Gareth watches me expectantly as I grab my chopsticks. The sushi is ready, and it's time to try it and give my verdict. I think he is nervous, and maybe this makes me a horrible person, but I drag the situation, making him even more nervous.

"Itadakimasu," I say and Gareth's brows furrow a bit. "It means thank you for the food," I explain and he nods. I finally grab one of the pieces and give it a slow, hesitant bite, just to torture him a little bit more. "It's good," I finally compliment after I swallow the bite of sushi, giving him my best smile. "Not the best I've tried and it's not professional, but it's really good."

"Really?" asks the actor, his eyebrows raised in an expectant expression.

"Yes. You did well!" I celebrate him, clapping softly and keeping my smile. "Rest assured, you won't be eliminated from this round."

He chuckles before trying to grab a piece with his chopsticks, and if for me it's the most normal thing and don't even have to think about it, Gareth seems utterly concentrated, trying this best to keep the piece of sushi between the chopsticks, and when he tries to bite it, half of it falls to the table. I just stare at him, my hand in the air holding my own set of chopsticks.

"I don't have that talent," confesses the boy, blushing slightly and the sight makes my heart flutter. "I normally just grab them with my fingers but in front of you I wanted to... well... yeah..."

"Okay, let's try this. I'll help you," I offer, standing up and going to his side. "The chopstick at the bottom needs to be fixed. You don't move that one, okay? Between your thumb and your middle finger. That's how I hold it, it can vary though." I grab his hand and help him hold the chopstick, very concentrated on the task. "The other one grab it how you grab a pencil and that's the one you move. Now, try to always grab them from the very top of the chopsticks as that gives you a better arc to grab food and control the pressure. Then you just need to practise. Try now," I will him, just now turning to meet his face to find him looking at me instead of his own hand with the chopsticks.

My heart skips a beat and a lump appears in my throat, I can't even take a breath, realising how close we are, considering I'm leaning next to him. Now my heart races, hammering against my ribcage, and I'm afraid he can hear it because it's definitely loud, it's resonating in my ears. Or that might be my own pulse there. He doesn't even look away, his eyes locked with mine, breathing carefully. We are so close I can almost feel the air escaping from his slightly parted lips, brushing my own skin.

A sudden noise startles me, making me stand straight in one fluid motion, my eyes darting to the source of the noise just to find the chopsticks he was holding on the table. He dropped them. And I'm shaking inside and outside, my breathing quick and heavy so I hurry to go back to my side before he notices that. When I'm back on my seat and look up with meet his eyes I can see his cheeks blushed, probably as much as mine, so I press my lips in a tight line.

"Y-you just—just have to keep practising," I speak, my voice breaking at some point. I can't believe I'm this nervous. "My Grandma made me move beans from one bowl to another to master the technique. I play that with Cece and Pete. I always win," I tell him, trying to sound cheerful and as if nothing happened.

"Pete?" Gareth asks, his voice sounds also a bit higher than normal.

"Oh, Cece's boyfriend. I met him a while ago. Both are so fun to hang out with," I explain and he nods, but his expression is still tense.

"You hang out with them? Like, outside set?"

"Oh yeah, every time we get a chance. They normally invite me over for dinner. Mum keeps begging me to bring them home," I reply casually, finding comfort in talking about something so familiar and safe.

"Oh," Gareth murmurs. His reaction confuses me, but I don't ask him if somethings is wrong. He tries to grab another piece, using the new knowledge I've given him and seeming to have a better hold of the piece, but after he bites it this still falls. "I'm hopeless," he says and now I'm the one chuckling.

"Practice makes perfect, don't worry." I smile at him and he returns the gesture before we keep eating.

For the rest of the evening we keep a casual conversation that ends up in how fast time has passed and how we are close to finish the shooting. Soon we'll enter the post-production stage and I'm very excited about this, also terrified.

"You'll do great. Or at the very least, you'll do your best," he reassures me and I smile, feeling grateful that I have few people who actually believe in me. I wish I had that confidence myself, though. Hopefully, one day I'll be able to be certain of my own skills.

⋙⋘

A few days later on set, something I never expected happens. Drew, Gareth's manager, comes rushing to the actor's side, who is about to shoot his next scene. I don't know what he tells him but Gareth expression changes completely, from the very impassive mask he was wearing, everyone could read the surprise and delight that now sparkle in his eyes. Whatever he was told it must be a good news. I notice he's about to rush outside, but Jerry shouts his name, reminding the actor he has work to do. If Gareth wasn't as professional as he is I'm sure he would totally flip the director off and run wherever he wants to go, instead he just tells something to his manager and goes to scene.

Confused, I watch around, trying to understand what's going on. I even follow Gareth's manager with my eyes but he disappears. I have to shrug my curiosity and focus on what I came to the set for, which is to supervise the progress of the production. I get even more impressed when I see Gareth acting the part so well, even if he was so anxious before. I'm sure his mind must be still on whatever his manager told him, but he is still able to become Sasha and leave everything else behind.

At some point, someone taps my shoulder and I have to take my eyes off of the scene being shot. I turn around to find Drew and a woman standing by his side. She must be around my Mum's age, maybe a bit older, with raven black hair, warm brown eyes and wide smile that show not only a radiant personality but deep laughter lines that talk about a happy person, optimistic and bright.

