Harriett and I had become quite inseparable, as we had gotten to know each other throughout the month of January. She had been with me to my doctor’s appointments and had begun to teach me some of these of odd breathing techniques that she swore up and down that I would need when I began my labor. Every day, Harriett had helped me take care of the house and she had cooked for me. She cooked anything I wanted and she would sit down and eat with me. She even kept this bizarre binder that she wrote a hundred notes in about what I ate, when and what I craved and what made me sick. Hell, Harriett practically kept a journal of when I went to the bathroom. She had my sleeping patterns, notes from the doctor…this woman was hardcore. I was fascinated because she unmade my bed for me every night, fluffed all the pillows and let me slip into the covers before pulling all the blankets up around me. She would talk to me and settle me in. She was like a mother to me…which made my mum rest assured. Roger had called every day since leaving. He wanted to talk to me first and then to Harriett. It was so strange because he had turned into this…this protector or something. I wasn’t used to that because I had always been the one protecting Roger.

 Today was an exciting day because I was meeting the girls for lunch and I couldn’t wait. At twenty-three weeks pregnant, Harriett kept badgering me to gain more weight and I was feeling….frustrated. It was a kind of frustration that had me on the verge of bursting. When I met the girls we had a reservation and didn’t have to wait on a table. Thank god, because I couldn’t wait to explode on my three best friends. We hadn’t seen each other since Christmas and we had much catching up to do. I managed to keep my composure as the hostess directed us to our table.

 “You look so wonderful! Look at you! You’re radiant!” Chrissie smiled all over and ran her hand down my blue sleeve as she took her seat beside me.

 “How are you feeling?” Veronica asked pleasantly. I sighed as our waitress poured our glasses of water and shared the lunch specials with us before handing over the menus and greeting us warmly.

 “Well girls, I’m aroused all the time. All morning, all afternoon, all night. I am throbbing between my legs as we speak. I could screw anything right now. I want to be bent over and pounded hard and relentlessly. I don’t want a damn side salad; I want an all-nighter of sweat, spanking and stains on the sheets. I want to wake up and not be able to Feel. My. Thighs.” I said, pounding my silverware against the table in rhythm. “I want bruises on my hips and soreness in my shoulders! I swear to god….when Roger gets back home in a month, I am going to march him straight to our bedroom, tear off his clothes and make him my whore!” I huffed and looked around the table.

 “So….what’s new?” I asked, all smiles.

 "You know your relationship has been that way for 6 years at least." Mary finally said as I was being stared down.  

 Veronica laughed. “I don't mean to..." Veronica paused wondering if she should really finish her sentence or not. She hid her face and mumbled something into the table. 

 "Huh?" I asked of her. She looked up.

 "Why...why don't...you...you could always just use...something else. I know exactly what it's like to be at the point where you are in this pregnancy." Veronica was blood red. Mary laughed and Chrissie covered her mouth in shock. I huffed again, tapping my glass of water. 

 "Veronica!! I can't believe you! You are actually suggesting I use something that's not a..."

 "Sshhh! Lydia!" Chrissie cautioned me, putting her hand on my arm.  I looked over to her and began fanning myself because, of course, I was becoming hot. "You'll be just like me. When I wanted Brian...I really wanted Brian." Chrissie shook her head. "Do you have that feeling of pure heat just…radiating between your legs and you think you may punch a wall out if you don’t get some of that big cock? Because that’s exactly the way I felt in my fifth month.” Chrissie shook her head more emphatically. Well, it was official Mary was about to choke. Oh, Chrissie. It was moments like this that I lived for with her. It was so very evident that Brian made her hot. I mean, absolutely, positively, hang your tongue out, flush your cheeks, rip your panties apart hot. God, he must be an animal in the bedroom. I’ve always pictured them as the kind of couple who watches the news together and starts to get all bothered by the commercials for shower soaps. But here sweet little Christine was talking about her husband’s manhood.

 "Oh Jesus Christ! Chrissie! Big cock!? Big? Cock? Please! Roger has a cocktail sausage in his pants compared to Brian! I realize that Brian must be hung like a…” I was getting flustered. “Damn it! I refuse to accept the fact that Brian’s main attraction is not his hair, Chrissie! You listen here! You listen to me! You might be driving an Aston Martin in bed but I drive a Ferrari and let me tell you Miss Mullen-May! Ferraris may be smaller in size but my god they have six gears and ride nicely in every one of them !” I stabbed my fork at her. I truly thought Mary was about to choke on her own laughter. I shook my head and angrily flipped the menu open. “Apart from my cock deprived life what’s new? I want to know?” I asked, still scanning the menu. Mary regained her composure and Chrissie looked Veronica’s way.

 “Well, since we’re….on the subject and everything…” Veronica took a deep breath as I sat my menu aside, having made my selection.

 “…I’m pregnant.” She shared with us. Her face lit up beautifully. Mary gasped and I nearly pee’d my pants. Somehow, Chrissie had this information before any of us and I could tell by the way she gushed.

