I sat in the waiting room for an hour, texting back-and-forth with my mom.

Cecilia: I'm not leaving until I know that Isaac is okay.
Mom: Just leave your phone number I'm sure they'll call you.
Cecilia: No mom I want to talk to him.
Mom: Cecilia you need to come home. Now.
Cecilia: No.

I set my phone to do not disturb and turned it off after that. I would probably get into a ton of trouble...but it was okay. This was for Isaac.

After another thirty minutes, the nurse spoke to me. "Honey, you should go home." She said. I looked at her and shook my head. "I can't go home. I need to know if he's okay."

"We can just call you, sweetheart."
"I need to hear it from him."
"Well, maybe we can have him call you."
"I need to do it face-to-face. In real life."

This seemed to stump the nurse. She shook her head hopelessly and turned her face back to her computer, where she began typing again.

I sighed and continued to watch the small TV hanging on the wall in the corner of the room. All that did was upset me more. I hate watching the news because it just reminds me what's wrong with the world. I prefer to live in blissful ignorance. All of the word about war, hate, and people just tearing each other apart for fun gets depressing after a while.

It makes me hate the world.

Though, at this point, I was so used to hating the world, this really wasn't phasing me as much as it should have been. 

I started bouncing my leg furiously, my head resting on my hand. 

Another twenty minutes passed. I was about to pull out my phone and look at the texts that I was sure my mother had sent me. However, as I reached into my pocket, the nurse spoke. 

"Honey, why don't I take you back there? Maybe the doctor just hasn't had a chance to let us know that he's alright."

I froze, my hand halfway into pocket. "I'm okay with that...it won't get you into trouble?" I added after a moment. The nurse shook her head, smiling at me. "It'll be alright." She assured me. "Now, if you'd care to follow me..."

I got out of my seat quickly. As I moved toward the nurse, a web of pain shot up my leg, ending at my hip. I paused for a moment and grabbed the first seat I could find, biting my lip. 

The nurse tilted her head at me, concerned. "Are you alright?" She asked. I looked at her, took a deep breath, and nodded. "It's just...a thing I have." I replied slowly.

"Have you gotten that 'thing' checked out?" She asked me, making air quotes around the word "thing". 

"Of course I have!"
"And what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing that I want to talk about, alright?"

The nurse gazed at me, her eyes calculating. After a minute or so, she nodded her head, turned, and walked away without another word. Taking that as my cue, I followed her.

We walked through a few halls, passing door after door. Everything looked the same to me. Truthfully, I wasn't sure how the nurse found her way around. 

I eventually lost track of where we were, and realized that this had probably been a bad idea. How was I supposed to find my way out? Or, more importantly, what if the nurse was trying to lead me to some sort of examination room so she could look at my hip?

I cringed at the very thought of it. She would be confused. She would find nothing wrong with it. 

"Here we are!" The nurse announced abruptly. I almost ran right into her as she stopped in front of a door that looked just like the rest of them. She knocked three times on the door.

"Come in." A weak voice said from inside. My heart did a somersault in my chest. 

He was okay.

The nurse opened the door and let me in, her dark brown eyes still holding their calculating look. Her gaze followed me as I timidly stepped into the room. 

"Hey," Isaac said, his voice hoarse. I winced a bit and walked up to his bed, kneeling down so my face was level with his. "Hey," I said quietly, brushing some stray hairs out of his face. He smiled a bit, and then grimaced, as if smiling hurt. 

"How're you feeling?" I asked. Each word seemed to stick in my throat. The awkwardness levels in the room were high, though I wasn't sure why. 

"Besides the near death experience?" Isaac began. "Besides the suicidal craze that's still eating away at my brain? Oh I'm just great." 

"Glad to see you've kept your sarcasm." I said with a halfhearted laugh. 

Isaac sat up a little in his bed. I cringed when I saw the layers of bandages that had been plastered all over his body. 

And to think he did all of it to himself. 

It hurt me just to think about it. I didn't want Isaac to hurt himself like that. 

Isaac must have seen something change in my eyes. He reached out a scarred hand and touched my arm, shaking from the effort of the small movement. "Listen, Cecilia." He said quietly. "I want to say something to you. And I need to say it now...while I've worked up the courage."

I nodded once, my heart jumping into my throat. 

"Listen, I know that I...Cecilia I don't know if I want to keep doing this, alright? I don't know if I want to keep fighting. I'm so scared, I'm scared of everything. I don't want to...I'm not brave enough. I have so many fears, Cecilia. So many fears that I feel like are drowning me. And...and..."

I held up a hand, trying to hold back my own tears. 

"Stop worrying about your fears, Isaac. You're acting like you're not brave at all."

"Because I'm not brave. I have so many fears!"

"Isaac,"

I held his hand and moved a little closer to him. I could feel my own heartbeat in my wrists. I hoped he couldn't feel it too.

"You don't have to be fearless to be brave. You have to be brave to be fearless."