Zoey sat at her desk while Mr. Turner was walking around the classroom, discussing about the book that they were reading for the week.

"Cyrano de Bergerac stands in the shadows whispering poetry to the lovely Roxanne, but she thinks it's the good-looking guy speaking to her. So our poor, big-nosed lug with the heart of the woman he loves, but he wins it for somebody else." Mr. Turner said to the class.

"That is so sweet and so noble, that he would sacrifice his own happiness to help his friend." Topanga said and Zoey nodded in agreement.

"Other opinions?" Mr. Turner wondered.

"Loser!" The boys in the classroom shouted.

"Okay, define 'loser'." Mr. Turner said.

"Big dip." Shawn explained.

Zoey turned to him in confusion. "What?"

"It makes no sense. I mean, he likes this girl and then he passes her on to another guy." Cory said.

"Dip... the biggest." Shawn stated.

"Zoey, can you refute the 'dip' theory?" Mr. Turner asked.

"Cyrano performs a totally selfless act and he does it for the sake of love." Zoey simply explained.

Topanga nodded in agreement. "That is so romantic."

"Why?" Shawn questioned, confused. "What does he get out of it? He knocks himself out spewing poetry, his friends get the girl... All he can do is go home and blow his big nose."

"Rebuttal from the estrogen section." Mr. Turner said to Topanga.

"Boys don't understand passion and romance, and will never understand women." Topanga said. She turned around to face both Shawn and Cory with a pointed look. "And that's why all of you will spend half your lives confused and the other half paying alimony."

"I agree with Topanga." Zoey said.

"This is interesting." Mr. Turner stated. "The women here find Cyrano compelling and romantic, and yet the men find him misguided and... dip like. What does this tell us?"

"Women like dips?" Cory guessed.

"Sorry, Matthews, no luck." Mr. Turner said. "It tells us that men have a hard time understanding what women find romantic."

"Will that be on the test?" Shawn wondered.

"Oh, yeah, in ways you can not yet imagine." Mr. Turner responded sarcastically.

••••

Next day in school, Cory, Shawn and Zoey were currently walking the halls, talking about how greasy Harley hair was.

"I'm telling you, the macaroni and cheese had more grease than Harley hair." Cory said.

"I think that's how they made it" Shawn stated.

"Yeah, they just turned him over and wrung him out." Zoey said which caused the three of them to laugh.

The three continued laughing but stopped when they saw Harley standing a couple of feet in from them, giving the three a death glare.

Shawn, Cory and Zoey pointed at Harley and gasped in shock.

"And I thought it was gonna be a slow day." Harley commented as he approached them.

Harley walked up to the three and slightly pushed Shawn back, causing him to stumble. The three nervously walked back while Harley kept walking forward.

"What? You thought we were talking about your hair?" Zoey said with a slight scoff, gulping nervously.

Cory shook his head. "No... no... Everybody knows your hair's not greasy."

"Why don't you test it and tell me?" Harley challenged. Cory then slicked his hand through Harley's hair.

"Wow, dry as a bone." Cory stated. He placed his hand against the locker and immediately slipped onto the floor. Zoey pressed a hand up to her mouth, trying not to laugh. Cory immediately got up. "Sorry, inner ear problem."

"Here's a quarter, baboon." Harley said, passing him the quarter before shoving him towards the payphone. "Call your parents - say goodbye."

"Uh, Harley, you know, in many countries, what I said about your hair, it might be considered a compliment. For example, Greece." Cory quickly said.

The blonde girl, Gloria (Harley's girlfriend) began laughing at Cory's joke.

"That's funny." Gloria stated in her New York accent.

"Yeah, yeah, he's a pretty funny guy." Harley said, nodding in agreement.

Cory smiled widely. "So I guess I get to live, huh?"

"Ha! There's that humor again." Harley responded. "I will miss that."

"Oh, Harley... Are you sure you gotta beat him up?" Gloria wondered. Shawn and Zoey then walked towards Harley, Gloria and Cory.

"Yeah, you don't wanna do something ugly to us in front of this beautiful... angel of the hallway." Shawn said, trying to get on Gloria's good side. "Harley, why would you waste your time pounding us when you could be spending it with Claudia Schiffer's cuter sister?"

Gloria smiled at the compliment. "Oh, I don't know that I would say cuter."