 “Holy…you’re…you’re PREGNANT!?” Mary practically yelled. So much for our table being low profile. My god, we had already covered my libido, Brian’s dick and…now this!

 “Oh my god! Are you serious!? Are you really?” the hormones in me were about to make me cry but I fought it. Veronica shook her head in excitement. I raised my eyebrows at her. “John. Richard. Deacon. Mee-Yooow. Shit! I wish I could drink! I would order all of us a round of cosmopolitans.” I said sighing. “Oh fuck it, you two can have one!” I said pointing to Chrissie and Mary. Veronica sighed happily.

 “It’s very early. I’m not quite two months.” Veronica explained.

 “Oooh someone’s carrying a New Year’s celebration baby.” I gave her a wink. Veronica laughed.

 “Yeah, well you’re carrying drunken birthday baby!” she laughed at me. I couldn’t believe that Veronica was pregnant…with me.

 “You spend so much time pregnant. My god you and Chrissie were pregnant together! You were pregnant on the tour bus! Tell John’s sperm to take a break because it is working overtime.” Mary said, getting our waitress’s attention. I shook my head and looked across the table at Veronica.

 “I can’t believe you’re going to have a third baby! I terrified to have this one and you’re on number three!” I said. Our waitress returned to our table and as I took the liberty to order Mary and Chrissie a drink and Veronica and I a stupid seltzer. We also took the liberty to place our orders. We couldn’t help but continue to discuss Veronica’s new pregnancy a little further.

 “And so when I told John he was very…” Veronica stopped and looked at me. “Oh my god…Lydia are you…are you wearing a necklace with a cross on it?” I groaned and rolled my eyes.

 “It’s Harriett. She thinks my soul needs purged or whatever and somehow that’s going to happen by this tacky gold dangly thing. I can’t not wear it! She would be heart-broken! So, now I…I have this…this necklace. I take it off at night and I swear when Roger gets home I’m…stashing it away in a drawer. Do you know that she put a Virgin Mary…thing…in my sitting room!? A Virgin Mary! I’m not even sitting beside a Virgin Mary!” I turned to Mary and took her hand. “I love you Mary.” She laughed at me.

 “Why in god’s name did you hire this lady?” Mary asked of me.

 “She’s a dear, she’s an absolute dear and Roger thought she was the best qualified. She looks after me closer than my own mother would and shit does she love babies.” I looked over to Chrissie who had a strange look on her face. She looked across the table at Mary.

 “Brian wants to have another baby.” She blurted partially out of nowhere. We all looked at her a little shocked. Mary shrugged as her drink was delivered.

 “Well, if his dick is as big as you say it is that shouldn’t be much of a problem.” Yes, yes the waitress heard this conversation as plain as day. She had just gotten an earful.

 “I told him no.” she admitted, thanking the waitress for her cocktail.

 “Why? Don’t you want another?” Veronica asked, taking her seltzer.

 “Are you kidding me!? I’d love to have another! But…I can’t! Not after…not after what happened. I can’t do it right now. Tour’s gotta’ be over first. I think…Brian and I have some things to work on. ” She said, sifting her focus to the table.

 “So, what? You’re…you’re going to wait until August to…work on something that happened four months ago? In August of this year, you’re going to re-hash something that will have occurred…ten months prior?” I asked of her. Chrissie fluttered her eyes a bit and flicked her gaze sideways.

 “Well, it’s just…we talked and I know how Brian gets so attached and that’s what’s bothering me. He’s so easily…” I stopped her because I could tell where this was going.

 “No. Chrissie, stop. Don’t get in to that poor pitiful me stuff. Brian does the same thing. You both do this. You both get into these modes where you feel so sorry for yourselves. You cannot stew on something for six months until Brian is back for good. Do you realize how crazy that sounds?’ I told her. I could tell by the way she fumbled with her glass that she knew I was precisely right.

 “But having a baby isn’t the answer to…” Chrissie began.

 “What is it you want? You and Brian talked about all this once, right? What is it that you want?” I asked of her. She shrugged.

 “I just…I wanna’ be the one and only. I don’t want a string of affairs littering my marriage.” She shared.

 “A string of affairs? A string of affairs?” Mary questioned and rolling her eyes. “I love you but you really need to open your eyes. You have lived in a fantasy world. I realize you’re sensitive, you wear your heart on your sleeve and Brian does the same. He messed up…one time. You know Brian. He would never…ever hurt you with malicious intent.” Mary shook her head and looked into her lap.

 “You’ll always be the one and only. Don’t let only one ruin it for you. Brian is asking you to have another baby with him. He sure as hell doesn’t want one with anyone else…but you.” I told her.

 “Do it. When Brian gets back in March, you tell him you’re ready to have another baby with him.” Veronica said taking her hand. Hearing it from us, instead of her own head made a smile creep across her lips.

