Warning: The next chapter contains scenes with explicit sexual content. Reader discretion is advised.

Legs moved fast, hands waved in the air, clammy and shaky. The woman did not make any noise despite the fact that her head had become a pandemonium of voices and wails. She did not dare to open her mouth because she knew that what would come out of it would not be just a breath of resignation. She knew that if she stopped gritting her teeth, the cry of desolation that she tried to drown inside her chest would escape, sinking her weak spirit, breaking her, destroying the illusion that she had been building for so many months.

She stumbled a few times in the dark, groping her way blindly as her vision was blurry, her glazed eyes tried to hold back the tears. She didn't quite know where she was going, the heavy pain that she felt throughout her body did not allow her to focus.

"Lily. Always Lily". — Severus's voice repeated in her mind.

She was just a distraction. A soulless, unimportant being. Her dull, dark hair could never compare to the fiery brightness of Lily's. Her brown eyes were mundane, boring and would never have the magic of the emerald eyes Severus loved.

Her feet tripped, her knees gave up the heavy burden she was carrying, and she collapsed on the ground, burying her head in her arms.

"Come with me, I beg you."

Laurel looked up to meet Severus' eyes. The wizard was prostrated in front of her and was trying to take her hands in his. His black eyes glowed in the dark and Laurel couldn't help but remember that winter night by the campfire, the night of their first kiss.

"Go away". — she murmured with a withered voice.

"I can't. I won't". — He paused for a second, his forehead touched hers. — "I beg you".

"I knew it... deep down I knew it."

Laurel breathed hard, and a sob escaped her throat. Severus tried to hug her, but the woman pushed away from him, struggling to her feet.

"I have to go to your office." — she said shakily.

He looked at her from the ground: the shadows cast by the light of the torches danced over her beautiful face and he could clearly distinguish the river of tears that soaked her cheeks. Severus felt how the guilt was stabbing wildly into his chest. He was a bastard and Laurel could already see it.

"Listen to me," — he begged. — "What you have heard is not entirely true..."

Laurel narrowed her eyes, fixing her gaze on him, holding her breath. Severus pleaded in his mind for the utter desolation on the woman's face to soften, he pleaded for her to say a word, he prayed for anything he could grab hold of to bring her back to him.

After a few seconds the Akardos turned her face, walking away from him while hiccupping slightly.

He wasted no time in following her.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Severus closed the door behind him and leaned his back against it, watching with haunted eyes as Laurel paced his room, picking up the little pieces of herself: a nightgown, socks, her toothbrush; unimportant belongings that would now take on solemn significance to Severus.

"Please, stop." —He said when she wandered into his office, collecting her notebooks. — "Allow me to explain myself. I never meant to..."

"Hurt me? Allow me to fall in love?" — Laurel had ice in her gaze, her arms barely able to hold her belongings. — "You don't need to apologize for that. I'm the only one to blame. I knew it all along Severus. Every person I met warned me about you. I didn't listen to them. I didn't want to listen".

"They set up us. Dumbledore, Lupin... They planned you to be there..."

"And does that change anything? You said what you said for a reason. Be honest. Be honest for once in your life, Severus. You love her more than anything in the world. You love the memories you have of her. A perfect illusion. I cannot compete with that".

Her voice broke again, and she turned her face down, hiding the tears.

"When did your Patronus changed? After her death?"

Severus went to her and attempted to dry her tears, but she shook her head.

"Answer".

"We used to practice by the lake. We learned to cast it together. They were identical as we both had the same happy memories".

"It is a prove of unwavering love".

"It is torture".

Laurel stared into space; in her head she was replaying the happy memories she shared with Severus. She wondered how her Patronus would look like if she could cast one.

"Laurel, put that down, please".

Severus tugged at her arm, trying to get her to drop her things, but she snapped out of her reverie and gripped them tighter.

"No". —she said firmly. — "I will spend no more nights here, nor in the castle".

"What are you saying?" —Severus fumbled, insisting on his attempts to remove the load from her hands. — "Where are you going?"

"Away from you. Can't you see it hurts me being near you? Under her shadow? I thought there was a chance... I fooled myself into thinking you could get over her, but I see now I would never be as important".

"Wait, Laurel!"

The woman walked towards the door and Severus couldn't stop himself: with a wave of the wand Laurel belongings flew off her hands, back to his bedroom.

"Keep them then". —She snarled, her hand going to the door's handle, but Severus stopped her.

"I need you". —He said, trapping her in his arms, pulling her away from the door.

"You need me, but you don't love me. I am here just to give you comfort".

"Don't say such thing, Laurel. You have given me happiness I could have never dreamed of ever feeling".

"And what happiness do I get?" —She snapped, her face reddening.

Laurel was unable to control her jealousy, her pride was hurt. She knew that if she managed to calm down and analyse the situation with a cool head, she probably wouldn't have the heart to torment that poor man anymore. However, at that moment the resentment was stronger.

"I don't know what happened to keep you obsessed with her, but I know I can't help you. I wish... I really wish I could..."