"Turn it off!" Harley ordered Shawn.

"Turning it off, sir." Shawn quickly said, standing beside Zoey.

"Oh, come on, Harley, go easy on 'em." Gloria begged softly, holding onto Harley's arm. "Do it for me."

Harley paused for a moment before he spoke. "Very well, Gloria. I will not lay a hand on them." Zoey, Shawn and Cory all smiled. "Frankie, remember that piñata I promised you for your birthday? Here's three."

Zoey's eyes widened in fear when Harley pushed her and Shawn towards Frankie along with Cory. Frankie got up from his seat on the bench and pushed the three of them towards the cafeteria. Cory stood behind Shawn for cover, while Shawn placed Zoey in front of him.

"Look, I've got an idea." Cory began quickly as they moved around the cafeteria quickly. "How about you gives us a five-minute head start and then you hunt us down? That way it's more fun for you."

"Okay, the way I see it, you guys got two options. One - you die." Frankie said.

"I'll take number two." Cory suggested.

Zoey nodded in agreement. "Same, I'll go with number two."

"Yeah, number two is looking good to me." Shawn said.

"Number two is, you do me a favor." Frankie finished.

"Done." Cory quickly said.

"Would be happy to." Shawn agreed.

"You just name it." Zoey said with a frightened smile on her face.

"I, Frankie Stecchino, am in love." He announced.

Cory leaned towards Shawn and Zoey, confused. "Where is this going?"

"She's a goddess stepped down from heaven. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. Her voice is like the tinkling of bells. And her eyes... also tinkle like balls." Frankie explained.

"Well, that's real sad and tender and... what do you want from us?" Cory wondered.

"Help me woo her." Frankie responded.

"What?" Shawn asked in confusion.

"Woo her." Frankie repeated.

"What?!" Shawn questioned once more, turning to Cory and Zoey.

"I've watched you guys." Frankie said before he pointed at Cory. "You're a good little talker." He then pointed at Shawn. "And you... girls seem to have a thing for you." He then pointed at Zoey. "And you... boys seem to have an interest with you."

A small proud smile spread across Zoey's lips as she moved some of her hair away from her face. "I can't disagree on that one."

"I want you guys to coach me." Frankie said.

Cory sighed. "Frankie, I don't know if we're the guys to help you woo her."

"What?" Shawn asked in confusion.

"There, there." Zoey muttered, softly patting Shawn on the head. "You'll know it soon."

"Have you talked to Harley about this?" Cory questioned. "I mean, he could probably help you out more than us."

"So... you do not feel able to do me this favor?" Frankie asked in a serious tone.

"It's probably not such a great idea." Cory responded with a small shrug.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Frankie agreed as he pushed the three and began marching towards them. "Alright piñata boys and girl, which one of you has the prize inside?"

"I don't wanna die before I know what woo is." Shawn stated, raising his hand in the air.

Zoey rolled her eyes. "Are you serious?"

••••

After school the three of them walked over to Cory's house. When they walked inside the building, Zoey noticed Eric by the coat rack.

"Hey, Cor." Eric greeted.

"Hi." Cory retorted.

"Shawn, Zoey.." Eric said before his eyes widened in fear when he saw Frankie walking inside. "Aah!"

"Eric, you know Frankie Stecchino. Frankie, this is my brother Eric." Cory introduced.

"Sure, Eric, I stole your lunch everyday, ninth grade." Frankie said with a smile. "Don't tell me - tune on white."

Eric chuckled nervously. "Wheat."

"Right, right... Those were days, huh?" Frankie said.

"Excuse me." Eric said before he turned to the three with a confused expression. "What's the enforcer doing in our house?"

"We have it under control." Shawn assured.

"It's fine." Cory stated.

"'Under control'?" Eric repeated. "Frankie Stecchino sprinkles guys like you on his pizza.

"Eric, please everything's fine." Cory said.

"Okay. Just remember, no sudden movements, no shiny objects in front of his face. Okay?" Eric said before he turned to Frankie. "It was nice seeing you again, Frankie."

"Nice to see you again, tuna." Frankie responded.

"Yeah." Eric said as he made his way up the stairs, leaving Shawn, Cory and Zoey alone in the living room.

"Okay, guys, teach me in the ways of loves." Frankie said.

"All right, Frankie. This girl you like, you ever try to talk to her?" Zoey wondered.

