As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, it became harder and harder to not fall in love with Lucas. Since I loved everything about him (yes, even his imperfections,) it was nearly impossible not fall head over heels over him. Everything from his short dirty blonde hair to his talent in the art of filmmaking made me swoon, and I just wanted him to be mine, though I knew that he couldn't be. I just had the feeling that he didn't feel the same way that I felt for him. Also, it didn't help that I had this nagging fear of rejection. I was so terrified of confessing my feelings to Lucas and having him tell me that he doesn't feel the same way, ruining our friendship as a result.

Another thing that didn't help was the fact that Lucas was deteriorating more and more every single day. He was eating less, sleeping less, and even getting out of bed less. He barely wanted to do anything anymore, so much so that he's been skipping class quite a lot.

*****

After I was done with my classes for the day, I made my way to Lucas's dorm and softly knocked on the door. I heard a, "Come in," that was just as soft in response.

When I stepped inside of the dorm and closed the door behind me, I was met with the sight of Lucas just lying on his bed and hugging his pillow. His lights were turned off so the only source of light in the room was the very little amount of sunlight that was trickling into the room. I sighed very quietly as I set all of my school stuff down by his desk and slowly approached him.

Once I was standing directly over at him, he looked up at me. I could see his bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks from a mile away.
"Have you just been laying there all day?" That was the only thing that I asked.
He hesitantly nodded.
"Is there anything that I can do for you in order to at least try and make you feel better?"
He nodded again.
"Okay, what would you like me to do?"
He sighed quietly. "I feel weird asking because we're friends and what I want to ask you to do isn't something that friends do."
For some reason, I felt my heart start to pound in my chest after he said this. "Just go ahead and say it. I'm sure that I'd be willing to do it."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he asked, "Would you be willing to cuddle with me? I feel like it would make me a feel bit better despite the fact that I usually dislike human interaction." He then quickly added, "But you don't have to if you don't want to or aren't comfortable with it! I wouldn't want you to feel pressured to do something that you didn't want to do."
"Yes, I would," I responded without even a moment's hesitation. My heart began pounding even more and the pounding began filling my ears.
"Really?" I could barely hear Lucas light up with excitement because of just how loud the pounding was. Thankfully, it died back down after a couple of moments.
"Yeah." I gave him a shy smile.
"Well, then, come here, I guess..." Lucas trailed off awkwardly, blushing slightly as he held his arms out towards me.
I happily accepted his offer and proceeded to lay down next to him. It took every ounce of my willpower to not kiss him right then and there, especially when I felt his arms wrap tightly around me. I smiled as I also wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him tightly as I did so.

*****

I lost track of the amount of time that Lucas and I spent in each other's arms, especially since I helped him through a panic attack that he had during that time.
"I have to get going." The words physically hurt me as I said them and I could actually feel my heart aching in pain.
"Please don't go," Lucas begged as he tightened his grip on me. "I don't want to go. I just want you to lay with me forever."
"I want to lay with you forever too, but I really have to go back to my dorm and get some rest," I replied sadly.
"Well, can you at least play a couple of songs on the keyboard so that I won't have trouble falling asleep?" He asked as he pouted.
"Of course." I smiled softly as I let go of him and slowly got off of his bed. I then walked over to the keyboard after stretching for a few moments and sat down (and also after turning on his lamp since the sun had gone down and made the room pitch black as a result.) After that, I turned on the keyboard and rested my fingers on the keys that I needed to start with before I began playing a classic that neither Lucas nor I ever grew tired of; Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.

*****

Lucas fell asleep after I played a couple of songs. When I knew that he was sound asleep, I turned the keyboard off and quietly walked over to him. I had to refrain from kissing him on the forehead, especially since he always looked so adorable when he slept. I settled with just quietly telling him to have sweet dreams and grabbed all of my school stuff before I turned the lamp off and left.

*****

Even though I would go to Lucas's dorm every single day and cuddle with him and attempt to make him happy again in every single way I could think of, he still continued to get worse. It was honestly getting to the point where I was going to force him to admit himself into hospital and get the help that he needed. However, before I had to force him to go given the state that was currently in, I had to actually call emergency services and get him an ambulance to take him to hospital because his life depended on it.

