Zoey was sitting beside Topanga in two of the four seats on the stage of High School Quiz Show. The producers and stage crew were busy setting up for the episode while Mr. Feeny spoke to one of the managers.

"What do you mean, forfeit?" Mr. Feeny questioned. "My team doesn't know the meaning of the word forfeit."

"Look, High School Quiz Show has been on the air for thirty-six years. We are an institution. We've always had four players per team and we're not about to change that now." The blonde manager explained.

"But the bus broke down. It's not their fault that the bus broke down." Mr. Feeny protested.

"Well, then how did they get there if the bus broke down?" The manager wondered.

"Well, they were driven over by..." Mr. Feeny trailed off, turning to look at the two girls who were suddenly joined by Shawn and Cory.

"Hey, Mr. Feeny." Cory greeted, waving.

"Look, we're smart!" Shawn added cheerfully.

Mr. Feeny turned back to the manager. "Okay, we forfeit."

The manager ignored him and approached the teenagers. "Boys, where do you go to school?"

"Forfeit!" Mr. Feeny exclaimed desperately. "I said we forfeit!"

"We go to, um...." Shawn trailed off. He nudged his best friend. "Hey, Cory, who's that guy?"

"What, the head in the hallway?" Cory wondered.

Shawn nodded. "Yeah."

"That's John Adam's head." Cory told him.

"We go to John Adamshead High School." Shawn announced.

"Which is why we forfeit, you see." Mr. Feeny whispered to the manager.

"Let's get them into makeup." The manager decided.

••••

"And now, back to High School Quiz Show with your host, Arthur Kandib." The announcer, Mr. Prong spoke into the mic.

Arthur Kandib stood in front of the scoreboard with a stack of cards in his hands. "Thank you, Mr. Pong. Alright, teams, for one point: 'The region known as the fertile crescent lies between which two rivers'?" Zoey and Topanga quickly hit their buzzers. "Yes, Miss Francis from John Adams."

"He said fertile." Shawn snickered.

"Uh, he answer is the Tigris and the Euphrates." Zoey answered.

"Yeah, nice try, Zoey." Cory mocked.

"That is correct." Mr. Kandib announced.

"Alright!" Cory cheered.

Shawn stood up and pointed at the opposing team. "You suck!"

Mr. Kandib looked straight into the camera. "And with the score: Hamilton High 20, John Adams High 3-"

"We will not be denied!" Shaw called out which caused the audience to respond enthusiastically.

"We mercifully take a break for these few kind words from our good sponsor at the World of Knowledge." Mr. Kandib finished.

"And we're off." Mr. Prong grumbled into the mi.

"John Adams rocks!" An audience member cheered.

"Thirty seconds." Mr. Prong announced.

Topanga turned to the boys. "Okay, look, we have worked very hard to be on this team. You two just happen to be here..."

"So we would really appreciate it if you would stop pushing the buzzer just because you like the sound." Zoey finished sternly with a pointed glare.

"Okay fine, Miss and Miss Smartypants. If you feel like you can do better then us, the buzzers are yours." Cory replied. He then slammed his hand down on the buzzer. "Sorry, last time."

"Ten seconds." Mr. Prong announced. "In three-two-one...."

"And we're back with my favourite part of the program, the fast-paced, electrically charged lightning round when the question are worth two points. And the category...." Mr. Kandib paused as he looked at the card. "Is 'Whazzup? 'What does the X in X-Men stand for?'"

Shawn and Cory began to whistle and looked around casually. Zoey and Topanga exchanged a look and sighed in defeat.

"Oh, go ahead." Topanga insisted.

Shawn instantly pressed the buzzer. "The X in X-Men stands for the mysterious gene factor which manifests itself as a mutant ability, such as the healing factor of Wolverine or the ability to manipulate the weather in Storm. Dr. Matthews?"

"My esteemed colleague is correct." Cory agreed. "Although he overlooks the amusing coincidence of the X in X-Men also standing for Professor Charles Xavier, the founder of the X-Men and the most powerful mutant mind on the planet."

Mr. Kandib looked at them in shock. "Yes, that's exactly what I have."

••••

When the next show came around, a couple things were different, the name had changed though their seating hadn't, with Zoey and Topanga sitting next to each other followed by the two boys.

