Hey, how are you doing?

And second question, why does Spit Out the Bone make me sad?

It's my new life's dilemma

Get ready, because this story is a wild ride

You all know about Kirk and the pig head, right?

If you don't, here's a summary, go search it on YouTube if you're curious

Basically they were playing at the monsters of rock in 1985 and the stage was already dumpster.

 But then someone threw A FUCKING PIG HEAD on the stage, and Kirk was so traumatized, because after that they also threw a DEVILED HAM(met) SANDWICH ON HIS GUITAR

HE SAID THAT THE HEAD LANDED LIKE, NEXT TO CLIFF BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE IT WHAT THE FUCK CLIFF 

AND KIRK WAS SO PISSED OFF

AND ROSS HALFIN TOOK A PICTURE

AND THAT PICTURE IS ON THE BACK COVER OF THE ALBUM 

JESUS WHAT IS THIS STORY

By the way, I told this tale to my sister and she immediately started working with her incredible imagination 

So here is the story of how Metallichini lost all of their songs, for Lars' plan.

(Metallichini would be like... Metallikin? Metallikie? Metallicy? Little Metallica? Yeah you got it)

Who are they and what happened?

Basically Lars and James heard Metallichini playing their songs, and thanks to Lars' (and when is it not him?) magical memory they decided to copy them, straight up make the same exact song

An uncredited cover basically

And this didn't stop with KEA

Nor with RTL

It never stopped, ALL Metallica songs made with Cliff are Metallichini songs

JESUS CHRIST SISTER WHAT 

So of course Metallichini got a liiiitle biiit angry, just a little

And decided to get revenge, but not by suing them. Movie-like revenge

So they made a plan even better than Lars' plan

They had two different types of targets:

The "physical" targets

The "message" targets

The physical ones were Kirk and Cliff, not the ones that took part in stealing the songs, the innocents, the victims, the lambs.

And by hurting them they wanted to send a message to Lars and James, the song thieves.

But as we saw, Cliff wasn't really bothered, because he was used to their attacks.

And here the myth takes two routes, my sister isn't really sure about what happened 

First route, they see that Cliff doesn't give a shit (and when is it not him?) And they get even more angry

Second route, Lars and James keep stealing their songs, and release the third album, Master of Puppets

Both of these routes bring to the same place, though

I think you get it (?)

I mean, I straight up just said "route"

But yeah, Metallichini caused the accident

Jesus Christ my sister needs a chamomile tea

At least according to her this also explains the change in the music style, because they stopped stealing stuff

This is really thought through

AND it is not over

Metallichini hates Metallica

But who else hates Metallica?

Yep, you guessed it

METALLICHINI AND MEGADETH WERE ALLIES

BECAUSE DAVE DIDN'T WANT TO STEAL THEIR SONGS, SO THEY KICKED HIM OUT

And stole his songs too

But chill, they didn't take part in the accident

And it's not like the accident ended it all

They still thought they weren't revenged enough (bish, you just killed a guy that didn't do anything, what more do you want?)

So they set James on fire

Seems legit

And she built this story with basically any knowledge she had about Metallica from 1981 to the 90s, so praise her effort lmao

But to have a sister I need parents right? Well, I have a mother (this sentence is weird)

That has another take on the story of the accident (YES THAT'S ALWAYS A MAJOR POINT IN THE PLOT)

She doesn't know about Metallichini, her story is much simple

*After my father explains the story of Cliff era Metallica, without anyone asking him*

Mom: "Ah, for me he killed ✨the guy✨, it's too suspicious (amogus) that he knew all their songs, and on bass!"

Yep. Jason killed Cliff to become Metallica's bassist.

Jesus, I love my family