That day... That was such an awful day, and that was because that day... was the day that I almost lost my best friend.

~~~~~

"Wake up! Everybody, wake up! It's Christmas!"
It was two days later and it was in fact Christmas. Through my half awake and half asleep state, I heard Papa, a nearly forty-year-old man, running around the house trying to wake everyone up so that we could open presents.
"What the hell is all the yelling about?" Lucas groaned as he slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
"It's Christmas," I replied as I sat up as well. "And Papa is very excited about it, hence why he's currently running around the house and telling everyone about it."
"That's fine, I suppose, but does he really have to do it so damn early?" Lucas groaned again as he rested his head back down on his pillow.
"Yes, yes, he does." I simply said as I forced myself to get out of bed and make my way downstairs.

*****

"Good! You're all here!" Papa was way too giddy given the fact that it was only seven in the morning. "Now it's time to find you what Santa got you for Christmas!" He then proceeded to give each and every one of us a present.
"By the way, Lucas, that gift's from both Dan and me," Papa said to the dirty blond haired boy with a smile.
"You got me a present?" He asked as he stared at the box he had just been given in complete shock. The very small box, mind you. "Thank you so much. But now I feel bad because I didn't get you guys anything."
"Don't worry about it." Papa continued to smile. "We never expected anything in return."
"Well, still, thank you," Lucas said again with hints of a smile on his face as he continued to look down at the box.
"What are you all waiting for?" Papa asked impatiently. "Open your presents!"
A moment later, the sounds of wrapping paper being torn and thrown to the side filled the room.

After spending a couple of moments tearing away the wrapping paper and opening the box, I saw what my present was; a box filled to the brim with stuffed animals. Now, pretty much any other twenty year old would've hated getting this, but not me. In fact, I absolutely adored it since I have always, still do, and probably will always love stuffed animals. They've helped me through quite a lot over the years. They've helped me through the nightmares that plagued my childhood (before Dad and Papa came into the picture, at least) and through being so far away from Dad and Papa for the first time last school year. They've also helped me through the now rare episodes of anxiety that I had and the sporadic episodes of really missing Dad and Papa that I had.
"Thank you, Dad. Thank you, Papa." I said to my beloved dads as I pulled out a couple of the stuffed animals and started cuddling with them. "I really love what you got me."
"Wonderful," Papa replied as his smile somehow managed to get even bigger. "Dad and I thought that that would be the perfect gift, and it turns out that we were right."
"Papa, you need a gift to open up." I put the two stuffed animals that I had gotten out of the box down, went over to the Christmas tree, and pulled out the gift that I had gotten him. I then walked over to where he was and handed it to him.
"Oh, I'm so excited!" He cried out as he immediately began tearing into the gift. He gasped when he saw what it was.
"Is this what I think it is?" Papa stared at the kit in wonder.
"A grow your own Christmas tree kit?" I replied and then added, "Why, yes, yes it is."
"I love it." Papa grinned as he pulled him into a hug. "I really do. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome." I grinned and hugged him back. I then looked over at Dad and said, "And it's your turn to open up your gift."
"What is it?"
I didn't answer his question as I went back over to the Christmas tree and retrieved his gift. I then slid it over to him since it was really heavy and I didn't really feel like carrying it over to him. I placed the second part of his gift down next to the large box and instructed him to open the bigger portion first.
"I wonder what it is..." Dad wondered aloud as he began opening it. A couple of moments later, his eyes widened with excitement as he gasped and covered his mouth.
"Is that..." He trailed off as he jumped up and down on the couch excitedly. "Is that a record player?"
I smiled brightly and nodded as I handed him the other part of his gift. "This goes with the record player."
Dad quickly took it from me and just as quickly tore the wrapping paper off. He again proceeded to jump up and down excitedly.
"I'm guessing that you like it?" I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction.
"Of course I like it," Dad replied as he continued to smile and began opening up the box that had his record player inside of it. I then walked back over to the Christmas tree once again, leaving him to try out his new record player on his own, and grabbed Lucas's gift before I, just like I had done with Dad's gift, pushed it over to him.
"Merry Christmas," I said to him softly.
"What on earth did you get me?" He asked just as softly with a very faint smile on his face.
"Open it and find out." I smiled excitedly.
Lucas slowly tore into the wrapping paper. When a little bit of the present was revealed, he stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at me with wide eyes.
"Ellie, you didn't." He was so unconvinced that I had gotten him a new camera.
"Why'd you stop?" I asked with a small laugh. "Keep opening it."
Lucas didn't say anything else as he did just that. This time, he didn't stop tearing into the wrapping paper until all of the presents had been revealed.
"Oh my God, Ellie, you did." Lucas covered his mouth as he stared at his gift in disbelief.
"Yeah, I did." I smiled brightly. "Do you like it?"