Severus closed his eyes, burying his face in her hair, the pangs on his conscience drowning him in sorrow. Why did he have to choose to become a Death Eater? Why did he have the misfortune to be the one to deliver the prophecy to Voldemort? He was so reluctant to execute Dumbledore when, in fact, deep down, he had always felt like a murderer. He was still grieving over Lily's death. But how could he explain all this to Laurel? How could he tell her of his darker deeds?

"What I feel for Lily is deep. I cannot deny that". —He muttered. — "The last thing I want is to hurt you. I am marked, Laurel".

Laurel pressed her face against his chest and clenched her jaw, the burning in her eyes warning her of new tears but she did her best to stop herself.

"But I did not mislead you". —He continued. — "You have filled my days with bliss, with love. You are of upmost importance to me".

"Upmost importance". — Laurel laughed cynically. —"My, Severus, you're so sweet..."

The woman pulled away from him with a shaky breath and took his hand, looking directly into his eyes.

"You know what I think? I think I'm pouring my feelings into a vessel that's already full". —Laurel clicked her tongue, silencing Severus's further attempt to speak. — "Remus is right. A little distance from you will be good".

"Remus! —The wizard's eyes widened at the mention of that name. — "You are listening to what bloody Remus have to say?!"

"He has told me he could get me a room in the Hog's Head" — Laurel said with scorn. — "I would rather put more miles in between us but..."

"No. You are not going anywhere. Much less anywhere near that son of a bitch".

"I really doubt there is much you can do to stop me".

Laurel pushed him, trying to get him out of her way, but Severus grabbed her around the torso, lifting her off the ground, leading her to his desk.

"I love you, damn it". —he said in a desperate voice as he sat her down on the table. — I love you, Laurel. I love your skin, your smell, your voice. I love your mouth".

He kissed her hard, but she kissed him harder. So much Severus thought he might bleed but he didn't care. The office suddenly too small to hold the fire of their passion, emotions burning through them. His hands went to her chest, fumbling with the clasps of her robes. She gripped his hair, pulling him back.

"Are you being honest?"

Severus looked at her swollen lips, stared at those fiery eyes. She was breathing hard, trembling, waiting. His words came in a fierce whisper:

"I do. I love you".

Laurel leaned towards him, pressing her mouth so close to his ear the tickle of her hot breath made his groin throb.

"Then fuck me like you really mean it".

Severus wasted no more time with the clasps: he tore off her clothing, throwing it to the floor, together with all the whatnots on top of his desk. His fingers, spider-like, up the inside of her thighs, making the woman jerk her legs with desire. With one hand he pushed Laurel's body until she was lying down and with the other, he caressed the thin laced fabric that covered her sex.

"I must say that I also love... No. Adore that sweet, sweet cunt of yours".

Laurel chuckled, and soon it turned into muffled moans.

He started slowly, blowing warm breath, stroking with his fingers. A few moments were enough to render her white thong soaking wet. He removed it inch by inch, beholding how the garment slide down her legs, the bulge in his pants dying to spring out. Severus grabbed her by the hips, pulling her closer to his face, wrapping her legs around his head. The tip of his tongue flicked her clit a few times and she quiver in delight, his mouth moving, offering attention to every inch of sensitive flesh.

Laurel closed her eyes, Severus's name slipping from her lips like a prayer, the pleasure spreading through her body almost divine.

The wizard squeezed that point of pleasure between his lips, his tongue brushing with just the right pressure, his fingers playing between her pink folds.

Laurel couldn't hold back any longer. Still praising his name, she let her orgasm make her forget any pain.

The tangy, fruity taste in his mouth made her come back to reality.

"I will make sure you keep repeating my name for the rest of our lives, pet". —He whispered, his hands going to his belt buckle, releasing his erected cock. — "Now, bent down for me sweetheart".

Severus force her face against the desk and used his foot to spread the shapely legs apart. One hand squeezed the back of her neck, pinning her against the wood, the other smacking her buttocks until the colour of gold turned a lusty red.

Laurel was barely breathing, the obscene passion she was the object of, clouding her mind. Her legs trembled as his cock rammed into her hard, his sweat soon pouring down her back.

It was rough, curt and wild and Laurel relished every minute of the debauchery of the man who claimed to love her.

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

She opened her eyes and found herself alone. The cold in the dungeons made her skin crawl and she reached out an arm, stroking the empty side of the bed. She remembered the fight and the fuck and couldn't help but feel a pang of shame. Severus had managed to convince her again and now he had left her alone.

She sat up laboriously on the bed, her body still aching from the night before, and it was then that she realized that her small laurel tree was on the nightstand, her diary next to it. The Akardos looked around in confusion as she was sure that she always kept her beloved tree in her first-floor bedroom.

She stepped out of the room into Severus' office and was shocked to see a trunk in the middle of the room.

"I have already packed all our belongings". —Severus smiled at her. — "I thought you may want to keep your diary and your tree near you".