I bow my head immediately in a greeting, my natural instinct with any older person, a sign of respect. "Miss Tachibana, this is Joan Maddox, Gareth's mother. She came to see Gareth and offer her greetings to the cast, but he's busy. He told me to leave her with you while he's busy shooting. He'll join you once he's free."

My eyes widen in surprise and my whole body tenses in expectation and anxiety. Gareth's mother smiles brighter, holding up her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Ann, right? You're the producer, aren't you?" she asks as I shake her hand. "Drew was explaining that to me."

"Yes, I'm Ann Tachibana. Nice to meet you..." I leave the sentence hanging because I'm not sure how to address her. I can't call her Mrs Maddox because for what Gareth's has told me, she's never married. Can I just call her Miss Maddox?

"Please, just call me Joan. Gareth has told me a lot about you, the young producer," she comments, making my eyes widen even more.

"I'll leave her with you, Miss Tachibana. I need to take care of some calls," Gareth's manager speaks before I can reply. Both Joan and I nod our heads in understanding and he leaves us.

"I hope you're not worried I'm the one in charge," I say, but in my head the proper adjective is disappointed.

"Oh, not at all. I trust Gareth and he says you're working harder than any other producer he's met, which is so remarkable for a young lady like you," she compliments and I think I'm blushing.

"Would you like to get something to drink or anything? After this shoot I can introduce you to the director or anyone else you'd like to greet," I offer but Joan shakes her head.

"Oh no, I'd rather not meet the director. Gareth doesn't like him and although my son can hold his tongue quite well, I'm not like that. I could end up causing trouble," Joan confesses in a secretive tone, leaning a bit closer, but the smile on her lips tells me she's just joking.

"I wouldn't blame you," I joke along. "Let's go to the refreshments table. It's a good place to wait for Gareth."

She just nods and follows me. Once there I offer her a drink and a plate with a few things for her. She asks me a lot about me and how I'm doing with all this responsibility. She asks me whether I chose this or was forced, if I'm enjoying it and even if I'm planning on keep doing this.

"It's a family business, so it was always implicit I would have to end up taking care of the company. I never thought I would have to do that so young, but I'm enjoying it. I still have so much to learn, but I would really dedicate myself to this," I explain. Joan listens carefully. "That if I don't ruin all this."

"Oh, I doubt you will. Being new at something doesn't mean you're bad at it, it just means you have to work twice as hard because you need to learn at the same time you work to make it," she encourages me and I smile brightly. "Besides, young people have a spirit that people who've been doing the same for long have lost, so it's always good to have them around, I believe."

As I look at her I realise why Gareth loves this woman so much and works so hard to give her the best life he can. She's kind and wise, warm and inviting. She has this strong mother aura that makes it so easy to be around.

"Mum!" someone calls. Both Joan and I turn in the voice's direction just to find Gareth rushing towards us. His smile is wide and he's only focused on Joan who stands straighter, with her widest smile. When he stops in front of her she doesn't wait, she just wraps her arms around him and hugs him very tight. I'm surprised to see such display, especially because he doesn't even struggle to let go, he hugs her back.

"My boy, how are you doing? Are you mad I came to see you?" Joan asks and Gareth shakes his head.

"Not at all. I'm glad you're here. I haven't seen you in a while," he replies happily. "How have you been? Have you been taking care of your health?"

"Yes, everything is great. I just missed you, that's all. And I wanted to meet the people you work with," she replies.

I can't stop my smile as I watch them interact. I see a side of Gareth I never saw before, a loving, sweet and caring side. I mean, I knew he was like that, but now I'm actually seeing him, showing all his love and gratitude without trying to hide it. It makes my heart ache in a different way, feeling envious of this woman who has all Gareth's love and devotion. I know it's absurd I feel like this because she's his mother, but I just wish he'd look at me with a bit of that love.

We are friends and we get along great, but he doesn't let go of all his walls when we are together, he still keeps some between us, stopping me from truly seeing him.

I wish he'd smile that bright to me, that he'd hug me tight like he just did with Joan. But those things will never happen, I'll never experience on my own this loving side of his. He doesn't want to like me back and he doesn't even have the time for it. He's working his hardest to give back to the woman who gave him his life and has sacrificed so much for him. Romance is a distraction, I agree on that. I have to be satisfied with just being friends and living this one-side love on my own. It's not that terrible fate, is it?

⋙⋘

Hello! Did you like this chapter? We got to meet Gareth's mum! There's a picture of her (how I see her at least) on the multimedia.

Regarding the next book, it has title already! It's called "Blanca Like Snow" (BLS for short) and yes, it is based on Snow White, and if you visit my tumblr you can read the synopsis and see the cover ;) Now, if you do your best to share this story and go back voting for all the chapters you haven't, I promise to post the PROLOGUE of BLS by next week! Would you like that? 

I just feel IJA is very neglected compared to every other book, even compared to the other book I'm currently working on (Unseen), and even if I feel a bit bad about asking this, I'd like for this baby to do a bit better. I hope you don't think me shallow for this. You know I see my books like my own children and I don't like seeing one left behind. So if you can help promote the book I'd be eternally grateful and I'd reward you with the prologue of the next book.

Please, let me know if you help, okay? And I'm sorry for asking, if you don't want to, you don't have to, okay? Don't feel pushed in any way.

Dedication to _tislife 

Bel, xx

NU: Tuesday