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      Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.
                        – Will Smith.

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     I was going down.
   My heart was shutting
And now, is in smithereens.
I still don't know how to react.
  I don't know what to hold on to
Not even my daily quotes can pull me up.
Why does the words of men hurt so much?
                Why?

I look at the students around me. Once again, someone had thrown an insult on me as they all found it amusing.

"Of course na. She is breeding rats in that her bushy hair. If I see crockroach there, I won't be surprised sef," a girl snarls as she munchs on her gum. She eyes me and laughs. "No go make your hair. Be looking like mad woman".

I ignore her. I had tied my hair with an handkerchief and had left it out as an afro. Many girls do this style but I am not surprised to see them mock mine. Another week had passed and the insults got worst. They took my silence as my weakness. Sadly, it was. I am weak, I'm helpless and I'm hurting. I want to make a snarky comment but I've lost my voice around them. I guess because they had figured that I have a low self-esteem and they are using it to their advantage. Precious is the queen of it all. She is always insulting my fashion sense, stature, look and all. It shouldn't hurt but since I don't have confidence in myself, the words do.

I know I should build my confidence but I can't help agreeing with them. I'm ugly. I. AM. UGLY.

Class continues silent for awhile before Precious gangs decide to pick on a boy who also had a low self-esteem. He insulted Precious to defend me. I feel bad. I should be defending myself. Now, he has to deal with Precious' insults too.

It is 11am as I walk out of the class and decide to stop at the toilet.  I wash my face and look into the mirror. I want to appreciate myself but a voice is always telling me, Do you think you are important? Do you think you are beautiful? Don't forget you are deformed. Your aunt did it to you. Hide it or you will cry more.

It's crazy how those words haunt me. A teardrop rolls down and falls to the sink. I stare at it as it drains.

"So you are here?" Precious' voice blast in the washroom. I wipe my cheek immediately. "Awwn! The pathetic girl is crying. So emotional".

"I don't have your time," I tell her and walk to the door. When I open it, six girls force their way in. They grip me and Precious asks, "Why are you always wearing sleeves? What are you hiding?"

I try to fight myself out of their grip but they press me to the wall and a girl's hand wraps my throat, restricting my airflow.

"Let's take a peep at your secret, fool! Stay still," Precious spit out and narrows her eyes at me. The girls pull my long sleeve shirt from my head and my white tanktop is revealed. Their horrified look makes me wish the ground could swallow me.

"Ewwww! Her arms, Precious. They have scars" A girl says with disgust and lets go of me.

Precious stares at me with wide eyes. "What happened to your arms?" she asks with concern.

The moment I was feeling some ray of hope that she was kind, she says "Nice! I want the class to see you. Zebra!"

The girls burst into laughter and they pull me to the classroom. It is break time so the teachers aren't in their classes.

"Come and see oo!" Precious screams. "Come and see this Zebra and her stripes".

Everyone stares at me with disgust before they begin to feign apologetic looks.

"Leave my arm," I tell Precious in rage. She takes my words as a joke and grips me more. I try to free myself. It doesn't work so I proceed to slap her and then, I start a fight with the girls. The fight isn't able to get intense since the receptionist comes in and stops us. I got the chance to give some of them my hardest slaps, Precious included. They are sending daggers at me as they rub their cheeks.

Students laugh as Precious chants, "Zebra!"

I shake my head at them and walk out of the tutorial with my shoulders hunched. I stand at the front gate of the tutorial, my back to it and my front to the road. The receptionist had called Aaron about the fight and he had insisted on giving me a ride home. I know he has a reason for that. He probably wants to scold me. Who would want to hear complain from a tutorial that the girl he is wasting his money on his fighting? Yes, that's what I call it, a waste. He is wasting his money on an ugly girl and that girl is me. As I stand waiting for him, I often beg the ground to swallow me.  Precious had hidden my shirt so my arms and scars are in full display to the world.

As I suck in a long breathe and stare at a tree across me, my thought goes back to the expression of everyone's face on seeing my arm. The receptionist wanted to pretend like she hadn't seen but it didn't changed the fact that she was intentionally avoiding eye contact. It's probably because she felt guilty or that she knew I would read the disgusted look on her face if we should make eye contact. A bright black Jeep drives and stops a few steps from me. It is parked and the driver hops out. Aaron sends a displeased look at me as he heads into the tutorial. I didn't want to follow him but he comes out and glares at me. I groan and follow him. We go to the office of the administrator of the tutorial. As he beckons me to go in, his eyes fall on my scars but it leaves immediately. He speaks with the man in charge and Precious is brought to the office. She narrates the story that I just rose and slapped her because she asked me why I had scars. Aaron sends another displeased look at me.

"I'm sorry about that," Aaron tells Precious. She immediately claps her together. "You don't have to apologise sir. You aren't the one to apologize. She should".