"With the Knowledge Fever brain cells dancers and your humble announcer, Milton Prong and your host, Sweet Artie K." Mr. Prong announced with more enthusiasm than he did before.

Mr. Kandib came onto the stage wearing a leather jacket. "Okay, then. Welcome to the show that makes learning hip, hot and happening. Oahu Beach Face savers presents Knowledge Fever." The crowd cheered as he moved to stand behind the podium. "Our returning champions are in the house so let's give it up for John Adams High school. And the challengers, three smart kids from some other school. And now, let's get down with the first round and the category is... oh, what a surprise. The Lifeguards of Baywatch."

Shawn hit the buzzer. "Pamela Anderson plays sexy lifeguard CJ Parker."

"Sexy lifeguard CJ Parker is correct for one million points." Mr. Kandib announced. "And with the score for John Adams High School one million and their future employers zero, let's pause for a few words from our sponsor because that's the way the world works."

Dancers from the advertising company came out on stage as they all took a break.

"And my mum said I watched too much television." Cory said.

"Yeah, well, we're showing them." Shawn agreed.

"Hey, guys, what are we showing them?" Topanga wondered. "I mean, we're answering questions about TV and comic book trivia. Does it really make us feel intelligent?"

Shawn pressed the buzzer. "It is why we are the returning champions."

"Yeah. Let's get our priorities straight." Cory added.

The music then died down.

"And we're back with round two." Mr. Kandib announced as he returned to the stage. "So-"

Shawn hit the buzzer again. "Ren's the dog, Stimpy's the cat, Rocco's a wallaby-"

"And for the bonus points, Honkerburger." Cory finished.

"Is correct for three million points and the game." Mr. Kandib announced.

The audience cheered, prompting the two boys to stand and wave to them. Neither Topanga or Zoey moved from their seats, looking at the crowd in uncertainly.

Miss Kellybacker, one of the managers on the show, strolled to the teenagers. "Cory, just to add a little drama before you answer, do you think you could mop your brow and scrunch up your face like you're not sure of the answer?"

"Yeah, like this?" Cory asked as he demonstrated.

"Perfect." Miss Kellybacker beamed. She then moved to Shawn. "Okay, Shawn. How about you flash some of those thoughtful, pouty, sexy lips?"

"Thoughtful, pouty, sexy lips?" Zoey repeated in confusion. "What sense does that make?"

"I understand exactly. She means this..." Shawn said as he rested his head on his hands and pouted slightly.

"Now, Zoey, why don't you give the audience some pretty doe eyes?" Miss Keyllbacker suggested.

"Like this?" Zoey asked as adapted a dreamy look.

"Perfect!" Miss Kellybacker raised and finally moved onto Topanga. "And Topanga, let's see. Let me see you tousle your hair and just flirt with that camera a little."

"May I just say that I'm, not really comfortable with all of this." Topanga stated. "I mean, before we had questions that required real knowledge and sure, they were tough, but they made us think and I thought that was the whole point of the show."

"Well, the point of the show is to attract an audience." Miss Kellybacker replied. "I suggest you look at your audience."

Zoey turned to the views. In one of the rows, a group of students held a large sign that had 'ZOEY IS OUR QUEEN'. Zoey couldn't help but smile at the support she was receiving.

••••

When Zoey, Shawn, Cory, and Topanga returned to school after filming, they had expected it to be entirely normal and was surprised when people came up to them to ask for autographs.

In Mr. Feeny's class, people were constantly asking Shawn, Cory, and Zoey for their autographs.

Mr. Feeny stood in front of the classroom, lecturing about the topic of the day. "So, Gutenberg invented the printing press, making the written word available to the masses. For the first time in history, the common man had access to the same information that used to be available only to privileged few."

Zoey smiled as she scribbled her autograph on her last year's yearbook photo before handing it to guy with a kind smile.

"And who would you like me to make this out to, my darling?" Cory asked the girl beside his desk as he sighed his name on a photo.

"Gentlemen and lady." Mr. Feeny called to Shawn, Cory, and Zoey. "Might I interrupt your press junket? There's some learning going on here."

