Normally, Kenny would be more than just a little ticked off whenever somebody would call him while he was trying to get a good night's sleep.

He always kept his phone on, volume turned to the highest setting, just in case one of his friends would need him in that moment. He remembered a few times before he began that rule when his night-owl buddies would sneak off in the middle of god-fuck nowhere and would have to wait until morning until people could get them out. When they got in trouble, and Kenny was the one getting blamed for not picking up his phone, he started keeping the volume up.

When his phone rang one exhausting Friday night, he assumed that it was just another one of those situations where his friend got lost or trapped in a building they weren't supposed to be in. He tried his best not to talk like he was mad at whoever called, but when his thumb traced the green button and the phone was pressed up against the side of his face, he found himself snapping out a greeting.

"Hello?"

A pause.

"He... Hello?"

He blinked in surprise when he couldn't recognize the voice. It was quiet and timid, yet somehow sluggish at the same time.

"Hello?" He repeated, "Who is this?"

"Is this... the suicide hotline?"

Kenny pulled his phone away to see his number, wincing when he saw that it was one he didn't recognize. When he put it back, he hoped to God that the kid on the other side didn't ask anything while he couldn't hear him.

"Um ...no? Unfortunately...."

"No?"

"...no"

"Oh. Oh- I see. This is clearly a sign that I... shouldn't have called. It was my mistake. I'll hang up now."

"Wait! wait, hold on..."

There was shallow breathing on the other side. Maybe he shouldn't have shouted, but he needed to grab his attention before he left.

"What?"

"You're not gonna hurt yourself, are you?"

As soon as it left, he regretted it. What kind of question was that?

"Why?"

"Because I'm concerned...?"

"It's not like you really know me on a personal level."

There was another pause, but this time it left his skin crawling anxiously.

"There is no one who cares about me. No one who loves me. I don't matter."

Before Kenny could respond, they hung up.

"Shit!" He cursed, already trying to call back.

There was someone out there who called him. Someone who, by the looks of it, wasn't in a good place right now.

He had to help him.

He might be the only one who could.

He called, more times than he would've liked to admit, before resorting to text.

Hello?
Are you okay?
Sent at 11:52 PM

It didn't take long for him to respond.

You
Your the numbber I called
You're
You
You
You
Sent at 11:53PM

A pause.

Stop calling
Sent at 11:54 PM

I'm trying to help
Sent at 11:54 PM

I don t want help
I'm OK
Sent at 11:54 PM

Then why did you call the hotline?
Sent at 11:54 PM

Pause

I did?
Sent at 11:55 PM

Yes.
Not that long ago
Sent at 11:55 PM

Sorry
I forget easily
I've been drinking
The bottleis so cold
I'd rather have somethingwarm
Almost like pie
But I don't like pie
I can't keep it down
Maybe coffee
Sent at 11:55 PM

Are you okay?
Sent at 11:55 PM

No
Of course not
Sent at 11:55 PM

Where are you right now?
Sent at 11:55 PM

Kenny hoped that he could get him some help before it would be too late. Maybe call someone, hopefully an ambulance, to the location.

My safe space
Sent at 11:57 PM

What?
Where's that?
Sent at 11:57 PM

I can't tell you
Then it wouldn't be safe anymore
Nobody should know
Sent at 11:58 PM

You can tell me
Sent at 11:58 PM

heyhey
You aren't trying to find out where i am
So you can send help

Are you?
Sent at 11:58 PM

A pause.

That would be smart.
I'm trying to remember my addressbut its not coming to mind
Sent at 11:59 PM

What city are you in?
Sent at 11:59 PM

No response

Are you okay?
Sent at 12:06 AM

Sorry I blacked out for a minute there
Whatwere you sayin
g
Oh wait i can just scroll up
Too many texts
So much white
I should change my background before i die
It'll look nicer
Sent at 12:08 AM

Why do you want to die?
Sent at 12:08 AM

Why not
I'm tired
I'm alone
Everyone would be glad
Relieved
If they noticed
They could stop
pretending
They don't have to deal with me
Sent at 12:10 AM

Hey
Sent at 12:11 AM

I'm not supposed
To say that
am I?
I don't know you
You don't know me
I hear that first impressions are important
Am I making a bad impression?
Oh whatever
I'm dying anyway
Sent at 12:11 AM

I want to know about your city
Sent at 12:12 AM

What about it
Its like any other city
Sortof
Town might be more accurate
Or not
Towns have close-knit communities, right?
I've never been close to anyone around me
Well Ihave
Not anymore
He hates me
They all do
Everyone hates me
Nobody knows
where I am
Not even my parents
Not even me
Oh god
Sent at 12:14 AM

What do your surroundings look like
Sent at 12:14 AM

Ican'tbreathe
Help me
Help me
Help
Sent at 12:14 AM

Where are you?
Sent at 12:14 AM

I don't
I can't
breathe
Help me
Please
Help
Help
Sent at 12:15 AM

Kenny called him.

"Hello?" He asked hesitantly.