Aaron glances at me and he reads the expression on my face. He nods at Precious and says, "She won't apologize to you".

"Why?"

"She won't. She is stubborn"

Precious smirks. "You even know sef".

Aaron ignores her and speaks to the administrator.

"Sorry sir," Precious says, doe-eyed. "Aren't you Mr Ibe? The billionaire bachelor in Lagos!"

Aaron ignores her. After he has spoken to the man, he says to me "Let's go".

I frown at Precious. She doesn't deserve any apology. It's unfortunate Aaron wasted his apology and saliva.

"Sorry sir. Is she related to you? Hm...Like...Do you know her?" Precious tries again, moving at our pace. We are in the hallway.

"Yes!" His reply catches some attention..

A student screams. "Precious, you don enter. I no join you oo". I glance at her and I see the horrified look on her face.

Aaron leads me to his car. We get in and an uncomfortable silence hover in the air. He then eyes my scars but asks, "Why did you fight?"

I roll my eyes.

"Answer!"

I roll my eyes.

"What's wrong with you? I didn't expect this immaturity from you. I heard you also poured water on the girl. I sent you there to read not look for trouble"

I avert my gaze out the window. My eyes get teary but I still don't reply him and just stare at the tree that had caught my attention earlier. He starts ranting about my behavior being unacceptable, uncivilized and unladhly while tears keep rolling down my cheeks. I sniff and finally look at him.

"Can you please take me to my place? I'm tired"

His eyes widen to see my teary face. "What happened?"

"I don't need fake sympathy. Thank you"

He falls silence and just watch me.

"I'll take you to Sandra's place. I'm sure you need a friend to talk to. If you don't want to open up to me, you can open up to her," he finally says in a firm voice to pose that his decision is final.

He ignites the car and we drive off. After a long ride, we arrive at her place. Her gateman informs her about our visit and she instructs him to let us in. Aaron swaggers into the house as though he owns it while I follow him sheepishly.

"What's up?" Sandra greets as she rushes down the stairs.

"Your friend fought in the tutorial," Aaron says and shrugs nonchalantly.

"Why did you— " her words stop midway when she sees my arm. She looks up at me with her brows crease in confusion. "What happened? Your...your arms?"

I don't say a thing. Aaron moves closer to me and his eyes scan my arms. "The wounds are healing. Maybe later you can get an ointment for them. Agreed?"

I raise a brow at him. He wasn't seeing me as trash. Instead, he was suggesting how to help the healing process. I nod.

"Sandra, deal with her, alright? I've got business at my office. Farewell"

We bid him goodbye and Sandra pulls me to her room pleading for an explanation. I narrate everything to her and she almost finished a toilet roll with all the tears she was shedding. I know my past hurts and narrating it is quite painful. Also, hearing my story can lead you to tears. I'm not surprised to see her reaction.  Everything about my past hurts except the beautiful memories of my parents.

"You never told me you were maltreated. You know my dad has connection. I could have helped you back then"

"It doesn't matter"

"It does. I thought we were friends. I can't believe you hid this from me"

"I'm sorry"

"Ifunanya, I know you may not be confident in yourself but I want you to know you are a brave woman. Despite all your aunt did to you, you didn't sort to negative ways to punish them. You didn't go suicidal. You are even brave to the point to start live afresh when you were given the chance. It's you versus this world and you are still doing your best. You haven't given up on life. You haven't given up on your fashion designing despite how discouraging and stressful it can be. You still even want to continue your education sef. Your parents left you at a young age and you haven't allowed the world to turn you to something else. You are still the sweet lovely girl that you are. I still find you fighting. The scars makes you beautiful. Have you met some hunters or adventurers who proudly boast of the scars they get in the forest? They see the beauty in it. It proves their bravery and it stands as an evidence of their strength. They use it to prove to whomever is listening that they did go into the forest and conquered. You have conquered child abuse and you may still be healing but you are unique because you are still fighting. Beauty is not all about the outward but the inner. Even outward, you are still beautiful. Have you seen yourself. You just need to take care of yourself more and the world will be speechless when they see you".

"How can I do that? How can I make them speechless?" I ask, my eyes shimmering with tears.

"You want that?"

"Yes please" I clasp my hands at my chest.

"You sure?"

"Yes!" I nod.

"Okay! I will help you. For now, you need two week break from that tutorial to rest your head".

"Okay!"

"Do you promise to do as I tell you?" She cocks a brow expectantly.

"Yes"

"Okay. Then we have a deal," Sandra replies and pulls in for hug. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and pray for the best that's yet to come.

         A/N: Thanks for reading. I do appreciate. Sorry for the late update. Leave a comment pls. Don't forget to VOTE. 💃💃

❤️❤️❤️ God bless you all.