 “Do it!” Mary said, leaning in toward the table.

 “Come on, Chrissie. It’s obvious there’s something in the alcohol because the sperm that's been swimming around this table is on fire. You’ll probably get pregnant on your first try.” I said, Chrissie laughed at me. It was apparent to all of us that she needed someone to talk to; someone to hear a fresh perspective from. “Think of the cock…” I added as our entrées were delivered with perfect timing. The conversation shifted yet again as we started into our lunch.

 “The doctor called me. The results are in.” Mary said, avoiding eye contact with us.

 “What results?” I asked of her.

 “Shit! You…you don’t know. Freddie had some testing done in December for a disease called PCP. It’s a disease that’s affected…” Mary hesitated. “…it’s affected gay men in the United States and…some of them have died from it.” Mary stopped, feeling as if she were going to choke on her words.

 “You can only detect the presence in blood and it starts like the flu.” Veronica added, having known all the details. Mary shook her head to confirm. Chrissie and I were silent. We didn’t know what to say or how to react. It sounded serious.

 “Wh…well?” Chrissie finally uttered, not really knowing where to go from here. Mary sighed.

 “I can’t do it. I can’t go to the doctor and hear the results by myself. I am…I am not yet strong enough to handle this on my own. This is…this is something that doctors don’t know very much about. They’ve given it a name…PCP…and it…it gets worse and it somehow jeopardizes the immune system. The other thing is that the test…the test results aren’t simple.” Mary explained.

 “Veronica got a plus or minus but that’s not what…what I’m in for. It’s not Fred’s in for. It’s kind of…kind of like when that time when your period is late and you’re in limbo.” Mary shook her head and sniffed. I reached out for her hand again. “Since the theme today is pregnancy and…cock. I thought I should contribute.” Mary broke into a smile and of course, the three of us laughed at her. I was still rather shocked by this news though I laughed with her. What in god’s name was she talking about? PCP? And Freddie possibly having…whatever it was? No! This was bogus. He was healthy and touring! There was just no way in hell. I reassured Mary the best way I knew how.

 “You’re gonna’ be alright. Fred’s gonna’ be alright. I think you’re doing the right thing in not inquiring further about the results right now.” I gave her hand a squeeze. She shook her head as her eyes met mine. We had covered so much in such a short length of time.

 “Okay, okay! On to something happier now!” Mary clapped her hands together quickly. “I think we need to talk about…a baby shower.” She said, raising her eyebrows at me, a wicked smile crossing her face. Immediately I thought Chrissie was going to fall out of her chair in excitement and Veronica couldn’t hide her excitement.

 “Oh! Oooh! I wanna’ host it! Let me host it! Pleeeeease! Please! Please! Please!” Chrissie begged.

 “See? I rest my case with little miss ‘wear my heart on my sleeve’ over here.” I said nodding to Chrissie.

 “Oh my god! My mother-in-law has the best punch recipe! It’s pink! We can have pink punch! It’s pink sherbert filled punch!” Veronica said happily. I stabbed my chicken and looked at the three of them as if I were about to kill them all.

 "No! No, no, no, no! No shower. No cake, no cutsie pink and blue, no flowers, no gift wrap, no tissue paper, none of that bullshit!" I ordered. Come hell or high water, I was not having a baby shower.

 "Lydia! Don’t do this! You didn’t have a bachelorette! You didn’t have a wedding shower! My god, you barely had a wedding! You need a baby shower!" Chrissie begged me. 

 “Did you miss my entire commentary? I don’t need a baby shower! I need a penis!! Hi, could I get some more water please?” I asked, smiling up to the waitress.

 “I’ve been thinking about this all January! Oh, it would be so nice to have in Freddie’s garden in the springtime!” Mary said with dancing eyes. Chrissie, began to tear up.

 “Oooooh! It would be so pretty! With the flowers in bloom and the warm springtime air!” Chrissie added.

 "We swear it won’t be cute! No pastel colors and no games!" Veronica said.

 “I'll make Brian hang all the high decorations in Freddie’s house!" I looked at Chrissie. Seriously!? That was her selling point for this damn shower idea!? Brian hanging all the high decorations!?

 "So, you're gonna' hang shit from the ceiling? In Freddie’s house? You want to throw me a shower where shit is hung from the ceiling courtesy of your husband and his huge rod?" I asked. "No." Was my answer. The collective disappointment around the table culminated in a slump from Chrissie, Mary and Veronica.

 “But what about your mum, and…and Roger’s mum! They have a grandchild on the way and they want a proper baby shower.” Chrissie said.

 “Yes! Yes and your super-Catholic nurse midwife! She’d love it!” Mary added. I eyed them all carefully.

 “No, do it for Veronica instead.” I said, hoping they would forget about this. I could feel three sets of sad eyes on me I sat my fork aside for a moment. “Okay, okay fine! We will discuss this again at a time when I am far less sexually driven!” I insisted putting this stupid topic to bed.