" Is it too much?" I asked

"Wow, what have you been doing in Seattle, you look fucking amazing, turn around let me see"

stepping away from the tripod holding my phone I made a complete turn so Krystal could see every detail of the black and white fitted off-the-shoulder midi dress.

I crossed my legs so Krystal could see my Jimmy Choo Love 100, my favorite pair of black pumps the almost four-inch heel added height to my 5'3 making my legs longer, and added va va voom to the dress.

"I love your wrap" Krystal gave me a genuine smile. I began covering my hair before moving to Seattle, it was now a part of my signature style. Tonight I wrapped my hair in black silk that I styled into a bun at my lower neck, very simple but elegant.

"What are you doing for accessories"

I held up my Angara ruby inside-out hoop earrings, like the shoes they were remnants of my old life.

"There isn't any reason to be nervous Jai."

"I'm not nervous" My chuckle isn't convincing

"You tend to wear those earrings when you are dealing with major shit"

Krystal was right as I thought about the last time I wore them.

"No worries I am good just thought they give a little pop to the outfit"

"Well Sunshine you look beautiful and happy, have fun, and call me tomorrow with the details." Krystal blew a kiss and ended our Facetime.

This never gets any easier you would think I would be used to this since it always happens.

I keep my smile confident and casual as I follow the hostess through the restaurant, I notice the looks the women don't try to hide.

The men well, men aren't that good at not being disrespectful and will stop mid-sentence to check out ass and tits.

Usually, for a first date, I wouldn't glam it up but Canlis isn't your everyday bar and grill it's white tablecloths and romantic view fine dining. 

I called Krystal to confirm my dress would be appropriate yet represent me and she approved so they can keep looking.

A smile brighter than mine greets me as Kaleb stands up from the table to greet me. Oh boy, I'm in trouble, trouble, trouble! Kaleb maintained eye contact and I was lost until I felt the softest kiss on my cheek and a warm hand on my arm.

A sweet earthy scent tickled my nose, invoking the vision of me kissing his neck...whoa. Stop It.

"You're more beautiful in person."

"Thank you, you're looking photoshoot ready yourself," I responded because damn he was killing it in a fitted black suit and white buttoned-down. The shirt was unbuttoned enough that the vision came back.

"I hope you don't mind but dinner tonight is omakase-style" Kaleb waited for my response.

"That's fine I hear the Chef is amazing"

The Chef didn't disappoint as we were served several signature dishes. The wine paired perfectly providing an exceptional culinary experience. Our conversation was friendly during dinner we discussed the music we liked, what were our favorite movies and why I was obsessed with tacos and Kaleb admitted he was too.

Although it was superficial, I could do this again but I want to get to know him.

"Sunshine are you ready for a real conversation?" he asked with a sexy smile. I look at him to make sure that isn't code for am I ready to fuck. Which I am but I am not going to let it go there yet.

The sound of a deep masculine laugh brings me out of my thoughts. His eyes convey his sincerity.

"I'd like to take you somewhere we can talk "

"Sure where are we going?" He will never know how agreeing to this pushes me to cross my boundaries.

"We're not far from the boardwalk, I can drive or if it makes you more comfortable we can catch an Uber?"

I love that he is providing options, I am not afraid but the smart and responsible thing is to drive myself, and I am not, the next responsible option would be Uber.

"Sure let's catch an Uber."

Twenty minutes later we are on the boardwalk sitting on a bench drinking coffee swathed in the luminous lights from the Ferris Wheel.

There is a comfortable amount of people around, I feel safe but there is enough privacy to have a real conversation without strangers being privy to our secrets.

Kaleb

I arrived at the restaurant about twenty minutes early, I wanted to watch her walk in and see her expression when she saw me. The ambiance was perfect. The view of the bay from our table steller.

My thoughts wandered watching the water move gently while I tried to remember the last time I went on a date. I heard a guy say "Wow" and I looked up to see what was Wow worthy.

A vision indeed I saw her smile first and she was confident, everything about her was stunning, her eyes, her lips, oh god, her red lips.

My eyes moved down her svelte frame, bare shoulders, and smooth skin, I followed the curves of her body that led to shapely legs and the heels that I think would qualify for "fuck me heels" I adjusted myself and stood to welcome her. When our eyes met it was confirmation, she was IT.

The time went by and now here we are sitting on a bench sipping lattes. We are sitting close but not touching, this would be so much easier if I could wrap my arm around her and caress her shoulders.

If we were close enough that our legs touched or better yet, her sitting in my lap would be - I know we needed to have a conversation, hopefully opening the door to my past will lead to more dates and more conversations. No risk, no gains.

"So, what would you like to know?"

"Why, black women?" her eyes let me know this was a conversation and not an inquisition. Sunshine's vibe remained the same and her voice was soft, my defenses didn't go up, I'll take it as a good sign.

"My brothers are married to two of the kindest, loving, beautiful, sweet women that I have ever met. And I want the same in my life, they just also happen to be black."

"And you think the love and kindness comes from them being black?"

"No, but those are the women I have had the most interactions with but this will make more sense if I tell you the whole story."

"Go ahead I am not going anywhere" Turning and placing her arm on the back of the bench, she got comfortable, the story was long so I did the same.

I am going to tell her everything, after so many years the memories don't send me to a dark place. The feelings of worthlessness that come from being abandoned left me long ago, for Sunshine to understand me she has to know the person I was before and who I am now.

"I don't really know where to begin." absentmindedly I run my finger over her hand.

"I'm not in a rush, start at the beginning" her eyes are sincere. She will be the first person outside of my family that knows my story.

"Okay, but let me preference this  by saying I've never shared this so if it's too much stop me" I smile at her to lighten the mood. She nods and gives me an encouraging smile. How the hell is she single? My mind veers off track. Collecting my thoughts I inhale courage so I can share the truth.