AN: Hello everybody!! This is just a little something I had floating around in my head. Not sure if I'll add more chapters at this time though. So for now it will remain a oneshot. 

This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the How to train your dragon world, which is trademarked by DreamWorks Animation L.L.C. and originally written by Cressida Cowell, and I do not claim any ownership over them or make any money from them. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official storyline.  

Thunder clapped ominously and illuminated the laboratory through the large bay windows.

"I've finally done it!!!" A blonde woman, dressed in a white lab coat and wearing black rubber gloves, shouted in glee as she held the vial of purple liquid in the air dramatically.

"Soon no one in the world can stop me!!" She said before letting out an evil laugh as another lightning bolt streaked through the sky.

"Think not evil fiend!!" Was shouted as the door to the laboratory was punched open. The woman whirled around to see the city's defender standing there with his muscles on display in his red spandex suit and white cape. His hands were on his hips as he puffed his chest out.

"You know, you could have just turned the door handle. It wasn't locked." The woman stated as she put the vial on a stand on her research table before coming to stand in front of the hero. "And where are the minions?!" she then screeched.

"Oh those unfortunate souls are down for the count after facing me, the Monstrous Nightmare!!" The hero boldly proclaimed.

"Don't you mean thanks to me Snotlout? You just leaned against the wall filing your nails!" A nasally voice asked as a lanky figure, dressed in black body fitting armor, stepped through the doorway.

"Don't use my name!! You are simply a sidekick Useless!!" was shouted back towards the lanky man. "I am the hero of this city! Also my nails need to look perfect on camera."

"It is frankly a wonder that your over inflated ego managed to get through the door." Was dryly muttered which caused the woman to giggle.

"Well Hello Babe!" Snotlout said as he flexed his muscles. "If you would point us to the nefarious Dr.Hofferson then I shall finish this quickly so that you may gaze more on my awesomeness."

"Eh.......Snot...."

"Will you shut up you useless sidekick! Can't you see that this woman is mesmerized by my manly muscles."

"But I believe she is the Dr.Hofferson we are searching for."

"Pffft." Snotlout huffed. "As if. She is just a woman not some mad scientist."

"EXCUSE ME!!" Was yelled by the woman in the labcoat before punching the hero squarely in the face. "How dare you call me just a WOMAN!!"

"Aaaah" Snotlout yelled as he held his now bleeding nose.

"Dr.Hofferson I presume?" The lanky man asked.

"Dr. Astrid Hofferson." The blond introduced as she eyed the man.

"You may call me Night Fury." The lanky man stated.

"You appear to have a lot more sense than that." Astrid said while jabbing her thumb in Snotlout's direction. "Are you sure you are a sidekick?"

"Unfortunately. Nice punch by the way."

"Stay out of this Useless!!" Snotlout shouted as he lunged for the woman.

Astrid merely stepped out of the way as Snotlout's momentum carried him into a wall.

Astrid heard Night Fury chuckle at the scene. "I wish I could do that during training."

"Why don't you?" Astrid said as she and Night Fury began circling each other, each getting ready to attack.

"Hmmf, and have the boss yell at me for making a fool of his precious heroes." Night Fury snorted as he ducked a punch while delivering his own which was blocked.

"And why would you get yelled at?" Astrid now asked as she delivered a kick which was caught.

"Because I've been assigned as a sidekick, which won't be changed anytime soon and apparently sidekicks don't embarrass the heroes by beating them up." Night Fury muttered as Astrid managed to get her foot free and had him on the defensive.

"No, they apparently accomplish that on their own." Astrid said as they parted to let a charging Snotlout through. Snotlout was yelling a warcry as he charged towards the fighting pair but yelled curses as he landed against a tesla coil, which thankfully was off.

"Hey watch it!" Astrid yelled. "You know how much I had to pay for that antique!!"

"Does this look like I care!" Snotlout yelled back as he got to his feet. "This is the last time I let you humiliate me!!" He shouted. "Useless stay out of this. I don't need a one-legged sidekick getting in the way of my heroic deeds!"

"One-legged?" Astrid mumbled as she took a closer look at Night Fury. It was then that she noticed the metal leg. "Oh"

Astrid was distracted and narrowly managed to duck out of the way as Snotlout flew at her. Snotlout ended up crashing into her research table and Astrid whirled around while yelling about her work being ruined.

Both Astrid and Night Fury ran to the table to see Snotlout covered in various chemicals.

"Oh no" Night Fury muttered as he helped the dazed man up.

"Oh Hiccup, I don't wanna get up yet. Five more minutes-" Snotlout said as his head rolled back.

"Set him down in that chair." Astrid said pointing towards a plush computer chair.

"Is he going to be alright?"

"Hard to say." Astrid muttered. "I have no idea how those chemicals will react with each other. By the way, you name is Hiccup?"

"Yes, and don't laugh." Hiccup stated as he saw Astrid cover her mouth with the sleeve of her lab coat.

"So I'm guessing the leg is why you are a sidekick?" Astrid queried.

"That and because I have no muscle. Apparently my boss, who is also my dad, says that the public wouldn't want a cripple for a hero. I've pretty much been called useless all my life."

"That doesn't seem fair." Astrid said as she leaned in close. Hiccup's breath hitched as he caught a whiff of her flowery perfume. "When this is all over why don't you join me for a cup of coffee." Astrid suggested. "We could talk some more."