"Oh, I uh.... I... I.... I..." Frankie stuttered nervously.

"You can not let her psych you, man." Shawn told him. "You just gotta walk right up to her and tell her you like her, okay?"

"Oh..." Frankie groaned.

"Okay." Shawn started, picking up a lamp from the side table. "Let's pretend that this is her."

"Mmm... could the pillow be her?" Frankie wondered.

"Anything you want, Frankie." Zoey responded, grabbing a pillow and handed to Cory.

"Ah, there she is." Shawn said, standing behind Frankie while Cory held the pillow up in front of face. "Ooh... she looks very pretty today.

"I'd better go." Frankie said as he tried to back away.

Shawn stopped him. "Ah... come on. Come on, tell her how nice she looks."

Frankie went silent.

"I can't take my eyes off you." Zoey whispered.

"I can't take my eyes off you." Frankie said, repeating Zoey's words towards the pillow.

"Thank you, Frankie. That's real nice." Cory responded, mimicking a girl's voice.

"I just wanted to tell you how pretty that dress is." Shawn whispered to Frankie.

"I just wanted to tell you how pretty that dress is." Frankie repeated once more.

"Oh, this old thing." Cory said, continuing his girl voice. Frankie couldn't help but chuckle lightly.

"There you go, you can do this." Zoey encourage.

Frankie quickly shook his head. "No, no, no... I could never do this by myself. You guys have to come with me."

"Frankie, I think she's gonna noticed two guys and a girl hanging around you." Cory pointed out. "I mean, what are you gonna do, put us in a locker?"

••••

"You had to ask didn't you, Cor?" Zoey hissed when her, Cory and Shawn were all squished inside a school locker.

Zoey grunted, chest to chest with Shawn while Cory was squeezed beside them. It was so tight inside and Zoey was feeling very uncomfortable pressed against Shawn.

"Stay with me here." Frankie said as he stood outside of the locker.

"Frankie, it's not like there's a back way out of here." Cory said.

"I know, I checked." Frankie replied.

"Frankie, you're talking to yourself." Zoey heard a familiar girl voice that had an accent.

"Not really. See, I uh... Mmm... oh..." Frankie stuttered.

Zoey furrowed her eyebrows. "She sound familiar to you?"

Cory nodded. "She does."

"Quiet." Shawn hissed. "This is hard for me to say."

"This is hard for me today." Frankie repeated wrongly.

"Because I've watched you for so long. And I've always dreamed of telling you how I feel about you." Shawn continued as he stared down at Zoey as he spoke.

"Because I've watched you... so long. And I've always dreamed of... something." Frankie said.

"What are you saying?" The girl asked.

"I love you!" Shawn whispered.

"I love you." Frankie repeated.

"You do?" The girl asked, sounding surprised.

"I've always loved you. I think about you all the time. If you were my girl, I would treat you like the magic princess that you are." Frankie explained.

"You know, your friend never talks to me like this." The girl pointed out.

"Perhaps he is not racked with the love that consumes his entire being." Frankie responded. "You wanna go get a burger?"

"I would love to." The girl answered.

"Shawn, Zoey, I just figured out who that girl was." Cory said.

"Hey, she likes him. We did in." Shawn said with a proud smile on his face.

"Oh, we did it all right. We just fixed up Frankie with Harley Keiner's girlfriend." Cory announced. Zoey's face immediately dropped and her mouth parted in shock.

"That's not possible." Shawn stated.

Shawn opened the locker and stepped out to see Frankie with Gloria. He pointed and gasped which Frankie didn't understand because he followed Shawn's actions, doing the same at Gloria.

"Oh, boy... oh, boy... Oh, boy...! We're in such trouble here." Cory said as he got out of the locker.

Zoey nodded in agreement, running her fingers through her hair. "Yeah, we're totally dead."

"No, nobody saw us. No witnesses. And without witnesses, it's all just circumcised evidence." Shawn said.

"Shawn, we just helped Frankie snake Harley's girlfriend. I mean, we have him love lessons, we hid in the locker, we told him what to say. How is that not trouble?" Zoey questioned, raising her eyebrows.

"Okay, let me think. Uh, protective custody, plastic surgery... Ah! We dress up as girls, pretend we're out out-of-town cousins and say we haven't seen ourselves." Shawn said.

