I want to thank everyone who reads this.. I hope you enjoy--- This book is dedicated to Autumn, and Tyler who seem to go through the same life problems, and I hope they read, and enjoy as well. To everyone who has to go through this, thank you. Thank you to the amazing, strong survivors out there who never give up, even if it is hard------------------I cannot say their full names due to exposure, which in my opinion is not polite-- ENJOY:)

I press the cold, hard blade swiftly against my thigh, writhing in the feeling, it feels warm, and comforting. The blood intrigues me, I feel as though that I could bathe in it, warmth trickles slowly down the side of my leg, and drips onto the also cold, hard floor. Standing up, I wipe the blood from my leg, and move in my beds direction. I slide down the side of my bedspread, and let out a broken sigh. "Why would I do this to myself? Let my life waste away, into my already broken heart? My broken body?" It is because of one reason. It is the only satisfying thing that I can do. I have already been broken like a toy, even used AS a toy.

          What else am I supposed to do anyway? Just sit around in this pigsty of a place and just feel sorry for myself? That is the last thing I want to do. Feel sorry for myself. Heh. Hell no. I will have to cut every inch of my leg until it was nothing but a skinless piece of flesh, bleeding and bleeding until the day that I die. That is what I would do to make up for this grimace, shitty, so called "Life". Yep. That's exactly the way that I am going describe it. I think to myself for a while, pondering all of the things that could have gone decently less wrong in my life.... Everything. I don't even have to really ponder it over and over again until my brain hurts, it is just obvious that everything could have gone better for me, and I already hurt anyway. I'm only seventeen after all.

          I stand up, my skin tainted with the blood that comforts me, my only sanctuary. I go into my bathroom and just sit inside of the bathtub. I take off my bra and underwear. I toss them onto the ground on the black and white tile floor. I close my shower curtain and turn on the water, all the way to maximum heat. I don't care though. I stand up and bask in the water, it caresses my body in a way that turns me on. But I ignore it, and just let it fall and cover me, I burn. I feel as though I have just been set on fire. It is filling me with adrenaline. It dominates me, and for the first time in a long time, the hope that is hidden deep inside of me, burrows it's way out. It is small, but reassures me a little. I sit down on the shower floor, and see a scar on my foot, it was a bullet scar. I frowned. But I continue to ignore it. All I will allow myself to do, is feel the water, it is the only thing that hasn't broken me.