AN- This story was actually the first story I even wrote for the Hermitcraft fandom.

TW- Mentions minor self-harm and blood.

I stare at the plain paper in front of me. Ink dripping from my pen. Ink stains on the desk still evident from my previous attempts. I glance beside me where a small pill of balled up paper was building up. I glance at my phone. 3:27. I have been up nearly all night but still my brain won't slow down and my heart. Oh, my heart. It feels like it's bleeding and I think I'll be dead soon. But it never happens. The pain just stays. Breathing is torture. Moving is terrifying. I drop my pen. Ink splashing on the paper where a couple words sit. 'Mumbo- I love you.' My head drops between my hands as I shake. Sobs hitch in my throat and I bring my knees up onto the chair and slowly rock back and forth. My right hand reaching forward and I feel the paper crumple in until my palm. Ink and tears soaking the desk and my hand as I ball it together. Pain shooting through my fingers and I look up as blood, from a small cut, mingles with the black ink. It's a distracting feeling and take the paper edge and drag it across my palm. Tingling at the paper cut as it pulls me from the pain inside. I toss the ball into the pile and clench my hand to prevent my bleeding. All energy gone, I simple curl up in my chair to sleep.

-a couple days later-

I'm exhausted. I haven't slept. I haven't eaten. I barely have the energy to drink water. Curled in my bed, sobs still escaping my lips. I feel a gentle squeeze on my shoulder and smile weakly up at Stress and Iskall. "We brought some food Grian," Stress murmurs and when she sees me shake my head continues, "You need to eat something."

I look up, my eyes probably red and my face tear stained. Stress shoos out Iskall to kneel beside me alone. "Love. Please tell us what's wrong. We're worried about you and want to help." I weakly look up at her brown eyes. "I- I... Mumbo..." Is the only thing to escape my lips. Stress smiles, tells me to eat and that she'll be back. As she lightly kisses my forehead I curl up tighter. When she walks out the door I hear her say, "Iskall. Do you know where mumbo is? We need him" and I croak out a "No... no" but they'd already shut the door.

Mumbo POV-

I had just retired to my home after a busy day of building when I heard rockets and the whistle of elytras. Looking out my window I could see Stress and Iskall walking towards me. Stress looked like she'd been crying and Iskall looked worried. I rushed out to meet them, not caring that my normally pristine white shirt was still cover in redstone dust and concrete powder and my tie was a little loose, "oh my gosh guys. What's go.." "It's Grian." Stress interrupts me and I freeze in shock. My best friend and forbidden... nope not allowed to think that... has be missing for a couple days now and he hadn't responded to any messages I'd sent. I had just assumed he was busy building his new mansion because he often will just go nonstop but I had been more worried every day. The last time I'd seen him he couldn't look at me. Didn't talk to me. And all around just seemed to hate being with me. "Wha... what about Grian? Is he okay? Did he get hurt? Guys what happened!" I sputter our quickly, my mind racing at every possibility. Iskall simple shakes his head, "you should probably come see yourself."

With shaking hands, I fire a rocket and follow Iskall and Stress to Grian's home. When we land Stress opens the door and lets me in then closes it so it's just me in Grian's starter base. Grian's normally chaotic mess scattered in front of me. But there was no odd organization to the mess that he usually had. "Grian" I whisper. I repeat myself a little loud and hear a quiet sniffle in Grian's room. As I open the door a crack, I see the small form of Grian laid curled in his bed. As he looks up at me with his ocean blue eyes I see the redness of crying and the dark bags below his normally sparkling eyes.

"Mumbo. No. Leave." He gasps, fresh sobs wracking his small frame. Without thinking, my body on autopilot, I rush to his bed, wrapping me arms round him, "no. I'm not leaving. Not with you in this state". And as Grian rolls over to avoid me, I lie down beside him, tracing circles on his arm. He lets a light sigh out and he stops shaking. I pull him closer, noticing how much lighter he has got and I wonder if he's eaten anything lately, but that's not the most important thing right now. "Grian. I'll never leave you. You're my best friend..." I feel his body tense at this last line and I wonder that maybe? There's no way he'd feel the same. But my body was still on autopilot, "I'd never leave you Grian, cause I love you." I'd whispered this last part but I felt him relax and take a couple deep breaths. "Really Mumbo? I never thought... there's no way..." and as he rolls towards me under my embrace he says the words I dream of him saying, "I love you too". I smile and pull him closer towards me, feeling his breath on my chest as he falls asleep and I fall asleep soon after.

Bonus-

"Man, Mumbo sure is taking a long time. I hope nothing's wrong." Iskall says and he and Stress agree to go check on him and Grian. As they open the door to the two sleeping men, Stress smiles and lightly closes the door on the scene. Grian curled into Mumbo's chest and Mumbo wrapped protectively around him, a smile on both of their faces.