A stripper went down on me. That’s it. There was no other funny business and she left in the middle of the night.  Brian, the difference in you an’ me is what you did is much more serious because you are emotionally involved. What I did was entirely physical and believe me what happened that night in New Orleans? I’d fuckin’ erase it if I could but I can’t. I have to live with it and I have to change my indulgence this time for real. You get so emotionally invested and I don’t give a damn about your relationships or what you do and don’t do. I’ve never given a damn about your choices but what you did in New Orleans trumps what I did. You had an emotional affair. You are so damn needy and pathetic Brian.” Roger lectured him. The raindrops almost mimicked Brian’s forming tears.

 “I needed her. I desperately needed her in my arms.” Brian nearly whined.

 “That’s my point. Listen to you. No one needs a stripper in their arms. You latch on to anything that shows you a little bit of attention. You only get one rock in your life, everything else is sand that washes away. You haven’t even taken the time to call your wife and confront her about what happened because you’ve been so wrapped up in a stripper you fell in love with four years ago. Shit! Lydia knows I messed up but I want her to be able to get ahold of me anytime, any fuckin’ where at any hour of the damn day. She always knows how to get a hold of me. We have the relationship we do because are both willing to work our arses off and she has never….ever given up on me. Your wife can’t handle that. You married the right woman and you know that as well as I do. That’s all I’ll say about it because god knows I’m no one to give advice.” Roger finished, adjusting his pillow and rolling over.

Brian stared at him in silence. So much of what Roger had just lectured him on was true. Yes, he had gotten emotionally involved, yes he was needy…tremendously needy. Brian’s fatal flaw was falling in love too quickly. As he sat there in the darkness digesting the conversation he realized something. Roger had managed to survive every mistake he had made in his own marriage; which meant there was hope for him. Roger’s past transgressions ran far deeper than his own and that forced Brian to think hard. Afterall, Chrissie was like him: emotionally involved, needy, and she fell in love too quickly.

 “Roger.” Brian’s soft voice called to him. “When’s Lydia due?” Roger didn’t respond at first, finally rolling over to face him.

 “She doesn’t know. She hasn’t been to the doctor. She has her first appointment today. ” Roger answered before rolling over again. Brian stared at him again in the darkness. He knew he needed to get settled in and get some sleep. Lakeland would be on them in the wee hours of the dawn, which would mean another setup, sound check and show soon enough. He sighed and leaned back on the couch. He needed to get because he hadn’t yet confronted Chrissie with what happened.

 “Hey.” Roger rolled over again to face Brian.  “What’s ‘er name? Peaches. What’s her name?” Brian tried to search for Roger’s eyes in the dark.

 “It’s…its Deborah. Deborah Vidacovich.” Brian’s tone almost insinuated that he felt sorry for himself. He probably did.

 November 3, 1978, Women’s Progressive Obstetrics and Gynecology – Surrey, England

 Recently, I had switched OBGYN’s. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but because my previous OBGYN had moved his office to the east side of London which was much too far a commute for me. My new doctor’s office was a half hour from the house. I sat there in my mostly open gown and the enormous sheet over my lap waiting for the doctor and his nurse to come see me. I tapped my fingers and looked around at all the miserable diagrams and medical terms and felt a little nauseous. The door startled me as it opened.

 “Hello! Lydia!” my sing-songed to me as he came inside with the equally bubbly nurse. “I understand you come to the office today with some very happy news!” Uh, he was far too excited; but he was a nice guy.

 “Call it what you will.” I smiled back at him. Hell, I just wanted to get my appointment in and go to lunch.

 “I have a few questions here and then I’m going to take a look at you.” he said. “When was your last period?” he asked flipping a page on his clipboard.

 “Uhhhhh….it was…I think early September?” I answered him.

 “Very well. Between September 1st and September 30th on what days did you have sex?” he asked me. My eyes widened. Oh god…

 I know precisely when I got pregnant: September 20...probably around 10: 00PM after partying all day. Or maybe it was closer to 1:27AM on the 21st...when the party was still going? Oh god, no! It had to have been at 4:14AM when things were getting really good, sloppy and nasty….you know, I actually had no idea precisely when I got pregnant but it was September 20 or 21st!  Roger and I had been at my family farm for my mother's 49th birthday. It had been a lavish bash that my father had thrown together and we partied hard from about 1:00 in the afternoon onward. It had been a stifling, balmy September day and an even more humid, sweaty night.

 One minute Roger and I were doin' cherry Jell-O shots with the neighbors' 23-year-old son and the next thing I know, Roger had me bent over the Island bar in the house leavin' his hand print on my arse and knockin' my head into an iron skillet by accident! By 4AM, I don't even know how Roger got it up we had had so much to drink! At least, I think we had a lot to drink. I don't know, maybe we took a break when we ended up in the pool to cool down?