"No, that's never work." Zoey told him, shaking her head.

"Oh, yeah? Tell my Uncle Mary." Shawn responded.

Zoey gasped lightly when she saw Harley approached them, walking down the small flight of stairs.

"Harley!" Cory exclaimed. Shawn quickly pulled Zoey in front of him. "How are ya?"

"Didn't I tell Frankie to dispose of you guys?" Harley wondered.

"Yes, and he did. He killed us - big time." Shawn replied.

"And now we're the angels of ourselves." Cory simply explained.

"And it's time for us to float away." Zoey said.

"Float... float." Cory said as the three of them, flinging their arms up and down as if they were flying away while they walked down the hall.

"Either of you angels see my girl?" Harley questioned.

"You mean Gloria?" Cory asked.

"No, we haven't seen her." Shawn answered.

"No, there's no reason we could have seen her." Zoey said.

"We were in the locker the whole time." Shawn explained. Zoey's eyes widen and slapped him up the back of his head.

"The whole time what, boys and girl?" Harley questioned as he slowly approached them.

"Come on, Shawn and Zoey... Float... float.." Cory said. The three did the flying motions with their hands and tried to run away, but Harley grabbed them.

••••

Shawn, Cory, Zoey and Harley stood together at the bottom of the stairs of Chubbies, staring at the booth where Frankie and Gloria sat at. Zoey looked at the pair and noticed that they both seemed very happy with each other's company.

"I cannot believe my eyes." Harley stated. "I am betrayed by my best girl and my most trusted flunky."

"Maybe you just need some time alone." Cory suggested. He was about to run up the stairs, but Harley grabbed him and pulled him back.

"My world is shattered. I feel so... vulnerable." Harley admitted. "Think I'm going to have to kill somebody."

"Please don't be me. Please don't be me." Zoey muttered under her breath, crossing her fingers.

"Okay, everybody outta here!" Harley ordered. Everyone inside Chubbies rushed up the stairs. Harley pushed the three further into the room as he stormed towards the booth where Gloria and Frankie where. "Everybody except you two."

Shawn, Cory and Zoey tried to make an escape but they were pulled back by Harley.

"Us three, I guess, huh?" Zoey said with a nervous smile

Harley leaned down on the table, looking between Frankie and Gloria. "Frankie.... Hmmm... Gloria... Imagine my surprise."

"Harley, I can explain." Frankie started.

"I look forward to hearing it." Harley said.

"I went behind your back and stole your girl." Frankie explained. "I know this is a betrayal of a sacred trust, but I have no choice. I am but a pawn of love."

"How could you do this to me?" Harley questioned.

"You wanna know why?" Gloria asked as she stood up beside him. "I'll tell you how. All it took was somebody saying something nice to me for a change. Making me feel special for a chance."

"I make you feel special. I get you stuff." Harley said.

"What did you ever get me that made me feel special?" Gloria questioned.

"Tires! Steel-belted." Harley responded, raising his voice.

"Three!" Gloria shouted.

"The guy came back!" Harley argued.

"You never think about what I like." Gloria complained.

"I ain't got that kind of time." Harley stated.

"Well maybe you should've made some time. Maybe if you cared about me, and thought about me, instead of all the time thinking about you." Gloria said.

"If I thought about you, who'd think about me, huh?" Harley questioned.

"Guys!" Cory called.

"What?!" Harley shouted.

"You know, every couple goes through this. I mean, you're going through it, my parents are going through it." Cory said.

"Your parents do this?" Harley asked.

"Well, not quite as loud, but yeah." Cory answered with a small shrug. "See, my mum's mad at my dad because he got her a trash compactor for their anniversary."

"What a yutz." Harley stated, chuckling lightly.

"Oh, yeah, that's a long way away from tires." Gloria said

"So your parents, they gonna split up?" Harley wondered.

Cory shook his head. "No. I mean, they'll work it out. They always do."

"How?" Harley questioned.

"I don't know." Cory answered honestly.

"But they always do?" Harley asked.

"Yeah." Cory replied.

The room was silent. Zoey watched as Harley gave both Gloria and Frankie a look before he walked out of Chubbies.

Zoey felt bad for Harley, he's all tough but deep down he wants to be loved.

Everyone does.

___________________
PUBLISHED: March 21, 2018
WORDS: 3063