"Maybe you feel it's important to learn that Gutenberg invented the printing press but, uh, pop culture and these pouty lips have made me a star." Shawn said.

Mr. Feeny approached the three of them. "I'm going to try and put this as kindly as possible: The show has turned into a circus and you four are driving the tiny car."

"Look, Mr. Feeny, I mean, I'm proud to say that I knew Crusty the Clown was the son of a rabbi." Cory said.

"I answered a real question, Mr. Feeny, about the Tigris and the Euphrates." Zoey pointed out.

"Miss Francis, I would never deny your moment in the sun but Knowledge Fever no longer has much to do with the kind of knowledge I would want you to absorb." Mr. Feeny told her kindly.

"Mr. Feeny, look, the show's proving that we're absorbing the right type of knowledge. I mean, that's why we're the champions." Cory explained which caused the class to applaud.

"Hold it, hold it. Wait a minute, wait a minute." Mr. Feeny called, stopping the class. "Champions of what, Mr. Matthews? Of a generation whose verbal and mathematical skills have sunk so lo when you have the highest technology at your fingertips? Gutenberg's generation thirsted for a new book every six months. Your generation gets a new web page every six seconds and how do you use this technology? To beat King Koopa and save the princess. Shame on you. You deserve what you get."

Everyone was dead silent until the bell rang. The class was about to et up and leave the classroom until Mr. Feeny held up a hand.

"Sit down. Stay where you are. For the first time, I choose to walk out on you." He said and left the classroom.

••••

Knowledge Fever had been renamed Huh, That's Cool with even more obvious Hawaiian theme. Zoey, Shawn, Cory, and Topanga sat in funky chairs and were given coconut drinks while their opponents sat on a couch wearing their school uniforms.

"Oahu Beach Face Saver Pads presents Huh, That's Cool with the Oahu beach dancers. Yours truly, Milton Prong and your stern but groovy mistress, Kiki. Let's hear it for Kiki!" Mr. Prong introduced.

A woman with brunette locks was carried out onto the stage and the audience cheered excitedly. Once she was lowered to the ground, she went to the opponents.

"First, our challengers. Straight-A averages but not much of a tan. Let them know how you feel about them. From right here in Philly, it's Einstein Academy." Kiki announced. The audience booed loudly as she moved to the other side of the stage. "And now, our returning champions. Let's have an Oahu Beach welcome for: Lips. Hair, Eyes and Braniac-14. Here are the questions for round one. The Earth has one natural satellite. It's called the moon. A single lunar phase takes twenty-eight days to complete and involves phases such as the waning gibbous and the waxing gibbous. For eight hundred million points, the moon.... where is it?"

Together, Shawn, Zoey, Cory, and Topanga leaned closer to each other, quietly discussing their answer. Then, they leaned back in their chairs and pointed up at the same time.

"Yes!" Kiki cheered excitedly. "Is right for eight hundred million points." She then walked over to the other team. "Albert Einstein, that same moon, which John Adam's so precisely located as to its exact position in the Universe, that same moon.... what does it weigh?"

The opposite team huddled together as well.

"The exact weight of the moon is eight-one quintillion tons." A student answered.

"I'm sure it is." Kiki agreed hesitantly. "However, it's not exactly the answer we're looking for. John Adam?"

"It doesn't weigh anything cause, well, if it did, it would fall on us." Shawn answered.

"Is right! Yeah!" Kiki shouted enthusiastically. "They were right and you were wrong, which can only mean one thing. Audience?"

"Samoans!" The audience yelled.

Men dressed in tradition Hawaiian outfits came out on stage, wielding long spears and surrounded the Einstein Academy students.

"Huh, That's Cool will be right back!" Kiki informed.

"And, we're out." Mr. Prong announced.

Miss Kellybacker and a man approached the teenagers from the side of the stage.

"Hey kids, this is Brett McInerney. He's our sponsor and he has some great news." Miss Kellybacker told them..

"You know, because of your commitment to education, this show now reaches four times as many kids as it used to." Bree informed.

"That's right." Miss Kellybacker agreed, smiling widely. "Which means Huh, That's Cool is going to need even more of a commitment from you."

"Well, that's great. What do we have to do?" Topanga asked.