 The point of my charming pregnancy story was this: the time Roger and I were actively trying to get pregnant; we made every effort in the world to be one of those sweet, loving couples who make tender love filled with tears and feelings...shit, I have to laugh...that didn't happen at all and I would surely throw up if it would have.

 I got pregnant by leaving raw, nearly bloodied streaks down Roger's back and assaulting his ears with absolute filth. I don't know what was wetter, the air around us or my sore thighs. Oh, I was definitely on top when this child was conceived...I think...or maybe he was? Ya know, I don't remember. There was so much hot, raw sex and even more alcohol and great food. Any party where you are left naked, screamin' in your thighs and hearin' your man beg you to fuck him harder is probably shaping up into a good party….I thought for a moment. I’d tell the doctor something else…

 “Oh, something like September 20th or 21st?” I said innocently, hoping he would think I was one of those nice wives who read magazines about how to make the perfect pot roast and decorate your living room with the latest home fashions of 1978.

 “Okay, any other days?” the doctor asked. Oh, Dr. Myers was in for a real treat.

 “Probably…September…3rd 7th 10th 11th  16th…I mean…it wasn’t…I didn’t…there were some blowjob on those days I’m sure. But, I’m thinkin’ that we…” he stopped me and I was completely guessing. So much for my perfect pot roast image.

 “Alright, I…I….get it. Tell me some things about your husband. Height? Weight? Does he smoke? Does he drink?”

 “He’s around 5’9”, 10 stone thereabouts, yes and like a fish.” I answered. The doctor continued writing on his clipboard.

 “Does he have any medical issues?” he asked. I thought for a moment.

 “I don’t suppose, no. He’s near sighted and he wears glasses.” I answered.

 “Does he have high blood pressure?” the doctor asked. I looked at Dr. Myers as if he were nuts.

 “High blood pressure!? Probably! Look what he does for a living!” I told him. Dr. Myers laughed at me as we continued to talk about some of Roger’s medical history. We very soon switched to my medical history and me. He laid me down, listened to my abdomen with his stethoscope and looked up at me with a big smile.

 “Oh, there is definitely activity in there. How have you felt?” he asked.

 “Like a stork beat me over my head with my handbag, flipped me off and flew away laughing.” I said. Dr. Myers never quite knew how to take me; so he said the appropriate, professional thing that doctors say.

 “Well, you’re definitely going to start experiencing more immediate and intense symptoms of early pregnancy. Based on your previous ventures with getting pregnant this may not be a problem-free pregnancy. You were on the pill for a very long time before you stopped it and the benefits you gained from it probably account for the fact that you were actually able to get pregnant. You’re not out of the woods and it’s early. Lay down there, let me collect some swabs.” The doctor said.

 “Oh good!” I thought to myself sarcastically. Swabs. I just loved getting the inside of my vagina brushed with something that wasn’t a penis. I watched as the doctor did what he needed to and passed along some samples to the nurse. He then pulled me up from the exam pad.

 “Listening to you, feeling your abdomen and taking some swabs here it appears that you aren’t far along in the pregnancy. I’m going to estimate that you’re about five weeks. I’ll know for sure after looking at the swab results but right now I will approximate your due date to be June 22.” I shook my head.

 “June 22?” I repeated.

 “Yes. Now, some important things. When was the last you had a cigarette?” he asked.

 “About five minutes before coming in here.” I answered.

 “That was your last one.” The doctor said. Dr. Myer’s words were like a knife cutting my heart into shreds. 

 “What!? Dr. Myers! No! Nooo, had I known it was my last cigarette I would I savored it and made sweet love to it instead of inhaling the damn thing like a crazy person!” I begged him. I hadn’t expected this. Not in the least bit. My last cigarette!? No. This couldn’t be! There was just no way I could simply….stop smoking! I was starting to panic because Dr. Myers was lining things up before me.

 “It’s okay. I have some nicotine gum and you can have as much as you like. I’ll start you out with thirty packs and call the office when you get low and we will mail you more. This is a pre-natal vitamin. I want you to start taking this immediately. Calcium supplement, here. Take one a day for your bones and I’m also going to put you on some vitamin D. And lastly, you need to drink plenty of water…not alcohol.” He finished. I felt like my entire world had just been run through a paper shredder.  “Lydia, if you have any questions at all or if you start to experience anything out of the ordinary, call the office emergency line immediately. Dr. Myers took my hands despite the look of horror still slapped across my face. He gave me another big smile. “Congratulations.”

 Shit. I needed some reinforcements and I needed them now.