"You do know that I will have to drop you off at the police station right. You've been trying to take over the world for quite some time."

Astrid let out a huff as she looked at Hiccup. "Your idiot hero just destroyed what I was working on so you can hardly say I was trying to take over the world without any evidence."

"Touche" Hiccup said as he smiled at the woman.

"But I'm not converting to the dark side." Hiccup whispered in her ear as he walked up next to Snotlout to check how he was doing.

"Who says anything about joining the dark side? I just want to chat with an interesting individual over a good cup of coffee." Astrid coyly said as she let her hand trail up his shoulder.

"Oh really." Hiccup said as he watched Astrid sway her hips.

"And if you just happen to find the dark to be attractive, I certainly wouldn't mind an addition."

"Well the same goes for you then." Hiccup stated as he trapped Astrid against the wall. "If you find the side of good to be entertaining I certainly wouldn't mind the addition."

Their lips were inches apart and Snotlout chose that moment to wake up and let out a loud groan.

"Oh my head!!" Snotlout grumbled as he stood up on shaky legs.

Snotlout ran and embraced Hiccup as soon as he saw him. "Oh cousin dear please forgive me for my transgressions!! I sincerely hope that we can finally be the bestest friends."

"Eh.......sure....Snotlout." Hiccup said as his eyebrows shot up at Snotlout's behaviour. Even Astrid was looking wide eyed at the hero.

Snotlout turned to Astrid now and grabbed her hand before he started reciting a poem.

"If you're asking if I need you,

the answer is forever...

if you're asking if I'll leave you,

the answer is never...

if you're asking what I value,

the answer is you...

if you're asking if I love you,

the answer is I do!"

"What in tarnation?" Astrid asked as she yanked her hand away when Snotlout was about to kiss it.

"Love is a flower in the spring.

Love is the reason birds sing.

Love is a rainbow in the sky.

Love is a colorful butterfly.

Love is a beautiful summer day.

Love is what shows us the way.

Love is the one so calm at night.

Love is a star that shines so bright.

Love is going to last forever.

Love is the reason we should be together."

Snotlout now recited as he looked adoringly at Astrid.

"You know, I'm beginning to miss the old Snotlout." Hiccup said as he picked his cousin up and deposited him back in the chair.

"The chemicals must have combined. I know I had a babbling serum in one of the beakers and the other was a love potion that I was still working on."

"So he is just going to keep spouting sappy love poems?"

"Who knows." Astrid stated as she noticed Snotlout started to itch.

"I think the other chemicals might have had some side effects." Astrid muttered as she pointed towards the forming cat ears on Snotlout's head and the rash on his arm.

Hiccup watched as Astrid had tied Snotlout to a chair and gagged him and was lathering him with pepto bismol. The communicator went off and Hiccup answered it.

"This is Night Fury speaking." Hiccup said calmly as he angled the screen away from Snotlout and Astrid.

"Where is Snotlout?" A gruff voice asked over the feed.

"Nice to see you too dad." Hiccup mumbled at the man. "Snotlout is a little tied up at the moment."

"Don't give me that tone boy." His father grumbled. "How did the mission go?"

Hiccup discreetly looked at Astrid before he decided. "Intel was wrong." Hiccup stated. "There was no attempt to take over the world. Just Dr. Hofferson working on a new cottoncandy recipe."

Hiccup's father nearly choked upon hearing the news and Astrid raised an eyebrow at Hiccup. "But...but... Our intelligence can't be wrong!! At least tell me you have Dr.Hofferson in custody."

"For what?" Hiccup asked. "Making candy without a license?"

"Don't ya sass me boy! I'll let Snotlout begin investigating as soon as he returns to HQ, you however are suspended."

"SUSPENDED!!" Hiccup shouted into the communicator.

"I warned ya, one more smartass remark and you'd be suspended!!"

"For how long?!" Hiccup grumbled.

"Until ya learn to hold that tongue of yers." was the answer given before the feed was cut off.

"That was harsh." Astrid muttered as she overheard the call.

"That wasn't harsh." Hiccup stated. "Harsh is cleaning the cafeteria with a toothbrush for a foodfight that you didn't even start."

"Well, the way I see it, you might have better luck joining forces with me." Astrid mumbled as she placed an arm around Hiccup's neck. "Why stay with people who don't appreciate you?"

Hiccup grunted. The offer did look appealing as he was about ready to snap from his treatment by the other heroes.

"And what guarantees me that I won't get treated like crap again." Hiccup stated as he backed Astrid into a corner again.

Astrid wound her arms around his neck and whispered seductively in his ear. "I rather work with an equal partner who can keep up with me than a sidekick. So what do you say want to get that coffee?"

"I would be delighted Astrid." Hiccup said as a smile crossed his face while he whispered her name into her ear causing her to shiver.

Astrid looked at the bound and gagged Snotlout as she pushed herself off the wall. "What about him?"

"Just leave him. They will come looking as soon as he doesn't check into headquarters for dinner." Hiccup said as he offered his arm to the blonde.

Astrid wound her arm with his as they headed for the exit. "Also, I need to pick up a book on cottoncandy." She stated which caused Hiccup to snort.

---The End?---