(Just so you know, this goes up to FNaF 1, 2, 3, AND 4, so let's start at the beginning, shall we? Btw I'm terrible at writing fanfictions, don't be surprised it isn't what you expected.)

Mike sat in the chair, tapping his fingers on the desk. "Alright, first day on the job, let's have a look here...." He grabbed his tablet and looked through each one, disgust filled him. "These are fucking creepy, who the fuck kind of child would love these things???" The phone rang, he looked at it and picked it up. "Hello? Who the fuck is this?" (Btw this will be long) "

ello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?

Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."

Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay.

So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?

Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.

Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night. "

It sent a shiver down Mike's back, "WAIT- NO- WHAT?!" he looked through the tablet and they started to move all on their own. "SCREEEEEEEEEEE!" Mike screamed really loud and threw the tablet at whatever was screeching. What appeared to be a man, stood there, then fell back on the ground. He almost has a heart attack. "YOU DICK WHAT THE FUCK- WHO IN THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Mike questioned. The Blondie man stood up, wiping the blood from his head. "Oh golly, that hurt.... I deserved it..." "You bet your ass you deserved it!" The man chuckled and picked up the tablet. "Not cracked or anything..." he placed it on the desk. "WHO. THE FUCK. ARE YOU?" "Me? Sorry about that, heh, comedy. ANYWAY, my name is Chris, I'm working with you tonight, I will be your partner and help you along side!" He sat down in an empty chair by him, he had black high-heel boots on. And mascara. "......are you feminine or something? Or is this a beauty contest?" Chris started to giggle. "I like you, you're funny."

Mike started to curse under his breath. "I'm a real comedian." He looked through the table, mouth opened a bit. "Shit, uh, where the fuck is the rabbit?" He looked through the cameras. Chris stared at him. "You know how things work around here, right?" "Nu-uh barely paid attention to the lame-ass phone dude." Chris blinked a couple times, then sighed. "It's gonna be a long shift.... tell me, what's your name?" "Mike. Mike Schmidt.""Okay Mikey-" "Call me that again and I'll cut your throat." Chris' eyes widened a bit. "Sorry, Mike.... uh, if the animatronics get too close to you, you have to press that button right there," he pointed to the button by the door. "Or if you don't feel safe. But don't keep it closed for too long, you can run out of power, which is bad. You have to check each room once in a while." "No shit about the rooms." "You're a foul mouth..." "And you're the most gayest person I've ever seen on this planet."

Chris sighed and grabbed the tablet. "If you start seeing illusions, they can harm you, too." "Oh fucking great." He gave him the tablet back. "I don't need you to baby me." "Well, you have to know the ropes." "Where the fuck is the fox." "Oh shit, uh, close that door!" Mike pressed the button and Foxy started to slam his fists on the door. "OH SHIT, WHAT IS THAT THING?!" "He's trying to shove you in a suit." "I KNOW THAT!!!" Mike started to panic. "HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING ME AGAIN?!" "Umm............." ".....they ain't giving me much are they? I forgot about that NOW I WANT TO GET THE FUCK OUT!" Chris bit his lip. "That isn't a very good idea...." "Why not?!" "........some say.......... who quit........... never get out...........or come back........." Mike froze. "Wait, so, like, kill me?" "I believe so, but I didn't tell you anything, got it?" Mike stared at him, slowly nodding his head. "This is fucking insane....." He looked at the clock, 3:00 a.m. "Oh yes come one three more hours....... wait we've been here for that long? It seems like about seven minutes I'm not so sure." "Time's funny like that." "Anyway, the fuck is with the boots?"

"Oh, these? They were on sale....." "................." Mike just............ "Okay..........." Didn't know anymore.....

*Hours passed

*Of pure terror

*And almost death experiences

The clock went off, 6:00 a.m

"OH YES BABY YEAH!" Mike shouted. "BEATT THAT YOU FURRY BASTARDS!!!!" Chris clapped and smiled. "Congrats, you made it!" "Hell yeah I did! Anyway, I don't want to be here any longer, I'm getting the fuck out of here. See ya', Blondie!" He ran out. Chris sighed and picked up the tablet. "What an adventure....."