On the other end, he could hear him. He sounded like he was choking on something, and actually couldn't breathe.

"I'm sorry.." The voice whispered between breaths, "I'm-"

He hung up.

Kenny tried to call him back. Once, twice...

He jumped at the next text notification.

DONT
stop
I'm OK
I just
Threw up
I can breathe again
I'm OK
Sent at 12:27 AM

Where are you?
Call me
Sent at 12:27 AM

Why
People keep telling me that I sound younger on
the phone
I'm not
And my throat kind of hurts
Sent at 12:28 AM

Call me
And don't hang up
Sent at 12:28 AM

As soon as other picked up, Kenny gave him a whole load of questions before he could even say hi

"Where are you? Are you okay? How is your breathing?"

"Stop." He warned.

There was a pause. Kenny winced when he heard him making a noise that sounded too close to vomiting.

"Sorry."

"No I'm... sorry." he coughed.

"Are you safe right now?"

"I'm leaning.. over a bridge... I should move..."

"Yes, please."

He could hear his footsteps echo around the area as if he were stomping or jumping on the pavement, but he tried filling the silence with talking.

"I can't believe I'm throwing this much... up. I don't remember... Eating this much today."

"That's not good." Kenny winced, "I'm sorry, I'm not good at this. I'm just trying to make sure you'll be okay until you're.. uh..."

"Sober?"

"Well-rested, at the least?"

A pause. And then, a sigh.

"You'd be the first."

"Hey, dude, talk to me."

"What?"

"Tell me what's going on."

"Why?"

"You called me while I was trying to sleep, and now I'm concerned about you and your wellbeing."

"You don't even know my name."

Right.

"Good point. My name is Kenny. What's yours?"

"You can't just do that!"

"Do what?"

"Talk as if we've known each other our whole lives! You could be a... pedophile! I could be a criminal!" He sputtered, "We've only just met, and... we don't know a thing about each other."

"Well... are you a criminal?"

Pause.

"I'm not of legal drinking age, and I'm... I'm not exactly sober."

"Do you jaywalk, too?" Kenny let out a long sigh, "That's basically the worst crimes you could commit. I'm surprised you're not calling me from jail right now."

Though Kenny tried his best to joke around, lighten the mood, his stomach churned at his words. Someone, a teen his age or an actual child, was drinking to the point of getting drunk. It got worse when he realized that this same person, child or young adult, was also trying to contact the suicide hotline in the middle of god fuck nowhere.

Thankfully, his sentence made the other snort, and laugh a little.

"Stan."

"What?"

"That's my name, it's... Stanley. No- no wait. Don't call me that. It's just Stan."

"Okay, Stan. Lay it on me, what's going on?"

He sighed.

"It's stupid."

"Come on, you can tell me." he pressed

Pause.

"I think I'm... going crazy."

"How so?"

"You know-" Sigh, "you know how when you were a kid, you'd wake up on Christmas morning and feel overjoyed at the sight of gifts?"

"My family doesn't celebrate Christmas."

He bit his lip anxiously. Maybe he shouldn't have said that.

"Have you had anything to look forward to?"

"Yeah?"

"The last time I felt that sort of happiness was when I was done with middle school. I... I don't know what happened. My mom said that all kids usually went through the same thing, but... I just lost interest in... everything. While the other kids gradually grew into that mindset, and I.. I was just dropped into it. There was no meaning behind it. One day I was having the time of my life, and the next I... felt like someone had just dropped a bag of bricks on me."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"I tried telling my friends... but they didn't help. At all. I was honest every time I felt down, and they hated it. They didn't like being around me because I bummed them out- like I was the one that chose to feel like it. Like I had agreed to give up my happiness. My girlfriend broke up with me the day after... Then my dog got sick and passed away when I needed him most... and since then I've just felt sick. Alone. I felt uncomfortable talking to my parents about it... My sister hates me beyond belief... My friends have all left me because they know I'm unfixable. I just felt exhausted with everyone just hating me... And now I just... Thought about taking the easy way out."

"I'm glad you second-guessed your decision, Stan." He muttered honestly.

"I called the... the hotline. I've always had that thought, y' know... What if I just ended it? And the more people hated me, the more I... questioned it. Why continue? How do you go on when nothing makes you happy?"

That one hit hard. Kenny waited quietly, hoping that he'd continue.

"And... and that's it. I've just lost interest. It's stupid... I should stop drinking while contemplating my well being."

"How are you now?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I guess..?"

"Do you still want to die?"

Pause.

"No."

Kenny sighed in relief.

"Do you feel better?"

"No. I mean, yeah, the talk helped... but I still feel terrible."

"How much have you been drinking?"

"A lot..."

Kenny rubbed his temple in frustration.

"You should go home. We can talk again tomorrow."

"I don't know how to get home."

"Can you tell me where you are right now?"

"No. I don't remember... Everything's really blurry..."

"I'm not hanging up until I know that you're in a safe place to sleep for the night."

Pause.

"Hey, Kenny?"

"Yeah? What's wrong?"

Stan had let out a satisfied sigh.

"Thank you."