He didn't say anything at first. Instead, he hugged me tightly and kissed me on the lips for a few seconds.
"Thank you." He whispered, smiling brightly. "I love it so much."
"I knew you would," I whispered and smiled back. "Plus, I knew that you were in desperate need of a new one."
"I did, but you didn't have to spend that much money on me." He continued to whisper as he gave me another kiss, but it was on my cheek this time. As he did so, I heard the music of one of the vinyl that I had gotten for Dad.
"I know, but I know that that was something that you wanted and needed." I continued to smile as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I also knew for a one-hundred percent fact that you would like it."
"Your thinking was very much correct." Lucas smiled widely as he gave me yet another kiss. This time around, it was on my forehead. "I can't thank you enough for this."
"You can try by giving me my present." I teased as I nudged his arm.
His smile quickly faded away when I said this. "I really don't think that you'll like though."
I simply sighed in response, not wanting to repeat the fact that I would love anything that he'd give me for the third time. Thankfully, he didn't say anything else as he got up, went over to the Christmas tree, and retrieved the gift that he had gotten for me. He then handed the somewhat small box to me and I smiled as I began tearing off the wrapping paper.

After all of the wrapping paper had been torn and thrown to the side, I slowly opened the box. Inside of it was a silver necklace with a silver treble clef on it.
"I got it because I know that you like music," Lucas explained nervously as I examined the necklace. "I don't know if you like necklaces though, so..." He trailed just as nervously.
"I love it," I told him as I took it out of the box. "It's really beautiful."
"Just like you," Lucas said with a small smile.
"Thank you." I smiled back and blushed faintly. It was pretty amazing that despite the fact that we've been dating for roughly two years, he still managed to make me feel the same feelings that I felt for him at the beginning of our relationship and a little bit before we started dating, especially since some relationships ended because one or both of the people in the relationship no longer had the same feelings for the other person that they used to have.
"Can you help me put it on?" I asked him as I handed him the necklace and grabbed ahold of my hair so that I could hold it back.
"Yeah, of course," Lucas replied as he unclipped the necklace before he put it around my neck and clipped it again. I smiled as I let go of my hair and looked down at the necklace. I smiled even more as I grabbed the treble clef charm that the necklace had and looked down at it.
"You know, I'm really glad that you like it," Lucas said as I continued looking down at the necklace.
"Of course I do." I let go of it after a couple of moments and looked back over at him. "Oh, yeah, by the way, I forgot to ask you this. What did my parents get you?"
Lucas smiled and began blushing quite a bit. "I can't tell you until the time is right."
I frowned and looked over at Dad and Papa, who were extremely immersed into Dad's record player at the moment.
"Dad! Papa!" I called out to them in order to get their attention. They were apparently so immersed into the record player that they both nearly jumped five feet in the air and placed their hands on their chests.
"What?" Papa asked once he had recovered from being startled.
"What did you and Dad get Lucas for Christmas?" He questioned. "He won't tell me."
"He's not allowed to tell you until the time is right." Papa echoed almost word for word what Lucas had said.
"Why not?" I pouted even more.
"You'll understand in the future." Dad chimed into the conversation.
I sighed. I really wanted to know what the gift was, especially since everyone was trying to keep it a secret from me. However, I knew that it was pointless trying to pursue getting one of them to fess up and tell me what it was, so I didn't even bother attempting to.

*****

Later on that night, Lucas was testing out his new camera while we were in my room. He was giddy as he did so, raving about all kinds of cinematography and camera terms that I didn't really understand. He also even went as far as to film around the room and even himself speaking excitedly about his Christmas present.

"God, Ellie, you're the best," Lucas said to me with the biggest smile on his face when he was done playing around with his new camera as he sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around me. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know I am," I replied as I smiled back and rested my head on his shoulder. I also laughed a bit.
"I can't wait to use the gift that your dads gave me, that's for sure." He smirked, knowing that he was sworn to secrecy despite how much I wanted to know what the gift was. "That's for sure."
"What is it?" I whined, even though I knew that it wouldn't get me anywhere.
"I can't tell you, darling." Lucas chuckled as he looked down at me and tucked a few pieces of my hair behind my ear. "I was told not to. Don't complain to me; complain to your dads."
"Can you at least give me a hint?" I continued to whine.
He shook his head.
"But why not?" I whined yet again.
"Because I'm sworn to secrecy." He chuckled. "It'll be worth the wait, trust me."
"I really hope it is." I pouted.
"It will be, trust me." He smiled softly as he placed his other hand underneath my chin.
"How sure are you of that statement?"
"This sure." He then closed the gap between us. I smiled into the kiss and savored every second of it, and that was because I considered every moment that I got to spend with him to be a blessing.

~~~~~