"Uh, just miss a couple days of school." Bree replied.

"How many days is a couple?" Zoey wondered.

"Six weeks." Miss Kellybacker answered.

"That, that's cool." Shawn muttered.

"Yeah, we're going to go on location to Oahu." Miss Kellybacker added.

"Columbus, Oahu?" Shawn guessed.

Brett shook his head. "No."

"I don't think I can go." Zoey said honestly.

Miss Kellybacker looked down at her in shock. "Excuse me?"

"Six weeks from school? We have finals coming up. My grades have been suffering as it is." Zoey explained.

"Um, yeah, Miss Kellybacker." Cory agreed. "You know, we're having fun and everything, but do you think we could think about it, if that's okay?"

Miss Kellybacker hesitated for a moment. "Oh, yeah. You should definitely think about it, but I also want you to think about how you have become scholastic role models for millions of kids out there."

"So let's get in the bathing suits and let's get ready for round two." Bree announced.

••••

When the four of them were on set the next day, they approached Miss Kellybacker to make a suggestion.

"So, we were all talking and we think you should ask some intelligent questions too." Topanga suggested.

Miss Kellybacker laughed. "Oh, why? Whatever for?"

"So there could be some educational value on the show." Zoey simply explained.

"Like there used to be." Cory added.

"Okay, darling, here's some education value. See, no one watched the show when we asked intelligent questions. Now they watch the show so I think we're doing the right think, okay?" Miss Kellybacker told the teens.

"Don't you think we should do a smart show if so many kids watch?" Cory asked.

"This is an outrages star demand." Miss Kellybacker said in disbelief. "Is this the thanks I get for making you famous?"

"Actually, nobody recognizes me without my brain head." Cory admitted.

"So all four of you feel like this?" Miss Kellybacker asked. They all nodded. "Shawn? You're a good looking guy. Who cares what kind of questions we ask or what you know as long as you come off looking cute, popular and you win?"

Shawn glanced at the other three. "I'll have to think about that."

"Okay, you do that. In any case, we were prepared for this." Miss Kellybacker said and walked away from them.

"What do you think she meant by that?" Cory wondered.

"Well, it doesn't sound for us." Zoey answered truthfully.

Zoey, Shawn, Cory, and Topanga took their seats when the show began.

"It's hot. It's steamy. It's Oahu beach, and now here's the woman the puts the oh in Oahu.. Here's Kiki!" The announcer introduced.

Kiki walked on stage, cheering. "Let's have a Kiki-Wiki welcome for our returning champions: Hair. Lips. Eyes. And Braniac-14." The crowd cheered. "And now some very special challengers from Malibu, California. Here's Viper Jones, Surfer Girl, Crazy Mazy and Moondoggie."

Four blonde kids appeared on the stage, dancing their way to the couch as the crowd decided to cheer for them.

"Uh-oh." Cory said in concern.

"Well, this is too dramatic. Here we are, with one final question and the score is tied at one million trillion points each." Kiki announced. "And the questions goes to.... Lips." She moved closer to Shawn. "Okay, Lips, answer correctly and you win again. Blow it, and Malibu become the new champions and gets a million trillion points. So, for the whole enchilada: who invented the printing press and made the written word available to the masses for the first time in history?"

Shawn didn't answer straight away. Even thought he knew the correct response, there was a lot more riding on the question then winning the game.

The buzzer went off, meaning that his time was over.

"I don't know." Shawn admitted. "I don't really know anything. I'm just cute and fun to watch."

••••

The next day, the four of them arrived at school before anyone else and took their traditional seats in Mr. Feeny's class. When Mr. Feeny walked into the classroom, he was surprised to see them.

"Miss Lawrence, Mr. Matthews, Miss Francis, Mr. Hunter. You're early to my class. Why are you early to my class?" Mr. Feeny wondered. Shawn raised his hand. "Mr. Hunter?"

"Jonathan Gutenberg. Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1450." Shawn said.

"Yes, I believe I taught you that." Mr. Feeny responded. Zoey raised her hand. "Miss Francis?"

"Can you teach us something else, please?" Zoey wondered with a small smile.

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PUBLISHED: August 9, 2018
WORDS: 3052